Celebrate the Vomit

By Erin Bolk

Celebrate the Vomit

In life we are conditioned to celebrate our successes, but do you take time to celebrate the messy stuff as well?

Have you ever reacted to a situation where in the moment you know that this is not how you want to be?

Have you ever thought "I wish I could just get up and l

• Language: English
• Publisher: Manuscripts LLC
• Release date: May 23, 2024
• ISBN: 9798885043939

Erin Bolk

Erin Bolk is an organizational leader, mother and friend who believes that we all have greatness in ourselves. Since her teen years she has thought that people are always at choice and creating the environment for choice is her passion. Erin earned her BS in Computer Information Systems, multiple certifications within Agile and is trained in professional coaching through the Co-Active Training Institute. She specializes in Agile Transformations, coaching individuals and teams and helping others unlock who they are and what is important to them.The last several years, Erin has been focused on training and coaching those around her to show up as themselves in all aspects of life. Erin's goal is to continue to normalize the power of messy lives by sharing hers.

Book preview

Cover of Celebrate the Vomit by Erin Bolk

Celebrate the Vomit

Erin Bolk

Copyright © 2024 Erin Bolk

All rights reserved.

Celebrate the Vomit

ISBN

979-8-88504-392-2 Paperback

979-8-88504-391-5 Hardcover

979-8-88504-393-9 Ebook

Contents

Table of Contents

Introduction

A Little History

Ask For What You Need and Want

Meet People Where They Are

The Midmeeting Celebration

When I Brought the Company Down

Asking For Help

Am I Going to Laugh, Cry, or Vomit?

Have You Swung Your Pendulum Too Far?

The Things You Can Do with the Right Tools

That Time I Snapped at My Professor

Is It the Right Choice?

I Get to Decide?

Leaders Are Humans Too

Wrapping It Up

Acknowledgments

Appendix

Introduction

"One afternoon in the spring of 2022, my husband Chad and I walked to the bus in the afternoon to greet the girls like we did every day. I could tell something was off when I looked in the window to where Mackenzie, our fourth grader, was sitting. I could see all the emotions across her face. Peyton (our seven-year-old at the time) got off first and ran to greet us.

When Mackenzie got off the bus, she walked up to us and simply stated, I am such a jerk!

Hey… no, you aren’t. They are the jerk, I said. Why do you think you are a jerk?

I upset my friend today, and now she is really mad at me. She shared how she was feeling because of a friend, but she didn’t share it with the person who had upset her. She shared it with some other friends. Welp… the friends shared it with the other friend.

When we got home, Mackenzie and I sat in her room and talked about her actions and how she was feeling. I celebrated her for sharing her feelings, but I also commented that she didn’t share them with the right person. We sat in her emotions for a while. By doing this, she could truly feel and express where it hurt and what she wanted to do about it. We talked about what she could or would do differently next time. I also asked her what she wanted to do next. She came to all the decisions and actions herself. This was huge. It was a turning point for both her and me as her mother.

The next day, Chad and I were again at the bus stop waiting for the girls. When the bus arrived, I could see Kenz in the bus window. She had a huge smile on her face and gave two thumbs up! When she got off the bus, she gave me a big hug. As we walked home hand in hand, she told me what had happened.

She had shared with the teacher what had happened and what she was doing. She did this not by asking for help but by letting her know if she needed help with anything or if more information came to her teacher. Mackenzie wanted everything out in the open. She then talked to her friend and told her she should have talked directly to her, and they both were able to share how they were feeling.

She also told me what she had learned through this. She said speaking up about her feelings, even when it is really hard, is still the right thing to do. This book is finally happening because of this moment! Mackenzie told me what we discussed should be shared with other kids because she believes it could really help!

In positive psychology, the process of savoring—noticing, appreciating, and enhancing positive experiences—is often used to increase feelings of self-worth and overall life satisfaction by expanding people’s thoughts and behaviors, promoting creativity, social connection, personal resources, and resilience (Ramirez-Duran 2021).

Even in tough situations where emotions are bouncing, there is still the opportunity to pause and celebrate. Both Mackenzie and I were able to see glimpses of greatness on our journey together through this challenge. She uncovered what she wanted for herself, how she wanted others to see her and take up space, which had led her in her short life to pay attention to the people she wanted to spend time with.

We often learn that success and happiness in life are about the big milestones. This common belief is proven over and over again in different situations.

Think weight loss: People are not happy, nor do they celebrate until they have lost some goal weight they set for themselves. This could be the weight they graduated high school at or the weight they were before they grew another human inside their body. Possibly it’s the weight before the body went through the natural aging process, where hormones shifted, or before they experienced major life changes.

This happens in business as well. We don’t achieve success until the completion of the project, the launching of the app, or the closing of the deal. We keep driving toward an ever-changing end line. People just keep marching on and on.

The world is moving at a much faster pace these days. News broadcasting is almost instant after an event due to advancing technology and exacerbated by social media. Everyone has a smart phone and is quick to pull it out in an instant. I am not saying this is bad, but I am sharing that we need to adjust how we lead, how we parent, and how we show up daily.

It came to me a few years ago that if leaders shifted behaviors, there could be an exponential shift in society. For example, if leaders in a company modeled the behavior they were expecting, showed up as their authentic selves, or shared their vulnerabilities, this could affect an entire organization. If leaders broke down the walls between their personal lives and professional lives and showed up the same way they do in all situations, this would be huge to society.

Don’t let roles and titles dictate some perceived notion of how you should be. Be you.

I am not a researcher. I don’t dive into big data. I am an individual who reserves time for education. Yes, I have a college degree and different certifications and training, which have helped me. I trained as a professional coach through the Co-Active Institute. I have read countless professional and personal development books, including the main thought leaders like Simon Sinek, David Marquet, Carol Dweck, Brené Brown, and Daniel Pink, to name just a few. I am constantly looking to see how I can continue to change and challenge my comfort zone.

I took all the information I had ingested and put it into real-world experiences. I took time to understand my own values and how I show up in the world. Standing in who I am has enabled me to bring my best self to every situation, allowing authenticity to be present. If you aren’t authentic, the people around you see that, which will change the environment you are trying to create. Why should I be Erin, the mother, wife, sister, and daughter, in one interaction and Erin,