The Second Chance in Life

By BHASKAR BORA

In The Second Chance in Life, Dr. Bhaskar Bora delves deep into the transformative power of resilience and the human spirit's unyielding capacity for renewal. Drawing from his own profound journey and those of others, Dr. Bora presents a compelling narrative that showcases the incredible strength we all possess to overcome life's most daunting challenges.

Through heartfelt stories and insightful reflections, Dr. Bora explores the pivotal moments that define our paths, the obstacles that seem insurmountable, and the surprising twists that offer new beginnings. He reveals how the darkest times can lead to the most enlightening breakthroughs, and how embracing a second chance can lead to a more fulfilling and purpose-driven life.

Whether you are at a crossroads, facing adversity, or simply seeking inspiration, The Second Chance in Life offers a beacon of hope and a roadmap for rediscovering joy, passion, and meaning. Dr. Bora's compassionate wisdom and practical guidance will empower you to embrace change, cultivate resilience, and embark on your own journey of transformation.

Discover the courage to start anew and unlock the limitless possibilities that await. Your second chance in life is not just a possibility; it is a promise.

• Language: English
• Publisher: BHASKAR BORA
• Release date: Jun 19, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227605238

BHASKAR BORA

We cannot control what the universe throws at us but how we react to those curve balls defines who we are and what we make out of our lives. Just when life seemed rosy and the sun was shining, he sustained a severe spinal cord injury in July 2019 following an operation, which left him with paralysis of both legs, a non-functioning right hand and a long stay in the hospital, eventually leading to a forced medical retirement from his medical career and a wheelchair in place of a sports car. He had to undergo multiple operations but is now permanently disabled. Two months after his injury he was also diagnosed with cancer of the Thyroid for which he needed further operations. Poorer financially but richer in life experiences, he is now a voice for the disabled. He wrote his first book 'The Second Chance in Life' as an honest reflection of his life experiences to motivate people that every adversity can still be turned into an opportunity. That it is important to be filled with gratitude and appreciation for all the things that we take for granted. He also blogs on his websites www.drbhaskarbora.com & www.thesecondchanceinlife.com In his own words, he says "The sun was shining on my life, everything looked rosy. Money was plenty and worries scarce. I had a dream career, a beautiful family, the blessings of my parents and the love of my friends What more could I ask for? When things go well in life, you assume you are in control. I thought so too. But when faced with unprecedented situations and overwhelming emotions, it is important to maintain trust in yourself and keep moving forward. When storms come, an eagle flies higher in order to rise above the turbulence, while a mouse hides in a corner. I had to become that eagle and soar higher, not be cornered and crushed in the storm of life. Believing in myself was the only way. Maybe this was a lesson. Maybe this was a lesson to find a bigger purpose and achieve a bigger dream. Miracles, big and small, happen every day but often we are not receptive enough to understand and appreciate them. My books are a testament to all the different things that I have learned and experienced and now want to share with my readers honestly and practically. Join me in this journey."

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The Second Chance in Life

By Dr Bhaskar Bora

Dedication

To my wife Mili, my mum, mother-in-law, my daughters, Angelina and Nikita, my brother Nav and all my friends, who are all no less than miracles in my life.

To my dad, whom I miss every day.

To my friend Jugal.

To my Life and all the great people in it

Contents

Chapter One

A Life Changing Moment ​

Waking To a New World ​

The Beginning ​

Adapt to Survive ​

An Unexpected Diagnosis ​

Career End? ​

Chapter Two

Facing Your Fears ​

A Father’s Trauma, A Son’s Dilemma ​

Never Alone ​

Fear of Paralysis, Not Death ​ ​        

Coming to the UK ​ ​           ​                          

Chapter Three

Diversity ​

The Cocktail Maker ​

Cycle of Life ​

Don’t Put All Your Eggs in One Basket ​

Work Hard, Play Hard ​

Financial Security ​

Family Support ​

Healing Power of Pets ​

Chapter Four

Moving Forward ​

Don’t Stand Still ​

Lifelong Learning ​

The Power of Meeting Customers ​

A Symbiotic Relationship ​ ​           ​                          

Personal Loss ​

Do Your Best, Be Your Best ​

Chapter Five

Read the Signs ​

Courage to Break the Pattern ​

Road Trips: Mirroring Life’s Detours ​

Strengths -v- Weaknesses ​

Decrypting Life’s Clues ​

Acceptance ​

Chapter Six

The Present, The Future ​

Responding to Struggles ​

Desire, Believe, Persevere ​

Measuring Wealth ​

A Voice for Others ​

Motivational Speaking ​

Life Changing, Not Life Ending ​

Letter to Life ​

Acknowledgements

Foreword

-          Dr Eli Silber, Consultant Neurologist

I was asked to see Dr Bhaskar Bora by a mutual friend and colleague. I can still recall the day in August 2019 when we met in my consulting room. He was in considerable pain and struggled to walk into my room following the complications of cervical spine surgery. My examination confirmed severe traumatic myelopathy with weakness in the right hand and legs, unsteadiness, severe spasticity, and significant neuropathic pain. I had arranged for an urgent neurosurgical review and a period of rehabilitation under my care and have seen him intermittently ever since. Unfortunately, despite progress with rehabilitation, he has been left with ongoing pain, stiffness and significant limitations in his hands and gait. I was struck at the initial and all subsequent consultations at his immense fortitude and the positive mental attitude that he had displayed despite this catastrophic life-changing event. He had grabbed at every opportunity offered for rehabilitation and symptom management and has managed the disappointments when they have been less successful than hoped for. As a dedicated local GP who had a leadership role in the local care group, he made every effort to continue in his practice and when this was unsuccessful has put his considerable energies and talents into his family and other projects both within and outside of medicine. We have no control over the challenges life confronts us with, but we can manage our responses to them. In dealing with these he deserves our respect and is an example to all.

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Join my journey, let’s begin.

Chapter 1

A Life-Changing Moment

When things go well in your life, you assume you are in control. I had assumed so too. Meticulous planning and preparation covered all eventualities. But when faced with unprecedented decisions and overwhelming emotions, it is important to maintain trust in yourself and keep control?

Waking to a New World

​‘Nurse, I can’t feel my legs!’ I could barely keep the panic from my voice as I called out. Something was not right. Why did my body feel so different? Why couldn’t I move my toes? Why so many pins and needles?

Calmly, the nurse responded, ‘Don’t worry, Doc, it must be the anaesthetic and surgical stockings. You’ll be fine by the morning.’ Groggy from the anaesthetic, I convinced myself she was probably right. Everything would be okay.

​Despite those assurances, my mind was in turmoil as red flags fanned my fluttering heart. From my initial cry at midnight, with every hour that passed, those odd sensations crept upwards, and I could not lift my legs without a great deal of effort. This was scary. On one hand, I wanted to be in denial, surely this was a temporary thing. At the same time, I was scared not just for myself but more so for my family. What will they do if something happened to me?

It was around midnight when I woke up properly from the anaesthetic. I was in a single dark, room with the only light wanting to force its entry through the crack at the door from the corridor. It was eerily silent except for the beeping of my monitor.

I waited eagerly for the surgeon, hoping that, surely, he would have the answers to all my questions. When he arrived, my anxious tone as I expressed my symptoms contrasted with his calm reaction. The problem was probably the result of the anaesthetic, he said, and easily resolved by medication.

​I was prescribed a high dose of oral steroids as well as painkillers and physiotherapy. I took comfort from the surgeon’s words and assurances and hoped for the best. However, rather than any improvement, my symptoms worsened. And continued to do so. By the third morning, my legs felt like logs of wood and the ever-increasing numbness had reached my groin, giving me a feeling of wearing tight, wet underwear that was way too small. I couldn’t even get out of bed without support. What was going on?

​Doctors often make bad patients. I tried not to fall into that category. After all, I was now on the other side of the fence, not the one making decisions, but the one abiding by them. Even so, I requested a post-operative scan, just to check everything was okay. The response - to increase my dose of steroids then wait and see - did not sit well with my instinct. Surely something had gone wrong either during surgery or just after.

​I am used to being in control; I like being in control. Don’t we all? But this time it wasn’t me calling the shots and I became increasingly convinced the consequences were going to be damaging.

​Three days it took me to get an MRI scan. Three days during which my helplessness escalated from significant to overwhelming. Finally, much to my relief, the surgeon agreed to a repeat MRI scan. In fact, by this time his body language suggested he was also beginning to worry, after all, the sensation in my lower half had radically deteriorated since the operation. What would the scan reveal? What could have happened? Was it too late to reverse any damage?

​The first thing the following morning as I was taken for my scan, I prayed silently in my heart. Never one for elaborate rituals, my prayers were often quiet conversations with God, usually of faith and gratitude. Today was a bit different. I needed something back from him. My normality. Was there something wrong or was I being an anxious, bad doctor-patient?

The whole day we didn’t hear anything. It created mixed feelings. I was hoping no news is good news. I spent the entire trying to move my legs, trying to mobilise but without any success. Anxiety was looming like dark clouds before an impending storm. It was only around midday, the next day a nurse came to reveal that the surgeon had been in touch, and everything was fine; I just needed to continue the steroids and physiotherapy. I would be well - normal - again, there was nothing to worry about. My wife, Mili, went home to offer her gratitude to God. But was her offering premature?

​During my medical career, I have always found that instinct plays a crucial role. And this time, once again, that instinct was correct. I was eating my hospital lunch and thinking of having a nap to free myself of worries when, around 3 pm, my surgeon rushed in. ‘I showed your scans to my colleagues,’ he said, ‘and unfortunately, you will need emergency surgery. We don’t have the facilities here either for the surgery or post-operative support, so you are being transferred to another hospital. Right now.’ Two years later those words still ring in my ears. Wasn’t this the same doctor who, a few hours earlier, had insisted everything was fine? Yet now I needed an Anterior Cervical Discectomy operation and fusion along with urgent cord decompression as emergency surgery.

​In a scene that wouldn’t have looked out of place on a TV drama, I was rushed by ambulance as an emergency transfer to Queen’s Hospital, Romford, a neurosurgical institution. Accompanied by an anxious and tearful Mili, I was strapped to a cervical board during the bumpy, hour and a half ride, facing upwards, staring at the roof of the ambulance, knowing my life was going to change, and change dramatically, perhaps forever. Looking at my wife’s worry-stricken face, I promised myself I’d stay positive, no matter what.

Positivity can play a big part in healing. Over the years I had said this to many of my patients, and now I was saying it to console myself.

​When I arrived at the ward in Queen’s, it was quite late. My little daughters, a home without their parents, were being looked after by our great neighbours and friends, Varun and Heena, who made dinner while Aidit and Sanna organised pizzas and took care of them overnight. It was quite tiring when we reached the ward eventually after the long journey and I was still strapped onto the board when the Nurses objected to Mili being there. 'We don't let any visitors stay overnight, she said. But I came in the ambulance and left my car in the other hospital, Mili replied. Bhaskar is having surgery early in the morning. I'm not leaving him, she reiterated with determination. I could feel the resignation in the nurse's voice, but she still stated' It's against the rules. At that point I jumped at the conversation, still immobilised, 'Sister, please, just for today, let her stay. She will be just on the chair. We have had a hard few days that you probably know of. I know you are only doing your duty and being a doctor, I appreciate it. My wife is worried, kids are with neighbours. Won't you please let her stay overnight, she will go first thing in the morning, please'? I guess I left her with little choice. She left the room and came back with a blanket and a cup of tea for Mili. Beneath the facade of sternness, she had a soft caring soul, something every nurse should have. She let Mili stay.

Within a few minutes, Mili fell asleep out of sheer fatigue. The room was just bright enough with some streetlight through the curtains. I looked at her face and a cascade of emotions filled me up. Ranging from the gratitude for her being with me to the disappointment with myself for the stress and anxiety I had caused her, for changing her life in exactly the way I never intended to. I loved her and hated myself. Mili met me and accepted me in the way I was, at the time when I was in one of the dire straits of my life. She got me out of the gutter (probably not the best word, as that gutter also taught me some rich life experiences). Our relationship has always been more spiritual than physical. After the incident, especially after the diagnosis of cancer, mostly have been focused on the well-being and education of our daughters. My last two years have been busy preparing Mili and my daughters to be able to sustain a wonderful and independent life in my absence.

My second, more extensive surgery took place the next morning. I do not remember much about it though, under anaesthesia, I kept babbling on. Perhaps this was because it was my birthday, my first (and hopefully last) birthday on an operating table. Afterwards, my friends, brother and mother-in-law brought me a cake and sang happy birthday to me around my bed. Allegedly I sang too - out of tune, as usual!

​Only later, my birthday celebrations over, did I realise that the second operation had been too late. The damage was irrecoverable. I was left with a permanent disability, the consequences of which would affect not only my career but also my family.