A Journey of Healing

By Judith Patrick

"A Journey of Healing” beautifully captures the intricacies of emotional healing, the power of forgiveness, and the triumph of love over adversity. Set against the backdrop of a picturesque small town, the novel weaves a tapestry of hope and resilience, reminding readers of the profound impact that faith can have in guiding us through life's challenges. As the first installment in the Rivers of Redemption Series, this novel promises an immersive reading experience that will leave readers eagerly anticipating the next chapter in Carmi and Mark's journey toward love and redemption.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Publishdrive
• Release date: May 12, 2024

Book preview

A Journey of Healing

Patrick Judith

Surely he hath borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows: yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted. But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities: the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

Isaiah 53:4-5 

Prologue

The morning sun cast a golden glow over the small town of Riverwood, where Carmi Bennett had spent her entire life. It was a day filled with bittersweet emotions, as she stood amidst a sea of fellow graduates, clutching her diploma tightly in her trembling hands. High school was finally over, and the future stretched before her like an undiscovered country. However, Carmi knew that before she could embark on that journey, there was a more crucial and pressing task she needed to accomplish.

A sense of determination surged through her as she made her way back home, her heart pounding with a mix of anticipation and anxiety. Today, she would confront her father, Kennedy Bennett, about the painful burden he had carried all her life. The weight of guilt and blame that he had placed upon her shoulders for the death of her mother, a woman she had never known but whose absence haunted her every waking moment.

Kennedy had always been a man of few words, an enigma hidden beneath layers of sorrow and resentment. Carmi had grown up amidst the echoes of her mother's name, whispered in hushed tones or locked away within the walls of their old family home. She had listened to the echoes, the half-truths, and the fragments of a story that she yearned to piece together.

Her mother Olivia Bennett had died on the very day Carmi was born. The guilt had gnawed at Kennedy's soul, tearing at the fabric of their never-formed relationship along with it. And in his grief-stricken state, he had convinced himself that Carmi was to blame for her mother's demise.

Over the years, Carmi had tried to make sense of it all, searching for answers that eluded her grasp. She had clung to her mother's memory like a lifeline, desperately yearning for a connection that had been cruelly snatched away from her before it even began. And now, on this pivotal day after her high school graduation, she felt an unshakeable resolve to face the truth, to confront her father and lay bare the scars that had marked her existence.

As the front door creaked open, Carmi stepped into the familiar embrace of their home, her footsteps echoing through the hallway. The air seemed heavy with anticipation, as if the house itself sensed the weight of the impending conversation. Her father sat alone in the living room, his figure silhouetted against the dim light streaming through the window.

Carmi took a deep breath, steadying herself as she walked toward him. Her heart thudded in her chest, drowning out the sounds of her own footsteps. She had rehearsed the words a thousand times in her mind, but now, in this moment of truth, they seemed to escape her.

Kennedy turned to face her, his eyes clouded with a mixture of surprise and curiosity. He opened his mouth to speak, but before any words could form, Carmi found her voice. It emerged as a whisper, barely audible, yet laced with the strength of a thousand unsaid words.

Dad, I need to talk to you, she began, her voice quivering but determined. I need to understand. I need to know the truth about Mom. About me.

Silence hung in the air, thick with unspoken emotions. The weight of years of pain and unspoken truths seemed to hover between them. And in that moment, Carmi knew that this conversation would alter the course of their lives forever.

Dad, I've had enough, she declared, her voice firm, tears welling in her eyes. I can't continue living like this, constantly blamed for something that wasn't my fault. Today all my classmates had their parents present, I had no one and here you are, drunk and unbothered about your only child.

Kennedy's face twisted with anger, his eyes burning with resentment. His voice dripping with venom had that distinctive Missourian accent as he responded, You will never understand what it's like to lose someone you love. You took your mother away from me. As for your graduation, it is the last thing on my mind today.

Carmi's heart sank at her father's cruel words. How could he continue to hurl such accusations at her, knowing the pain it caused her? She mustered up the courage to confront him, refusing to let his emotional abuse go unchallenged.

I was just a baby, Dad, she pleaded, her voice trembling with hurt. I didn't choose to be born. I didn't choose for Mom to die. How can you continue to blame me for something I had no control over?

Kennedy's eyes blazed with anger, and his Southern drawl booming through the room. You don't understand anything. You were the cause of her death. If it weren't for you, she would still be here. You ruined everything!

Carmi's heart shattered into a million pieces as his words pierced her soul. She had hoped for understanding, for a glimmer of empathy from her father, but all she received was more blame and resentment.

Tears streamed down her face, a mixture of sadness, frustration, and anger. I am not to blame, Dad, she said, her voice quivering. I deserve love, understanding, and support, not this constant burden of guilt you've placed upon me.

But Kennedy remained steadfast in his convictions, refusing to acknowledge his role in perpetuating this toxic cycle. He raged on, his voice growing louder and more aggressive with each passing moment.

You will never escape the guilt, Carmi, he hissed. It will haunt you forever because it is your fault.

The words cut deep, reopening wounds that had never healed. At that moment, Carmi realized that her father's emotional abuse would never come to an end. It was a never-ending cycle of blame and resentment, and she couldn't subject herself to it any longer.

Late that night, as the moon cast its soft glow upon Riverwood, Carmi made a decision. She couldn't bear to remain in that suffocating environment any longer. With tears streaming down her cheeks, she quietly gathered a few belongings, slipping a photograph of her mother into her pocket.

She didn't have a specific destination in mind, but she knew she had to leave. A sense of liberation surged through her as she took one last look at the room that held so many painful memories. It was time to break free from the chains of her father's blame.

With a heavy heart but a determined spirit, Carmi stepped out into the night, the weight of the world upon her shoulders. She walked through the silent streets of Riverwood, her footsteps echoing in the stillness.

Eventually, she found herself at the bus station, the cold night air nipping at her skin. Looking up at the flickering neon sign that read Portland, Oregon, something stirred within her. It was as if the universe was providing her with a direction, a glimmer of hope.

Without hesitating, Carmi purchased a ticket to Portland. She boarded the bus, finding solace in the anonymity it offered. As the engine roared to life, she settled into her seat, gazing out of the window at the receding lights of Riverwood. The town that had been her entire world was now fading into the distance, left behind like the painful memories she hoped to escape.

Portland awaited her with its unknown possibilities, a city brimming with life and opportunities. It was a place where she could start anew, where she could discover her own identity free from the burden of her father's blame. She didn't know what the future held, but she had faith that she would find her place in the world, away from the shadows that had haunted her for far too long.

As the bus rolled down the highway, Carmi leaned back in her seat, closing her eyes for a moment. In the darkness behind her eyelids, she saw her mother's face, gentle and loving. It was a reminder that she carried a part of her mother within her, and that strength would guide her through the uncertain path ahead.

The road stretched out before her, winding through the vast expanse of the night. Carmi embraced the unknown, ready to face whatever lay ahead. She was determined to create a life for herself, one filled with healing, self-discovery, and the freedom to define her own story.

And so, as the bus sped toward the horizon, Carmi Bennett embarked on a journey of self-discovery, leaving behind the weight of her past and stepping into a future of her own making.

Chapter One

The old Ford rattled and groaned as it bounced along the potholed road that led into town. It was early summer morning, and the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon, casting a soft golden light across the rolling hills that surrounded the small town of Riverwood.

In the driver's seat sat a young woman in her late twenties with eyes fixed on the road ahead. She had long, wavy brown hair and a slender frame, and her face was etched with lines of exhaustion and sadness. 

Carmi drove into Riverwood, her heart felt heavy with a mix of apprehension and grief. It had been ten long years since she had escaped the clutches of her father's emotional abuse, and now she was returning to her hometown to bury him. The memories of pain and torment echoed in her mind as she navigated the familiar streets.

The town appeared much the same, yet somehow different. The buildings stood strong, and the trees swayed gently in the breeze, but there was an air of transformation that she couldn't quite put her finger on. As she approached the outskirts, she noticed new additions—shops, restaurants, and a sense of vitality that hadn't been there before.

Carmi's grip tightened on the steering wheel as she drove past the old house where she had grown up. The wounds of her past seemed to resurface, but this time she was determined to confront them and find closure. Taking a deep breath, she turned away from the painful memories and focused on the road ahead.

As she reached the heart of town, Carmi noticed the church steeple towering over the surrounding buildings. It was a symbol of solace and hope, a reminder that she was not defined by the pain she had endured. She made a mental note to visit the church later, seeking comfort and guidance in a place that had once been a sanctuary for her troubled soul.

Driving through the streets, Carmi couldn't help but notice the changes that had taken place. The local shops had expanded, and new faces now populated the sidewalks. It was a bittersweet realization, as if life had moved on without her, leaving behind remnants of a past she had tried to forget.

As she passed the park, Carmi's gaze caught sight of children playing and laughing, their innocence a stark contrast to the darkness she had experienced. She allowed herself a faint smile, finding solace in the fact that the cycle of abuse had not tainted the entire town. There was still joy and happiness to be found.

Finally, Carmi arrived at the funeral home, where her father's service would take place. It was a somber moment, but also an opportunity for her to bid farewell to a painful chapter in her life. 

As she stepped down from her old Ford, a rush of familiar scents enveloped her, evoking memories she had both longed to forget and cherished deep within her heart. The air was filled with the distinct aroma of fresh earth, carried on a gentle breeze that whispered through the town. Carmi took a deep breath and finally took the first step towards the entrance of the home, with every breath she summoned the strength to face her past and embrace this new and unknown journey that lay ahead.

Inside the funeral home, Carmi was greeted by a small group of mourners. Her father's friends and colleagues, mostly. They offered their condolences, but Carmi couldn't bring herself to make small talk with them. She was there for one reason only: to say goodbye to the man who had made her life a living hell.

As the service began, Carmi found herself lost in thought, her mind wandering back to memories of her childhood. She thought of the countless times her father had screamed at her, belittled her, and made her feel like she was worth nothing. She thought of the nights she had spent crying herself to sleep, wishing she could escape the nightmare that was her life.

The moment she dreaded since she received the news of her father’s passing was finally upon her. Carmi stood at the podium, staring out at the sea of faces before her. They were all here to say goodbye to her father, a man who had been loved and respected by so many in their small town except by his only child. But for Carmi, the thought of speaking about him was almost unbearable.

Her father had been a difficult man, emotionally abusive and controlling. He had never shown her any love or affection, only criticism and condemnation. And now, as she stood here in front of this crowd, she was being forced to confront the pain he had caused her.

Taking a deep breath, Carmi began to speak. She spoke of her father's achievements, his successes in business, and his generosity to the community. But with each passing sentence, she found it harder and harder to keep her composure. The memories of his cruelty came flooding back, threatening to overwhelm her.

Carmi closed her eyes and took another deep breath, feeling a sense of peace wash over her. She knew that Rachel was right. With God's help, she could face this moment and honor her father in a way that was true to her own heart.

She opened her eyes and looked out at the crowd once again. My father was a complicated man, she began. He had his flaws, just like we all do. But in spite of everything, I know that he loved me in his own way. And I forgive him for the pain he caused me.

There were murmurs from the crowd, but Carmi felt a sense of relief wash over her. She had said what she needed to say, and in doing so, she had found a measure of