Killing Rejection

By Glena Oyiadjo

Killing Rejection with Seven Progress Steps Towards Your Inner Freedom is the Self-help book that addresses the issues that are faced by people who are suffering silently with the effects from their experience of rejection that they faced in life, whether in the past or currently.
Rejection can stem from different avenues at any point in a persons' life and it can also effect the course of ones life when if comes to making good progress.
If yourself or someone you know is struggling with different aspects of life because of the stronghold of rejection, then this book offers its readers the support in overcoming rejection. It is time to 'KILL REJECTION, TAKE AUTHORITY, (and) MAKE PROGRESS'.

• Language: English
• Publisher: POWER Mouth
• Release date: Jun 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9781739551018

Book preview

KILLING REJECTION

Seven Steps to help you

KILL REJECTION, TAKE AUTHORITY

and MAKE PROGRESS

Copyright © 2023 Glena Oyiadjo

All rights reserved.

Cover Design by Glena Oyiadjo

Book design by Glena Oyiadjo

No part of this book can be reproduced in any form or by written, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information retrieval system without written permission in writing by the author.

Published by POWER Mouth

Although every precaution has been taken in the preparation of this book 'Killing Rejection', the publisher and author assume no responsibility for errors or omissions. Neither is any liability assumed for damages resulting from the use of information contained herein.

ISBN 9781739551018

The stone that the builders rejected has now become the cornerstone.

Psalm 118:22 NLT

Contents

KILLING REJECTION

Dedication

PREFACE

INTRODUCTION

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

CHAPTER TEN

CLOSING THOUGHTS

CHAPTER-BY-CHAPTER RECAP

AFFIRMATION STATION    

ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS

ABOUT THE AUTHOR

PREFACE

I am a wife, mother, life speaker and a few other things in life that makes me feel extremely Blessed. I would say that I am very passionate about people’s lives and the ways in which they have been affected by the strongholds of rejection. When I see and hear the stories from many people whose personal development and wellbeing has been seriously halted, causing them to question their purpose, as well as giving up on pursuing their destiny, let us just say, that is a massive trigger to my ‘empathetic’ passion arising!

I don’t want to see anyone living their lives as a victim to rejection, especially for the long-term. In life a person may face many rejections in one form or another and that’s quite natural. It is the ‘staying under’ rejections stronghold that really gets under my skin, because I believe that everyone has greatness within them that should be released according to their purpose, of which they were created.

I grew up in South-East London in the mid-eighties and early nineties, with my three siblings. My childhood started off as a two-parent family upbringing that ended in divorce when I was in secondary school. Although going through a divorce can be devastating, I felt relief by the divorcing of my parents, which is quite sad on reflection, that a break up had to occur to feel some level of peace. A lot of the fear and uncertainty that had existed in my life and possibly that of my siblings, had stemmed from my parents’ deteriorating relationship tothe point of seemingly no return. Something had to give and unfortunately that was their marriage of 14 years.

As a child, I had lived my life in constant fear because of domestic abuse that caused a toxic atmosphere that had become my ‘normal’ home life. What has become more apparent to me over the years as I grew from a child into an adult, gaining more experience and understanding of life, is that my father had his struggles in loving himself and therefore could not extend that love to five other people even if he desired to.

I grew up very quickly as a result of all that had taken place within my childhood. My childhood has definitely shaped my outlook on life and made me who I am today.

Unfortunately, my life had been filled with numerous bouts of depression in my late teens and through to my mid and late twenties. I really hated myself during those points in my life. I didn’tlike who I was, how I looked, and I lacked purpose. There was definitely no self-love, but I remember always having a feeling that I held onto as a really young child: that I was going to do something really big with my life, not really knowing why or how I had owned that thought and feeling, but yet I still held onto it, even in the bleakest of times. At one point, I remember being in the lowest time of life and thinking that I may as well go lower and rest there for good, being six feet under because life was so unfulfilling, and ‘I was so over it.’ I had a lot of questions that didn’t seem to be getting answers, and I thought I was a waste of space in this world, and that God was really having a joke at the expense of my existence. Wow!

On reflection, and I mean my true deepest reflection, If I was asked if I would change anything that I had been through; I can resolutely say that I wouldn’t change a thing. Yes, it was a painful experience to have had gone through, it led me into a lot of unhealthy emotions that I was dealing with into my adulthood. But it is because of that time in my life that I have experienced, and continue to experience, the beauty from the ashes within my life. My mind is set on higher things because I was in a lower state for many years of my life. Today, I am able to mentor my own children, and whoever is open to my advice on setting their thoughts on higher things that will see them fulfil their destiny’s purpose.

I am grateful for the continuous healing and growth within my family. It is important that holistic healing is allowed to take its course, and within its own time. I strongly believe in focusing on what is to come as well as enjoying the present, and not dwelling in the past, because it is the things we see as well as don’t see before us, that counts. Whatever is behind us, is there for a reason.

There are great opportunities ahead of us to experience in building and maintaining healthy relationships, in paving a new direction in career or business, as well as improving our health through inner healing that will have a positive effect on our wellbeing, without having the limitations of our past preventing us from the limitless opportunities within these areas and more, if we focus on the now and after.

I will always remain thankful for the time of healing and for my progress in forgiving. For knowing my purpose, having faith and true love. So, to answer the question as to why I am passionate about killing rejection; it is because I once had felt rejected for many years of my life, and I am an overcomer. Currently in my forties at the time of writing this book, I understand how rejection can keep people from fulfilling their dreams, disabling their giftings and talents, because of the stronghold that rejection has over people’s mind, body, and soul.

You are more than capable of achieving great things throughout life. It is about stepping out and giving it a try. I did! In my late thirties, as a wife and a mum to five children, I answered the call to go to university, which was absolutely terrifying to me at that time as I hadn’t been in a class room for about twenty years. I had not done well in secondary school. In fact, if asked, I would do anything possible to avoid discussing the outcome of my secondary school final year exams! My poor exam results back then were the outcome of the incoming received in my life at that time, which was mostly negative. But I made the decision to ‘step out’ in that later stage of my life to grow in more knowledge for my own enrichment. It was not an easy road to take, but I got through gracefully and with a new appreciation for the action of ‘stepping out and trying.’

I graduated with a 2.1 Bachelors in International Business Studies and I am very proud of that award because of everything that I had endured during those three years of study, including my existing leadership duties at my home church, and running a big family home, whilst expecting my sixth child in my final year of studying.

What really made it worth it for me, was when I graduated and was able to have my mother accompany me to cheer me on, and boy did she do just that! I will never forget as long as I live, the scene of my mum jumping to her feet as I slowly paced the stage to receive my award, and with her arm stretched out in the air,my mum shouted out in the large auditorium Go G! You can accomplish anything you set your mind to! as I received my certificate. My mother’s shout of support, in my opinion, out-did the group shout-outs from the other families and friends. My mum is proud of all of her children, no matter where we are in life, and she made that fact known to all on that day of my graduation.

I will always be grateful to my mother for her strength in such very difficult times. Her love and fight for her children to make sure that we had the best, even working three jobs at the same time within the National Health Service - to which she has contributed nearly fifty years to, and still doesn’t know how to sit down! However, I do admire her determination, and always will.

My passion to see others thrive and break the barrier of stagnancy and non-development that limits them from pursuing their dreams and progressing in life will never cease, because I believe that everyone has the potential toovercome, and experience inner freedom. Throughout this book there are snippets of my life story, my personal experiences of rejection through living with it, as well as observing rejection. When it comes to rejection, you could say that I’ve been there and worn the T-shirt (so to speak!) and I am still a work in progress. Hallelujah! I will tell you something for free: ‘I will never clothe myself in rejection again. Burn t-shirt, burn!!’ What matters is ‘the now,’ and how I have been able to love me again, enough to want to see greatness unfold in my life that will bless others. When you put your mind to making changes for the better, you can and will absolutely do it.

I want to be clear at this point, that it is natural for anyone to have down days. Things can happen in life to throw us in a time of feeling not-so-great and it would be irresponsible of me to suggest that we are supposed to walk around with a smile permanently etched on our faces, or even to ignore the fact that there will be moments within our lives that will shake us, swiping joy right from within us. The underlyingmessage in ‘Killing Rejection’ is that you need to make progress in getting over those down days, so that your emotions won’t keep you hostage. It will not be easy, but it will be worth it to walk in freedom towards your future instead of being shackled to despair and living in the past.

May ‘Killing Rejection’ be a Blessing to you, as it has been for me to write it. Above all I pray that it will bring transformation to those tightly bound areas that restrict your greatness, so that you can unleash your beauty into the world where there is a place waiting for it. There is purpose behindyour pain, and now is the time to let your purpose go ahead of pain.

INTRODUCTION

If you have ever struggled with feelings of rejection in your personal life, you’ll know that it can be consuming and negatively dominate all areas of your life in ways that you’d rather it didn’t. Rejection isn’t a great feeling to live with because it can make you feel very vulnerable.

Rejection is the feeling of not belonging, not being accepted, and there are many different avenues that rejection can be experienced from. Whether through love relationships, parental relationships, industry, and profession related situations, cultural rejection and even bereavement. Wherever the rejection is experienced from; I am focusing on the emotional well-being of those who have been hit by the blows of rejection and need to come up from under that heavy weight of feeling rejected.

Maybe you are presently suffering from the seemingly never-ending torment of not being accepted, the constant fear of being rejected, of not feeling loved enough or

always being on ‘stand-by’ just in case the more talented or favoured person cannot deliver the goods. After all, everyone is prone to sick days, right? You may even be anticipating the time when your great relationship or dream job will suddenly expire, fuelled by your harboured fear of past experienced rejection.

Rejection is like a seed that grows into a mountain of different weeds that comes to cause chaos, creating a substantial amount of mess that chokes the life out of people, where the pressure that is felt is insurmountable.

These different types of weeds (*) consist of;

* All of these choking weeds mentioned, stems from the seed of rejection that was planted at some point within a person’s life which ultimately needs to be killed.

You may ask the question; Can Rejection Truly Be Killed?

Well, the answer to that is: the feeling or spirit of rejection - however you choose to classify it and depending upon your own personal beliefs - is like flu. You know that nasty annoying winter bug that usually appears during the cold season? The effects of the flu, attacks the body’s defence system, leaving it feeling vulnerable and run down. When people get the flu, they use remedies that tackle the symptoms and seem to get rid of the illness.  Those familiar symptoms may return during the next flu season, but because you can better identify the bug trying to close in, the intentional steps can be taken to stop it in its tracks. We are able to swiftly address the symptoms so that the flu doesn’t progress and prevent us from being effective in our daily routines.

We want to achieve the same outcome when going through the experience of rejection. When it tries to attach itself to us during re-occurring seasons within our lives and tries to take control of emotions that affect our daily functioning, we want to be able to identify it and stop it in its tracks by applying our own remedy: the power of positivity.

So, in short? YES! We can kill rejection, but we need to understand that it can resurface and we won’t always be greatly affected by it because just like the flu virus, people can successfully go through many seasons without being touched by the germ because of their strengthened immunesystem. In the case of resisting rejection, this is having the strong will power to not submit to rejection.

For us to stay on top and remain untouched, or even to be able to manage another wave efficiently, is down to how we use our abilities effectively to manage rejection and not let rejection manage us.

‘Killing Rejection’ is written with my heart’s desire in helping you to understand and come to terms with rejection, so that you can finally accept it for what it is, which is a hindrance, a bit like a massive boulder in the road that blocks your vision to the other side of your journey, and looks really difficult to get past. But yet with the right help, that boulder can be removed so that you can continue to make your progress steps in life. Once you’ve recognised how it has impacted your life, you will be able to successfully managerejection in order to move forward. If you feel stuck in a hole that seems to be slowly closing in on you as time goes by, then it’s time to say ‘Enough is Enough’!

PROGRESS ACRONYM:

PURPOSED

ROUTES

OF

GREATNESS

REQUIRES

EFFICIENT

SMALL

STEPS

For me, the word PROGRESS holds such a strong sense of value, healing, and purpose, all aligned with destiny. It was only right for me to come up with my own acronym as a clear guide in direction as to what is required to progress in life effectively! ‘Progress’ encompasses the greater heights that are achievable as well as the victorious position held, when having loosed oneself from procrastination.

Let me explain further; To make progress, there has to be purpose attached, and in making progress, a form of movement is needed. In life there are various routes that can be taken, but it is the routes of purpose within our lives that will bring the best out of life to us. These purposed routes are indeed routes of greatness because every step that is taken is greater than the last, but these steps also need to be efficient and well thought out. The last part of the acronym is ‘small steps’ as it is the small steps that are effective. Sometimes we get these great ideas of taking these big steps, that puts even more pressure on us and inevitably sets us up for a major fall. When we take consistent smaller steps that we can apply daily, it will eventually bring greater positive outcomes.

I have included Seven life changing Progress Steps that will take you from a place of being stuck, to soaring to new heights. I believe that progress can be made in applying these seven dynamic steps to your life because every step focuses on your personal wellbeing on various different levels, giving you control over the time that you spend on that step, optimising your healing and encouraging you to progress on to the next level. The number Seven’s spiritual and biblical meaning is fullness or completeness.

For me the number seven is the perfect number to represent your progress steps in healing, hopefully giving you the desire to want and enjoy the fullness of everything great within your life. When it comes to completeness, there should be a personal desire to feel whole, therefore always aiming to continuously progress in life and notgive up, returning to a dormant phase. I encourage you to take your time with these powerful steps, giving yourself enough time to really follow through with these seven steps and, most importantly, reflect on each step truthfully.

There are also fifty-two