Beyond Soft Skills

By Nurul Islam Laskar

'Beyond Soft Skills' is a compendium of abilities, aptitudes, competences, flairs, practices, and talents that can be mastered by anyone to go forward in life. It will benefit everyone irrespective of age or position in life. A youngster, out of college, can use this

• Language: English
• Publisher: BlueRose Publishers
• Release date: Jun 18, 2024
• ISBN: 9789364522533

Book preview

01 Motivational

Life is hard, but we can make it better

Life is difficult most of the times and yet we can live a great life despite the difficulties.

Everybody wants to be happy in life. We all want to live a perfect life. We want that great job or a successful business. We want to be married to Mr Right or Mrs Perfect. We want to have great kids. We want to have friends that stick by us come rain or sun. We want to be able to have all the material things life has to offer and have all our problems just vanish.

Definition of a good life varies from person to person. For one, it could be three square meals a day. For another, it may be having a huge mansion and a couple of million rupees in the bank.

In his famous book The Road Less Travelled, author M Scott Peck says, "Once we know that life is difficult - once we truly understand and accept it - then life is no longer difficult."

Irrespective of the definition of good life that each one of us has, all of us want that good life should be stress-free. We would like to have it without having to work so hard or struggle so much for it. That is a normal human expectation. Nobody likes to struggle through life. Unfortunately, that is also what may be stopping us from having that great life. The thought of all that work, all that planning, overcoming hurdles and resistance is enough to make a lot of us give up before even starting.

In life we will have difficulties getting anything we want. It is very rare to get anything in life without some degree of effort. Only if we win the lottery, we will have everything without effort, and even then, we would have had to go out and buy the lottery ticket anyway. So, it’s not free at all.

Life is hard, but we can strive and make it better.

Leadership Qualities

Leadership skills is one ingredient that everybody is looking for but it’s always in short supply. Whether one is an office manager or a project leader, all good leaders require a number of soft skills to help them positively interact with employees or team members, and even something more than these soft skills. Effective leaders have the ability to communicate, sell, motivate their team, handle and delegate responsibilities, listen to feedback, and have the flexibility to solve problems in an everchanging workplace.

As a leader one needs to be able to clearly and succinctly explain to her/his employees/team members everything from organisational goals to specific tasks. A large part of this communication will involve listening as well. Furthermore, leaders need to inspire their workers to go the extra mile for their organisations; just paying a fair salary to employees is typically not enough inspiration, although it is important too.

Leaders who try to take on too many tasks by themselves will struggle to get anything done. These leaders often fear that delegating tasks is a sign of weakness, when in fact it is a sign of a strong leader. Therefore, it is important to identify the skills of each of one’s employees, and assign duties to each of them based on her/his skill set.

A positive attitude can go a long way in a workplace. One should be able to laugh at oneself when something doesn’t go quite as planned; this helps create a happy and healthy work environment, even during busy, stressful times.

Workers need to be able to feel comfortable coming to their manager or leader with questions and concerns. It is important for one to demonstrate one’s integrity – employees will only trust leaders they respect. By being open and honest, one will encourage the same sort of honesty in one’s employees.

Lastly, as a leader, one has to make a number of decisions that do not have a clear answer; one therefore needs to be able to think out of the box.

The power of positive thinking

Positive thinking is a mental attitude in which one expects good and favourable results. In other words, positive thinking is the process of creating thoughts that produce and transform energy into reality. A positive mind waits for happiness, health, and a happy ending in any situation. So, start the day with a positive affirmation, focus on the good things however small, find humour in bad situations, and turn failures into lessons. Focus on the present and all through the day, find positive friends, mentors, and co-workers.

Positive thinking sounds useful on the surface. More now, research is beginning to reveal that positive thinking is about much more than just being happy or displaying an upbeat attitude. Positive thoughts can actually create real value in one’s life and help one build skills that last much longer than a smile. Further, positive thinking is very beneficial for one’s mental health primarily because it eliminates any form of paranoia and negative thoughts that can cause depression and stress.

Even a common cold, exhaustion, stress, hunger, sleep deprivation and allergies can make one depressed and that may lead one to negative thoughts. In many cases, depression can be caused by negative thinking itself. So, the best thing to do is to find the optimistic viewpoint in a negative situation, cultivate and live in a positive environment, and most importantly, not to make a mountain out of a molehill.

Use only positive words while talking, push out all feelings that aren’t positive, and ensure to use words that evoke strength and success. Every thought releases some type of chemical. When positive thoughts are generated, when one is feeling happy, or optimistic, cortisol decreases and the brain produces serotonin, creating a feeling of well-being. Dopamine is also a neurotransmitter that helps control the brain’s reward system and pleasure centre. Keep this in mind and no one can stop you from being positive in your thoughts.

Sweat over SWOT, and better yourself

You are most likely to succeed in life if you use your talents to their fullest extent. Similarly, you will suffer fewer problems if you know what your weaknesses are, and if you manage these weaknesses so that they don’t matter in the work you do.

So how you go about identifying these strengths and weaknesses, and analysing the opportunities and threats that flow from them? SWOT analysis is a useful technique that helps you do this.

SWOT stands for Strengths, Weaknesses, Opportunities, and Threats. Strengths and weaknesses are internal to an individual or a company – things that you have some control over. Opportunities and threats are extraneous over which you hardly have any control.

In order to do a SWOT analysis, take a A-4 size paper and draw a big square on it. Now divide the big square into four equal sized small squares. Earmark the top left square for ‘Strengths’, top right square for ‘Weaknesses’, bottom left square for ‘Opportunities’, and bottom right square for ‘Threats.’

Now, in each square you can make a list of items. For example, in the square meant for ‘Strengths’, you may write 1. I can understand my lesson in the classroom itself 2. I have good health. 3. My relations with my class friends is very cordial. The list can be a lengthy one. Similarly, you may make your list in other squares also.

Once you have made the lists for all the four squares, your next task will be to take one square at a time. As far as the squares of ‘Strengths’ and ‘Opportunities’ are concerned, you have to work hard to increase those strengths and opportunities in the list. Conversely, you have to reduce the weaknesses and threats in the two other squares. Over a period of time, the size of the squares on left should increase and the size of the squares on the right should decrease. In other words, your strengths and opportunities have increased, your weaknesses and threats are reduced. You are on your way up!

Don’t let sickness get the better of you

I am yet to come across a person who has never fallen ill. When you are sick, you just don’t feel like yourself most of the time. For common, acute short-term illnesses like the cold and the flu, there are a few things you can do to make yourself feel better. While you’ll still have to let the illness run its course, you can at least make things a little more bearable.

Being unwell is not fun for anyone. Any illness, even a common cold, can have a negative impact not just on our physical health, but on our mental health too. When we’re sick, it’s easy to let ourselves get into a bad temper. That can make our physical symptoms feel even more severe. When we’re feeling ill, we must try some specific coping mechanisms to help keep our spirits up. There are also steps we can take to treat our physical symptoms.

When we catch a cold, we wake up with a sore throat. We can take it easy and do a lot of things. For example, we can stay longer in bed and rest, we can drink plenty of fluids, gargle with salt water, sip a hot beverage, have a spoonful of honey, take a hot shower or steam ourselves, and take an over-the-counter remedy. All we need is not leave our sickness to chances, we need to address it.

When our indisposition is severe, we must take a break. For many people, it can be difficult to take a time out from life when feeling under the weather. But trying to carry on with one’s daily routine when one is sick can have many negative impacts. Not only will one risk passing one’s illness to others, but one may also end up feeling even more stressed. So, when you are sick, you need to take a break from your responsibilities as much as possible. You’ll in all probability need to consult a doctor.

Good to be an optimist, but not bad to be a pessimist

Optimists generally approach life with positive outlook, while pessimists tend to expect the worst. Optimists go into new situations with high expectations, while pessimists keep low expectations to prepare for negative outcomes. The benefit of being optimistic is that even if something does go wrong, the optimist is able to still see possibilities for the future. Pessimists on the other hand, are likely to focus largely on the negativity and pessimism combined with stress that is actually associated with depression.

The optimist is often a realist also. The realist tries to keep emotion out of the question. When you’re an optimist, you tend to see the brighter side of things, and you’re convinced that things are getting better. The opposite of optimist is the pessimist, who tends to see everything in a negative and dark perspective, and respond negatively. To be pessimistic means you believe evil outweighs the good and that bad things are more likely to happen. So pessimistic people are usually pretty negative most of the time.

Pessimists also have a hard time believing that they can overcome challenges. Thus, they might not have as much confidence as optimists. And where optimists might see possibility, pessimists might just see problems. But when difficulty does arrive, it is a pervasive event, which means that these problems are an indication that many other things in life are going to go wrong. Pessimists also have the tendency to take the actions of others personally. For example, if someone were to cut them off in traffic, they might be angry or upset, whereas an optimist might just see that the other person is having a bad day.

There have been many studies examining how optimism vs pessimism affects health. While it makes sense to think that optimists are healthier than pessimists, studies also show that optimistic people might have shorter life spans. And as it turns out, there are actually some benefits to being a pessimist!

Understand ‘personality’ before developing it!

‘Personality’ is one word that we come across every now and then. But do we all have a clear perception about what personality is? Personality refers to the long-standing traits and patterns that propel individuals to consistently think, feel, and behave in specific ways. Psychologists take this definition a little farther. According to them, personality is a characteristic way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. According to psychologists, personality embraces moods, attitudes, and opinions, and is most clearly expressed in interactions with other people. It includes behavioural characteristics, both inherent and acquired, that distinguish one person from the other.

On the surface, we judge the personality of a person by observing her behaviour, temperament, and way of interaction with others. But such judgements are not always full proof. In a systematic manner, personality can be determined through a variety of tests. Personality, after all, is a complex idea, and the dimensions of personality and scales of personality tests vary and are often poorly defined. Generally, the two main tools to measure personality are objective tests and projective measures. A modern measuring tool that psychologists use is the 16PF. It measures personality based on Cattell’s 16 factor theory of personality. While recruiters use it during the selection of candidates, psychologists also use it as a clinical measuring tool to diagnose psychiatric disorders and help with prognosis and therapy planning.

Environment plays a significant role in the development of one’s personality. It has been shown that personality traits are more malleable by environmental influences than researchers originally believed. Personality differences predict the occurrence of life experiences. For example, if a child was left alone at home by parents, it would often affect and influence the development of its personality. Additionally, an individual’s peer groups, other than parents, can also be primary influencers on personality and behaviour development in adulthood of a person.

After understanding what personality is, we can discuss the issue of personality development. Personality development is defined as a process of developing and enhancing one’s personality. Personality development helps an individual to gain confidence and high self-esteem. It’s an ongoing and never-ending process. Personality development is also said to have a positive impact on one’s communication skills and the way she perceives the world. Individuals tend to develop a positive attitude as a result of personality development.

All of us possess certain personality traits that set us apart from others. A mix of good and bad, these traits define how we respond to situations and people. While the most common belief is that these traits remain constant, researches prove the otherwise. One research concludes that we can change our traits provided we want to change them. We can transform ourselves into the best version of ourselves if we are serious about it! So, if you are willing to become the most desirable you, here are a few tips for you.

Please realise that you bring your self-esteem down by comparing yourself with others. That dwarfs your personality and does not let your strengths flourish. Understand that you and the other person are unique and just not comparable. We are taught to be kind to others. But we need to be kind to ourselves as well. Self-compassion does not mean letting yourself off the hook. Rather, it means taking corrective action, without being self-critical. Give space to imperfection. Don’t expect perfection everywhere. Find your peace amidst flaws, and you would be on your way to building a formidable personality.

Make stress your friend and get charged by it!

Stress is your body’s reaction to pressure from a certain situation or event. It can be physical, mental, or emotional reaction. We all deal with stress at some point in our lives. Maybe it’s your job, a family crisis, or financial problems. These are common triggers. According a recent study, about half of all people living in metros say they’re dealing with moderate stress. Note, not all stress is bad. It can make you more aware of things around you and keep you more focussed. In some cases, stress can even give you strength and help you get more accomplished!

Rather than dealing with anxiety and uncertainty by getting lost worrying,