Memoirs of an Addict

By Mandalin Cooper

"Memoirs of An Addict," is a courageous, personal and deeply powerful
exploration of the author's journey through addiction and recovery.
The poems, written more than 20 years ago during the author's struggle
with methamphetamine, offer a raw and honest glimpse into the mind and
experiences of someone battling substance abuse.
The poems give hope that even in the most challenging times, there
is always the possibility of healing and transformation.
The author's reflections on each poem, written after decades of
recovery, add depth and insight, highlighting the growth and wisdom
gained through her journey.
The author's ability to forgive herself and others, finding meaning
within her own struggles, is truly inspiring. Reinforcing the author's
message of hope and the possibility of recovery.
The author's vulnerability, honesty, and ultimate triumph make this book
a valuable resource for anyone struggling with substance abuse, as well as for
loved ones seeking to understand, support, and somehow forgive the addict.
This collection is a true testimony to the resilience within the human
spirit and the power of acceptance, love, and forgiveness, even when facing
the darkest of demons.

• Language: English
• Publisher: iUniverse
• Release date: Jun 3, 2024
• ISBN: 9781663262912

Mandalin Cooper

Mandalin Cooper was born and raised in Northwest Montana. She is married and a mother of 7. She enjoys snowboarding and reading while also chasing her children around the country in whatever sport they are involved in. Mandalin is a recovered addict who knows first hand the demon that takes hold and how she was able to defeat it. Mandalin is also not ashamed to admit during that addiction, she became a convicted felon. She married the love of her life who is also a recovered addict, convicted felon, Christopher. He spent a collective 15 years in the Colorado State Penitentiary. Christopher and Mandalin have completely changed their lives. They have decades of clean time between and are now productive citizens. Mandalin loves to share hope and healing to everyone she meets. Especially through words on paper. Mandalin is a Reiki Master and owner of a natural healing practice in Colorado where she resides with her family

Book preview

Memoirs

of an

Addict

Mandalin Cooper

25523.png

MEMOIRS OF AN ADDICT

Copyright © 2024 Mandalin Cooper.

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by

any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying,

recording, taping or by any information storage retrieval system

without the written permission of the author except in the case of

brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

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of the author and do not necessarily reflect the views of the publisher,

and the publisher hereby disclaims any responsibility for them.

Any people depicted in stock imagery provided by Getty Images are

models, and such images are being used for illustrative purposes only.

Certain stock imagery © Getty Images.

ISBN: 978-1-6632-6292-9 (sc)

ISBN: 978-1-6632-6291-2 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024909779

iUniverse rev. date: 05/23/2024

Contents

6-20-02

Sept 10th, 2002

04/13/03

May 6th, 2003

May 5th, 2003

May 8th, 2003

May 08, 2003

May 08, 2003

May 8th, 2003

May 9th, 2003

May 9th 2003

May 9th, 2003

May 9th 2003

May 11th, 2003

May 11th, 2003

May 26th, 2003

June 24th, 2003

June 29th, 2003

July 18th, 2003

July 29th, 2003

02/23/2024

This collection of poetry was written over 20 years ago. When I was full throttle into my meth addiction. As awful as that time was, it is a part of me and the poetry is truly beautiful. I have learned that I have to accept and actually love the darkest parts of my story. The darkest parts of myself. They deserve the most love so that I can truly heal and love the woman I have become. I also have to be able to dig deep to release those who hurt me. I have to feel the trauma’s that came with drug addiction and let it go. I am no one’s victim, let alone my own. I hope that somewhere between the words, you, the reader, may find some strength. Strength to love yourself enough to get help. Realizing that letting go of our addictions, is where the healing begins. It still takes so much time afterwards to heal. Sometimes, even 20 years. Don’t give up on yourself or your journey. Be patient with the process. You’re worth it.

6-20-02

Not a moment goes by that I don’t think of you.

Picture you, yurn for you and miss you.

You’ve always been mommies most precious angel.

Those huge, radiant, vibrant green eyes.

When you smile, they do, too; all of you just sparkles.

Golden blonde hair is the most beautiful natural color.

It sweeps so perfectly and gentle around

your little cherub face.

The echo of your laugh in the back of my

mind makes me smile and cry.

I will always be there with you, for you are half of me.

I hope that you will somewhat remember me.

Don’t ever forget how much I tried to show you I loved you.

Please don’t forget who always took care of you.

Also, understand and forgive me for all of this.

You don’t have to agree, and I will understand

if you somewhat resent me.

All I ask is don’t hold it against me and at

least listen to my side of the story.

This was the hardest decision that

Mommie has ever had to make.

You are my child.

My whole entire life.

My reason to strive and live.

He is my love, the one that gives me hope.

Makes me happy and not depressed.

Our family said a lot and put me through quite a bit.

I couldn’t take you to live a life like this.

I couldn’t rip you away