Hidden Desires

By Kerry Kennedy

When Bradley and Troy meet for the first time, it is an insta attraction that is so powerful, it leaves both men breathless, their hearts racing and sparks flying. Only Troy is married. He has been living a lie for the last ten years and now Bradley is on the scene he must face challenges and come to terms with the direction and path he wants his life to go. Only, he doesn't want to destroy Melissa's life either his faithful, loving wife of ten years who is talking about having a baby. 

Bradley can't believe his feelings and how quick he has fallen for the handsome, rugged Troy. He wants him and feels like a High School teenager all over again, but he knows Troy is married and he doesn't do married men.

This is a beautiful and heartfelt book about two men navigating their feelings and emotions for one another within a small, tight knit community in Rochendale. Will these two be able to overcome their feelings or will they decide to take a grip of their lives and deal with the challenges they face and will Troy finally come clean with Melissa and tell her how he feels about Bradley.

A woven tale of love, friendship and true feelings set in the small town of Richendale, UK where everyone knows everyone's business and Gossip is always the order of the day.

 

• Language: English
• Publisher: Kerry Kennedy
• Release date: Jun 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227326560

Kerry Kennedy

Kerry is a multi genre author currently living in Spain and hailing from the UK. Five years ago she and her partner made a life decision to move to warmer climates and to be close to the mountains they climb.  An avid writer and reader, you will usually find her with a book in her hand.  Her pleasurable activities include rock climbing, hiking in the Prades mountains, biking along the trails of Catalonia with stunning mountain backdrops and of course drinking too much coffee. She lives with her partner, four cats and her chihuahua. 

Book preview

Chapter One

Bradley

We’re having a get together at the pub tonight, the new one that’s just opened across the road, will you join us? Donna wetted her lips and pouted. She tossed her luscious dark hair over her shoulders, drew her shoulders back and pushed her breasts out.

Bradley looked up from his laptop, a frown stretching across his tanned forehead. Donna, I’ve actually got a lot of work to get through and will be working late. I’m not sure I can drag myself away. He smiled politely, he knew she had the hots for him in such a bad way but she just wasn’t his type. How could he tell her, how could he tell anyone? It was his secret and one that had been a burden since he could first recall knowing, when he was just fourteen years of age.

You work too hard, Brad. His assistant told him. All she wanted was to get him to the pub so she could lace him with a few glasses of wine and hopefully into her bedroom that evening. She’d never had any issues getting any man into her bedroom before. But Brad, well he was just a different story entirely.

You need to loosen up a little bit, she now perched herself on his pristine, paperless white desk and crossed her legs, exposing rather more flesh than he’d have liked. Didn’t the woman realise she was his assistant and this was not very assistant behaviour? She was making him uncomfortable and hot under the collar, and not in that kind of way.

You know we’ve got to get this tender out before the end of the week, Donna. I’ve got a mountain of work to do. Look you take yourself off and go and have a nice time with the gang. He shot her a look, his startling emerald eyes meaning business not nonsense, that clearly indicated, get off my desk and act like an assistant not a come-on girl.

Donna slipped easily off the desk, what she really wanted to do was pull him by his shirt collar and place her lips right smack on his full lips. What she wouldn’t give to have lips like his, they were full and everything about them said, kiss me long and hard.

She eased down her red pencil skirt and placed her hands on her hips, pushing her enhanced-with-surgery breasts out even further. Brad couldn’t miss that they looked strained against her white kitten bow shirt and that they could pop out at any minute. I wish she’d just bugger off.

It will be your loss, we’re all looking forward to a really good time Brad and it’d have done the gang good to see your face there for a change. She insisted. Licked her lips again for full measure, well don’t work too hard okay. There’s always tomorrow. But seriously boss, you really need to get out more. With that she turned on her skyscraper heels leaving him with his hand in his heads. 

Sometimes it was a heavy burden to carry but one that he had no choice about. One day he would come clean, but for now, well for now he just couldn’t. He had too many issues inside, still after all these years.

At thirty-two, he’d carried his secret around with him for the best part of eighteen-years. What will everyone think of me? I’ve built this business up from scratch and they’ll all desert me. He sighed heavily with the weight of the world on his shoulders and stared at the two monitors in front of him.

He had to get this tender out and quick sharpish, yes he had until the end of the week, but the customer wanted it yesterday and deliver he would.

It had taken a lot of cajoling his parents to lend him the money to start up his own house renovation business. It’d been a hell of a risk with so much competition out there and every Tom, Dick and Harry deciding that reforming properties was the next best thing.

However, Bradley, or Brad to his parents and employees wasn’t going after small properties, no, he wanted to go big and big he did go. He set about finding old and derelict properties, ones that had once been grand, stupendous, and left to become ruins because the once rich families and heirs could no longer afford to keep, run or maintain them. And this is where Brad was able to come in and buy them at bargain basement price and spend the time on creating some amazing transformations.

It didn’t take long for word to get out and about; resulting in his social media presence taking off like hot cakes. Before he knew it, he was on his sixth reform project and had customers as far and wide as Europe and the Americas. The Americans loved the fact that they could buy an old English country manor and estate, lord it up, and to boot, buy a title. Oh, he was on a winner yet remained modest throughout.

He’d often be on site with his crew and would be seen with his shirt sleeves rolled up and sweat trickling down his body.

Are you sure about this Brad? His father had asked him when he first approached his parents with his idea some ten years ago. I’m sure dad, absolutely sure. Trust me it’s going to be a winner.

It’s a lot of money son. I mean you’re asking us to give up practically half our life’s savings. His dad had always been a shrewd businessman and money hadn’t been easy for him to come by. Brad a then young twenty-two year old, fresh out of uni with a business degree, was raring to go. He’d been doing his homework on this for the entire duration of his studies, he was sure it was going to be a winner.

His father had peered at him over his thin, wire rimmed spectacles as they slid down his nose, well, we don’t doubt you do we Maria? His wife nodded, she believed in her son and his passion and energy for this idea made her feel that it would be an enterprise one day and that Brad couldn’t go wrong.

We don’t doubt him not at all, Antonio. Let’s do it. We have enough money from the bakery business and what else are we going to do with it all? Let’s face it, we’ve probably only got another thirty years on this planet or so, let’s invest in our son. Her head bobbed up and down enthusiastically, her red curls bounced up and down and Brad wanted to run over to her and throw his arms around his ever-doting mother.

You two, he was so choked up, that the words almost couldn’t spill out, are the best. He gave them a bear hug and kissed both of them. Thank you. I promise I won’t let you down.

Chapter Two

Troy

Are you listening to me honey? Troy could hear the lilting soft voice of his wife Melissa. He had been so lost in thought that in fact he hadn’t heard her at all. Sorrow was bubbling away in the pit of his stomach. He knew he was going to have to come out and face the music very soon.

Sorry, what did you say Mel? She wasn’t impressed, half the time she felt as if she was just talking to a brick wall. Then what did she expect?Ttheir marriage of five years was slowly going downhill and at thirty-two, she still wasn’t pregnant and her hormones were all over the place, it had become more than a minor obsession.

I said we need to try tonight it’s my best time of the month. Her hands were on her slender hips. Troy shuddered inwardly, not quite the reaction most men would be having when faced with a very beautiful woman in front of them, practically telling them that tonight was sex night.

Right. Was all he could offer her, knowing he’d have to come up with yet another excuse. Troy had to come clean with her, ten years was a very long time to have stayed and ten years too long. I have to work late tonight. He said matter of factly.

Melissa shot him a look, her green and hazel flecked eyes pierced right through him. She pulled her flaming red hair up into a ponytail took the hair tie off her left wrist and fastened her mane. All of a sudden you have to work late, is that so? Her Irish temper now coming to the fore. And the last time you’d forgotten how you had a lad’s night out, and the time before that, she sighed. Pointless, it is just pointless. I thought we were going to try for a baby, I suppose not.

Mel it’s not like that I swear. I want you to have a baby, I really do. I want whatever is best for you from the bottom of my heart. You know I do. Troy sat still on the sofa; only his hands moved as he clasped them together and let them hang between his long, slender legs encased in black denim jeans.

Melissa looked at her husband of ten years, he was a beautiful man. He had full lips, blonde hair that curled around the nape of his neck and set off his baby blue eyes remarkably. He was would you’d call a very gorgeous man, he’d not go amiss on a Californian beach advert.

Her bottom lip quivered, she was not going to cry, not today, not at all costs. I have to get to work, she said and turned her back on him leaving him sitting on the sofa with tears in his eyes.

I’m not going to keep doing this, she said with her back to him as she grabbed her black handbag from the back of one of the dining room chairs. I want children Troy; it’s as simple as that. If you won’t have them with me, well then we need to have a rethink on this whole marriage.

He knew that would be coming, they’d not had any close contact now for practically six months. And when they had, it had been a disaster. Troy just couldn’t face lying to her or himself anymore. I know you do, his voice was just a whisper. Mel’s heart felt like it was going to break in two. He was the only man for her. THE only man.

From the moment he’d come into her salon to have his curls trimmed, she had been insanely head over heels for him. Her best friend at the salon, Trisha had teased her mercilessly over her crush on Troy. Leave it out, Mel had said, he won’t be interested in an Irish girl like me, you know his type. They’re all about tall, beautiful girls with long blonde hair, those Californian beach babe types.

Be away with you for goodness sake, Mel. Don’t you realise how beautiful you are with all that luscious red hair, freckles in the right places and those glittering green eyes of yours? Not to mention that bone structure, blimey half the girls in the world would give anything to have cheekbones like yours.

Well I still don’t think he’s going to be interested to be perfectly honest. But you know I’ll still try. They both giggled like schoolgirls with their first crushes and try Melissa did.

It had only taken her four visits from Troy to the salon over the space of six months to ask him out on a first date. Troy was reluctant to start with; he had totally disregarded all her come-ons and wondered if going down this route with her was the right thing to do.

He had all his friends and his mother, Violet hassling him to make an honest woman out of some poor girl and start producing those babies. Troy on the other hand was at a total loss, he was at a cross roads in his young life at then being only twenty-seven. He didn’t want to settle down particularly, he didn’t even know truly, what he wanted. But with all the peer pressure and the constant nagging from his mother, he wondered if maybe this was what he needed. Maybe it will tell me what direction to really take. I’m probably just totally mixed up and... no it was no good, Troy knew deep down and what he’d done by marrying Mel was the wrong thing to have done.

I want grandchildren Troy, when I’m still young enough to enjoy them. Not when I’m about seventy. What use will I be then as a grandma?

I know mum, I know. It’s just that.... He never finished his sentence, it would break her heart. It would have broken his father’s heart too if he’d still been alive but he’d died when Troy was seventeen, of a heart attack. One minute he was there and the next he wasn’t.

It had sent Troy over the edge, he dropped his grades at school, stopped going in to school regularly and took up smoking and hanging with the wrong boys.

I’ll see you tonight. He heard Melissa say as she swept the bag over her shoulder and walked through the dining room to the hall that took her to their front door. She placed her hand on the brass door handle and took one last glance over her shoulder; her heart ached as she watched him sitting on the sofa like a lost child. His beautiful blue eyes sorrowful, his mouth sad and his head hanging low. The desire to run over and hold him as tight as she could fled through her like a tsunami, but she had to be strong. If she gave in now and didn’t stick to her point, another five years could go by and they’d still be childless.

Instead, she breathed in and tried to remain strong, see you tonight babe, she whispered trying not to cry. She wanted him, she wanted him forever to be by her side. Giving up Troy to be with someone who would be happy to have children with her, would be the hardest thing she’d ever have to do. It was making her feel physically sick; I need to get out of here right now before I cave in.

The door closed quietly behind her. Troy leant back on the sofa, rested his beautiful head on the back of it, and stared at the ceiling, willing for the tears not to come. He had to be on site in not too long, he was about to start on a new house reform project and his crew had been asked to come in. He didn’t have time to sit there and wallow in self-pity; he should have done something about this all a long time ago.

Troy knew he had been wrong to take Melissa up on her offer to have drinks out that first night, and he knew he’d been very wrong to continue seeing her. The first night they’d had sex after a month of dating, he hadn’t been able to completely live with himself. He’d felt a whole mix of emotions but dismissed it telling himself that it would be fine, it would all work out well, he just had to relax and everything would be okay.

Only now, as he sat there, half an hour before he needed to be on site, he realised like a severe slap in the face, that he had been wrong to take it as far as he had.

His mobile rang, he reached for it off the large, pine square table and pressed accept. Hi boss, just checking we’re still all set for this morning. His first hand guy, Andrew was always spot on with detail and organisation and also a really good man to have around. He always made sure that everything ran smoothly and when Troy did go on a bender, which sometimes he was known to do, Andrew would be there to pick him up and make sure he’d get home safely to a livid Melissa.

I’ll be there in twenty. Troy replied, raking his left hand through his soft hair, he had to get a wriggle on right now.

See you soon; we’ll all be waiting for you. Be good to start on this project, it’s a big ‘un. Andrew hung up, as did Troy. He stood up, his six-foot frame filling the small living space, and placed his mobile in his left back pocket. It was time to get this show on the road and meet this Bradley fella on-site.

Chapter Three

It was quarter past eight on a chilly February morning; Bradley checked his watch for the umpteenth time. It wasn’t that the new crew were late; it was just that he was over-punctual. He heard the sound of tyres crunching on gravel and turned around. That must be them now. He smiled; he was ready to start this project. They were taking an old silo barn and making it into a large open plan, barn conversion. By the time they were finished with it, the property would be worth close on a million pounds. That was enough to fill anyone with excitement.

He watched as the sleek black Range Rover pulled up alongside his black Jaguar and saw as Troy turned off the engine and got out. Something jolted inside Bradley; he took in the tall lean man before him noticing his sun-kissed blonde hair and baby blue eyes. He strode forward to greet him. Hi, Bradley. He said simply and extended his hand.

Troy held out his hand and placed it firmly in Bradley’s. A shot of lightning went straight up his arm through his hand. They both felt it, Hi Bradley, Troy. He offered as they still held each other’s hands. Clearly aware that he was almost fawning. Troy took his hand back and tried to prize his eyes away from the arresting green eyes of Bradley. You can call me Brad, everyone around here does. He broke the uncomfortable silence and glanced down at Troy’s left hand noticing the platinum wedding band.

Let me show you around. When is the rest of your crew arriving?

They should be along any minute.  I spoke to my foreman, Andrew about fifteen minutes ago.

Perfect, come on then let’s head inside. Bradley led the way and it was all Troy could do, to keep his eyes of Bradley’s backside. He noticed it was tight and the man clearly worked out, he looked like he had buns of steel as he strode purposely towards the old silo barn, in his navy denims and brown work boots he had changed into when he’d arrived.

Bradley pulled his Barbour jacket closer round himself; it was bitter and freezing cold. How old is this place? Asked Troy as he marched behind him along the gravel towards the front door hanging off its hinges. About a hundred and fifty years. You’ve seen the blueprints for the refurb?

Yes, your assistant, Donna sent them over a week ago. We’ve taken a good look at them and I’ve organised the crew, materials and everything we need to make a start today.

Bradley turned and smiled. Troy’s heart lurched. This is bordering on ridiculous, what is going on? Troy shook his head, this wasn’t right or maybe it was. For now he had to focus on the conversation and the property. It was going to be one hell of a mammoth job to turn this place around and they were under a tight deadline. Bradley wanted it on the market in just under nine months, almost as long as it took to carry a child full-term. Thinking about that took him back to Mel and her sad face as he’d left the house this morning.

If Troy could have turned back the clock and saved her all this pain and the heartbreak of what she was now going through and would have to go through, and he himself, well then he would. But alas, he couldn’t. No one can turn back time.

Bradley glanced over his shoulder, Troy had gone quiet. Well in you come. He opened the makeshift wooden door and stepped aside to allow for Troy to enter. As he walked through, Bradley caught his fragrance; it filled his senses with hints of cinnamon. He inhaled, he felt heady. He had to get a grip right now. Any minute a bunch of guys were going to turn up. What he’d been hiding for so many years couldn’t come to the surface, not today, not yesterday and not any day.

His father would kill him if he were ever to find out. Bradley lost himself in his own world for a few minutes as he allowed himself to think about his dad and his strict principles and his ageist ways. When his mother had been around, at least there had been someone to take him to task. After his mother Emily had diedd of a long battle with cancer, just four years ago, it had torn the family apart. Now his father ranted and raved about everything and anything and basically, how the world was changing and not for the better. Boys running around in dresses and changing their dicks for pussies, well I never. He had shot at Bradley not that long ago.

Dad you really ought to keep your opinions to yourself. Bradley had told him one Saturday afternoon as he was helping his father out in the bakery. It was as usual a very chaotic morning, business was always thriving and on Saturday’s the bakery was always rammed. It was the only place you could get authentic Italian pastries from. His father, Antonio had come to the UK many years ago as a young boy himself with his parents, who’d first started Antonio’s Panetteria. It was always filled with the finest of the finest delicious, melt in your mouth pastries to the best baguettes and loaves of bread you could find in the south of England. That was their claim in any case.

Their competitors, who had a bakery in the same old English village of Richendale in Suffolk, claimed that theirs was simply the best. Emily had believed there was enough room for both of them in the small old market town, one offered Italian and Violet and her husband, Charles before he had passed away so young, were a traditional English bakery-vintage teashop.

Needless to say, over the many years since both opened their doors back in the sixties, competition between the two was always fierce. Antonio was a hot-headed Italian and Charles had been a hot-headed Englishman. It wasn’t uncommon to see them both avoid each other on the street, or totally ignoring each other on their daily morning waiting at the local newsagent for their paper.

Such was the feud that the two boys, Bradley and Troy didn’t even know one or the other existed. Bradley had gone to a private school and Troy had continued at the comprehensive school in the next town and left as soon as he had managed to scrape by his GCSE’s. He wasn’t stupid far from it, but it was money he wanted to earn not have to pay back after some university course.

He was hungry to earn money but not to go into the family business. It’s not for me dad, mum. He’d explained. I want to get out there and create things, build houses, there’s good money it in nowadays.

You’ll be a hod carrier mark my words. Charles had told him not long before he had died.

Troy came back to the moment and shook his head. Too many memories were flooding his head today and he didn’t want to come across as unprofessional. He could see from the smart attire of Bradley, the expensive watch and jacket, that he clearly was well to-do. Probably been to some upmarket school and university.

Bradley stood in the vast space and looked at Troy. So what do you think?

I can see it’s going to be a fantastic property once we’ve finished with it. The ceilings are really high and the beams, they look sound from down here. Of course we’ll need to get up to them and take a proper look and see what does if at all, need replacing. Todd craned his neck to take in the beautiful beams; he could see clearly the potential this old silo barn had for being an exclusive barn conversion with mezzanine, cinema room and four large bedrooms.

So you’ve seen from the plans, we want to have an open plan living space down here. A large area for the kitchen with an island and the dining room off it, and then over there in that area, Bradley pointed to the left far corner of the barn. Troy couldn’t stop looking at his perfectly formed hands and elegant long fingers. Clearly, he has manicures. That we want to install the fire place with back boiler as it’ll afford the heating throughout. Although I am thinking we should put in some underfloor hearting.

That makes sense, it’s a very large space and you will want to ensure that it’s comfortable and warm. The winters here in the UK can be extremely bitter. Added Troy, finding it really difficult to take his eyes of Bradley.

Sorry I’m a bit late. Andrew had finally joined them. "I got held up on