A Doomed Fight and Not So Great Landing

By Tim Paulson

No risk no reward... but also no dismemberment.

Max has made powerful enemies who will stop at nothing to hunt him down and stuff his skull into a trophy case. The smartest thing would be to get as far away as he can, fast. Yet there's a village of goblins asking for his help and they're offering something tantalizing in return: an airship.

Should Max try to be a hero, even though he knows his win over the paladin was a fluke? Should he risk his bony neck on the off chance he can score a sweet low mileage propeller-driven dream? Will he find some half-decent gear that he can actually wear? Or will it all come crashing down?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Tim Paulson
• Release date: Jun 6, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224304950

Tim Paulson

I am Tim Paulson, and I write books.Baneslayer, my new book in the System of Nil, is now available in ebook, paperback, and audiobook! I plan for the System of Nil to have five huge books, each more exciting than the last. The pre-order for book two is here!The Bone Knight audiobooks are on the way. Book one is already done and available on Audible. I wanted to finish Baneslayer's audiobook before I continued with Bone Knight two, and that took quite a while because it's BIG.If you've enjoyed my books, please leave a review. It helps me feed the pit of monsters, who are always, always hungry.Thank you!-Tim

Book preview

1

FIRES OF SHAME AND ROASTY TOASTY MEAT

Niall waited, while the chant completed. The incense swung beside him, filling his nose with the pungent but not unwelcome odors. It functioned to cleanse a man's body and soul of impurities, of filth. By Cerathia he surely needed it. Despite his recent rebirth, naked and screaming, from the pools of his order he still felt soiled by that creature, that undead.

The priests swung around to bow low, hands clasped in prayer. Their pure white robes were adorned with the symbols of the four cardinal virtues: Devotion, Purity, Wisdom, and Commitment. The ceremony was coming to a close. Niall took the time to go over the prayer of the slayer in his mind one last time.

Blessed arrow of light

hallowed be thy quest

to scour the land, the sea, and the air

to seek them all no matter where

to pierce their black hearts

and crush their bones to dust

the unholy shall be cleansed

The rite completed, the priests parted without a word. Niall stood motionless before the golden gate to the upper halls. Though he'd never before asked to enter the upper halls, he knew it was customary for the gate guardians to wait thirty-six seconds before opening. The sacred number. The four virtues multiplied by the number of Cerathia's sons.

When the gate opened he proceeded up the curving stairs. They'd been carved of white marble yet were still perfectly smooth and sharp, despite having existed for a thousand years. It testified to how few entered the upper vaults.

He had to be careful.

At the top, two slaves awaited him. One held out a hand expectantly. Niall almost instinctively reached out to grasp it, but caught himself. This was a slave. Even though they'd probably come from a similar station, Niall had been admitted as a guest. Cerathia had smiled upon him. It only served as proof of her love. Even in death, he had been gifted.

He handed a small slip of paper to the slave. The man nodded, gesturing toward a marble seat nearby.

The stairs had been many and Niall's body was new and weak from resurrection so he sat without complaint. It wasn't long. Only an hour had elapsed when a hulking beast of a man appeared in the doorway. He wore the draping robes of house Pioshus cinched up with a golden belt and a faux chest plate to denote his status as a paladin.

Niall fell to one knee.

My lord, he said.

The tall paladin stood over him, hands on hips. Tell me, he ordered.

Niall kept his eyes down. He'd been rehearsing this in his head for hours. It had to come out perfectly or he might not survive this encounter.

I was killed yesterday in a valley to the west of the frontier city of Celain. My order revived me this morning-

Putting you in considerable debt, the paladin said.

Niall nodded, keeping his head down as he did. He knew the conclusion was obvious, debt implied the disfavor of the gods. It made one seem desperate and by extension untrustworthy. He must choose his next words carefully.

I was killed by an undead like none I have ever seen. He spoke... he... he argued with me!

THAT IS A LIE! the paladin roared. He put a foot on Niall's shoulder and pushed, knocking him on his back.

Reflexively his eyes went up. He saw a heavy steel mace, gleaming, and two furious eyes. Quickly, he averted his gaze. You never looked upon them unless they asked you to.

No... no...

IT IS! Why do you think you waited here for so long? Do you think me a fool?! I read your confession, I looked at your record. I know who you are. You're weak, and poor, from a disgraced family driven from Verian more than a century ago. Now tell me the truth or I'll kill you right here and pay your order the trivial amount of money it would take to ensure you are never resurrected.

Yes... L... Lord, Niall said. His guts were seizing on him, turning in knots. He'd killed skeletons, werewolves, dark mages... but never had he felt the fear he did now. Truly this paladin was chosen by the gods. He envied him. I meant to say that I was killed by the murdering barbarian Raeg... b-but when that happened I was questioning the skeleton. I wanted to determine his origin.

But you found out nothing. He lied to you.

Niall nodded, keeping his eyes to the marble floor, tracing the faint lines there with an imaginary finger, trying to remain calm.

Yes... but I have an idea.

How did you know I was here? the paladin asked. His voice was quieter now, but still stern.

It... it... only made sense. We hear things in the lower halls. It is rare for slaves to bring the elements to the upper pools. Word travels quickly.

Indeed, the paladin said. Niall saw the mace lower out of the corner of his eye. What is the idea you have about this unholy creature?

As you read lord, the skeleton told me he was looking for the barbarian. That means they must have met prior to where I found him.

Go on.

Further, when I encountered the barbarian he was camping in a wood to the northwest of Celain. He had many items of note, including, I remember, the robe of a necromancer. I didn't take any of them as they had little value and my order forbids it, Niall said.

So you believe this undead may have been summoned by a necromancer?

Somewhere near the place, I found the barbarian, yes, lord.

The paladin made a grumbling noise as if considering the information. You may rise.

Niall did, slowly, still keeping his eyes from the face of the paladin.

Niall of Ghalarem. I will take you into my service as an indenture.

Elation filled him. Cerathia be praised! To serve a great line like Pioshus! As a boy in the slop blocks, he'd never allowed himself to imagine something so grand. It would have been a sin just to think it. Somehow he'd known it was Cerathia's hand that led that skeleton to him. His unwavering faith had borne fruit at last.

Knowing your history, where you have come from, how you've risen, I'm sure you understand the power of shame, the paladin said.

I do, lord, Niall replied.

This skeleton has caused my death and taken my prized possessions, he smashed the mace into the bench where Niall had been waiting, cracking it in one blow. He must suffer and be destroyed. Do you understand?

Yes lord, Cerathia demands it.

SO DO I!!! the paladin roared.

Niall only nodded, his hands clasped in a gesture of supplication.

We must find out everything we can about this... Boneknight, the paladin said. So I may kill him.

Yes lord, Niall repeated with joy in his heart.

And let's not discuss this with others. Not your order, not mine. Do you understand? the paladin asked.

I do my lord.

Good. This creature who calls himself Boneknight will be MINE.

They'd all gathered around the fire at the center of the Goblin village. Several chunks of white jiggling flesh sizzled over spits slowly turned by short green-skinned cooks. Raeg sat cross-legged on the ground staring up at the revolving lumps. He looked both repulsed and ravenous at the same time.

Max was glad not to have to make that decision. His body had no need for food and with the sun setting over the hills behind him soon enough the moon would rise and his hit points and magic would renew on their own. If the moon was still full.

Ciara saw him looking up. Soon Max, the dark king does everything in his own time. Isn't that right gran?

The old goblin nodded her head. It is. May his darkness bless us all.

Raeg shook his head, looking into the fire.

What? Max asked him.

It's nuthin’, Raeg replied. He looked sullen, even pensive. Max wanted to know what his party member was thinking, but he also knew how stubborn the barbarian was. Probably better to leave it.

So you said you have a plan? Max asked. Because Raeg and I could already be on our way to the mountains.

Oh no... Raeg said without turning his head. I told you I'm not going inside those damned caves. Nothin’ but trouble there.

But you found me in a cave, Max replied.

Raeg turned, his brown eyes bored holes in Max's skull. Yep.

Don't worry, barbarian. You won't have to enter any caves, Ciara said. As long as everyone follows the plan, it should work out well enough.

Max sighed. Isn't that what General Custer said? Max had played a ton of team games, many thousands if he was being honest, and one thing you learned very quickly was that plans made before you'd seen the enemy, weren't worth a single shit.

Ciara's eyes narrowed. Who is that?

Max shook his head. It's not important. Continue.

The new goblin queen paused, looking at him for a moment. Don't get a fat skull because you got a few levels! I know this place. These are my people. That town where they were holding me was our town."

Max tilted his head. Yeah, I heard about that.

Ciara's paused. Really? Who told you that?

Some old goblin living in tunnels near the river.

Ciara tilted her head. That's... What was his name?

Bob, Max replied. He told me...

The old goblin swooned, barely managing to hold herself upright with her cane. Ciara jumped to her side, pulling her back up.

What's wrong with her? Raeg asked.

Ciara scowled at Max. Don't say things like that! I don't know how you know about my grandfather but don't act like you've met him!

But... I... There must be some mistake, Max replied. It was just some old goblin. I was drawn there by this smell of something amazing. He said it was... Uh. Muck Cabbage?

Murk cabbage, Nan whispered. He made it every fall and we ate it all winter.

Wow, well I'm glad I was able to tell you he's still alive, Max said. And still cookin' up cabbage.

The old goblin whimpered, pushing her head into Ciara's shoulder.

Stop it! Ciara said. He's dead! What you saw was a hallucination! He was killed more than two decades ago, I saw it myself.

Oh, Max said.

Ciara patted her Nan on the shoulder, looking off into the distance. My grandfather was a great king. When they burned us out of the caves with their holy fire, he brought our people together to build the town the humans call Celain.

The old goblin pointed her cane at Max. I remember it all. When the humans decided that taking our gold wasn't enough, that we had to mine for them, they pushed us out. They stole the village for themselves and built their accursed walls around it.

Ciara spit into the fire. Walls... what a stupid defense.

They seem to work pretty good to me, Raeg said, now holding a lump of steaming charred white flesh. The look on his face was pained as he tried to decide whether to take a bite.

Seem to, is right! Ciara said. Walls are for fools. They only keep out the least determined attackers. Their true purpose is to lull those inside into thinking they're protected.

So had Max seen the old goblin king's ghost? Had it really been a hallucination? He didn't know, but he could tell pushing that line of questioning now would be a mistake. So I take it you have some way to get past the walls? Max asked.

Ciara pointed to him. Yes, I do! Actually, there are four ways in. You took the most obvious one. Wyk knows to use that one whenever someone might be followed.

Four ways? Maybe Ciara's plan might not be so bad after all.

Ok so that means there are now three ways that their leader doesn't know about? Max asked.

Exactly, Ciara replied. We'll use the one near the river on the south side of the town. The trees are high there and Commodore Gilead is too stupid to know to cut them down.

Of course that's the case, granny Joan said. We haven't attacked them in two hundred years.

Whaaat? Raeg said through a mouthful of something.

Apparently his hunger had wrestled his disgust and won. When Max looked over at him it looked like he'd just eaten three giant-sized toasted marshmallows. Charred goo covered his mouth.

You ate that? Max asked.

Raeg shrugged. Iss sssurpwisingwy goog. He then pointed at Ciara. Cwan any off thesse gobbins fight?

Ciara's eyes fell to the fire. Not really, no.

So those spears they chased us with are for show? Max asked.

No... they can do damage. It's just that... I'm the only person in the village besides Grandma Joan who's over level one, Ciara said.

Max looked at the old woman. And how high is her level?

Grandma Joan winked at him. Two... but I think another one might come any day.

No wonder you want our help, Max said.

Ciara nodded, sighing. They took our weapons, they work us in the mines. We never have time to do the rituals or hunt or do any of the things that kept us true to ourselves.

Yeah hyeah, Raeg mumbled, waving a big calloused hand as he grabbed another skewer of the juicy white meat. Wee hed it befwoh.

Ciara frowned, looking at Max.

He means your father, the king who ran off, he told us that, Max said.

That time he was telling the truth, she said, grimacing. Though he helped keep us that way. To get any levels at all I had to leave this place and travel the mountains. I only just got back last year. I thought I could change things, but they put a collar on me before I'd even realized it.

So how do we attack a village if we only have three fighters? Max asked. The airship is still there. There must be more soldiers inside.

Ciara nodded. Yes.

So what's the plan? Storm the airship and ride it to safety?

The goblin shook her head. I don't want the airship, she said. Like I told you before. It's yours.

Why? Max asked. Can't we use it to take your people somewhere safe?

Ciara shook her head. That one's not big enough and it's slow. We'd have to take too many trips. We'd risk being seen. No, I don't want the airship. I want supplies.

What kind of supplies? Max asked.

Food, mostly, but also tools. Then we'll leave this place and head back into the hills. We'll follow the tunnels west, dig more if we have to. The mountains get big that way and the air thin. The range is called the Valcas. The humans don't go there, but we're smaller, we can survive, even thrive, Ciara replied.

With your help we already handled most of the guards, Max said. All we really need to worry about are the soldiers from the airship.

Ciara shook her head. No. We need to worry about the mage.

2

TASTY TARGETS AND JUMPING THE SHARK

There's a mage? Max asked.

Yes, the old goblin woman said. A mage of light. By now he's healed all the soldiers you didn't kill. Likely setting wards as well.

A MAAG? COUN ME OUDT! Raeg tried to yell through the gook that had dribbled down into his beard forming a thick mat like tile grout.

Max patted his barbarian friend's arm. Ciara said she has a plan.

I do... and I don't think he's setting wards. I doubt they think we'll attack. I'm surprised they haven't come with the airship to bomb our village as you said.

Max shrugged. Maybe the eye demon wasn't as reliable as he claimed to be. They could still be looking for their paladin.

Ha! Raeg said, finally having cleared his lips of the sticky meat. I doubt they think he died. They'd sooner expect him to wander off in the woods than be killed by a single skeleton.

Thanks, Max said.

Regardless, Ciara said. The plan has three parts. It is relatively simple: We set a fire on the far side. That's part one. I'll do that. Then the mage will come to put it out.

Oh he's the local fire marshal eh? Max asked.

Ciara just looked at him. I... guess?

So you want Raeg and me to grab him or chop him up or... whatever? Max asked.

Raeg shook his head, sinking his teeth into another skewer of goo.

No, Ciara said. You and your barbarian companion are two of the worst classes against magic. It wouldn't matter that the mage is only level three. He would destroy you, both of you.

Oh, Max replied. He could change his class, but the new class would be at level one, with no equipment. It would be a gamble.

I'll handle the mage, Ciara said. We just have to get to him while he's using up his magic to quell the fire. It'll be easy.

If you say so, Max said.

What you do won't be so easy, she said.

Raeg frowned, Whutf af suspise!

You are the third and most crucial part of the plan. You must attack the airship and kill as many of its soldiers as you can, Ciara said. The Celain guards will come out to help them but with no mage even twenty Lansalis soldiers shouldn't be a problem for you two at your levels. I'll join you once my people have secured the supplies and are on their way out.

Ok, Max said.

Ciara stared at him. That's it? Just ok?

Max nodded. I'm trying to get more levels. Fighting is how I do it. Not to mention that when we win, I get an airship.

Alright then. Let's go! Ciara said, and the goblins cheered her.

The moon came out not too long after, refilling Max's health and magic, making him feel whole again and finally banishing his lingering headache. It was amazing the peace of mind that full health brought, especially when it was sixty six health, and not one or seven. It was weird to be a skeleton and feel better than he'd ever felt but it was true, he did. He wondered if he'd ever actually had full health back at home. Ninety percent of what he and Ellis had consumed over the last year was pizza, soda, or booze. Probably not.

They were a sorry looking lot as they marched down the valley. Twenty-one goblins, a skeleton, a barbarian, and ten giant bugs with sleds lashed to them that the goblins called guggs. With the way the bugs moved, that furtive crawling motion, Max could see how they were meant for caves. Probably the goblins had kept them deep underground. They too had been forced out into the light. That was one constant with these light people. They certainly enjoyed compelling others to change.

Max sighed. No. He shouldn't be that way. Not everyone on the other side is evil. That was how evil people thought. He might be a skeleton but he would not be evil. Surely at some point, he would meet people from the light who were friendly and good and didn't torture him with water. He hoped so anyway.

So what are we doing? Raeg asked, walking up beside him. Remnants of his earlier feasting still caked his beard. It looked like he'd eaten about seventy s'mores.

You were there. You heard the plan, Max said. It was only a few hours ago.

Raeg shrugged. "I'm gonna be honest. I wasn't