The Price of Love: Poetry of a Broken Child

By C. D. Guzman

This book of poetry is based on my life. I am C.D. Guzman, and this was my childhood—crimes, abuse, and heartbreak laid out before you.

In this raw and unflinching collection, I recount the tumultuous journey of growing up under the shadows of addiction, violence, and betrayal. Each poem captures a fragment of my past, turning pain into powerful verses that echo with resilience and honesty. From nights filled with fear to days marked by survival, these poems offer a glimpse into a world where love was often tangled with cruelty.

Through my words, I seek not only to release my past but to offer hope and solidarity to those who have faced similar battles. This book is more than a recounting of my history; it is a testament to the strength of the human spirit and the healing power of self-expression.

Welcome to my story. Welcome to my healing.

• Language: English
• Publisher: C. D. Guzman
• Release date: May 26, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224923212

Book preview

My Childhood

My childhood was rough, to say the least.

Mom, disabled at a young age,

Turned to drugs and abuse,

Her love a distant memory,

Her care lost in a haze of pain.

Dad was different, but not in a better way.

He showed his love through force,

Measured his affection by the crimes we committed.

His love was a test of loyalty,

A twisted gauge of worth.

Mom's struggles consumed her,

Leaving me to navigate the darkness alone.

Her addiction overshadowed her love,

Her abuse a constant reminder of her pain.

Dad's love was conditional,

Earned through acts of defiance and sin.

He judged us not by our hearts,

But by the laws we broke,

The lines we crossed in his name.

In a world where love was twisted,

Where care was buried beneath addiction and crime,

I searched for meaning, for solace,

In a childhood marked by chaos and hurt.

Through it all, I longed for a different kind of love,

One that didn't come with pain or conditions.

But in the shadow of their choices,

I found only heartache and confusion.

Mom's addiction stole her away,

Dad's demands warped our bond.

And in the midst of their turmoil,

I struggled to find myself,

To understand what love truly meant.

My childhood was rough, to say the least,

A journey through shadows and tears.

Yet, in the depths of their broken love,

I learned to seek something more,

A hope for a future free from their chains.

Why Dad?

Why did you leave me, Dad?

Why did you go, leaving me

With a mother who loved the idea of a child

But not the responsibility of having one?

In shadows, you called me son,

Only when I stood beside you,

Breaking the law, defying the world—

Was that the only way to earn your love?

I craved your approval,

But you turned away

When I sought the light,

When I longed for a life that was clean.

Why did you despise my dreams

Of a legal life, a simple life?

Why did you hate the man I wanted to become,

When all I wanted was to be loved for me?

Your absence is a scar,

A wound that never heals.

You left me with questions

That echo in the silence of my nights.

Did you ever love me, Dad?

Or was I just a partner in your crimes?

Why did you leave me,

To navigate this world alone?