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Just Red Pilled
Just Red Pilled
Just Red Pilled
Ebook112 pages57 minutes

Just Red Pilled

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Just Red Pilled is a comedy light show about American politics and culture post-COVID damage. #BSIsOutTheBag 

LanguageEnglish
Release dateJun 7, 2024
ISBN9798227614803
Author

Michael Kornbluth

Michael Kornbluth is an Author Comedian, a distinguished Hair Metal Historian and Too Tall Jew host of the Do It All Dad Year Podcast, funny fast jokes and stories for you and me. He's produced 140 comedy records from home although according to his father he's just talking to himself. These comedic beasts include Lapping Losers, Bronx Boy's Blues, Heavenly Toppers, Punchout Poverty, Do It All Dad Does China, Blast Off Time, Zevon Zappa Kornbluth, Big Mouth Moses and Not Kosher Baby.   His other books include Controlling My Kids With Comedy, A Love Story, Do It All Dad Does Jokes, The Great American Jew Novel, Resist This, The Koshertarian Comedians, Just Red Pilled and Sloppy Second Stories. John Lennon wished he was this productive during his stay-at-home dad years.

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    Book preview

    Just Red Pilled - Michael Kornbluth

    Pissed Storm Coming

    If Biden won the election and got the most votes of all time, even more than Obama Be Good. Then, Michelle Obama regretted pissing on the ceiling fan in the Lincoln Bedroom before Trump got inaugurated. Only for the Donald to comment to Melania later after getting peed on for real this time from above. Is this what she-he meant when she-he said, When they go low, we aim high." Bill Maher just got a major league stiffy.

    Pissed Storm Coming, can I get a holla for some Challah?

    Patton Oswalt, resist this.

    Thank you very much.

    Can’t Top This

    RFK Junior is correct, every US administration at one point or another has negotiated with Russia, even FDR did so with Stalin.

    I’ll give you General Patton’s gun porn collection for your finest horse dentist for Eleanor, deal comrade?

    Colin Kaepernick sports a fake news fro.

    Have you ever seen a bi-racial afro that large before?

    Slash grew it out and it was a total flop.

    Taking selfies with Linda Sarsour is an attractive look fake news fro Kaepernick.

    Last time I checked, Linda Sarsour is for clitoral mutilation.

    So that’s like sporting a mutilated clit on your fro bro.

    Is the Black Panther a Black Hebrew now too?

    What’s his superpower?

    Red Pilled Vision.

    Which exposes Stephen A Smith as an overpaid, has-been hack, who felt threatened enough to get Max Kellerman canceled from First Take.

    What crafty Jew came up with this brilliant defense on the behalf of the Black Illuminati?

    How can I be antisemitic?

    I’m a Black Hebrew like Amar’e Stoudamire. 

    I’m sure King David shows up on your Ancestry.com, Shaka Zulu.

    I want to call our Border, The China Club.

    Anybody can get in.

    Persians feel a-list for a change.

    Does Columbia let anybody in now?

    Columbia, UCLA, The University of Connecticut.

    What difference at this point, does it make?

    Hillary Hammertime Cankles strikes again, Benghazi ain’t going away, Charlie Daniels lives, can I get a holla for some old school Charlie Daniels? Challah, thank you very much.

    Schwarzenegger called January 6th Kristallnacht, otherwise known as the Night of Broken Glass.

    ––––––––

    That’s funny, I thought Trump voters still illegally imprisoned were protesting a stolen election in broad daylight, my bad.

    We get it Arnold; your ego is in shambles since you were a ratings disaster on the Apprentice. When The Connors just got renewed for season 6.

    Hasta La Vista Kraut Breath.

    My in-laws didn’t care for the movie Inglorious Bastards. I’m quoting them verbatim. At the same time, they reserved IMAX seating to see Apocalypto six million months in advance.

    Today, 50 percent of young Americans question the Holocaust.

    In their defense, Kayne's kids don’t know their elbow from Britney Griner’s birthing people hole.

    Biden’s cockblocking more aid to Israel. Or else Obama will have to start smoking crack to get hard again.

    Michelle Obama for President, please. Now, that’s just what America needs, Obama’s Five O Clock Shadow part 2.

    Who’s Michelle Obama’s VP pick? The governor of California, Metrosexual Getko? What’s going to be his campaign slogan after turning LA into a sprawling tent city sponsored by REI? Make smash and grab robberies great outside of the sunshine scurrying state.

    I don’t think Kid Rock is transphobic. But he does suffer from body dysmorphia for going back to drinking Bud Light. He has to burn 9000 calories from jumping off amps to Devil Without A Cause, easy.

    Can't Top This, can I get a holla for some Challah? Thank you very much.

    Recession Special

    Former Governor Andrew Black Eyes Cuomo, AKA, The Cold-Blooded Italian Reptilian Inside, getting paid money to write a book about leadership is like Woody Allen getting paid to write a book on hands-off parenting. Or Hitler getting paid to write a book about anger management. Or R. Kelly getting early parole to babysit the latest Kardashian out of the womb. Or Kevin Durant getting picked to do a Ted Talk on how to block out the sound of Cyberbullying.

    And how was Governor Cuomo ever considered a sex symbol @Ben Stiller @Chris Rock? No, I won’t jump off my dad’s bridge Cuomo, looks like the Thing and Mama Fratelli from the Goonies had a baby.

    What’s sadder than the bumper sticker, My Cat Votes Democrat?

    Hair Plugs Sniffer & Pearl Necklace Harris 2024.

    How can Trump voters be jealous of Katie Couric’s wealth? When all the millions and millions can’t conceal her gummy chompers from swallowing up her Little Shop of Horrors face.

    ––––––––

    Do you think Dr. Fauci, AKA, Dr. Gnocchi, has the heart to tell Bronny James from Bel Air that the COVID-19 vax shot causes more heart troubles than his Dad losing to the Serbian Nationalist in the 1st round again?

    "You should've stuck to taking Saline shots with

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