Welcome to the Virtual Gogo Bar

By Bangkok Byron

This book is a collection of short stories set in the fleshpots of SE Asia, some of which were first published on popular Thailand forums, and some of which are published here for the first time. Just so that you know what you are getting, the stories are erotic but not explicit - they are also authentic and, at times, humorous, written in the inimitable Bangkok Byron style.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Bui Doi Books
• Release date: Jun 27, 2020
• ISBN: 9798227133731

Bangkok Byron

Bangkok Byron is famous (or should that be "infamous"?) for his numerous contributions to the Thailand forums. Bangkok Byron is, of course, a pen name (earned when he wrote his long narrative poem, Bangkok Don Juan, in the same verse form as Byron's Don Juan) to conceal his identity on account of his adventures (or should that be "misadventures"?) in the fleshpots of SE Asia.

Book preview

WELCOME TO THE VIRTUAL GOGO BAR

THE IDEA FOR THIS STORY came from one of Stickman’s Weeklies (https://www.stickmanbangkok.com/weekly-column/) in which he jokingly asked if anyone would set up a virtual gogo bar to keep us happy until the real bars reopen. I don’t have the capital, technical know-how or bar contacts to do that, but I can write a story about it. Here it is:

Chapter 1

WELCOME TO THE VIRTUAL Gogo Bar. How does it work? – Just like the real thing. Watch the girls dance, choose one (OK, that’s different – here, you have to click on her). Then she’ll join you for a drink (click here to buy one). Talk to her for 5 minutes. If you like her, pay the barfine (click here). Then she’ll join you in a private room. Click here to set up an account.

WHAT DO YOU THINK?

The speaker was a balding, geeky-looking guy of about fifty years of age. He was not there in person, but on Skype. Behind him could be seen a fearsome array of high tech equipment.

Sounds good, Dave, but will it work?

Mick had known Dave for many years, and had learned to take his madcap schemes with a pinch of salt – but just now, he was desperate. When Covid-19 had hit Bangkok, he had sold his bar, Boobz n’ Bottomz, to one of the big boys, who had beat him down until he let it go for a song. Now he was sitting in a sparsely furnished, rented flat in Doncaster (well, Doncaster is cheap) wondering how he could bridge the four years until he would be old enough to draw his state pension.

No problem there, Mick. That’s my day job, remember? The company I work for is going hell for leather to get out a competitor to Zoom. I’ve got access to lots of C++ libraries – all open source and legal (well, legal-ish), and the knowhow to cobble it all together. I can knock up the wireframe and the API in no time, but the back end will take some coding – take data architecture...

Woah! I’m happy to leave the technical stuff to you. What I mean is, will it work as a business proposition?

Can’t fail!

You always say that. Convince me.

Well, since this Covid thing, gogo bars are dead in the water, right?

Mick winced. In his enthusiasm, Dave had hit a sore point.

But traffic to webcam sites has increased exponentially. You see, the guys who can’t get their fix in the bars are going online. But even dating sites are no good, because they can’t get into Thailand, so they head for the webcam sites.

Well, then, perhaps that’s what we should do.

Dave shook his head.

Too much competition. The Virtual Gogo Bar is a much better idea – because that’s what these guys really want. Give them a front end that looks as much like a real gogo bar as possible and they’ll be happy as Larry – and prepared to pay for it.

Mick was beginning to get interested.

But how can you make it look like a real gogo bar?

Easy! The API...

Mick interrupted him.

In plain language, please!

OK, it goes like this. We use your contacts to recruit the girls, then we use CSO...

CSO! Come on Dave, cut the tech-speak!

Colour Separation Overlay.

I still don’t know what you’re on about.

It’s often called Chroma Key...

Mick shook his head.

OK. This is as simple as I can make it. We ask the girls to set up a high definition camera in front of a green background, then I can superimpose their image against the background of a gogo bar and alongside all the other girls.

Mick gave a cynical laugh. He had thought of a problem already.

And where are the girls going to get these high definition cameras – and more to the point, who will pay for them?

Dave was nonplussed for a moment, then said, Every laptop has a high definition camera built in.

Most of them won’t have laptops.

Dave scratched his head, then said with a burst of inspiration, No, but they’ve all got phones though, and they’ve all got high definition cameras.

I might just work, Mick thought. Go, on.

So we ask them to set up their phones at a specified height, and ask them to dance in front of a background painted a specified shade of green, and the software will do the rest. Hey, I can work it out so that, if anyone has a data projector and a large wall, I can make it look actual size – as though they were really there. Even with a large screen TV the illusion will be pretty good!

He was waxing lyrical now, no doubt thinking of the last time he had sat, Singha in hand, in Boobz n’ Bottomz, with his friend, Dave, on one side and a cute little bargirl on the other.

But Mick had thought of another problem.

"You know, Dave, these girls don’t live like we do in the west. They’ll be back in the moobaan right now..."

Huh! Now who’s using tech talk?

With a sigh of disbelief, Mick said, "That’s not tech talk, Dave, that’s Thai!"

"Yeah, well, I still don’t understand it.

"Moobaan means ‘village’. Most of my girls went back to their village, where they will be living in a bamboo shack with their extended family – so where are they going to set up their little studio? There is no privacy, no private space, no smooth plastered wall to paint green... you get the picture?"

Dave sighed and shook his head. He had no quick answer to this one.

Mick answered it for him. "Well, I suppose they could get paw (that’s father) to knock up a bamboo cubicle in the yard, and hang a green curtain on one wall. We could ask them to wear the same costume, like they do in the bars."

Brilliant! Well?

Well, what?

Are you in?

Mick hesitated. What will it cost to set up?

I’ll have to pay some guys to help me – that’s a lot of code we’re talking about. I’ll need some new hardware too. You’ll have to pay the girls to recruit them. How many do you think we’ll need?

Mick was on home turf now. There’ll need to be at least 12 girls in a set, and they can’t dance all the time, so we alternate that with another set of 12. Dance for 20 minutes, rest for 20 minutes, 8 hour shift.

Don’t forget we’re going worldwide. We’ll have to operate 24/7 to cover all the time zones.

Three shifts then – that’s 72 girls, let’s make it 100. They’re pretty unreliable at the best of times.

Can you get that many?

"I’ve got 40 on my books. They’ll be glad of the work, easy