Loving Lizzy: Serenity Mountain Series, #6

By Cassie Colton

Pediatric doctor Michael Harris embarks on a humanitarian mission, only to be kidnapped by rebels, leaving his pregnant wife, Elizabeth, to face the challenges that unfold in his absence. As Elizabeth gives birth to their son Conner while Michael is held captive, tragedy strikes when Conner succumbs to Sudden Infant Death Syndrome four weeks later.

Enduring the pain of her husband's captivity and the loss of their son alone, Elizabeth is shocked when she receives a call from her doctor with a devastating diagnosis: breast cancer. Fearing the possibility of history repeating itself, as Michael had witnessed his mother's battle with the same disease, Elizabeth decides to face this battle on her own.

When Michael finally reunites with the woman he loves, he is determined to convince her to fight for herself and their future together. Will Michael be able to break through the walls Elizabeth has built around herself and inspire her to join him in the fight for their shared happiness?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Cassie Colton
• Release date: Jun 4, 2024
• ISBN: 9798989864607

Book preview

PROLOGUE

Michael Harris picked up his beer and headed toward Chase, the groom, his best friend, and the team. As he approached, Chase smiled and held out his hand. We need to get together when I come home from my honeymoon. I owe you for watching over Kassie. If I can ever return the favor, my friend. He held Michael’s gaze, conveying his gratitude.

You’d do the same for me. Enjoy your time alone. Both of you deserve it. he replied.

Thank you for picking up, Lizzy. She said you needed to head back to Seattle. I hope everything’s okay. The groom cocked his head, confused.

Michael scanned the crowd for his ex-wife, wondering why she had lied. She picked at her dinner and now desired to leave before the dancing even started.

Oh, yeah. It’s fine. I have a couple of patients to visit at the hospital later, he fibbed. Another thing he wanted to discuss with her. She didn’t want their friends to know of their former marriage. Chase had supported him while Michael searched for her, and he felt like a heel for not telling him. Leo and the team used him as backup, yet he didn’t feel like part of the group of men. Apart from his best friend, he seemed like an outsider.

The party moved to the dance floor and his gaze landed on his ex-wife. Her head tilted back in laughter at something the small cluster of women discussed. Lizzy surveyed the area until she saw him and immediately averted her eyes. He excused himself as Shadow caught Chase’s attention and slowly worked through the crowd to stand beside the woman he loved. Gently taking her elbow, he leaned down to whisper in her ear.

I understand you’re ready to leave. He watched as her expression changed from happy to grim. She made her goodbyes and slightly nodded to him, indicating her choice to vacate the joyous occasion.

He walked next to Lizzy, without attempting to take her by the hand, to the vehicle. Opening the car door for her, he waited while she got situated before shutting it and walking to the other side. The tension crackled in the air between them as he drove to Seattle to her condo.

The wedding turned out great. Chase and Kassie practically radiated with joy. The team and their family did a wonderful job to make it special, Michael attempted to break the ice.

Yeah, she replied.

Why did you want to go? I hoped to get a dance, he asked.

If you wanted to stay, I could’ve found a ride. Lizzy continued to gaze out the window.

Frowning, he replied, I don’t mind taking you home. I’m surprised you lied to our friends about why you wished to leave. While we’re on the topic, I’m not thrilled at keeping our relationship a secret.

I don’t want to answer questions about our past. I believe I have a right to my privacy, her voice held a bit of a bite.

Michael gritted his teeth as his patience started to grow thin. The last few months have been crazy, and Chase is my best friend. I thought you liked the women.

I do, she told him.

Then why the secrets? I don’t want to forget Conner. I know Chase and Kassie can relate. They lost a child, he reminded her softly.

It’s different, Lizzy replied curtly. He noticed his line of questioning bothered her as she gripped her purse and she turned her gaze forward, showing her pursed lips.

How? he asked. Her behavior and responses to his questions raised red flags. His normally put-together ex-wife seemed erratic in her actions and thoughts, and he struggled to find the reason.

Lizzy’s hand went to her forehead as if she suddenly suffered from a headache. I don’t want to discuss this right now.

Michael’s jaw ticked as he pulled into the parking lot of her condo complex. He turned the car off and started to unbuckle his seatbelt.

You don’t need to escort me up. I’ll be fine. Her words fell on deaf ears as he opened his door and proceeded to help her out.

She frowned as she accepted his hand. He shut her door and Lizzy let go of his hand to walk briskly up the sidewalk. He followed a few steps behind her.

Michael waited as she used her key to unlock the door. She turned to close it, not allowing him in, when his arm shot out to hold it open.

Do you want to tell me what’s going on? This entire week, you’ve avoided me or acted distant. Talk to me. he pleaded.

She slowly took a breath as he strode through the doorway and dumped his keys into his pocket. Scanning the room, he took in the blanket lying askew on the couch, a pillow fell onto the floor, and an empty bottle of lemon-lime soda sitting on the counter. Her bag was carelessly tossed across the kitchen table instead of its designated spot by the front door. The coffee table held a bunch of letters spread out and wadded-up tissues. He ambled farther into the room and discovered the sink full of dirty dishes.

Michael’s gaze focused on his ex-wife as she rushed to grab the paperwork from the table. In her haste, a few sheets of paper floated to the floor. He walked toward her and bent to pick them up.

Seattle Health Women’s Center letterhead caught his attention before Lizzy snatched the papers from his hands. Her eyes darted around the room, and she licked her lips nervously.

Michael, I don’t think this is working. You should go. I didn’t know how to tell you⁠—

You’ll need to do better than that. What the hell? We’re getting along great. I’ve gone slower than a snail, to keep from spooking you and making you run again. Something’s going on, and you aren’t telling me the truth. You lied to my friend and now to me. I’m entitled to an explanation. He waited for her to deny it.

Lizzy’s eyes glistened with tears. Yes. You deserve better. The wedding served as a wake-up call. We missed our chance of a happily ever after. I can’t go back to the Lizzy you once knew.

Michael took her in his arms. She held herself stiffly. She gripped the papers in her hand. She refused to meet his gaze. I don’t recall asking you to change. Is this about Conner? Do you resent me for not being there when our son died? his voice carried a worried tone.

Do you honestly think I’d hold you responsible for your kidnapping and missing Conner’s birth? I only wish you met him. He was beautiful, she whispered.

I know. I love the picture of you holding him and keep it in my wallet. If you don’t blame me, then why? We can’t work through it if I don’t know what it is. He watched her facial expressions change.

No. I can’t do this. She shook her head frantically as she began walking toward the door.

Damn it, I’m not losing you again, he growled. His hand shot out and grasped her wrist. The papers in her hand fell to the floor as she tried to escape his touch.

As if his words pained her, she squeezed her eyes tightly. Lizzy clenched her fists and stared rigidly across the room. I need you to leave. We can’t be together anymore. Find someone who can make you happy.

He cupped her face with his hands. You make me happy. It’s you and me, Lizzy Bee, he whispered.

I can’t, Michael. All I can do is bring more misery into our lives and you don’t deserve it, she sobbed.

Don’t I get a say? Why the secrecy? Did you meet someone when you deserted me? Because honestly, I don’t understand where you were or why you left. You become evasive whenever I ask about anything concerning our time apart. I’ve wracked my brain trying to figure out what you aren’t telling me. He didn’t attempt to contain the hurt he felt at her disappearance after their son’s death.

Her eyes dropped to the floor, and she closed them as if he reminded her of the pain they experienced.

Look me in the eyes and tell me you don’t love me anymore and I’ll walk out without another word. But if you care for me even a bit, I want you to tell me the truth. I deserve it. I want it. I went through hell trying to find you after returning home. It crushed me, Lizzy Bee.

Tears fell from her face, smearing her perfectly made-up persona. Lizzy thrived by planning. Laying out her clothes daily and planning her meals a month in advance, she reminded him of a worker bee swarming with ideas. He took her hand and led her to the couch. After searching the disorganized condo, by Lizzy’s standards, for tissues, he finally brought out a roll of toilet paper. Picking up the papers, and setting them beside him, he placed her on his lap.

Is it another man? he asked softly. Afraid if she said yes, he’d lose it, yet he needed to know. His OCD ex-wife seemed off her game, and he wasn’t leaving until he knew the truth. His hand automatically swiped the tear running down her cheek as her eyes remained fixed on the documents.

Lizzy stroked along his jaw as she shook her head. No, there’s no one else.

But you don’t want to see me anymore. What isn’t working? He held the tissue while she blew her nose. He noticed the paleness of her face and the dark circles under her eyes as they flitted to the items beside him.

Michael’s gaze followed hers and landed on the pages. His eyes skimmed over the words and stopped at breast cancer. He swallowed down the lump in his throat as he faced her. Are you sick? His heart raced as he watched her startled eyes meet his.

Her silence confirmed his fear.

Why didn’t you tell me? he murmured.

She rose from his lap and walked across the room. Her hand fiddled with the longer strands of hair on the back of her neck from her pixie cut. I didn’t plan to tell you. I intend to face this alone. I don’t want you to stay, especially now. she whispered as if she didn’t want to say the words aloud.

Michael leaped from the couch and stood in front of her. What did you say?

She raised her face up to his. I can’t be with you because I have breast cancer. I know how it destroyed you when your mom battled it and I refuse to let you suffer through it again. I want you to find someone who can give you everything you deserve. We always seem to have to fight fate to remain together. I realize we fought the inevitable. Her voice sounded determined, but he heard the fear.

Michael shook his head. What type of man leaves his wife when she has cancer? What kind of man do you think I am? They’ve made new advances in breast cancer treatment and research since my mom passed away. What stage? Who’s your oncologist? How long have you known?

She stepped back from him. I’ve given this a lot of thought. I’m not changing my mind. I want you to find someone who can give you children. You’re a pediatrician, don’t tell me you don’t want them.

You can harvest your eggs if we need to. We can adopt kids. It doesn’t matter how we get them. He addressed her excuses.

Lizzy shook her head, determined to make him understand. We can’t stay together, Michael. We’re not married any longer. We aren’t Kassie and Chase, destined to live happily ever after. I don’t want you to experience this with me.

Michael’s jaw ticked as he stared her down. She had already started cementing the wall between them. He saw it in her eyes, in how she held herself.

I’m not leaving you, Lizzy Bee. I know you’re scared. We’ll make an appointment and go over all the options. It may mean only surgery. We’ll get a second opinion. I’m sure Chase has connections, too. His mind raced to consider the oncologists on staff at Seattle Health and who she might see.

It isn’t only surgery. She told him. Her mouth formed into a grim line.

You already met with the oncologist? he asked. Which one?

She shook her head. No. I already have a consultation set up. It’s more complicated than that.

He rubbed her arm gently. You don’t know yet. Don’t think of the worst-case scenario, there’s different⁠—

I know, Michael. Her voice came out deadly quiet.

Of course, you’ve worked in a hospital and I’m sure you have an idea. It always seems worse when you’re the patient. You don’t know⁠—

Yes, I do. I know because I’ve done this before. I found a lump after Conner passed away. I thought I felt a blocked milk duct. When I went in for my six-week follow-up, she ordered a scan, she admitted. We already lost him, and I didn’t know if you lived or died. When they told me they succeeded in rescuing you, I refused to make you witness me go through this after losing our child. I’d rather you hate me than watch me die, she cried.

Michael froze at her words. She fought her first battle with breast cancer alone. Dread ran through him as she appeared resigned to her fate. How long had she known?

He pulled her into his arms as she struggled with the fear and the anxiety bottled up inside. I’m not leaving you. We’re getting our happily ever after, do you hear me? You can push me away, but I’ll be right outside your door every damn day. We’ll get through this together. he whispered.

Her fingers gripped his sides as if he provided her with a lifeline. A sob escaped her as she clung to him. His chin rested on the top of her head as he held her tightly, sharing his strength. His mind raced as he formulated a tentative plan. Lizzy wasn’t fighting this alone. His jaw tightened in determination as he picked her up and carried her to her room.

I’m scared, Michael, she breathed into his neck. I don’t want you to live this all over again.

Shhh, I know you are. I won’t lie to you and tell you I’m not. A piece of paper says we aren’t married but my heart will always belong to you. I refuse to allow you to push me away. We’ll go over everything in the morning. Tonight, I’m holding you and reminding you how strong we are together.

Michael slipped the dress over her head and unfastened her bra. He reached for her nightshirt laying neatly folded under her pillow and held it as Lizzy pulled her arms through the holes. Pulling down the covers, he waited while she climbed in. Undressing silently, he slid into the bed and drew her into the protective shield of his embrace. He’d carry faith for them both because he refused to be in a world where he wasn’t spending his life loving Lizzy.

CHAPTER ONE

Lizzy sat back in her chair at Kassie and Chase’s kitchen table. She held her stomach and blew out a satisfied sigh.

Wow, dinner tasted amazing. Can I get the recipe? she asked.

I’ll email it to you later. Do you feel up to a ride? I want to show you and Michael something. Kassie questioned as she cleared the dishes and took them to the sink.

Let me help you, Lizzy implored.

It’s plates and silverware. My hubby already cleaned the pans. One good thing about marrying someone from the military is they keep everything tidy, her friend quipped.

She smiled. Where did the guys go?

They went out onto the deck. I asked Chase to give me a few minutes alone with you. Kassie took a seat next to her. I’m concerned because you brush off our questions concerning your diagnosis. I know Michael’s worried, and you have an appointment coming up. After your confession when Maddie, Carol, and Victoria staged an intervention to get everyone talking again, we want you to know we plan to support you.

I appreciate it. Honestly, I apologize for my outburst. You, Catherine, and Samantha were working out your differences and I highjacked your meeting. Lizzy refused to meet Kassie’s gaze.

Kassie took her hand and squeezed it. You didn’t do anything wrong. We needed a wake-up call. All of us carried valid points but we took each for granted.

I must’ve sounded incredibly desperate. I don’t need you to feel sorry for me. I’ve gone through this before and will figure it out, Lizzy told her.

Kassie cocked her head to study the woman beside her for a moment. Lizzy stared uneasily at her glass. I’ve thought about this. When Catherine and I worked as nurses under you, you came to events and always stayed outside the groups. As if you attended for politeness rather than true friendship. You work on the mountain now. Michael cares for Em and most of our kids. We consider you part of our extended family. We run our facility differently. It’s not based on politics, money, or profit. We’ve got the legal and administrative stuff handled between Joe, you, and the lawyers. It allows us time to focus on patient care and provide a personalized experience. The staff has a support system. We handle any issues in-house, and I believe they thrive on how we’ve dealt with matters. It leaves you open to have friendships with anyone you choose, including us. I hope you’ll let us in.

Lizzy’s gaze met hers, Thank you.

Let’s get the guys. Emma’s with Nugget and Saint. He offered to bathe her and put her into pajamas while we took you into town. Whiskey’s meeting us. Kassie rose from her chair and grabbed her purse. She waited while Lizzy picked up her things and they went through the kitchen to where the men sat in the corner of the deck overlooking the view.

Walking immediately into her husband’s arms, Kassie rested her head on his shoulder. Lizzy felt Michael watching her as she approached. She made no effort to reach for his hand as she stood beside him.

If you want to follow us down, we’re headed to Samantha’s old place. Whiskey’s waiting for us there, Chase informed the couple.

Michael’s brow lifted slightly at his friend’s statement before he turned and guided Lizzy back through the house and out the front door to their car.

Did you enjoy dinner? He attempted to make small talk.

Yeah. Kassie’s a great cook. She must’ve picked up tips from Maddie. She brings meals over to Catherine and Kassie sometimes. She gazed out the window.

I thought Chase mentioned Maddie brought lunch for everyone a few times, he told her.

I think she includes all of us as a polite gesture. Why do you think Whiskey’s waiting for us?

I’m not entirely sure. Let’s try to keep an open mind. They went out of their way with whatever it is. Michael entered the town, followed Chase’s truck to Samantha’s old house, and parked on the side street.

Kassie jumped out of the vehicle as her husband reached her door. Lizzy almost chuckled as she watched him shake his overprotective head at his self-sufficient spouse. Whiskey stood on the porch of the lovely Victorian home.

Lizzy never visited the house while Samantha lived there. From how the women spoke of the place, she began fixing it up shortly after moving to Serenity.

Whiskey nodded as they drew closer. He greeted them and pulled Kassie into a hug, whispering something in her ear. Chase smiled lovingly down at his wife as she giggled and laughingly pushed him away. Turning to Michael and Lizzy, he said Hello.

Whiskey walked through the front door and the group followed. The smell instantly assailed Lizzy’s nose. A mixture of lavender and citrus filled the air. She scanned the room half in surprise. The solid wood original flooring gleamed from the remaining sunlight streaming through the windows. He waited until they circled into the empty living room before he spoke.

You’re probably wondering why I asked you all here. Samantha gave me this house in our divorce. I suffer from PTSD, and I like it better on the mountain. Kassie told me you might be searching for a house in Serenity and there isn’t much for sale. I’m moving to a different house and renovating it. I haven’t placed this on the market yet and Kassie thought you might want to consider staying here. If you decide you want to purchase it, we can go over those details, but in the meantime, you can rent it and get to know the town a bit better.

Michael glanced in Lizzy’s direction. He walked toward her and took her hand when she stood rooted to the spot. Thank you for considering us, Whiskey. Can we take a moment to check it out?

Take all the time you need. We’re going next door to visit with Jake. Carol moved back to her place and I’m taking him dinner, Kassie assured them.

Michael waited until the door closed. Shall we at least pretend you’re interested in touring the house? They went to all this trouble to help us, he voiced his aggravation with her.

Ever since he’d learned of her diagnosis, Michael hovered around her, and she knew he feared she’d take off again. Guilt plagued her. She knew her actions after their son Conner’s birth seemed irrational to her ex-husband. At the time, it felt like the right thing to do. Now she realized how much hurt she’d caused him. With the looming doctor’s appointment ahead of them, she tried to keep her distance to avoid hurting him further. What if the test results came back and the cancer had spread? She closed her eyes, letting the pain wash through her. They finally found their way back to one another to face the possibility of being separated again.

CHAPTER TWO

Michael watched Lizzy close her eyes. Her long black lashes contrasted against her fair skin. He took her hand and tugged it slightly to get her attention. He refused to let her push him away.

Come on, let’s have a peek, he softly encouraged her.

They walked down the hall and came to the first room. The walls covered with helicopters made Michael smile. He remembered Samantha’s son's fascination with them.

Lizzy opened the closet and glanced out the window as she circled the room. Her face remained passive as she took in the decorative trim on the walls and caressed one of the helos. Michael led her further down until they came to a light lavender-colored room. It even smelled like the herb.

The rooms seem like a good size, he told her.

I don’t think I’ve ever entered a room with a personality. It feels soothing between the faint smell and color, she answered.

He smiled as she opened the closet, now genuinely interested in the room. I like the scent. We can use LJ’s old room as an office for you or me. I think there’s a couple more to choose from.

They walked down the hall and explored the two additional spaces before heading into the bright cheerful kitchen. Michael watched as Lizzy’s gaze focused out the window at the tire swing. Her expression turned sad, and she straightened her shoulders as if she resolved herself into believing the dream of children was nothing more than a fantasy. He refrained from saying anything to her. It didn’t matter how much he argued, instinctively, he knew she already decided to withdraw from him. He steeled himself for the impending fight between the two of them. No matter what Lizzy convinced herself, he planned to stay right beside her.

Michael walked into Samantha’s old salon. Although Lizzy didn’t see the crime scene, he got a glimpse of it when he tended to LJ. He came in with the team to clear out their friend’s products. An involuntary shiver went down his spine before anger took its place. He carried no sympathy for someone who terrorized innocent children and women. The men who died deserved their fate.

Is this where Kassie killed the man who threatened Samantha and the kids? She asked.

Yes, it was self-defense, and she saved all their lives. Victoria taught her. Does it bother you? he replied.

No. Kassie did what she had to do to save her friend and children. I’ve known her since she worked at Seattle Health. She’s one of the most compassionate nurses I know. I can’t believe she built the hospital and the team building, not knowing if Chase would make it home. She shook her head.

It’s called faith, Lizzy. She held on to it for the man she loved. Something in her demanded she fight. Regardless of whether he returned, her family, friends and child needed her. Michael walked closer to her and wrapped his arms around her waist. I’m hoping you realize you have the same people in your life. We’re here for you. Please don’t push me away. I feel you withdrawing, believing you’re protecting me. Darlin’, all you’re succeeding in doing is making this harder for both of us.

Lizzy leaned into him, resting her head on his shoulder. I don’t want to hurt you.

Then don’t do what you’re thinking, he whispered. It killed me when they refused to allow me to travel home from Germany. All I thought about was getting to you. Then I walked into the empty house and found the picture of you and Conner lying on the counter. I saw the spots on the letter where you cried telling me what happened. You do know SIDS isn’t your fault, right? He swiped at the single tear falling down her cheek.

She hesitantly nodded, unable to meet his eyes. He tilted her chin with his forefinger. You ran, Lizzy. I know you thought to spare me the pain of watching you battle breast cancer after my mom’s ordeal. Instead, it felt like you cut my heart out and walked away. I spent days and nights searching for you, worried you suffered from postpartum symptoms and formed a hasty decision. Then you served me divorce papers. To lose Conner, then you, just about killed me, he whispered.

I admit I made a mistake. This is my second diagnosis, what if I end up fighting this over and over? Either way, I decide I hurt you by staying with you, or I die and leave you all over again. I know how hard you took your mom’s suffering and her death. She fought bravely, and it still wasn’t enough, she told him softly.

Taking her hand, he led her to the only chair in the room. He sat down and pulled her into his lap.

Lizzy Bee, listen to me. Regardless of how this turns out, I’m sticking by your side. I’ll stand behind any decision you make regarding your treatment. In return, I get to decide how much I can handle. You don’t get to assume how I feel. All I want from you is a promise. When you want to run, you walk into my arms. When you’re scared, you lean on me. And I’ll vow to always tell you the truth, he negotiated.

What about your practice? Serenity isn’t as big as Seattle. We don’t even see the doctor for another two days and you’re already sacrificing your career, she sighed.

I’m not giving up anything. Kassie offered me a job working in the teen ward. The kids are under the age of eighteen and I overheard Chase asking the guys about finding projects. I don’t know all the specifics, but he hinted that a local construction crew Kassie uses slows down on jobs since it's winter. It might give them an income if someone took over this house and turned this area into a pediatric practice. The way the team’s expanding, I imagine I’ll have a bunch of rug rats to keep me occupied. He smiled.

Lizzy surveyed the room, and he watched as her busy worker bee mind got to work planning the needs of his office.

What about kids? I know you want them, she sadly asked.

Yes. I do. It doesn’t matter how we get them. In my practice, I’ve seen such neglect and abuse, there are children out there who need stability and a place to feel loved. We can provide them with a home and a chance at a better life. We’ll do it together, Lizzy Bee. Let me be here for you, he cajoled.

She sighed. I’m scared. If I allow you to stay, you’ll give up everything to remain by my side.

I’ll give up anything for you if it means you’re with me. While we’re on the subject, I want you to promise me honesty, his voice turned stern. Have you avoided making love with me because you knew I’ll discover your lumpectomy from before? Michael waited as he saw her cheeks redden. Since they’d found each other at Seattle Health when he helped Chase and Leo get Kassie and Emma to safety, Lizzy allowed him to hold and kiss her, but refused to go to bed with him. The only explanation he came up with was she wanted to take things slow.

"You’ll know right away. I’m sorry. I wasn’t honest about it. Between weeks of worrying where you were, if the rebels killed you, and Conner’s sudden death, I didn’t handle the situation adeptly. I went over the last few days wondering what I did wrong. When I went to the doctor and received the first diagnosis of breast cancer, my first thoughts drifted to your mom and you.