Echoes from My Ancestors

By Grozdana Lukic

Uncover the forgotten whispers of your past and embark on a transformative journey of self-discovery in Echoes from My Ancestors. This captivating memoir weaves together the untold stories of a resilient family across generations, leaving an indelible mark on your heart and soul.

As you turn each page, you’ll be transported to the early 20th century Northern Dalmatian villages, where the echoes of hardship and foreign occupation resonate through the lives of the author’s ancestors. From the remarkable strength of her great-great grandmother, Kosa, to the steadfast love of her grandparents Stoja and Luka, their tales of survival and resilience illuminate the extraordinary power of the human spirit.

But this isn’t just a story of the past. It’s a mirror that reflects your own journey of self-discovery. Through the author’s personal quest to unravel her identity and purpose, you’ll be inspired to embark on your own introspective odyssey. Each revelation and realization will prompt you to examine your own roots, heritage, and the untapped potential within you.

With every chapter, Echoes from My Ancestors beckons you to embrace your own story. It celebrates the beauty of cultural heritage, illuminates the threads that bind us to our ancestors, and reminds us that our pasts are not mere footnotes, but the foundation upon which our future is built. Discover the power of your own ancestral narrative and reclaim your place in the tapestry of history.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Austin Macauley Publishers
• Release date: Jun 21, 2024
• ISBN: 9781035838165

Grozdana Lukic

Grozdana Lukic comes from Benkovac, Croatia, and in 1997, she embarked on a new life in Melbourne, Australia, alongside her parents and two brothers. After pursuing her studies at RMIT University, where she obtained a degree in Social Science, Grozdana dedicated herself to assisting newly arrived refugees in their resettlement process. In 2017, Grozdana transitioned to a role within the justice system, where she now focuses on case managing complex offenders. Her dedication to this challenging field highlights her commitment to fostering a fair and just society. Supported by her loving husband, Lui, Grozdana finds joy and fulfillment in being a proud mother to her three wonderful children: Milan, Leilani, and Tina.

Book preview

About the Author

Grozdana Lukic comes from Benkovac, Croatia, and in 1997, she embarked on a new life in Melbourne, Australia, alongside her parents and two brothers.

After pursuing her studies at RMIT University, where she obtained a degree in Social Science, Grozdana dedicated herself to assisting newly arrived refugees in their resettlement process.

In 2017, Grozdana transitioned to a role within the justice system, where she now focuses on case managing complex offenders.

Her dedication to this challenging field highlights her commitment to fostering a fair and just society.

Supported by her loving husband, Lui, Grozdana finds joy and fulfillment in being a proud mother to her three wonderful children: Milan, Leilani and Tina.

Dedication

To my ancestors, whose stories were etched into the fabric of time, I dedicate this book. Your struggles, triumphs, and unwavering resilience have shaped me in ways I am still discovering. Through your voices, I have found my own.

To my family, whose love and support have carried me through every step of this journey, thank you for being my anchor. Your unwavering belief in me has given me the courage to delve deep into the depths of our shared history.

To every reader who embarks on this transformative odyssey, may these pages ignite a spark within you. May you uncover the forgotten whispers of your own past, embrace the power of your heritage, and embark on your own journey of self-discovery.

And finally, to the future generations, may you inherit the echoes of our stories, may you cherish the legacy we leave behind, and may you continue to weave new tales that enrich the tapestry of our collective history.

This book is dedicated to all those who seek to understand the past, discover their true selves, and find solace in the enduring power of family.

Copyright Information ©

Grozdana Lukic 2024

The right of Grozdana Lukic to be identified as author of this work has been asserted by the author in accordance with sections 77 and 78 of the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988.

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior permission of the publishers.

Any person who commits any unauthorised act in relation to this publication may be liable to criminal prosecution and civil claims for damages.

The story, experiences, and words are the author’s alone.

A CIP catalogue record for this title is available from the British Library.

ISBN 9781035838158 (Paperback)

ISBN 9781035838165 (ePub e-book)

www.austinmacauley.com

First Published 2024

Austin Macauley Publishers Ltd®

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Canary Wharf

London

E14 5AA

Part 1

Chapter I

Should I tell their story? If I don’t, who else could do it? Who else knows about their small but remarkable lives? I will tell their story, and maybe once I do, I will also find long-awaited peace. This story is about people I come from; my ancestors who lived in another time, so remote from here as if it was on another planet, unknown to the children of today. I can hear their cries so clearly as if now, here with me as if they are not ready to let go of this tempting world of ours. The true stories can be heartbreaking as the reader knows what is written happened in real life.

This story is a true story, but don’t have a heavy heart, know that these people proudly carried their struggles and that they never gave up, no matter what or who faced them. I heard once someone say, We stand on the shoulders of our ancestors. This might have been a proverb from somewhere deep in Africa. By knowing the ones who came before us, we get to know ourselves better too. It worked for me; it really did.

I am Kristina and I was 9 years old when I heard parts of this story for the first time. I am glad I was told their story so that I can carry it forward in my heart and by doing that, honour those before me. You might think 9 years old is too young to hear such a story, but it was fine, it only made me stronger, more resilient, and prepared me for what will come later, in my life, to give me strength so that I can also survive.

The one who hasn’t loved hasn’t lived, they say where Kosa comes from. And where is that you wonder? I will tell you if you stay patient and if you care to hear this story. So, it began in the year 1904 when Kosa was married. Only 16 years old but already getting married. A small and modest wedding ceremony was held in the village in the northern Dalmatia, some 10km away from the coast of the blue Adriatic Sea. This region is known for its natural beauty, with forests, mountains, rivers, and is sparsely populated.

The most important industry is agriculture where many families have lived off the land for generations. The way of life in the hinterland is simpler and more traditional and people are known to be friendly and welcoming. This part of the world, or northern Dalmatia to be more precise, at the beginning of the twentieth century was a rugged and untamed frontier, much like a wild stallion that refused to be tamed. The rocky cliffs and deep inlets of the Adriatic coast created a natural barrier to the outside world, leaving this region shrouded in mystery.

The people who lived here were hardy, proud, and fiercely independent, much like the land they called home. Life was a constant struggle against the elements, but the rewards were rich, from the bountiful sea to the fertile soil that produced crops of all varieties. This was a place where the land and the people were intertwined, each giving the other strength and vitality. To be part of the northern Dalmatia in the early twentieth century was to be part of something truly wild and beautiful, something that defies description, but could only be experienced.

There were only roughly twenty people present at Kosa’s father’s house when the groom arrived with his closest. Kosa wore traditional clothing, with a white head scarf covering her beautiful brown hair. All was done according to the customs of this region when uniting two young once in an eternal union. Music was heard from the small, made of stone home, music which came from few modest instruments. Song was heard too, sang in tune by group of men. In autumn, this place is very colourful with beautiful warm colours surrounding your view.

The land was transitioning towards the winter and young ones were uniting in marriages. Weddings in this part of the world were simple, traditional, and typically held in autumn, as it was considered to be the most auspicious time for a union. Such was the life in the Croatian hinterlands at the beginning of the twentieth century.

There was a sight of poverty and of lack of so many necessary things. The homes were made of stone, maybe because there were more than enough stones in supply in this rugged land covered with grey and white stones of various shapes and sizes. In the middle of the home was an open fire where food was cooked. Inside this modest room, there was a lot of smoke which soaked deeply into the clothes and skin of those who lived there. If you looked up, you could see prosciuttos hanging from the wooden boards and drying in the smoke to be eaten during the winter.

Kosa was a beautiful young girl with dark brown hair and eyes. Her pale skin stood in contrast to her dark features, giving her an ethereal appearance. She was shorter than average women and average built. She came from an orthodox Serbian family living in Croatia, a land which was a part of the Austrian empire at the time. Her family decided to give her away to Ivan from a nearby village.

Ivan was a Croatian Catholic man who owned enough land to feed five families. That is why Kosa’s father saw it fit to give his beautiful daughter to him, regardless of the religious differences. The only important thing was to survive and have enough food to feed your loved ones. Religion was put aside because survival took precedence. What is the use of religion if your stomach is empty, and Ivan could not be matched by any other local man?

Ivan saw Kosa when he visited this village with some friends, she was by the road looking after her sheep. She caught his attention. It was her beauty that was noticed by him, he thought, and he asked about her to find out if she was available. He found out she was 5 years younger than him and not promised to anyone at the time. This was good news for Ivan. Without ever exchanging a word with her, he approached her father to ask for her hand hopping secretly that he would be accepted.

Kosa’s father was honoured that Ivan wanted to marry his daughter and did not hesitate to give her away. He was sure his daughter would not go hungry in this forsaken land. She will have a good life, he was convinced. But did she love Ivan? That we do not know for sure. He was older than her by 5 years and a handsome young man. Ivan was taller than average men with dark brown almost black curly hair and broad strong shoulders. He had a handsome and strong built, probably due to working hard on his farm. He was a man of few words, but he seemed kind and genuine in his promise to take care of Kosa.

Perhaps she did love him secretly, we don’t know for sure, we only know she did not object to the marriage but instead left eagerly. Was it love or hunger or combination of both? The marriage between Kosa and Ivan, who came from different cultural and religious backgrounds, would have been a challenging one. But it was common practise in that time and place for families to arrange marriages for financial and social benefits.

On the horse drawn cart, Kosa travelled to her new home, the village where she would live for the rest of her life. It was another small village, but much closer to the sea, only 6km away. Ivan talked to her on the way and told her the reason for their marriage. He had to marry earlier than he planned because his mother was accidentally killed by his neighbour. He and his brother, Petar, we left alone with no woman to look after them. The land was vast and needed all the work and care throughout the year.

He told her that she would not need to work hard on the farm but mainly at home to cook food, wash clothes and look after the animals. He promised to take care of her. She said nothing, feeling shy and overwhelmed. Tears were falling down her cheeks as she listened whilst her head was turned back to look at her home village, where she spent 16 years of her life. She was leaving behind her family, friends, and everything she knew to start a new life with a man she barely knew. She felt mix of emotions, sadness for leaving her past behind, fear for the unknown future, and hope that things would work out for the better.

Sadness was in her heart because she was leaving her birth home, knowing she would never return there permanently. She might visit as a guest, but after marrying, she would never be allowed to return as a resident. This was the custom; once a woman left her father’s home, she belonged to her husband, and he could do with her as he saw fit. Was she scared? Perhaps. She felt like a piece of property that was being given away, but at the same time, she was also given an opportunity to build her own home and start a new family.

She knew that marriage would bring its own set of challenges, but she also knew it would bring the chance to form new bonds and create a life of her own. She didn’t know what the future held but she hoped the things would work out for the best.

Although, Ivan saw Kosa before she knew about him and liked her a lot, for him, it was love at first sight, but for her, it was an arranged marriage as her father bargained for her without any input from her. Their relationship from the start was built on mutual respect and a sense of duty to one another. Ivan had a deep sense of responsibility for his family and their land, and he knew that he needed a wife to help him take care of it. Kosa, on the other hand, came from a humble background and knew that marriage would provide her with a better life and the opportunity to start a family of her own.

At first, their relationship was one of politeness and formality. Ivan was reserved and Kosa was shy, but as they spent more time together, they began to open up to each other. Ivan would tell Kosa about his dreams for the future of their farm and the life they would build together. Kosa, in turn, would tell Ivan about her life before marriage, her family, and her culture. Ivan was fascinated by Kosa’s stories about her customs and would listen intently.

They would also work together in the farm; Ivan showed her how to tend to the animals and Kosa learned quickly. They began to form a connection based on mutual trust, respect and understanding.

The new life still needed getting used to and she was still so young. It’s hard, there are so many responsibilities, and the work never ends. But it is ok because she now thinks she is happy and in love. Ivan was good to her and looked after her the best he could. As they grew to understand and care for one another, the love began to blossom. Ivan began to see Kosa as more than just a wife, but as a partner in companion. Kosa, in turn, began to see Ivan as more than just a husband, but as a friend and protector. They would laugh and joke together, and Ivan would often surprise Kosa with small gifts and kind gestures.

Ivan’s brother, Petar, has also married and built a family of his own. And life goes on in this small and isolated village called Kakma. Kosa gets used to her new life and is happy with Ivan; he truly loves her and looks after her. But as time passed, he grew increasingly unhappy that she was not getting pregnant after being married for a whole year. She blamed herself and suffered deeply inside. When she was alone, she prayed to God to give her a child so that her husband could smile again and so that she could make him proud.

Ivan’s disappointment was palpable, and Kosa could see the sadness in his eyes. He never voiced his disappointment directly but she could tell that he was disappointed. The pressure weight heavily on Kosa and she felt guilty for not being able to provide Ivan with the children he wanted. She knew that in their society, a woman’s worth was often measured by her ability to bear children.

Kosa tried to hide her sadness, but Ivan could tell that something was wrong. He would often ask her if she was ok but she would always brush it off, not wanting to burden him with her problems. Still, Ivan was perceptive and knew that Kosa was going through something. He would often comfort her and tell her that they would have children when the time was right and that they should not put pressure on themselves. But deep inside, Kosa knew that Ivan’s disappointment was growing and she couldn’t shake off the feeling that she was letting him down.

When Kosa was close to 18 years old, she finally fell pregnant. This news brings joy to the house and Ivan cannot hide his happiness. Pregnancy does not come easy to Kosa and she struggles a lot with work and all the responsibilities from the early mornings to late at night. But she keeps pushing through without complaints because she does not want to make Ivan worried. Several months into the pregnancy, she notices she is bleeding. She gets very scared as she does not want to lose this much awaited baby, but things improve and bleeding stops. She feels pain all the time but she cannot give up or share this pain with anyone.

It has to stay deep inside her and she has to be very strong. She sees other women in the village getting pregnant easily and giving birth, but something is not quite right with her. Regardless, there is no giving up in this cruel and unforgiving land. The fear sets in; what if she can’t do it like other women? What if Ivan chases her back to her father’s home? That would be worse than death itself, she thinks. Ivan could give up on her and find another woman to be his wife. He is a wealthy man in this world and he can do what he sees fit.

Kosa has no say in anything but only can hold onto her prayers that Ivan would not do that to her.

Ivan suspects things are not quite right, but same as her, he doesn’t want to talk about it because deep down, he is very afraid. His love for her is genuine and deep and he tries to best of his abilities to be there for her, especially when others don’t see because he cannot be seen as ‘weak’ but needs to stay in charge and be very strict with his wife in front of the others. Kosa understands this and accepts the love she can get even if she has to wait for it for a long time. When you don’t know any better, you accept what you have and look for small moments which make this life.

Kosa thinks, compared to other women, she is very lucky because Ivan does not hurt her and he is not an angry man. He drinks in rare moments when he is not working but he is not violent and he does not drink too much. On the contrary, in those rare moments, he is even better to her as he relaxes and gives her a hug and kiss, and tells her how beautiful and special she is to him. As if the alcohol removes the mask he carries around for others to see and shows her his true heart and feelings.

When they sit next to the fire, he kisses her stomach and talks to the baby hoping for a son. Kosa tells him she is praying it’s a son because she knows this would make him very happy.

He tells her about the first time when he saw her and how he fell in love at first sight. She smiles listening to this as if the most beautiful music to her ears. In those rare moments when they are finally alone and sitting next to the fire in a warm house, she tells him what he likes to hear and he smiles. Life without Kosa would not be a life at all, he pours his heart out to her. There is only one woman in his heart and it is her, from now to the eternity he promises. May God grant them long life together; may they always be this happy. You might think they lack so much but don’t worry, their hearts are full and they lack for nothing.

In the summer of 1906, Kosa gave birth to a healthy boy. They named him Nikola. Ivan is overjoyed he has a son. He now had a descendant who would continue his family line and take over the lands after him. The birth of Nikola brought a lot of joy to the household as the baby’s cries filled the house. Kosa felt redeemed as she was finally able to give Ivan the child he had wanted. Her husband was filled with pride and he was happy to have a son to raise and guide. The arrival of Nikola brought a new sense of purpose to the family.

Ivan was dedicated to providing for his new son and Kosa was determined to give him the best life possible. They were both overjoyed to finally have a child of their own, and they were filled with love and affection for their little boy.

Having waited for this child for two years, Kosa spoils him so much. Ivan does not like that but he is working all the time and when at home briefly, he is tired. The work never ends; only in winter they have a bit of a break but as soon as springs nears the farm calls and the lands need to be worked on. There are animals too, from horses, pigs, goats, and chickens. They keep pushing forward as best as they can and enjoy what life can offer.

Years are now passing by and Kosa is again not pregnant. She wants another child but it’s not happening. Thoughts pass through her mind that maybe it was done for her, and she would not have any more children. As long as she has a son, it is fine, he will marry in the future and bring a wife to the house, his wife could be like another child to her and they can all live together and happy. She thinks as long as she has a son it will all be fine for them.

Ivan tells her about his family. The truth was his father was not rich at all. His father came to this village from a neighbouring village to marry into a family where there were no sons alive. Ivan’s grandfather only had a daughter after his son died so he decided to bring a