Three Partially Sighted Mice - The Farmer's Wife

By Wabbit Wilder

A hilarious parody of modern adolescent pursuits.

Hickory, Dickory, and Doc are three teenage mice who are relentless in their efforts to gain favor with members of the fairer sex. Constantly seeking ways to impress, there's little or nothing the lads won't try, and some of their plans can only be described as borderline insane.
But just when they think they have it sussed, the wheels come off one of Doc's best schemes, and the trio find themselves in mortal peril at the hands of the dreaded Mrs. Farmer, the farmer's wife.
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Author's note:
Three Partially Sighted Mice is a dangerously funny modern take on a much loved traditional rhyme of a similar name.
The story is suitable for readers 12+, but contains a small handful of triggers, including one or two tongue-in-cheek references, a case of accidental substance use, and a handful of dubious words uttered by a large blue rabbit.
Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: Wabbit Wilder
• Release date: May 30, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224312870

Book preview

Three Partially Sighted Mice

~ The Farmer’s Wife ~

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Wabbit Wilder

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License Notes:

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Thank you for understanding and respecting the hard work of the author.

This is a work of fiction.

Names, characters, incidents, and places are fictitious. Any resemblances to persons or businesses are entirely coincidental.

Three Partially Sighted Mice

~ The Farmer’s Wife ~

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The two lads, typical of most teens, were bored. They were planted in front of the huge television in their student accommodation, absentmindedly drowning in the sea of banal drivel that typifies afternoon chat shows, but had very little enthusiasm for doing much else.

Your eyesight getting worse, Hicks? asked Dickory, trying to get an unobscured view of the attractive presenter who was animatedly extolling the virtues of lip and butt augmentation to an audience of three panellists.

Hickory, whose nose was pressed right up against the screen and turning red from static, sighed. Yeah. I think so, though maybe it’s just the glare. Not sure.

Why don’t you just wear your glasses? said Dickory. I mean, that’s ridiculous. It’s not like anyone’s around to see you, now is it?

You never know.

"You never know what?"

You never know when some of the girls might walk in.

Nonsense, said Dickory, adjusting his own spectacles, and nudging his friend out of the way. We’ve been living here for two years, and not one female has ever set foot inside the door of this room. They’re hardly going to pick this precise moment to show up, now are they, Hicks? You know, crazy as hell and wanting to rip our clothes off and do ... err ... things to us? It’s not going to happen, man.

I know, I know, moaned Hickory. It’s the friggin glasses. They see us in class, and they think we’re nothing but a bunch of boring nerds.

"Unlikely, but maybe you do have a slight point, conceded Dickory. I often wish we’d done what that damn optician, not to mention our parents, told us when we were younger, and we wouldn’t be sitting here wondering now."

Hickory nodded. Yeah. Pity. Too late now.

Dickory’s phone beeped. He stuck it right up to his face and read the text. Right. Enough of this nonsense. That’s Doc. He’s in the potting shed, and he says he’s come up with a sure-fire plan to get us noticed. Reckons the women will be drooling all over us.

Another plan? scoffed Hickory. "If it’s anything like the last two ...

*

The lads had met for the first time a number of years back while visiting the rodent optician with their parents. All three had been identified as having really poor eyesight, but it wouldn’t pose a problem in later life as long as they wore the prescribed spectacles.

Fat chance of that happening.

The darn things had lenses as thick as jam-jars, and the frames were geeky beyond belief. Seriously, what self-respecting teen mouse was going to play ball with a plan like that?

Now united in a bond born of protest, the trio had promptly either broken or lost their new glasses, and replacements were met with similar fates. In the end, their long-suffering parents had given up