Elena: My Life Stories: A Girl’s Story, #1

By T.M. Tarantino

Some emotional and spiritual and funny moments that happened in my life in short story formate will be sending  Some of these off to chicken soup for the soul books!   ( at least the ones without swearing of course).  But this is my collection of notes from my life that are pretty funny or emotional do enjoy them from time to time!

Join me as I collect old and some new memories, both the good the bad and the ugly!    Also the companion to my three memoirs in the traumatized stargazing series! Some fun, some not so funny!  But here you go!

Enjoy!

• Language: English
• Publisher: T.M. Tarantino
• Release date: Jun 21, 2024
• ISBN: 9798227368928

T.M. Tarantino

T.M. Tarantino is a penname for an author and artist!  T.M. Is a tattoo and piercing fiend as well as solar eclipse happy!  She love stargazing and writing! When she is not NOT seen writing or reading, she is getting tattoos/piercings and doing art!  She is a PTSD warrior and was bornin romania!  Ottawa based author and artist

Book preview

Book one

By T.M. Tarantino

Elena:my life stories

Book 1

To my friends at the group home and my my readers

the beginning

I was born in a warzone as I baby, a lot of triggering stuff happened to me before I was adopted into Canada by my parents, stuff I will not mention! Though it involved being the repeated victim of terrorism! When I was I. Canada I was always the kid who was mostly happy but had the chip of the shoulder (and attitude!). As I grow up the attitude was getting better and I was able to get along with other children......then 9/11 happened and it triggered memories that I have had since I was a baby! (Don't say that babies don't have a memory- they do) When I saw the twin towers get crashed into and crumble I was devastated and terrified at these horrific scenes unfolding on the tv and in my mind! The PTSD

symptoms slowly came up! First was the nightmares and the second was rage! Soon when I was 17 I was full blown depressed clinically! And was thinging of either ending my life man times (a bad idea) or to get help (better idea)....i choose to get help! Especially after memories of the warzone and being in catholic school we're getting too much for me. I was bullied in catholic school for my ethnicity and abilities as well as my PTSD. And it nearly ruined my life!

I was mostly coping on my own with my parents who alway drank at this point in their life! So I was on my own with my emotions!

Things came to a head in 2020 when I was going through toxic stress at home but the only thing other then writing was the idea of moving out on my own accord as I was fed up with my parents drinking! Long gone were the good days of traveling and being spoiled! I had to leave for my sake! Though when I moved to my group home I decided to find creativity again in this case I downloaded wattpad and started writing! This was actually a good way to blow off some steam as you can live in your head but be social to others at the same time. I have been able to write since I could remeber the age of 4....the same thing with drawing! But know I use it as a form of recovery...the creativity! As I write and write I get better at my craft and then started designing my own tattoos and rekindled my love of drawing through getting tattoos!

Although my art and writing have improved to the point we're I can write 50,000

words on wattpad and do tattoo like art! I am slowly changing for the better! I am going to therapy! And I am on the mend because if the people in my group home and the first I made along the way as well as being stubborn and creative! I refuse to go back the way came into the group home which was a hot mess! Not I am stable and happy for the most part (except for the odd nightmare). I thing I will because if the positive side of tattoo designing, art and writing that I will hope to be tattoo artist and writer and hope to change peoples lives for the better! I am 35 years old and I changed everything, the way I see life and the way I spend time and money! (The money not too too important)

~T.M.

Update: I heard I have a few more times at therapy and I am doing better for the most part! I must say that I can and will beat PTSD!

How i met my boyfriend

So I was going to the special olympics to another group home to play a game of cornhole where you throw the bean beg into a hole in a wooden board. Nothing special there but then when of my friends from this group home started talking to me............chatting me up! Little did I know that it was going to be love at first site! His name is Curt! Anyway were were talking and hardly playing any of the game! When I was being talked to I was smitten for the first time in my life!

Well I was smitten before in high school but that guy turned out to be a cheater.....enough said! So I was starting to thing of what it would be like to be in love with someone who doesn't cheat! Something I haven't thought of in a long time.....you see I was going from one online relationship to another neither were

successful!

Was nearing the age of the 35 at that time and I wasn't going to think I found love at all! But there he was!

When I decided to have my picture taken with my friend....that kind got my brain going in on direction but one! I could not sleep that night I was thinking about that chat!

Soon I was just coming into the door to my group home from work when I saw a work come up to me and ask if I knew a guy named Curt and that he was bringing a Tim hortons ice cap! So we talked on the porch sipping on our ice caps (coffee), I remeber as it was stinking out out too! We talked and we started to have a good time! He asked me what my favourite restaurant was and I said the red fox! That is a restaurant that had a delicious menu!

Then he asked if I would like to go to the red fox with him for a lunch!

What I said was yes!

I remember that I had nachos and a shrimp cargo to eat and started to talking to him aaagain! That was when I decided I did not just like him, I was in love with you!

So I write a letter on a postcard to him and it said:

I just wanted to say that I like (love) you, and that is a good thing! Love Elena!

Fast forward to a week I was playing baseball at the special Olympics and found him, coming up to me and asking me to be his girl friend; I though I received a bump on the head and was in a concussion but I pinched my self and he asked me again - would like to be my girl friend!

Another week later I was kissed for the first time in my life! As this was my first serious kiss! That being said I had seen him many times when time at a butterfly exhibit with live butterflies and he compared the butterflies to me saying that I was prettier! At that time I was going to basketball for special Olympics and the next time I went to the basketball I saw him giving me a gift, again thinking I hit my head....but a work saw this and said how nice!

It was more the

A nice it is romantic......

What he gave me was socks with poppies that said your so goddamn pretty and a bracelet!

And on Valentine's Day he gave me my first chocolate! They're look like something out of wink as chocolate factory!

This is June 2024, we met on July 2023....it has been a good year. The funny part is that I am tattooed and pierced and he isn't! Kind of like not giving a crap about the books cover, right!

-T.M.

Seeing the x-mas lights!

I remember and this started when I was 9 to 12 years old, if I did my math homework subpar i was able to go with my father when he wasn't drinking his self silly that he would take me to see the neighborhood Christmas lights! From past remembrance day to the New Year's Eve we would walk around looking at the Christmas light in the trio neighborhood area of Almonte Ontario, that was where I lived for 28

years. Well when I went to see the Christmas lights it was a real treat and a half to be honest with you! It was my happy land, if you would! Not the stipulation was that I was supposed to do my math homework but couldn't always do it correctly so if I did it halfway correctly or some par I was able to go and see the Christmas lights with my father father! As we went out it would be like the gay pride parade rainbow for me as I saw all the different colours that make up the beautiful rainbow! Now some houses were overtly decorated and some not so decorated I loved the one's that were overly decorated and I was able to enjoy the colourful spectacle but my father liked the more modest looking x-mas decorated houses! I did not understand why at the time! Still don't!

I guess some people have more Christmas spirit in them than other people! I was when to decorate overly if you know me on a very personal level that very few people would see; I have a lot of stuff in my room....copious amounts of dvds and books and music and musical instruments! Some where in that room in my group home you will see that I have a steel tounge drum!

I guess I would be the zealous decorators that I saw as a child and would decorate my house to hell and back! They why I loved it as a kid! In the fifth grade I remember going to the helipad at the local hospital, Almonte general hospital near the (still is) the emergency department I would see this blazing red star over the er! I would with my father look at this spectacle after doing an hours with of stargazing and seeing different Christmas decorating that night!

I was staring catatonically, obsessively at the star over the er, that I lost track of time....

Come on Elena, (that's my legal name) he would say! It's beyond your bed time and you have school!

Dang it! I would say as I went back to the house! At that time I could not swear nor use anatomical terms. ( this day I swear but don't use anatomical terms that people would say and make a doctor blush) That night I remember it was very close to Christmas and I was sleeping in despite going to school the next day! I was going to be late but I did not care at that time! One I have ADHD and two crappy subject matter except for science and art!

Science was fun and so was art! Math was a fart..... to me!

I remember at the end of the year 1999 to 2000 that we had year books! Under my name:

there will be no math today if she has her way!

Which I found funny and hilarious at the time but, still applies to this day! I remember that one or many winter nights were my father and would see the Christmas light and look at the with aww! As you can tell I still hate math!

-T.M.

Light up the night

What are my first memories that I have that was positive was going to Almonte's light up the night there was plenty to see. I remember having hot chocolate I was about three years old at the time. This was one of my first memories. This was a Christmas memory obviously and I remember the cold, but it didn't seem to be as bad as my parents made it out to be that I hated the cold and I couldn't go out in it anymore as I went many times and high school to light up the night because I was tired of being a pussycat and being scared crappless of the cold! I wanted to reconnect with that first memory I had of Christmas, which was the light up the night so when I was in high school, I think I was in grade 11. This is the first time I did go to light up the night and since about 14 years or God knows how long at this point, I am not good at math. It was a a mixture of different people when I went! I remember thatfor sure! And at that time had spread of light up the night since I last been there as a child, I wanted to prove to my parents that I was not gonna be afraid of the cold anymore, as well as to prove to myself!

But what got me? Was was this art exhibit? I've been to many art exhibits in my life to go for school never like them on bit never would like them even though I'm an artist myself I just can't stand school and school can't stand me kind of thing like violent Jay would say and mad Professor the song being said I don't enjoy school. I'd rather not deal with it at all! at this point, my high school spotlight wasn't as big on me and the bullying wasn't as bad and I was able to find a few people handful of people that I was able to talk to as I grew older in high school

but still at this time I was suffering from my first depression one of the first symptoms of my PTSD, but an advert for the art exhibit was pertaining to Tibet and as well as Mount Everest and Mount nearing this count my eye because well I am madly of different Asian and Caucasian mixes of people. If you were to call it that way I knew deep down that I may have been Himalayan and Tibetan. There was no doubt about it, but that'll be another story for another time. I remember the most is that I wanted to see this exhibit...... when I should've been going to school and seeing crappy art exhibit somewhere else with this one art exhibit I remember that I saw it at the night I decided the next day I was going to say I was going to go and look at it!

I can't remember the name of the artist, but I know he died on Mount Everest I remember that much he wanted to help the kids in Nepal and Tibbet help with the reading and writing skills which is a normal thing and would always go there to help them if he's not on the mountains! There was something about that exhibit that got me to think maybe I should give back to the world and someway one thing I did remember in grade 7 was that my mother yelled at me say I have to give back to the world, but this was a better thing and a more gentler Nudge instead of a kick in the ass! Every time that exhibit was on, I was on every day until I think about around January 2006 I would go there religiously! And I would literally take a hammer to my Peggy bag. Yes, I was 17 or 16 years old with it still a piggy bank smashed it and ended up deciding to give whenever I went there to start the movie or the documentary on this artist life that I wanted to give in the money and it was going to a good cause it wasn't like there was a scammer or anything so that was good!

My heart dropped when that exhibit ended and something else replaced that one art gallery that was my favourite art gallery and that was my favourite exhibit. I remember my mother saying well you went to that because you wanted to you didn't have to be forced to go there. I still think yes I was there because I wanted to be there. I think the universe may have been saying something at the time. I am not sure, but there was something at that time about where my ancestors came from partially where my ancestors came from and mountaineering that really got my brain going on the gerbil wheel that being said, I wanted to climb Mount Everest one day as a kid. Well teenager at the time to help support whatever cause I might have.!

When I was diagnosed with PTSD, I wanted to climb out Everest to show people that people with PTSD are not murderous people or serial killers or anything of that nature that were just people with bigger emotions, bigger memories and wilder nightmares! That was it we were all the same at the end of the day. We all have to sleep the same way and sooner later we all have to die the same way so I find that this was something I wanted to do, but since then I decided to take up writing to help my cause!

-T.M.

Getting into writing

I also wanted to investigate writing ficition to help with my PTSD and other comorbidities, since highschool, but because of school being a suck; I had to give that up! But I ended up starting to write about a past life in Tibet on Tumblr called past life pillow book! That gave me some peace of mind! But I did not think about this until about two years later! I was 31, I downloaded wattpad because I wanted to give the world a my point of view or as they say in social media, POV! When I down loaded the wattpad app I was under the name mirathecoroner! Also I was writing about some dark stuff at the time because I was going through more stress, and it wasn't toxic it was biohazardous stress! At that time I had to move to my group home where I live now! There I still wrote under many pen names! It took me awhile to get up to 50,000 words before and know I was about to do so more so! That decision to first download wattpad has changed my life if not for the better! Let's say I have pent up imagination! With that I wanted to commit to writing to ward of the PTSD goblins that still life in my head, as I may note that if I don't write I find that I am a snapping turtle and very rude! So that being said.......along with therapy and art, I commit to writing almost every day!

The backstory was that Ian Fleming was a PTSD suffer who would alleviate his PTSD

by either drinking or writing novels about James Bond that's what made me want to investigate writing was learning about Ian Fleming's personal life. The was the fire under my ass and boy did it burn!

The first ever story booklet was the story my autopsy! That was my first ever story on wattpad!

young woman is abducted by a deranged forensic pathologist who she ends up falling in love after being held in the morgue. a twisted love story As I said I wrote a lot of dark stuff before I went to my group home and found an improvement in my outlook in life as you can see with my writing at times! That when story my autopsy was the gateway for me to start exploring writing as a means to stop the PTSD from further aggravating me!

I have tried writing romance but with some success, but I rather write about sci-fi, fantasy, horror, creepypasta, and good memories of my life! The one I am currently working on is a book called colony!

after a serious terrorist attack the world is shocked and where all the good and kind people are given another home.....the moon where they can live in peace. but this story is about kindness and how it will help us in the world(s) to come.

#teamkindness

That is the description of the book! Also I have writen a three part memoir called in whole : traumatized stargazing! And the titles are: the girl who should have been left at airport security, the girl who is the full moon, and the girl who is the freedom! As you can tell I like to write about things that add happened to me! Even colony had some element in my life especially my boyfriend and special Olympics, which are a big part of my life in this case!

The writing I find help bring light to the darkness in life, if you want to write!

The same with reading! At my group home my friend and I made bookmarks and she read out a quote a book is a dream in your hands!

So true!

-T.M.

Halloweens of past, present and future What I remember of Halloween was that my father would decorate the house, put a green spotlight on the front porch, carve the pumpkins, and start with sound effects! This brought a chill down my spine in a good way! I knew that time of year was coming to me andI was wth glee as I saw the green light! I started trick or treating since I was three years old and I was in love with Halloween, even to this Day I still do Halloween and trick or treating (yes even it age 35 I trick or treat). I love the sense of adventure and dress up the way I actually want to and doing my make up the way I wanted to as well! As this is still my favourite time of year- the spooky season!

When I was a kid I would dress up as an alien, a witch or something involving the colour green; I was obsessed with that colour.....to put it politely! When I got to the third grade I was went as I dead pharaoh and that one gave me me nightmares for a few months as I was petrified of the pharophs as a kid! - don't ask me why? A) little kid and B) did not understand the concept of ancient cultures that were

spooky too me. As I went into the fourth grade I was a pumpkin but couldn't wear green as it was a school night! Damn. For the first while my father took me trick or treating