It's Been Good!: The Life and Death of Two Daughters

By Dan Hardy

IT'S BEEN GOOD!

It's Been Good! is the title of an inspiring book about the victorious life and death story of two daughters.

It's Been Good! tells about the family life in which these girls grew up - the good, bad, and ugly.

It's Been Good! will cause you to laugh and cry and remem

• Language: English
• Publisher: Trilogy Christian Publishing
• Release date: Nov 3, 2023
• ISBN: 9798890412935

Book preview

It’s Been Good

The life and death of two daughters

Dan Hardy

Trilogy Christian Publishers

TUSTIN, CA

Trilogy Christian Publishers

A Wholly Owned Subsidiary of Trinity Broadcasting Network

2442 Michelle Drive

Tustin, CA 92780

It’s Been Good

Copyright © 2023 by Dan Hardy

Scripture quotations marked CEB are taken from the COMMON ENGLISH BIBLE.

Scripture quotations marked (NLT) are taken from the Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture quotations marked (NIV) are taken from the Holy Bible, New International Version, NIV. Copyright c 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc. tm Used by permission of Zondervan. All rights reserved worldwide. www.zondervan.com The NIV and New International Version are trademarks registered in the United States Patent and Trademark Office by Biblica, Inc. ™

Scripture quotations marked (TLB) are taken from The Living Bible, copyright © 1971 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.

Scripture marked NASB are taken from the New American Standard Bible (NASB) Copyright c 1960, 1962, 1963,1968,1971,1972,1973,1975,1977,1995 by The Lockman Foundation. Used by permission.

Scriptures marked ESV are taken from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version (ESV) Copyright © 2001 by Crossway, a publishing ministry of Good News Publishers. Used by permission.

Scriptures marked NKJV are taken from the New King James Version (NKJV) Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved. Public domain.

No part of this book may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted by any means without written permission from the author. All rights reserved. Printed in the USA.

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Trilogy Christian Publishing/TBN and colophon are trademarks of Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Cover design by Jeff Summers

For information about special discounts for bulk purchases, please contact Trilogy Christian Publishing.

Trilogy Disclaimer: The views and content expressed in this book are those of the author and may not necessarily reflect the views and doctrine of Trilogy Christian Publishing or the Trinity Broadcasting Network.

Manufactured in the United States of America

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Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data is available.

ISBN: 979-8-89041-292-8

E-ISBN: 979-8-89041-293-5 (e-book)

Dedication

Dedicated to our grandchildren with the prayer that God will make this book a blessing to each of you:

Bryan Cole, Sean Cole, Seth Cole, Marissa Poulson, Michael Young, Joe Pollitt, Amanda Leyva, Brittany Alia, Joshua Gates, David Gates, D. J. Gates, Megan Gates, Becky Elliott, Amanda Cassaro, Zach Cassaro, Alisha Hardy, Lauren Brandt.

Acknowledgments

This book required the collaboration of many family members and friends. My special thanks to my wife, Jan, for the hours she spent scrapbooking the history of our family and then typing the book on the computer from my handwritten pages. She also served as a consultant on every page.

A special thank-you to our daughter, Lana Gates, a gifted full-time editor, for the first editing of this book. Lana has also authored a book entitled Help! I’m a Science Project. In the book, she tells of her own battle with breast cancer.

Contents

Chapter 1: Two Rockets

Chapter 2: In the Beginning

Chapter 3: Sharon Growing Up

Chapter 4: The Test

Chapter 5: Sharon as a Big Sister

Chapter 6: Gayle Comes Home

Chapter 7: Time to Find a New Home

Chapter 8: Stephen Is Born

Chapter 9: Cross-Country Move

Chapter 10: A New Beginning in Oregon

Chapter 11: The Church

Chapter 12: Family Life in Ashland

Chapter 13: Big Changes

Chapter 14: Overwhelmed

Chapter 15: A New Pastor Arrives

Chapter 16: Mill City, Oregon

Chapter 17: Coming Change

Chapter 18: Getting Started in Arizona

Chapter 19: Higley House

Chapter 20: Moving to Michigan

Chapter 21: Family Life in Michigan

Chapter 22: Back to Arizona

Chapter 23: Family Life in Arizona

Chapter 24: The Wood Toy Business

Chapter 25: Life with Teenagers

Chapter 26: Sharon’s Victories

Chapter 27: Sharon’s Engagement

Chapter 28: Sharon’s Wedding and Move to Hawaii

Chapter 29: Family Hawaii Vacation

Chapter 30: Normal Life Resumes

Chapter 31: Florida-Michigan Vacation

Chapter 32: Two Engagements

Chapter 33: Two Weddings

Chapter 34: Two Grandchildren

Chapter 35: Gayle Got Fired

Chapter 36: 1992 Family Vacation

Chapter 37: Moving Again

Chapter 38: Steve and Dana’s Wedding

Chapter 39: Two More Grandsons

Chapter 40: Back Together Again

Chapter 41: Growing Family

Chapter 42: The Confrontation

Chapter 43: Sharon’s Cancer Story Begins

Chapter 44: Moving Back to Mesa

Chapter 45: Sharon’s Cancer Story Continues

Chapter 46: I’m Going to Live Until I Die

Chapter 47: Difficult Last Days

Chapter 48: Celebration Service

Chapter 49: The Decision

Chapter 50: An Empty Vessel, Part 1

Chapter 51: Life Goes On

Chapter 52: Making Family Memories

Chapter 53: An Empty Vessel, Part 2

Chapter 54: The End Is in Sight

Chapter 55: Mother/Daughter Banquet Speech

Chapter 56: Shared Message with Pastor Rod

Chapter 57: Big Disappointments

Chapter 58: The Last Two Months

Chapter 59: Call the Family

Chapter 60: Perfect Peace

Chapter 61: Gayle’s Homegoing Service

Chapter 62: In Loving Memory

Chapter 63: Afterglow

Chapter 64: Plan of Salvation

• Chapter 1 •

Two Rockets

On June 10, 1999, we were living in Gilbert, Arizona. Our daughter Sharon’s cancer had returned shortly after we had moved back to the Valley of the Sun from Safford, Arizona. A little after 3 a.m., I woke up with a desire to go for a prayer walk along the canal. Most mornings back then, I enjoyed having a three-to-four-mile prayer walk, but never this early. I felt that God had awakened me that morning, asking me to meet Him along the canal. As I walked, we enjoyed sweet fellowship.

Around 4 a.m., I reached Warner Road, just east of Gilbert Road, and turned around on the other side of the canal to head northeast toward home. Shortly after my turn, two rockets took off in the east. As they ascended in the sky, the afterburn of the southernmost rocket began to light up the blackness with the most glowing, radiant colors, reflecting the rising eastern sun.

My first thought was that perhaps World War III was beginning. I stopped dead in my tracks with my mouth wide open and fell to my knees on the gravel road alongside the canal. Lord! What are You trying to tell me? I cried out loud as I stared at the ever-growing brilliance of the glorious sky. After all, I was convinced it was God who had awakened me that morning and had brought me to this spot at this exact time so that He could speak to me through this amazing display of man’s achievement, brought to light by His luminous creation.

I found out later that the rockets, part of the National Missile Defense System Development Program, had originated from White Sands, New Mexico. The first rocket had launched 120 miles north of where the second missile lifted off. Both appeared in the sky at the same time, or so it seemed. The first missile went straight up, white with no real color, probably because I was looking more north than east at it.

As I stood there on my knees, looking and pondering, it was as if God was telling me He was going to take Sharon home, but that the afterglow of her life would far outshine her short time on Earth. I wondered if that first rocket had a message for me. Why did it appear so different? Was it just extra?

I headed home with tears in my eyes. The sky grew brighter and brighter. It continued to glow into one of the most glorious sunrises I have ever seen. I believe it lasted for around forty minutes or more. I saw a picture of it in the next day’s newspaper.

After getting home, I opened the front door, which happened to face east. While sitting on the sofa and looking intently at that radiant, glorious sky, tears continued to flow without restraint. My first daughter was going home early. Although the message seemed clear, I did not lose hope for a full recovery for Sharon. I knew from the beginning that one way or another, this too would pass. God was going to heal Sharon, either here or in heaven. On October 16, 1999, at age thirty-two, Sharon left this world and entered heaven.

When I consider how God got me up to see those rockets, it makes me realize how much He delights in the details of our lives. He truly knows everything that is happening in our world. Nothing takes Him by surprise.

Five years later, our daughter Gayle was speaking at her church on a Sunday night. She had been living with cancer for five years. Through her struggles, she had grown in love and character and had much to share with those around her. After she spoke, I had a chance to visit with her at the church. It was then that I told her the rocket story for the first time. I told her that after Sharon’s cancer came back, I went for a walk, but when her cancer came back, I didn’t go for a walk.

The next morning as I was driving down the freeway, I suddenly remembered there were two rockets. No! Not again, Lord, I screamed. Tears flowed like a waterfall. It was dangerous for me to be driving. I can’t do this again, Lord, I cried. Somehow in the midst of all that, God began to comfort me then and there.

On February 28, 2005, at about 4 a.m., Gayle took her last breath at age thirty-four. Right before that, her lips were moving. Although her husband, Mike, his mom, and I couldn’t understand what she was saying, we knew it was very good.

Sharon

Gayle

• Chapter 2 •

In the Beginning

Jan and I got married on November 27, 1965. She had graduated from Michael Reese Hospital and Medical Center School of Nursing in Chicago, and I was working as a time clerk in Benton Harbor, Michigan. She got a job as a registered nurse (RN) at St. Joseph Memorial Hospital in St. Joseph, Michigan. We moved into a beautiful duplex in Stevensville, Michigan. Shortly after we began our married life, I received a draft notice in the mail. I was ordered to get my military physical in Detroit, Michigan. So, I boarded a bus with a load of other military candidates, and off we went.

I was classified as 1A. We had just gotten married and had a lot going on. We were involved in church, and I didn’t want to leave my young bride. Jan thought it might be all right for me to go into the service. Then she could join me as an RN, and maybe we could go together. That didn’t sound like a good idea to me. The Vietnam War was happening. I wasn’t afraid to go, but I felt that I should do all I could to try to stay out of the war. If that didn’t work, then I would gladly go. So, I quit my job and went back to school full-time.

Attending school exempted one from the draft at that time. However, you needed to be attending school before you received your draft notice. I knew two men on the draft board, and somehow, they let me get out of the draft.

We became pregnant, so I finished my classes and then got a job at Whirlpool in Benton Harbor. Having a child also exempted me from the draft. I thought if I had gone to war, I would have likely died there, as many did. I had very little fear, and I’ve always been a risk-taker. If my draft notice had come before we had married, I would not have tried to get out of serving in the military.

Back then, no one knew the gender until the baby was born. Everyone told us it was a boy. The way Jan carried the baby and lots of other clues convinced us it was a boy, but alas, not so. Our beautiful, eight-pound, seven-ounce big girl without a name entered the world on March 14, 1967. Three days later, we finally named her Sharon Joy, after the flower rose of Sharon.

With the birth of Sharon, our lives changed dramatically, as all young parents know. No longer could we just run to the car and take off. Every trip required a diaper check and, often, a change. And the diaper bag had to be packed. At night we faced numerous interruptions when Sharon had a stomachache or something we couldn’t satisfy with a feeding. I would get up and rock her in the old rocking chair that had been in Jan’s family for many years. I loved cuddling Sharon in my arms, patting her on her back, and talking to her. Sometimes when nothing seemed to help, I would pray earnestly for her as we continued to rock back and forth. Such precious moments bring great joy even today as I take time to remember them.

Sharon was a happy baby. We liked taking her with us. It was such a joy to share her with family and friends. When Sharon was four months old, we took her to the beach at Lake Michigan. She was in awe of her new environment—the sand, the water, and the wind. We sat her down in the sand, not on a blanket. She didn’t know what to think. Soon she lost her balance and toppled over, face down in the sand. When Jan picked Sharon up, her face was covered with sticky sand. She required a lot of cleaning and even more comforting.

Every day with Sharon was full of joy. She loved to learn and explore everything around her. She was a great entertainer for her mom and dad.

• Chapter 3 •

Sharon Growing Up

I remember always looking forward to the next event for Sharon—when she would begin to crawl, take her first step, start talking, and so on. Little did I realize how fast these developments would come and go. Although we thoroughly enjoyed every event, I quickly realized how precious every day was.

Psalm 118:24 (NKJV) says, This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it. Through the seventy-eight years of my life, I have learned and am still learning that every day, even in times of apparent tragedy and pain, can be a good day. James 1:2–4 (NLT) puts it this way: When troubles of any kind come your way, consider it an opportunity for great joy. For you know that when your faith is tested, your endurance has a chance to grow.

Right from the beginning, Sharon had an inborn love for children. She was only eight months old when she held her baby cousin, Beth. Sharon smiled cutely as she checked Beth all out.

One month later, when Sharon was nine months old, Jan helped her open her first baby doll. She was fascinated with this little creation, as Jan pointed out all of its details on Christ mas Eve. I bought Sharon a cheap walker for Christmas and gave it to her early on Christmas Eve day. I put her in it and pushed her around our little garage that I had converted into our one-bedroom, one-bathroom house. She squealed and laughed nonstop. Her feet touched the floor, and as I pushed her, she was forced to run. Time and again, she wanted to get in the walker and have me push her. Near the end of the day, I lifted her out of it and stood her up on the floor by herself. Lo and behold, she began walking on her own, with her mouth wide open.

In February, our German shepherd, Fresca, had ten puppies in our kitchen. Sharon loved Fresca and enjoyed playing with all the puppies.

The next Christmas, Sharon was found pushing another baby doll around in a toy stroller at Grandma and Grandpa Sonnenberg’s house. She took this job seriously and seemed proud and mature as she took care of her new responsibilities.

Our photo albums remind us of many happy events that took place throughout those early years: Sharon on a sled in the snow, sitting in her little rocking chair, riding her first tricycle, pushing her doll in her stroller, riding her plastic horse on wheels, and helping Jan and me whenever she could.

• Chapter 4 •

The Test

We used to go to church on both Sunday morning and night. One Sunday night near the end of the service, when Sharon was around one year old, she decided to take a songbook out of the rack in front of us and throw it on the floor. This was no accident. She was unhappy with me for some reason and decided to show her displeasure in this way. She had been standing between the pews and playing with things on our seats.

I told her to pick up the songbook and put it back. With stubborn determination, she refused, pretending to ignore me. This was Sharon’s first wholehearted challenge to my authority as her father. You may think she was so young that she didn’t really know what she was doing, but she knew. The challenge was clearly on. After several verbal attempts to get her to pick up the songbook and put it back in the rack, I scooped her up and took her downstairs. I gave her a spanking and told her we were not going home until she picked up the book. With tears in her eyes, she cuddled close to my chest. As we went back into the sanctuary, I knew the battle was not over.

The service had ended, and Sharon still refused to pick up the book. She would look at it on the floor and then turn away. I kept her close to me as people started leaving. I told Jan to go out and visit, and I would stay with Sharon until this was settled. Everyone had left the room. Sharon and I sat for maybe five minutes. Sharon wanted to go. I told her that when she was willing to pick up the book, we would go. All was quiet once again, and then Sharon decided she was ready to pick up the book. As she started down for it, someone turned off all the lights in the room, thinking it was empty. I picked up the book in the dark, put it back, and we walked out.

The battle was over. After that, I don’t ever remember Sharon testing my authority as her father with such determination.

• Chapter 5 •

Sharon as a Big Sister

Sharon had just turned two years old when we brought home her first baby sister, Lana. Sharon sat up in her crib, wearing her usual bright smile as Jan brought her sister close to her. She looked over this live baby doll that Mommy had brought home for her to play with.

Jan went and sat down on a chair in the living room. Sharon crawled out of her crib, something she did regularly at that point, and quickly followed. She scurried up on a chair next to Jan, put her arms on the arm of Jan’s chair, and leaned in to thoroughly check out her new sister.

Sharon wanted to hold Lana. We sat Sharon on the sofa, close to the arm of the couch, and gently laid our second little girl