The Power of Love - The Two

By Kinnaird

'I knew I could not be sure about anything anymore, but I wanted to believe he was the man I was going to grow older with, have a life with, regardless. Very little did I know, back then, that my will didn't matter. I was part of something bigger, something written

• Language: English
• Publisher: The Power of Love Series
• Release date: Dec 1, 2023
• ISBN: 9781739463434

Book preview

The Power of Love

The Two

Ross J. Kinnaird

ISBN: 978-1-7394634-3-4

For more info on The Power of Love Series

www.thepowerofloveworld.com

First edition: December 2023

First Print: December 2023

Edited by Imogen Howson – Inkwell

Cover by Ardel Media

Copyright © 2023 Ross. J. Kinnaird

The Power of Love names, characters and related indicia are copyright reserved by The Power of Love Series

DEDICATIONS

To the Ones who, in time of need, come to rescue the most vulnerable souls. They, in the darkness of their painful memories, grasped a glimpse of the greatest understanding of them all:

Love is all we need.

To Simon, a friend, a confidant and someone who proved me many times over, how determination and faith can change our lives, our world, our destiny.

CONTENTS

Chapter One

A Difficult Truth

∞

If I had known how deep the pain would go, right inside my heart and my bones, would I have chosen this path anyway? If I had owned the power of my own sister, would I have taken the risk, knowing that I could have healed from the blow I inflicted on myself and on the ones I loved? Would I have kept John that close to me, risking losing him, losing the Daniel I was, losing what we had together in the remote chance I could bring us back to who we were?

Two weeks had passed since Anita, Noah, and I had returned to the ordinary, familiar world of our loved ones. We had left Runae with new discoveries and new feelings, and now we were struggling to find the painful balance between what we had and what we were destined to have, between who we were and who we had become. We all had our own challenges to face, different truths we had to come to terms with.

Anita was still struggling to accept that what she had experienced was indeed real. Her memories hadn’t returned, despite the effort we had both put into digging for them. She could feel the joy and the pain, the fear and the excitement, like ghosts of an ancient past coming to haunt her days, but she still couldn’t believe. Noah had sent a few texts a couple of days after he had gone back home, saying he didn’t know where to start. His past was simpler but blurrier than mine. There was no artefact to trace back, no lead to follow. He had nothing that could lead him through.

As for me, I had tons of memories, evidence of who I had become, and with those, the difficult conversations with John were multiplying. I had decided to go all in. If I had to face the challenge of sharing the complicated truth, I was going to do it fully. All my secrets had been exposed in the open, been revealed the same day I had come back home. There was no easy point to make. Every piece of information was painful for him and for me, every detail was difficult to grasp. If learning that I had been in another world was incredible to believe, the fact that I had experienced it with someone else, another man he knew nothing about, was impossible to digest. The worst came when I told him how Noah and I were somehow bound together.

‘So, is this a very convoluted way of telling me you fell in love with someone else?’ he replied at some stage. John’s words were filled with resentment and fear.

‘I didn’t fall in love with anybody! I’m telling you what I discovered. This has nothing to do with you and me, do you understand?’

‘How can you tell me you met a man, that the two of you are connected, that you feel each other’s feelings and thoughts, and at the same time, tell me this has nothing to do with you and me?’ He had a point.

‘Whatever this is, it’s not me doing it. It happened to me, not done by me…’ But I knew that was a subtle difference to grasp.

‘And what is falling in love? You’re telling me that the two of you, and by the way, I don’t even know who this individual is—’

‘Individual.’ He reminded me of Anita, the first time she said, ‘This Noah…’ to keep the distance.

‘—are the two halves of something? How can you expect me to not feel like you’re just…in love with him?’

‘OK, let me explain it again.’ I had to make it clearer. ‘My feelings for you are the same. I love you. That hasn’t changed and probably never will. Now, I found out why all that madness was happening to me. I know it’s impossible to believe, and I don’t believe it myself sometimes. But I have seen it with my own eyes, and I have felt it in my head, in my skin. This thing, as you called it, includes a shocking truth about me and Noah. Do I want it? No. Can I stop it? I don’t think so.’

John went quiet. That was the third or fourth time, within the space of a week, that we had argued about it. He was sitting on the couch in our sunroom, and I was about to let Daisy back in through the patio doors. In between going in and out, it felt strangely symbolic of what my life had become. The fight had erupted out of nowhere, as if he had been fuelling it in the background, an explosion waiting to happen at any moment.

‘What are we doing now? What am I supposed to do? Wait for the day you tell me you are meant to be together? It’s not easy to hear that you have this…mental connection…this…whatever this is, with another man.’

‘I’ve told you because this is something that has happened to me. That is happening to me. It doesn’t mean anything for the two of us. We are together. I want things to stay this way.’

That was my fractured truth. I knew I couldn’t be certain about anything any more, but I wanted to believe that he was the man I would grow old with, the one I would have a life with, regardless. Little did I know back then that my will didn’t matter. I was part of something bigger, something written long before I was born as Daniel. It was a destiny I didn’t want, but I couldn’t run from it.

A few days later, Anita came to the house with the latest updates on her and Patrick. John was working in his workshop in the garage at the back of the house.

‘You have to understand, this is not easy for him,’ she said at some point. We were sitting on the bench outside, and Daisy was asleep in the shade, finding some relief from the unusual warmth.

‘I know that. I barely understand it myself,’ I replied.

‘Yes, but you lived it. Nobody else in here has,’ she said, as if she had no part in it, almost like she was the female version of John.

‘Anita,’ I answered, exhausted. ‘You did. You were there with me. I know you can’t remember, but why would I lie to you? You were with me every step of the way!’

‘Yes, you told me that. And of course, I believe you,’ she said, moving closer to Daisy and rubbing her coat. ‘But I understand why John doesn’t. If I didn’t feel the things I feel, I would probably be reacting the same way as him.’

John had seen Anita coming in through the gates, so he paused his work to say hi and joined us on the bench. His face showed the same pain and hostility it had since the moment he had learned the truth. He wasn’t just coming to greet Anita, he was looking for someone to blame. This was his chance to finally confront the one who was supremely complicit in all my recent mistakes.

‘So… It looks like you had your little adventure too.’ His tone was dripping with sarcasm.

‘As far as I can tell.’ She stood in a difficult position, torn between protecting me and empathizing with him.

‘Well, if what he says is true, you must have formed an opinion on all this crazy talk, right?’ He was ready for a full-blown confrontation, armed and ready. His eyes blended beauty and anger, his sandy hair falling on his forehead like guns in the hands of a war angel.

‘John, please,’ I said, trying to prevent things from escalating further.

‘No, I want to know now. I’ve been waiting to meet you for what? Two weeks? I want to know.’ He wasn’t even looking at me.

‘It’s OK, Daniel.’ Anita refused to be cornered by John. Whatever she had in mind, she wouldn’t let him speak to her like that. ‘John, I understand how you feel, more than you can imagine. I don’t have memories of what happened, but,’ she said before he could interrupt her, ‘I do remember how it felt. It’s blurry in my mind, but it’s real in my heart.’

‘Is this enough? How can you believe it?’

‘Because it’s Daniel! You should know he wouldn’t lie, especially about something so painful. Would he risk you, me, and his life for an unbelievable fantasy?’

Her memories might have been left behind, at the gates to the two worlds, but her faith in me remained steadfast. John looked at me, his face releasing its grip on anger and disbelief. Anita had struck a chord in his mind, and he was now questioning his own thoughts right in front of us.

‘John, please,’ I said again. ‘You can’t be mad at me because you don’t believe me and, at the same time, because you do. If you don’t believe me, then OK, I’m crazy. I’m losing my mind. Let’s make decisions based on that. But if you’re mad at me because you do believe me, then let’s face the worries that come with it. Fighting on both sides isn’t helping, and to be honest, it’s not fair either.’

‘This is why I was hoping Anita could shed some light, help me believe it, even if it hurts.’ He looked back at her, waiting.

The answer remained the same. She couldn’t help him trust me. She had her own similar demons to face. Eventually, her practical side resurfaced.

‘I told you, John. I don’t remember. But I can tell you this: I’ve been thinking about what happened. We were gone for days and days! I’ve lost weeks of my life, and I don’t know how. How do you explain that? If Daniel has an answer, I trust him. I know he would never lie to me or to you. So this is it. We were gone, in another world, another dimension, I don’t know. I do believe Daniel and Noah had the power to bring themselves and me somewhere else. Whatever happened there, I don’t know.’

‘So let’s say this is true. What happens now?’ John was nearing his defeat, but he still resisted it.

‘We are waiting for Time’s instructions. In the meantime, Noah is looking for another piece like the one I showed you, in the box with the shell. Also, Time said something about Anita, something like Make sure she knows, as if he knew she would have forgotten. I’m trying to help her remember. Other than that, I don’t know what’s going to happen next.’

‘What about you and this…Noah?’ he asked, repeating the same question again.

‘The only me and Noah that I know of is the two pieces together. I have mine finally. He needs to find his. Apparently, that’s important for whatever we’ll need to do. But there is nothing else between me and Noah!’ I repeated, hoping Anita would confirm it.

‘John…’ Anita tried to get his attention. His gaze had drifted far beyond our heads, his mind grappling with the enormity of that difficult truth. ‘It’s going to be OK. We are back home. You are Daniel’s home. That’s all that matters now.’

The fifteen minutes we spent outside with John felt like hours. Anita was ready to leave, but John returned to his work, his mind melting. So she decided to stay a little longer.

‘Tell me about you and Patrick,’ I said after John left. This time I wanted to force the conversation. I knew Anita hadn’t shown any opening to that painful topic, but I desperately needed to talk about anything other than me.

‘There is no me and Patrick, I’m afraid. Oh, he was worried about me being gone. He wanted to know what happened, and of course, I lied. I told him I needed some time to think, and I had asked you to come along…’ She still held on to that secret pact we made on our way back from Noah’s Bridge.

‘Oh, I see. Did he think we’re nuts?’ I replied, smiling.

‘Well, either that or…’ she hinted at our journey to Runae, ‘…or that. I guess I went for the easier one.’

‘Did you talk about what’s going to happen between the two of you?’ I kept pushing.

‘A bit. Of course, it’s Patrick we’re talking about. There’s no talking about feelings, commitments. How far can a conversation go with someone like that?’ She was somewhat cold towards him, towards the idea of fixing their problems.

‘So you’re not going to get back together, I assume.’

‘I don’t think so. He doesn’t budge from his spot. Everything is so…shallow. It’s like he can’t go any deeper than that. And to be honest, I was OK with it until a few months ago. I guess I’ve changed, and he’s not going to bridge that gap I’ve left.’

‘What about his crazy ideas?’ I still remembered what she had told me while we were sitting by the mountains, after passing through hell in the Valahan Mogs, waiting to rescue Noah from the Crimson Queen. ‘Did you tell him how you feel about it?’

‘Sure! That’s the main reason we’ve had so many fights lately. He never liked his family, always complaining about it. He wanted to be independent and be independent with me by his side. Then, one day he decided he wanted to leave the country, start a new life, start a new business…’

‘You never told me that?’ I was shocked.

‘Because it didn’t make any sense! I thought he was joking. But then he started getting closer to his family again. His sister, Aoife, do you remember her? Her boyfriend lives in Germany. He had a business plan, some crazy project about an e-commerce for cheap stuff. And she was going with him, and Patrick’s family wanted him to go too, to be part of this adventure. I’m telling you, nuts!’

I couldn’t believe my ears when she had told me about Patrick randomly moving from one idea to another. I didn’t realize she was talking about something so extreme.

‘OK. Let’s leave this project aside for a moment. What about you?’ I asked.

‘About me, what?’ she replied, still angry just by talking about it.

‘You in this picture! Did he ask you to go with him?’

‘Of course not! It didn’t matter. I didn’t matter. So I knew it wasn’t just his inability to show emotions. I don’t think he has ever felt them, for me.’

‘So he is going to go?’ I couldn’t believe it still.

‘Yup. Next week. He was going to go sooner, but his stupid ex-girlfriend decided to disappear…’ She quoted him, and I was astonished by what had happened to her, right under my nose. I had no idea. I started to think I hadn’t been a great friend if I wasn’t aware of her struggles, but I knew Anita wasn’t exactly talkative about things that hurt her. We were surrounded by unwanted, difficult truths. Both of us were dealing with changes bigger than us. We were both finding ourselves at a crossroads, where people would come and go without stopping by. Although her situation was not supernatural in nature, it was still hard to accept.

‘Did you have any other episodes?’ she asked, as if I were a victim of some sort of disability. It was like the time we had spent in the other world was gone, and we were back to when she would ask me about my dreams.

‘Nothing. Since we came back, it has been quiet.’

‘Good,’ she said. ‘Don’t worry about John. He will come around.’ And she took her bag, ready to go. ‘You know, there is something very strange in this house...’ And her eyes moved across the fields, the house, my world.

‘What do you mean?’ I asked, following her as she was getting in her car.

‘I’m not sure. This is not the first time I felt it. Do you know that feeling of being watched? When you walk in the streets, at the shops. Sometimes you can tell when someone’s eyes are on you? It’s like that.’

‘You know this means something, right?’ I asked, hoping the Anita that saw through history and its mysteries would come back to me soon. ‘Can you see what is it?’

‘No, I can’t. It fades quickly before I can even focus on it. Anyway, I’m going. Don’t worry about John. It will all be OK.’

Despite the situation, Anita and I were still playing the game. Two best friends who tried to keep the ball rolling against the odds, against the uncertainties of our lives. Somehow, the fact that she was still the same, even without her memories, was reassuring. If my problems with John could have been fixed as Anita hoped, the issue with my unjustified absence from work was getting worse. I had attended a few meetings with my manager and HR to go through the reasons why I had skipped work without informing anyone for three long weeks. The morning after Anita’s visit, I was again facing the inevitable series of questions about my reasons and my whereabouts.

I wasn’t expecting any positive outcome. After all, in their eyes, I had breached my contract. My behaviour was considered unacceptable, but somehow my excuse protected me from a harsh judgement. I said I had gone to Italy to see my grandma, who had suddenly gotten worse. Once again, my lies were mixing with a reality that few others could have understood. My apologies broke through the wall of dismissal, and I came out victorious, but with a severe warning. There wasn’t much to celebrate, but considering the risk I faced, I felt spared. However, Harry couldn’t just accept my version of the story. Although he wasn’t going to affect my life in any way, he was determined to pass a sentence of bad friendship and unreliability.

‘You should consider yourself lucky! If that were me, they would have fired me on the spot!’ he said as we were sitting outside in the outdoor dining area at work. Without me even noticing it at first, he had started to smoke. The idea that I hadn’t had a cigarette in weeks had just popped up in my mind.

‘They didn’t go as easy as you think, Harry. I’m still in by a pure miracle,’ I replied, not wanting to engage in his argument because it was always the same. I was the lucky one, the one who didn’t really work that hard.

‘Yeah, a miracle. If we were in England, you would be long gone now,’ he replied, not even looking at me.

‘Hold on one second now. You’re obviously mad. I don’t understand if you’re mad because I’m somehow safe, or it’s because I was gone for three weeks without telling you,’ I said, carefully choosing my words. I was still the sinner, and my right to be treated fairly felt weak.

‘No. I don’t know,’ he stuttered. ‘Yes, it’s because you were gone. People were worried. Here, they were worried and started to ask me questions.’

‘I told you already that I’m sorry. What else do you want? Do you understand it was something that took me by surprise?’

‘Well, you had the time to tell Anita and bring her there with you! Not enough surprise in there, is it?’ he retorted, and there it was. The reason behind his anger was who I had chosen to bring with me, to support me in what, in fact, was a lie.

‘Believe me, she is not happy either. I actually spared you from the trouble,’ I replied, and once again, my lies were almost true. ‘Did you meet any special girl while I was away?’ I clumsily changed the topic, using Harry’s self-centeredness.

‘No, it’s the same story every time. They say they are looking for something special, but then they are really not. And they say us men are the insensitive ones. I’m growing tired of this country to be honest. There is not one thing that goes my way.’

‘It’s not the country, it’s the people, Harry. And not all of them. Just a few rotten apples can’t make you feel like everything else should be thrown away?’ Immediately after saying it, I pictured myself in a basket full of bad apples. ‘ You’ll find someone, soon I would imagine.’

My attempt worked. Harry went on and on for a good five minutes, taking the rest of my break. I was happy I had managed to put the issue away. I was also glad he wasn’t trying to inquire about my trip to Italy and all the questions that were left unanswered. The heavy day passed, and coming back home was just a relief. Daisy was the only one left in my life who was giving me a good time just by seeing me. There was no ‘Where have you been? You left me alone. You did me wrong.’ It was just pure and simple love, the same she had shown me since the day we had brought her home.

John, on the other hand, saw me coming home but decided to stay in his workshop, a clear sign he was still processing his thoughts and feelings for me. Right before I decided to go and see him, asking what he wanted for dinner, a message popped up on my phone.

Noah

How are you?

Three weeks now, and I’m still looking…

Daniel

Did you not find anything at all?

A lead?

Noah

Nothing really. My mother had a journal ​

she was keeping. I had no idea it existed. ​

I’ve started to read it, but it feels like I’m intruding…            

Daniel

Do you think she was your Praetorian?

Like my grandma was for me?

Noah

I’m not sure. I’d say yes, she was. ​

She mentions a few names of bad people she ​

met early in the years. She calls them Harpies..

Daniel

It really sounds like bad people.

Noah

Did you get fired?

Daniel

Not for now… I have to go make dinner

Text me if you find anything.

Noah

Alright. Is John OK?

But I didn’t answer his last text. Somehow, talking to him about John felt weird. It felt like I was being unfaithful to John by talking to Noah and unfaithful to Noah by talking about John. Finally, the Artist decided to come back home, right after I had put my phone on the kitchen table. His body brought the cold front of an early ending summer, and I was unprepared to face another storm. I smiled, told him I was making dinner, and avoided saying anything else.

Chapter Two

The Awoken Ones

∞

Waking up by myself in what once was our bed was a daily blow to my heart. Since I had come back, John had decided to sleep in the spare bedroom, away from me and my madness. Whatever his mind was plotting, his signals were clear. He didn’t want to be close to me, near me. In the rare moments when I could set aside my guilt, I could see much more in his actions. He wasn’t just upset with me for my disappearance, the things I had told him, or Noah. It went beyond that.

Occasionally, I had a sense that he was unhappy about no longer being the centre of my world. I had embarked on a solitary journey, leaving him behind. John was like a blend of Harry and Anita. He couldn’t fully comprehend what I had experienced, and he resented me for venturing on that path alone. Victory wasn’t on the horizon for me. Several days had passed, and things hadn’t improved. A stubborn, deafening silence had settled between our hearts.

Finally, one evening, circumstances pushed us closer together. I had prepared dinner for both of us, hoping John would join me at the kitchen table, giving us the opportunity to discuss anything other than me. However, Daisy’s growling at the front door interrupted our plans. Oblivious to the commotion as I was far from her, I was surprised when John entered the room.

‘Can’t you hear Daisy?’ he said, once again employing a tone as if I had failed even that simple task. ‘She has been going mad at the front door for a few minutes now.’

‘What? Is she hearing something outside?’

‘I’ve checked. There is nothing. And she’s still at it!’ he replied.

‘OK, wait a moment. Let’s go and check again,’ I said, setting aside the food on the kitchen island.

We stepped outside; the sun had long disappeared, and darkness settled in. With the outdoor lights on, we walked to the front of the house. However, unusually, Daisy didn’t follow.

‘Come on, girl, let’s go. Show me!’ I urged, looking at her. But she wouldn’t move. Her snout was fixed on something behind me, in the pitch-black night, beyond the tall magnolia trees.

‘Come on Daisy, let’s go for a walk!’ John added, trying to be more convincing.

‘She won’t come out, that’s weird…’ I said to John, who was looking at me, ready to blame me for that too.

We spent a few minutes walking around the house, from the closed gates to the hill at the back. The lights from the poles scattered around forced the shadows of the night just inches away, but they failed to give us any clues about what we were searching for. Then, everything went dark. The lights inside and outside the house simultaneously went off, and we stood there, as if we had lost power as well.

‘What’s going on?’ John exclaimed, a few feet away.

‘Let’s go back inside. Come on, I’ll check the switch box,’ I replied, moving towards the house.

‘Girl, calm down!’ John said as Daisy started barking loudly. ‘What the hell?’

John’s eyes focused on the large trees behind me. A shadow, darker than the encroaching night, moved from one part to another. It resembled a blurry grey cloud, expanding slowly in the empty space. For a brief moment, I thought a spectre had somehow survived and managed to cross the node, finding its way into my home, my world.

‘John, get back in the house!’ I said, slowly moving backwards. ‘Now!’

‘What is that?’ he asked, defying my request.

‘I’m afraid it’s a spectre… I thought they were all gone.’

‘Watch out!’ John shouted.

The malevolent presence rapidly grew larger, advancing towards me with wicked intentions. Even if I was mistaken and it wasn’t a spectre, the imminent threat to my safety couldn’t have been clearer. I could feel it in my skin, my hair tingling in the air. I knew it had come for me, to harm me. A high-pitched whistle pierced our ears just as I turned back to push John inside the house. Before I could close the door behind us, the shadow attacked, exerting its oppressive weight on us. I’d grabbed John and pulled him into my arms, shielding him from the pain we were about to feel, when a bright white flash emerged from inside the house. The long-forgotten cloak I had received from a mysterious benefactor materialized, positioning itself between us and our aggressor, shining brilliantly. As if it had a life of its own, it emerged from the spare bedroom, standing there to protect us, protecting us from the sufferings we weren’t meant to endure. Moments later, the magical glow vanished along with the attacker. The cloak slowly descended onto my shoulders, covering my body and head, silent and lifeless.

‘It’s true…isn’t it?’ John said, still in my arms, his gaze directed at the floor where Daisy now sat silently.

‘It is, John… I’m sorry,’ I said, releasing him from my embrace. My attention shifted to the long, white garment that adorned me.

‘So I guess this wasn’t something from a Connemara gift shop?’ he asked, looking at me.

‘I suppose not…’ I felt embarrassed once again. I hadn’t told John that he was mistaken in thinking I had bought it during my trip to Noah’s Bridge. ‘But I have no clue how or who sent it. The morning you found it in the kitchen was the first time I saw it too.’

‘Is that…thing gone?’ John’s gaze drifted outside, behind me. ‘What was it?’

‘It appears so. I’m not entirely sure what it was, but I know it wasn’t a spectre. I need to text Noah,’ I said without considering that it might upset John. ‘If that thing found me, it might find him too, and I don’t think he has a cloak like this.’

I took a final glance outside, ensuring that the evil presence had truly vanished, then returned inside and closed the door behind me. John lifted Daisy and locked the door, adding another layer of protection. Little did he know that those creatures could employ their magic to break through any powerful barrier, let alone a wooden door. He followed me into the kitchen, standing by my side as I texted Noah. The events had rapidly reshaped his perspective, forcing him to confront the terrifying reality he had refused to believe in. We had been thrust out of our usual dynamic, where I used to follow him everywhere, seeking attention. Now, I held the reins, and he was too scared to challenge it.

Daniel

Something tried to attack us at the house. ​

We managed to send it away. I don’t know ​

what it was, but I’m worried it could come to ​

you next. Please, text me asap.

John was silently looking at my phone while I continued texting. His thoughts could have drifted to our recent fights, our heated conversations about another man entering my life, but I didn’t care. Once again, I found myself straddling the blurry line between these two relationships, and I couldn’t bring myself to feel guilty about it.

‘What about Anita?’ he asked.

‘What about her?’

‘Wouldn’t she be in danger too?’ he added.

‘I don’t think so. You see, it’s Noah and I who are being targeted by these entities. Anita is more like you, an unwilling participant who had to endure the same experience as us. But you’re right, it’s better not to take any risks. I’ll text her!’ I replied, sending a similar message to Anita as well.

‘It’s petrifying to know that we can be attacked just like that, out of nowhere. Are we safe now? Are we safe here?’ John expressed genuine concern. This was the first time he had confronted my truth head-on.

‘I don’t know what to say, John. In Runae, everything was magical. Eventually, we became accustomed to the idea that all those beings possessed powers beyond our imagination. Here, on Earth, we don’t have such thing. If that evil has reached me here, it must have come from another place…’ I tried to make sense of my own words as I spoke.

‘But you’re here… There is magic here too, isn’t there?’

That question hit me like a sudden awakening, a slap in the face. I was drawn into a mystical realm of beings I had never truly felt I belonged to. It was the first time I realized that I wasn’t just a victim of events. In John’s eyes, I was one of them, at least to some extent. It was also the first time John and I had discussed the topic without anger, guilt, and misunderstanding. That experience had been traumatic for him, but it had brought him closer to me, Noah, and Anita. He could now sense and understand the things we had felt, and he could finally see some of the truths I had been telling him with his own eyes. Anita’s reply came swiftly.

Anita

Are you alright? Is it John OK?

Daniel

We are OK. Somehow, it was what John

needed to understand. We are talking…

Anita

Good. Shall I come over or will I let you ​

two sort things out? Do you need me?

Daniel

It’s OK. Don’t worry.

Do we meet tomorrow after work?

Anita

Sure. I finish at 4 on Fridays.

Daniel

Please let me know if something weird

happens there… I’ll come right away!

Anita

I will, don’t worry. Night x

That night, John returned to sleep in our bed. I wasn’t sure if he was reconsidering our relationship or simply afraid of sleeping alone in the spare bedroom. Regardless, I didn’t make any comments when he joined me in bed. We had managed to have a longer conversation while eating our cold dinner, which had been left waiting for us. John was suddenly becoming more accepting of the fact that I had a significant secret buried in my past and that I had never intended to hurt anyone. Noah’s name came up a few times, but we never truly discussed my connection to him and how it made John feel uneasy. Before falling asleep, I checked my phone once more. Noah still hadn’t replied, and all my calls to him had gone unanswered.

‘Still nothing?’ John asked, lying in bed. Even though he was facing the other way, he knew I was still waiting for a response.

‘No, nothing. I’m sure he’s OK. I’m just worried…’ I replied.

‘He’ll text you…’ Those were his last words before drifting off to sleep, and I could feel the weight of his heart, his struggle to set aside his emotions for the sake of something greater.

The next morning, on my way to work, I received a message from Noah saying he was OK and that he had worked through the night at a nursing home and had left his phone at home. Relieved to hear he was fine, I informed him about what had happened, hoping that he could be better prepared if a similar situation were to catch him off guard.

Noah

I have an idea about what that

might have been. I spent the last few

nights reading my mother’s journal.

Daniel

What did you find?

Noah

I think she might have known more than

I thought. There are a few details that you

might want to read too..

Daniel

Shall we get on a call tonight? ​

I’m seeing Anita at 4.

Noah

I work tonight too. But I start at 6.

Let’s do that. Call me when you get

to her. I feel we might need her again.

Now I was looking forward to knowing more, and the day at work felt longer than usual. I met Harry at our usual spot in the canteen, and we discussed how long it had been since we were all together. While he danced around the question of when we would do it again, I couldn’t help but think about how we could be around him without revealing what we all knew. How would we keep him in the dark about our secrets, our many whispers in the shadows? Somehow, I felt like I was betraying his trust in me, in our friendship.

Despite my numerous mistakes, I couldn’t say no to the idea of getting together for dinner over the weekend, pushed by Harry’s sincere and kind intentions. I agreed, but with the condition of rescheduling if John and Anita couldn’t make it. With the afternoon nearly over, I hopped in my car and drove to Anita’s place. I texted Noah, letting him know I would call him soon.

Anita was sitting outside on one of the squeaky chairs where we used to sit and smoke cigarettes. She had managed to avoid falling back into that bad habit, which was another sign that whatever she had experienced with me had to be true. With a glass of red wine in her hand and a pair of sunglasses on her face, she greeted me with a big