Monkeys

By annamoc38

TEASER:
Hong: “MY WHAT NOW!!?”
Me: “You were saying?”
Hong: “Oh, guess what I saw when I entered my room last night?”
Me: “Your roommate f*cking your other roommate.”
Hong: “NO.”
Me: “Your roommate j*rking off with the m*st*rb*t*ng sleeve he illegally smuggled into the boy’s dorm.”
Hong: “What!? NO! How’d you even know about that!!?”
Me: “Your roommate watching cheap p*rn on his laptop with his hands in his pants.”
Hong: “YES! I mean- NO! I mean- THAT’S NOT EVEN THE POINT HERE!”
Me: “Then what is?”
Hong: “Monkey! A dead monkey.”
Me: (...)
Hong: (...)
Me: “YOU’RE TELLING ME THAT YOUR S*X**LLY SORRY EXCUSE FOR A ROOMMATE F*CK*D A MONKEY TO DEATH AND AS IF THAT WASN’T ENOUGH TO SATISFY HIS SH*TTY *SS HE EVEN HAD TO CONTINUE THE DEED WITH CHEAP P*RN!!?”
Hong: “F*CK. NO.”
Me: “So he was just touching himself with a dead monkey in the room?”
Hong: “Yes. No. Wait. Are you sure you’re writing a story about your life experiences with monkeys and not my roommate’s lack of experience with s*x?”
Me: (GASP) “Gosh, you’re right! I just thought it’d be funny for my readers.”
Hong: “YOUR WHAT NOW!!?”

• Language: English
• Publisher: XinXii
• Release date: Feb 24, 2024
• ISBN: 9783689830403

Book preview

The Schooling Monkeys

A AAHHH!!!

SHRIEK!!!

AAAHHH!!!

SHRIEK!!!

Confuse much? Me too. Let us rewind back to the very beginning of the story now, shall we?

Number 101!

It is a hot summer day. Just like the other 364 days of the year. Shimmering sunlight shines through the batches of drying leaves on a bunch of dying branches. I squint my eyes at the sudden glare and raise my hands to the sudden gleam.

Number 108!

A shadow looms over me. Two pairs of eyes meet. One squinty and one beady. Neither finding the presence of the other pleasing enough to linger on a moment longer. Both sights similarly shifting towards the same sumptuous spot: A food truck.

Number 113!

Crouching silently, creeping slowly, one human and one animal bob between bodies and boughs, moving ever closer to the modest looking counter.

Number 118!

A carton of fresh eggs remains on the countertop as the staffs busily bustle about with their overwhelming number of orders. The monkey; seemingly smug on the fact that it was getting a free lunch; reaches out towards the impending-ly doomed eggs. While I; seemingly sour on the fact that I was not