Death Comes to Us All - A Guide - What to Do When an Adult Family Member Dies

By Tonino Belmonte

A general help guide for those seeking help to get them through the process of what to do when a family member dies.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tonino Belmonte
• Release date: Jun 2, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227309860

Tonino Belmonte

Live the life you love, try to do some good, give back and enjoy. I currently live in Australia and try to add value to the planet! 39 years global experience in venture capital, private equity and capital markets across multiple sectors: energy, financial services, infrastructure, life sciences, media, oil & gas, telecommunications, technology, renewables, resources and utilities. Held executive roles at PwC, ExxonMobil, Credit Suisse, Deloitte, Lehman Brothers, Matrix Group Ltd, Carlyle, Carthona, GCRCF and BMT. Have advised some of the globe's leading Sovereign Wealth Funds, Pension Fund's and Family Offices and closed over 100 material ( > $100m) M&A transactions across the planet for many of them. To do this I have been based in eights countries and visited 148 thus far... Currently I am, or have been, a Director, Non Executive Director, Advisory Board Member or a Board Advisor to many of the public and private companies that I and or my firms have invested in. Have investment experience across all value stages of the venture life cycle, including special situations (on and off-market) with more than 60 startups achieving material liquidity events over the last 25 years. Visit Angel List for more specific detail. In my youth I was an Australian Football Rep at 17, School First XI Captain and ACT State Rep and Vice Captain (77-81).

Book preview

Introduction

A - The emotional impact of losing an immediate family member!

The death of someone deeply connected to your life whether after a long illness or taken from you suddenly invariably leaves an immense void. Losing an immediate family member - whether a parent, spouse, sibling, or child - is among the most profoundly devastating experiences a person can ever endure in their life. The sacrosanct bonds that existed mere moments before are indelibly severed, giving way to an amalgam of gut-wrenching emotions - sorrow, disbelief, anger, regret.

Grief is as natural as it is agonising, a mirthless rite of passage that humanity preparedly stumbles through no matter what denomination we are! There are no prescribed methods for navigating its turbulent waters, no road maps for tolerating the interminable emotional maelstroms. Each person's journey is unique, shaped by the complexities of their relationship with the deceased and their own psychological and philosophical underpinnings.

For many, grief manifests as waves of sadness crashing over periods of profound emptiness and emotional numbness. Others experience it as pangs of anguish that penetrate their daily consciousness at unpredictable intervals. Still others surrender to the depths of depression, their drive for living temporarily crippled. These responses, however diverse, are all normal facets of mourning significant loss.

While devastatingly painful, grief is the human psyche's cathartic process of accepting what the conscious mind cannot - that someone deeply loved and profoundly irreplaceable is forever gone from your life. It resets the emotional equilibrium, preparing the bereaved to adapt to a new reality.

In the fog of grief, even the most basic decisions and responsibilities can seem tremendously burdensome. Yet it is during these tumultuous times that pragmatism is paramount. This book serves as a guide for navigating the formalities and logistical considerations that inevitably arise when an immediate family member passes away. The chapters that follow outline the steps, procedures, and resources for handling everything from funeral arrangements to estate settlements in a clear, compassionate manner.

Critically, this book also provides counsel on prioritising emotional self-care while attending to pragmatic needs. For however agonising grief's sting, it is a reminder of the extraordinary privilege of having loved and been loved so deeply. With support and guidance, bereaved individuals can mourn and honour their deceased loved ones in a healthy manner, gradually restoring their emotional fortitude to move forward in life with the treasured memories eternally close.

In this regard I turn to a favourite passage of my mother that Robert Kennedy used after learning that his friend Martin Luther King had been taken from the world in Memphis: In our sleep, pain which cannot forget falls drop by drop upon the heart until, in our own despair, against our will, comes wisdom through the awful grace of God. Aeschylus

B - The importance of being prepared and informed during this difficult time

While no amount of foresight can entirely insulate one from grief's harsh realities, being prepared and well-informed can provide some consolation amidst the tumult. Understanding what to expect and which matters require urgent attention allows the bereaved to focus their energies more effectively during this fragile period.

In the wake of profound loss, a tempest of formalities, responsibilities, and tough decisions descend upon the surviving family members. Funeral arrangements must be coordinated. The deceased's estate and outstanding affairs require resolution. Insurances, banking procedures, and legal obligations demand swift navigation. These tasks, though solemn reminders of death's finalities, are nonetheless critically important. Missteps can needlessly compound the emotional turmoil.

Attempting to address such weighty matters in the throes of fresh grief, without prudent guidance, often proves overwhelming for the unprepared. Resources are squandered, key priorities are overlooked, and opportunities for solace are missed as families flail in uncharted territory. The bereaved find themselves adrift, battered by wave after wave of logistical obligations that sandbag their emotional healing.

This purgatory can be avoided, or at least made more bearable, by acquiring a basic familiarity with the pragmatic end-of-life considerations before crisis strikes. Entering this arena with a pre-existing knowledge-base allows families to properly and methodically confront each matter from a position of pragmatism rather than blind panic. They can make well-informed decisions, minimising unnecessary stresses.

More importantly, possessing this concrete information and understanding the road ahead provides a sense of empowerment during a period typically dominated by powerlessness against nature's intransigent forces. It offers a form of emotional counterweight to the grief, a constructive channel for the bereaved's energies and thoughts as they embark on restorative mourning.

The journey through profound loss can never be truly prepared for, but it need not be blindly stumbled through either. With foresight and guidance, the bereaved can approach the inescapable realities with resilience, wisdom, and reassuring constancy of purpose. This book aims to provide that vital preparation - serving as an informed, compassionate helping hand when one is needed most and something my mother provided my siblings and I before her passing.

C - Overview of the topics covered in the book

In the chapters that follow, this book explores the myriad issues and considerations that arise when an immediate family member passes away. It serves as a pragmatic and compassionate guide for navigating this emotional exodus.

The grieving