ParentEquip

By Sam McDowell

Whether it be intentional or accidental, most churches approach next-gen discipleship from the perspective that church leaders are meant to be the loudest spiritual voices in the lives of kids and students. The Bible, however, is clear that God's original design and intention was for parents to assume this role and responsibility. It's important

• Language: English
• Publisher: ParentEquip Publishing
• Release date: May 23, 2024
• ISBN: 9798218442057

Book preview

Cover of ParentEquip by Sam McDowell

From the very beginning, God's design for discipleship was with parents in mind. Sam highlights an important shift that needs to happen in next-gen ministries today and this book has the practical tools and first-hand experience to show you how! A must-read for any team looking to elevate parents back into their God-designed roles.

Emmanuel Caraballo, Next-Gen Pastor

"Growing our lens of youth ministry from a ministry to teens to a ministry to the whole family is a must. Parent-Equip lays out the principles and practical steps needed for Next-Gen leaders to grow better in our service to families. Parents will feel more empowered and better equipped to lead their families through the beautiful tips given through these teachings.

Will Perry, Lead Student Pastor

As both a parent and Next-Gen Pastor of 15 years, I believe ParentEquip is a must for the church if we want to see our children thrive in this current culture as life-long followers of Jesus.

Gary Casaletto, Next-Gen Pastor

"ParentEquip is a practical and inspiring resource. Definitely a great book to motivate and equip your entire Next-Gen team to partner with parents!

Daryl and Trisha Allen, Next-Gen Pastors

I deeply admire Sam's holistic approach to Next-Gen ministry. Kids/youth pastors who don't (yet) have a strategy to empower parents are doing ministry with one arm tied behind their back. This resource is designed to help you unleash your ministry's full potential impact on this generation and bear fruit that truly remains.

Cody Duff, Next-Gen Pastor

Empowering parents is a must in Next-Gen ministry! The principles that Sam outlines are both biblical and practical, providing a helpful perspective on the Biblical model of empowering families.

Will Hutcherson, Co-Author of SEEN and Beyond the Spiral

A Next-Gen Leader Guide to

Reinstating Parents as the

Primary Spiritual Leaders

Sam McDowell

ParentEquip

Copyright © 2023 by Sam McDowell

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage and retrieval system without express

written permission from the author, except

in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical reviews and certain other noncommercial uses permitted by copyright law.

Note: Names in the stories told throughout this book have been changed out of respect and protection for those involved. I am grateful for and honor every student and parent who has given me the opportunity to help lead them through next generation ministry.

ISBN 979-8-218-44205-7 (ebook)

Printed in the United States of America

Table of Contents

Part One: Introduction

Chapter 1: The Beginning

Chapter 2: The Biblical Case for ParentEquip

Chapter 3: The Example of the Early Church

Chapter 4: God’s Design for Families

Part Two: The Strategy

Chapter 5: (Foundation #1)

Chapter 6: (Foundation #2)

Chapter 7: (Foundation #3)

Part Three: The Application

Chapter 8: The Fruit of ParentEquip in Your Ministry

Chapter 9: Leading Your Ministry Forward

Part One:

Introduction

Chapter 1:

The Beginning

I will never forget the moment I realized I was more than a youth pastor. I was lying prone behind my bolt action long gun, looking downrange at my target five-hundred and thirty yards out. Slowly steadying my breath, with my crosshairs on target, I began to move my finger to the trigger, when I heard a voice to my right say, Sam, can I ask you a question? Garrett, the father of one of the students I pastored, and I had been shooting together for months on a private rifle range after church on Sundays. He had just packed up his gear and was leaning against his SUV, looking uneasy but eager. What am I doing wrong with Andrew?

Just seconds before, I was intently focused on my target downrange, but now Garrett had my full attention. I’ve come to realize that this is a common question for parents, but at the time, I have to admit that it shocked me a bit. Garrett was not only a father and husband but a soldier who spent the last two decades serving as a military and contract sniper. To me, he was the picture of confidence. When I first met Garrett, I knew I wanted to get to know him because of his background, but at the same time, I was quite intimidated by him. Standing well over 6 feet tall, with a full, thick beard, upright posture, and the tough confidence you’d probably expect from a military veteran, the way he carried himself was not exactly what I’d call approachable. And each week, I saw him and his family come to church and leave as soon as service was dismissed. In my mind, they didn’t seem like they needed any help.

Garrett’s son Andrew was a junior at the local high school, and he had the it factor. Outgoing, magnetic personality, athlete, popular kid, respectful but edgy, etc. I felt like I had to go out of my way to connect with him and his family, but after weeks of hustling this kid to come to our youth ministry, he finally showed up–with all of his friends. Over the next couple months, I saw Andrew flourish. He plugged into a small group in our ministry and began making some new Christian friends while still remaining connected to his school friends. As he got more involved with our youth ministry, I knew it was time to try to connect with his father. That’s how I ended up inviting Garrett to come to the gun range with me on Sundays after church. While I’ve never served in the military, I have always been interested in the special operations community, and I have pursued long-range precision shooting as a hobby. In light of Garrett’s background, I thought we could make a great connection on the gun range.

At first, our conversations were pretty stilted. I asked a lot of questions to try to get to know Garrett and show interest in his story, but he typically replied with short answers. It was like trying to draw water out of a dry well. Over time, however, things began to shift. Our conversations got richer, broaching deeper topics and sharing personal details. I soon learned that while Garett had a tough ex terior, he had a ton of sensitivity and depth. I learned that he struggled with knowing who he was after walking away from two decades of service overseas, that his identity in some ways remained at his final assignment as a contractor. He shared how guilty he felt missing so many years with his kids while simultaneously feeling completely paralyzed now that he was home for good, not knowing how to move forward. He even shared that he thought his marriage might be too far gone after everything they’d been through. I’m so grateful that our friendship grew to this depth of trust and vulnerability, because one day, he felt comfortable enough to ask, What am I doing wrong with Andrew? That simple, vulnerable question ignited a passion in me that led me to create the ParentEquip strategy and write this book.

Garrett’s question reflects the honest fear and insecurity burdening the heart of almost every parent trying to raise a kid in our world today. All parents tend to have similar core internal dialogues. How do I handle this? Am I doing enough? How do I know that I’m doing the right thing? These sentiments play on repeat in parents’ minds–but what makes our job as next generation leaders difficult is that they often don’t ask for help.

Over the last few years, I’ve talked with dozens of parents of adult children who just shake their heads in disbelief at the things parents are having to navigate through in today’s society. Wading through