Then We Try Again

By Belle Feliz

"May isang lalaki or isang tao na bothered tayo kahit na ano ang gawin natin…"

Para kay Henri ay si Stefan iyon. He was her first love and first major heartbreak. Marinig lang niya ang pangalan nito ay walang palya ang pagkislot ng puso niya.

Kaya parang nauga ang mundo niya nang bigla na lang lumitaw at bumalik sa buhay niya ang lalaki. Hindi na niya gustong ungkatin pa ang nakaraan pero hindi maiwasan. May mga bagong impormasyon siyang nalaman. Nabigyan siya ng paliwanag sa ilang pangyayari sa nakaraan.

They had the chance to get to know each other again. The attraction and passion were still there. Pero pilit niyang pinaglabanan ang nadarama. She was terrified it would happen again.

They had a good thing and then he was suddenly gone.

Henri knew the heartbreak would destroy her this time. Kaya kailangan niyang protektahan ang puso niya. Magtagumpay kaya siya o ito na ang tamang pagkakataon nilang dalawa?

• Language: Tagalog
• Publisher: Belle Feliz
• Release date: Jun 14, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227727404

Belle Feliz

Belle Feliz writes Tagalog romance.

Book preview

Chapter One

DAMN YOU, DEVNEY, Henri muttered under her breath. Isinuot niya ang white coat niya at pinagmasdan ang sarili sa salamin. She looked impeccable. Medyo nakakapalan na siya sa makeup niya pero nagpasya siya na dagdagan pa rin ng layer ang lipstick niya. The makeup matured her and that was exactly why she was meticulously doing her makeup on days like today.

It was her consult day at the medical aesthetic clinic she had been working on since her internship. She had a baby face. Madalas na hindi naniniwala ang mga tao na isa siyang doktor at siruhano sa unang pagkikita. Palaging may kaunting duda at skepticism. Kaya pinag-uukulan talaga niya ng panahon ang makeup kapag haharap siya sa ilang pasyente slash kliyente.

Ugh, Dev, usal uli niya matapos niyang masiguro na magiging presentable siya sa pagharap sa potential client niya sa umagang iyon.

Kanina pa sinusubukan ni Henri na ipagpag sa isipan niya ang tungkol sa isang partikular na lalaki mula sa kanyang nakaraan. Stevie.

Devney was one of her best friends from nursing school. Anim sila sa isang grupo na nagkakasama para sa kanilang unang Related Learning Experience. Nagkakilala sila sa unang araw nila sa maternity ward. Hanggang sa matapos sila sa nursing school ay tight silang anim na magkakaibigan. Kahit na saan sila dinala ng buhay at kapalaran, nanatili ang matibay at malalim na pagkakaibigan.

Henri loved her friends. She loved them more than anyone at this point. They weren’t just her friends, they were family. The family she had chosen. She had always been grateful she found Kuya Pippo, Abby, Devney, Nora and Lily. Masasabi niya na ang mga kaibigan ang isa sa mga dahilan kung bakit narating niya ang kinaroroonan niya sa kasalukuyan. They encouraged and supported her. Hindi perpekto ang pagkakaibigan nila. Hindi rin palaging nagkakasundo. But they loved each other. They never forgot.

Dahil nga lubos na nilang kilala ang isa’t isa, alam nila kung anong button ang ipe-press sa isa’t isa. They knew where exactly to aim.

Ilang araw na si Devney sa condo nila ni Lily. Matagal na silang magkasama sa tirahan ni Lily at hindi na rin bago na nag-stay sa kanila ng ilang araw si Devney. Paminsan-minsan ding ginagawa ng iba pero pinakamadalas talaga na si Devney ang mag-stay. She was a big shot influencer. When she needed some quiet time, she would stay with them. It made her feel normal and more herself, Henri guessed. They ground each other.

Napag-usapan nila nang umagang iyon ang tungkol sa ilang tao, partikular si Reggie, ang lalaking nagbibigay ng kakaibang pakiramdam sa kaibigan.

Minsan talaga siguro ay may isang lalaki or isang tao na bothered tayo kahit na ano ang gawin natin... May fondness or something. Parang si Stevie mo rin, Henri.

Nasamid si Henri pagkarinig niya ng pangalan na binanggit ng kaibigan. Hindi niya gustong magkaroon ng reaksiyon. Hindi niya gustong isipin o paniwalaan na si Stevie ang lalaking makaka-bother sa kanya kahit na mabanggit lang ang pangalan nito. Pero heto siya. Bothered na bothered. Hindi maalis sa isipan niya ang lalaking minahal ng batang puso niya. Ang lalaking nanakit nang husto sa kanya.

She had moved on. Naghilom na ang lahat ng sugat. Hindi naman talaga niya iniisip ang lalaki. Pero talaga namang iba ang epekto nito sa kanya mabanggit lang ang pangalan nito o makita niya ang ilang larawan o video. Matagal-tagal bago niya ito mapalis sa isipan niya. May mga pagkakataon na parang gusto niyang i-check ang social media nito. Parang gustong-gusto niyang malaman kung ano ang nangyayari na sa buhay nito. Was he okay? Was he happy? Was he even thinking of her?

Was she obsessed with the man? O dahil iyon sa wala silang proper closure?

Gusto niyang mainis sa huling naisip dahil hindi na siya bata. Closure was very overrated. She was too young when it happened. They were both young. They were both in a messy business. They weren’t in the healthiest environment then. She got out. They got out. They both went on with their lives after. They built a life outside show business.

He goes by Stefan now, sabi ni Lily. Henri knew that. He was Stefanio Tarun Nolan, but she and the rest of the world used to know him as Stevie Nolan, one of the most talented and awarded childstars.

Henri used to be in the same world as him. May pagkakataon na kilala sa bawat sulok ng Pilipinas si Etta Joaquin.

Stevie and Etta no longer existed. Hindi na sila naaalala ng mga tao, lalo na siya. She painstakingly built another career. She was proud of her childstar self as one could be proud of something she did when she was young, but she couldn’t be a childstar forever. She didn’t think she would be a cosmetic surgeon then, but she knew as early as fifteen that she didn’t want to be in show business forever. She chose to be Henri.

It was hard to be just Henri. It was hard to build the life that she had right now. But she chose this life. She loved this life. As she grew older, she became grateful for her past. Hindi naman din talaga niya makakamit ang lahat ng mayroon siya kung hindi dahil sa mga ginawa niya mula pagkabata. Etta Joaquin, the cute and sassy childstar, was part of Dr. Henrietta Joaquin, the plastic surgeon.

She had started working at three years old. Parte siya ng malaking cast ng longest running family-oriented situational comedy series. She was three when she started, and she was almost fifteen when the series ended.

Aksidente lang talaga ang pagkakasali niya. May nakuha na talagang baby for the role. Ang kaso, iyak nang iyak ang baby na iyon sa araw ng taping. Bumisita ang kanyang ina na isa ring aktres sa set at karay-karay siya. She spoke well for a three-year-old and she was so natural, according to everyone. She listened to instructions at naibigay niya ang gusto ng direktor. Alam niya na bumisita ang ina niya noon sa set para sumipsip sa ilang production staff at para na rin yata humingi ng pabor sa ilang kaibigang artista. Offers dried up. Hindi nito inakala na siya ang makakakuha ng trabaho. Kaagad pumayag ang kanyang ina na magtrabaho siya.

Hindi dahil katuwaan lang. Hindi lang para makita siya paminsan-minsan sa TV. Dahil kailangan.

Dahil sa pagiging childstar, naibigay niya ang buhay na pinangarap ng ina noong pumasok ito sa show business. Her career as a childstar also sustained her mother’s drug habit.

Halos wala sa loob na napabuntong-hininga si Henri. Ito rin ang isa sa mga ayaw niya kapag sumasagi sa isipan niya si Stevie. It was like going down the rabbit’s hole. Kasabay ng pagbalik sa nakaraan ang pagbalik niya sa naging buhay. Hindi lang tungkol sa lalaki ang nababalikan niya, maging ang napakaraming bagay sa buhay niya. Naaalala niya ang hindi magandang relasyon nilang mag-ina. Naaalala niya na halos wala siyang pamilya habang lumalaki.

You owe it all to me! Sinira mo ang buhay ko, letse ka. Kung hindi ako nabuntis sa `yo, hindi ako mawawalan ng career. Kaya dapat lang na ikaw ang magtrabaho!

Inakala niya noon na tama ang ina niya sa mga sinabi nito sa kanya. Inakala niya na tamang balikatin ng bata ang halos lahat ng responsibilidad.

Henri did not have a normal childhood. She had been working at a tender age. Naging sagana naman ang trabaho. She didn’t go to a regular school, she was home-schooled. Kasabay ng pagkabisa sa mga script ang pagso-solve ng math problems. Habang lumalaki ay nare-realize niya na hindi normal ang buhay niya. Hindi normal na siya ang nagtatrabaho sa pamilya nila.

She longed for a normal life. She wanted to experience how it was like to be a normal kid. When offers dried up, she had the time and the option to go to a regular school. Kaagad niyang nabatid kung gaano ka-abnormal ang environment niya habang lumalaki. She had never really been around people her age. Lumaki siya around adults kaya medyo nahirapan siyang makitungo sa mga kaedad niya. Nahirapan siyang makisama sa regular school.

Hindi rin gaanong nakatulong na parang umiiwas kaagad sa kanya ang halos lahat. It seemed as though they didn’t like her at the get-go. Some kids were already too adamant about hating her. Finishing high school in a regular school had been hell.

Nagpatuloy pa rin siya sa kolehiyo dahil mas dumalang ang dating ng roles sa kanya. Determinado rin kasi siyang maging educated. Hindi siya nagkaroon ng choice noong bata siya, pero nabatid niya na hindi niya gustong maging artista habang-buhay. Hindi sa pag-aartista siya tatanda. Hindi siya sigurado noon sa gusto talaga niyang gawin o maging, pero sigurado siya na nais niyang iwan ang show business.

Henri decided on Nursing. She was being practical. Plinano niyang magtungo ng ibang bansa at kung nahihirapan siyang makakuha ng trabaho bilang artista sa Pilipinas, mas lalo siyang mahihirapan sa ibang bansa. She also wanted something very different. Naisip niya, kung maninirahan siya sa ibang bansa, kailangan niya ng skills. It was between culinary school and nursing school.

She chose the latter because she wanted a degree. Her first couple of years of college went okay. Wala siyang naging malapit na kaibigan o grupo pero ayos lang sa kanya. May malaking serye siyang ginagawa noon kaya wala rin siyang gaanong time na makihalubilo talaga. She was focused on working and studying, but she longed for friendship outside of show business.

Labis ang pasasalamat niya na dumating sa buhay niya ang limang kaibigan.

As they grew older, they built their own lives. Iba-ibang landas ang tinungo nila. Kuya Pippo was the chief admin of a small hospital in a small town. Kasama nito sa small town na iyon si Abby. Abby used to work abroad. Ngayon ay kasal na ang kaibigan sa isang vegetable farmer at nagtatrabaho sa maliit na ospital na pinamamahalaan ni Kuya Pippo. Nora was a wife and a mother. Devney was a successful YouTuber and businesswoman. Lily was an operating room nurse at a huge tertiary hospital where she was also affiliated. And Henri became a surgeon.

Kahit na iba-iba ang landas na pinili, nanatili silang matalik na magkakaibigan. Hindi nawala ang koneksiyon at bond. They wanted to grow old and gray and still be good friends.

Henri had a good life. She made the right choices. It hadn’t been easy, and she went through so much. She was brave and tough. She could still be vulnerable and unsure, but she was fine. She was happy and content. Napakitunguhan na niya ang maraming bagay tungkol sa nakaraan niya, tungkol sa naging buhay niya.

Hindi lang talaga niya maintindihan ang sarili kung bakit may epekto pa rin sa kanya si Stevie—Stefan. Mabanggit lang ang pangalan nito, parang may munting bagyo na sa kalooban niya. Parang hindi mahalaga ang haba ng panahon na lumipas. Kahit na paano niya sabihin na hindi na uli sila magiging parte ng buhay ng isa’t isa, parang walang epekto. Kahit na alam niya na hindi man lang siya sumasagi sa isipan nito.

Siguro nga dahil hindi lang ang tungkol sa nangyari sa kanila ang nauungkat. Maraming bagay ang mas nauungkat. Kahit na napakitunguhan na niya ang maraming bagay, may ilan pa rin na parang hirap siyang balikan o tanggapin.

Nagkasama sila ni Stefan sa comedy series. Hindi nga lang talaga sila maituturing na close habang umeere ang serye noon. Henri was the youngest among the child stars on that set. Stefan was with the group of child stars his age. They were four years older than her, if her memory served right. She had always been the baby in the group. Hindi siya na-include sa group nito at iba pang child stars. Parang may sariling mundo ang mga ito. Ang mga adult ang madalas na kasa-kasama niya.

Stefan was her first crush. The first boy she had felt something special. Naging aware siya sa opposite sex dahil dito. He was also her first love.

He was someone from ancient history.

Muli siyang napabuntong-hininga. Tinungo niya ang klinika niya pero mukhang late ang ka-appointment niya kaya mas napaisip siya tungkol sa nakaraan.

Nang matapos ang comedy series ay sandali silang nawalan ng ugnayan ni Stefan. They were not exactly friends to stay in contact with each other. He moved on to more mature roles. He had a loveteam. Habang pumupusyaw ang kasikatan niya, mas nagningning si Stefan.

Dahil sumikat ang loveteam na kinabilangan nito noon, nagkaroon ito ng sariling soap. Her mother called in some favors for her to get an audition for that show. She got the role of a psycho ex-girlfriend. She wanted to do the show because of Stefan and because she needed the money for her education.

Napailing-iling siya nang maalala ang naging reception ng mga tao. From someone the nation adored, she became one of the most hated characters. Minsan nga ay hindi na naihihiwalay sa kanya ang role. Parang psycho talaga ang tingin ng mga tao sa kanya.

Some people said she owned that role. Sobrang kapani-paniwala. Aminado naman siya na may mga pagkakataon noon na hindi na siya umaarte. She played the overly jealous ex-girlfriend, and she was most of the time jealous.

Sa serye na iyon sila nagkalapit at nagkakilala talaga ni Stefan. Dahil bago siya maging ex-girlfriend ay girlfriend muna siya. Madalas silang magkasama sa unang phase ng show. May mga sweet scenes. May kissing scenes sila. Her first kiss was Stefan in front of the camera.

Henri was too young. She was just sixteen then and playing an older character. Walang intimacy coordinator noon. Salat siya sa experience. Walang gaanong nakakapagpaliwanag sa kanya tungkol sa ilang bagay. It was a wild and confusing time for her. She was naive and vulnerable. She badly wanted to belong. She badly wanted Stefan to love her the way she wanted. Siguro ay na-internalized niya masyado ang role niya.

She believed she got what she wanted. Stefan loved her. He wanted to be with her. He was going to choose her.

Then he was gone. Walang goodbye. Walang explanation. Nalaman na lang niya na nasa Australia na ang lalaki. Sa loob ng mahabang panahon ay wala siyang narinig tungkol dito. She found her people and she managed to finish school. Tinalikuran niya ang show business dahil mas naging matibay ang kagustuhan niyang tumigil na sa pagiging artista. She moved on.

She was in her residency when she heard he got married. It felt like her heart broke. Hindi niya iyon gustong maramdaman pero parang ang tagal niyang naging matamlay dahil doon. Kinailangan niyang abalahin nang husto ang sarili—na hindi mahirap gawin dahil sa residency niya—para

Reviews for Then We Try Again

[Teenai Suarez · Rating: 5 out of 5 stars]

-Labis na saya ang naramdaman ng puso ko. Namangha ako habang binabasa ko ang kwento nila Dr. Henrietta at Stefanio. Hindi ko akalain na bukod sa inaasahan ko na hapdi, abay umuulan ng kilig at kwelang ngiti. "Hay napapailing na nga lang ako, kasi yung kilig, ramdam ko hanggang kilikili".

Napuno ng "notes" halos yung kada tsapter na nabasa ko. Namangha ako dahil nang simulan ko, halos ayaw ko nang tigilan.

Parang may mahika yung kada linyahan. Simple yung atake pero ang lalim ng pinaghuhugutan ng mga karakter.

Attached at invested na akong sundan ang love stories ng mga kaibigan ni Henri. Nakakatuwa ang samahan nila. Ramdam ko at eksayted na ako para Kuya Pippo. (sakin na po s'ya).

At ang ending, Whahaha! Ms. Belle, mukhang magkaka-book hangover ako. Pers tym ko mag-rerequest. Please po dugtungan nyo pa. Di yata ako makakatulog...

Kidding aside. Salamuchie po sa pag create ng story nila Stefie baby at Henri. Totoong may second chance. Di lang sa love pati sa life. Ang hopeful. I lab it super!