How To Choose Your Life Partner: A practical guide to help you choose your life partner

By Monica Zunny

How To Choose Your Life Partner ✨

Your life partner is your life's mirror-take a look at that person and see possibility, strength, and a better version of yourself. This person should be a firm believer in your dreams and ready to walk with you through all the seasons of life.

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• Language: English
• Publisher: OladeleGraphics
• Release date: Jun 3, 2024
• ISBN: 9798330213573

Book preview

HOW TO CHOOSE YOUR LIFE PARTNER

A practical guide to help you choose your life partner

Monica Zunny

Copyright© and Permission.

Unless otherwise indicated, some scriptures quotations are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION® NIV® Copyright © 1984 by the International Bible Society. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

Other scripture references are also from the HOLY BIBLE, KING JAMES VERSION. Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson Inc. used by permission. All rights reserved.

Verses Marked Message Translation are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, The Message Translation, copyright © Nav Press used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc. All rights reserved.

Verses marked AMPC ® are taken from the HOLY BIBLE, AMPLIFIED CLASSIC EDITION. AMPC® Copyright® HarperCollins Christian Publishers. Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved.

This book is a work of coaching, training, and life experiences and has no direct reference to particular persons.

Contents

DEDICATION

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

INTRODUCTION

Your Life Partner is Your Life Mirror

CHAPTER ONE

KNOWLEDGE OF SELF IS THE FOUNDATION

1. Respect for self and others

2. Responsibility

3. Honesty

4. Integrity

5. Respect for boundaries

6. Perseverance

7. Hard work/dignity of labour

8. Empathy

9. Charity

10. Family bonds or ties

11. Goals and aspirations.

12. Fidelity

CHAPTER TWO

COMPATIBILITY MATRIX

Identify your shared values and common interests

Observe emotional Intelligence, Spiritual maturity, Intellectual strength, and mental capacity

CHAPTER THREE

OTHER IMPORTANT FACTORS.

A. Communication

B. Trust and Respect for each other.

C. Family and Life Goals.

D. Finances

E. Support Systems

F. Commitment and Love

CHAPTER FOUR

CONVERSATIONS TO HAVE WHILE DATING

1. Future Plans In Dating/Courtship

2. First Impression

3. Family Setting

4. Past Betrayal

5. Sensitivity Threshold

6. Establishing Values

7. Childhood

8. Keeping Secrets

9. Mentor /Hero

10. Obligations In Courtship

11. Extended Family/Inlaws

12. Religious/Spiritual Activities.

13. Preparedness

CHAPTER FIVE

MENTAL HEALTH AND COURTSHIP

Signs of Domestic Violence

When to opt out of courtship

CHAPTER SIX

PRACTICAL GUIDE TO CHOOSING YOUR LIFE PARTNER

Learning Outcome:

Goal Setting Activity

Going into Details

Sexual boundaries

Relationship boundaries

Statement of Resolution

Expectations in Courtship

CHAPTER SEVEN

THE POINT OF DECISION

When to go into marriage.

CONCLUSION

DEDICATION

To that young man and young lady who is looking forward to finding true love. Who believes in marriage and wants to get married to that one person with whom they will live happily ever after…

ACKNOWLEDGEMENT

My praise and gratitude go to the lover of my soul, my Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ, for His many graces in my life and for bringing me this far. Thank you, Holy Spirit of grace, for the inner nudges and the leading you give, my extraordinary strategist and best friend; I adore you, Lord.

I am eternally grateful to my father, life coach and pastor, Reverend Dr Chris Oyakhilome Dsc, Dsc, DD. Growing up in the Loveworld Nation for the past thirty-plus years is one of the greatest blessings of my life.

To my husband, legendary PZA, you have invested a lot in me over the twenty-plus years of our marriage. I pray for better days with you. My children- Chris-Rhema and Chris-Mimshach; mummy loves you both.

My dear mother and mother-in-law, your lives are milestones in this journey called life; your counsel, unconditional love, and prayers are priceless and I am grateful.

To all the young men and women that have given me the opportunity to counsel, mentor and train them. I hope this book brings you answers as you navigate the busy cross-roads of life and choose your life partner.

To the great team at Relationship Intelligence and Positive Marriage Initiative, you are beyond amazing. May God bless you all.

INTRODUCTION

Your Life Partner is Your Life Mirror

Choosing a life partner is a significant decision to make in life. It is choosing someone you will share the rest of your life with and build a happy and fulfilling relationship with that person that you hope will last forever.

The word partner indicates a partnership, and this kind of partnership is for life, it can also be seen as a partnership for battle; you are looking at someone who will stand and fight with you as you face the storms of life, someone who will shield you from the storms of life, someone who will cover you, protect you from harm and also take some bullets for you if push comes to shove.

This kind of partnership also means purpose-driven partnership; there is a goal for entering into this partnership; it is not like any other business partnership based on fifty-fifty or seventy-thirty percent. Regarding marriage, I always advise you to look at a hundred-zero; you give your all and expect nothing in return. This is the best way to look at marriage relationships, but it is almost impossible as expectations and terms and conditions are always attached.

When seeking or choosing your life partner, it must be done intentionally and spiritually, too. You must understand yourself and outline the personality trait that will complement your personality.

Another essential thing is knowing you have the power and capacity to choose your life partner. You should not be deceived into thinking that you are lucky to have someone propose to you, whoever the person may be, As a lady, you have the right to choose your life partner, and your choice must be based on sound principles and values. This should be the focus for men too.

Many people have been led into making wrong choices because of pressure; some are self-inflicted pressure based on current circumstances, and some are pressured by their family to get married because of their position, maybe as a first child or only child or for other reasons.

It would be best if you remembered that you are the one to live with the partner you marry, and those who put you under pressure will not be there to face whatever conditions you find yourself in. One rule I use in life is never to make crucial decisions under pressure. Even if a guy goes on bent knees with the whole stadium behind him cheering you to accept the proposal, let your reasoning drown their cheers and make the right choice.

It is a choice; do not be persuaded or patronized into accepting it. And if you did and discovered you made a mistake, please break the engagement; a broken engagement is better than a broken marriage, and a broken marriage is better than a broken life.

Another reason why some people jump into marriage is because of the fear of being lonely or alone; feeling like you may never get someone better is an expression of insecurity that you need to deal with, which may have its root causes in other areas of your life, and marriage will not solve it.

Until you become fulfilled as a single person first, you will not get fulfilment in life even when you get married, except you have found fulfilment as a single person. Marriage is an additional responsibility, you have obligations and responsibility for your spouse and the children born into that union. You must understand and appreciate that being alone does not mean being lonely, inadequate, or undesirable.

When you understand what it means to be single, fulfilled, adequate, and valuable, you then see yourself as a plus to anyone who becomes your life partner, and you look for the things that can keep you together on the same page and not the things you stand to gain from the relationship.

You know you need someone willing, capable, and ready to go with you to win more ground in every area of your life: family, connections, career, finances, health, wealth, net worth, network, and, of course, spiritually. You are not looking for someone you can latch on to for three square meals, a roof over your head, and bill payments.

Know this and know peace; there is no fear in love because perfect love casts out fear. I may not be able to guarantee you of any perfect human being. There is such a thing as perfect love, and it is more potent than human perfections; it can overlook our shortcomings and can be sustainable throughout the seasons of our lives. That is what you should seek. I hear someone say, I want that kind of love. Yes! You can have it if you are willing, obedient, and sincere with yourself.

Knowing yourself and the values and principles that drive you is a very important aspect of understanding others, we see, hear and evaluate people, circumstances and life from the standpoint of self knowledge.

Giving priority to self care, self value and mental health should