Art of Joyful Parenting

By ANUPAMA MOHLA

"Art of Joyful Parenting" by Anupama Mohla is a comprehensive guide that explores the complexities of parent-child relationship. This book invites parents into a journey of connection and growth with their children. Within these pages, you'll find invaluable tools and techniques to cultivate a deep and meaningful relationship with your child creating a harmonious and rewarding family bond. Through Experiential wisdom and self-reflection, the author empowers parents to embrace the joys and challenges of parenting with resilience and empathy. More than just a guide, " Art of joyful Parenting" highlights the importance of emotional competence, understanding of evolving human nature and continued self-improvement in the parenting journey. By embracing compassion, parents can create an environment where both they and their children flourish and grow. Join this transformative journey towards joyful parenting and unlock the potential for a fulfilling and enriching family life.

 

About the Author

The author of this book, Anupama Mohla is a psychologist, NLP Master practitioner and hypnotherapist.  She is a Parenting coach and deals with adolescent issues and conflicts with parents.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Author Tree Publishing
• Release date: Jun 25, 2024
• ISBN: 9788197153808

Book preview

ART OF JOYFUL PARENTING

A roadmap to happiness and connection...

Copyright @ 2024 by ANUPAMA MOHLA

All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted in whole or part, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the publisher.

Cover designed by Authors Tree Publishing, image used from free stock library.

ISBN: 978-81-971538-0-8

India: INR 399/-

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This book has been published with all reasonable efforts taken to make the material error-free after the consent of the author. No part of this book shall be used, reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author, except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. The author of this book is solely responsible and liable for its content including but not limited to the views, representations, descriptions, statements, information, opinions and references [content]. The content of this book shall not constitute or be construed or deemed to reflect the opinion or expression of the publisher or editor. Neither the publisher nor editor endorse or approve the content of this book or guarantee the reliability, accuracy or completeness of the content published herein and do not make any representations or warranties of any kind, express or implied, including but not limited to the implied warranties of merchantability, fitness for a particular purpose. the publisher and editor shall not be liable whatsoever for any errors, omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause or claims for loss or damages of any kind, including without limitation, indirect or consequential loss or damage arising out of use, inability to use, or about the reliability, accuracy or sufficiency of the information contained in this book.

Printed In India

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ART OF JOYFUL PARENTING

A roadmap to happiness and connection...

Written By

ANUPAMA MOHLA

Contents

Acknowledgement

To my incredible children, Abhyudit and Ayodhika, their boundless energy and inquisitive minds have been the driving force behind this book. Their questions, challenges, and triumphs have inspired me to delve deeper into the world of adolescent parenting, seeking out new perspectives and practical solutions to share with other parents.

To my dear husband Anuj, his unwavering support and belief in my vision have been instrumental in bringing this book to life. His willingness to listen, brainstorm, and offer valuable insights has enriched every chapter, making it a truly collaborative effort.

I am profoundly grateful to my parents for showering their love and guidance while making faulty decisions and misinterpretations too, which have helped me shape my parenting journey. Their wisdom and perceptions have provided insights and strategies that I’ve mentioned in this book.

To all the parents who will read these pages, I offer this book as a resource and a companion on your journey through adolescence. Within these chapters, you’ll find practical advice, real-life anecdotes, and evidence-based strategies to help you deal with the challenges and joys of raising adolescents.

I hope this book will serve as a roadmap, guiding you through the twists and turns of adolescent parenting with confidence and compassion. And may it remind you in moments of doubt that you are not alone on this journey.

With heartfelt gratitude,

ANUPAMA MOHLA

Introduction

In my book, you will notice some subjects/issues have been repeated. But don’t worry; this isn’t by default, but by design. I’ve deliberately repeated certain ideas to highlight their importance. I want you to understand that there’s no one-size-fits-all approach to bonding with your child. You can start reading from any section, and it’ll all make sense. The goal is to make you realize that there are no strict rules to parenting.

Whatever works for you and your child is the right way. Achieving your desired outcome rests on applying effective strategies and adopting the appropriate approach. I’ve emphasized these points throughout the book to raise awareness and encourage you to take action based on that awareness. So, dive in, explore, and let’s set off on this journey together.

My earliest memories take me back to my school days in Lucknow. I started off in a school where English wasn’t the main language, but my father thought it would be good for me to change to a more renowned school mid-session. So, I found myself in a new school, clueless about what was coming my way.

The struggle kicked in right from the beginning because English wasn’t my strength. I was terrified at the thought of having to speak and read fluently in front of the class. My teacher, an Anglo-Indian, was tough. On the second day, she made me read a paragraph from a story she was teaching. I could feel my heart racing, and I was a nervous wreck. I tried reading, but I stumbled, couldn’t finish, and that was it. She could tell I needed to catch up, but instead of helping, she made me the class joke. This experience made me dislike English as a subject, and I dreaded going to her class. It wasn’t about support or encouragement; it felt more like being picked on. The struggle with the language became a struggle with the teacher’s attitude, turning what should have been a normal part of learning into something I wanted to avoid at all costs.

I told my parents that I was having difficulty coping with the subject and they would brush it aside by saying that I needed to work and learn the language. But how? At that age and stage of my life, there were no mobiles and no social media and the only thing that kept me going was a good set of friends that I made.

My self-esteem took a serious hit when I realized I was struggling in maths as well. It felt like every day was either standing outside the class or dealing with bullies. It was disheartening, and soon enough, I started thinking maybe I was just not cut out for this.

I kept it to myself, not discussing it with my parents because their advice was always to work hard, but they didn’t really know how to guide me through it. This was harrowing, and I began to accept the idea that expulsion from school was inevitable. Faced with this loneliness, I went into survival mode, unable to tolerate the humiliation any longer. So, I started a daily routine of reading in front of the mirror, focusing on mastering spoken English. It provided a bit of confidence, enough to scrape through the subject.

Just to give you some background, I went on to work as a journalist for 16 years in English national dailies before deciding to become a psychologist. Writing this book in English is evidence of my resolve, determination, and self-drive. However, it’s important to highlight that not every child responds the same way to similar situations.

Despite moving on to 4th grade, Maths added to my suffering. My self-esteem had hit rock bottom, and I didn’t recognize that I excelled in Hindi and other humanities subjects. I longed for someone to guide me, to make me feel worthy, but that support was nowhere to be found. Consequently, I developed a strong aversion to maths, associating it with beatings and shame. The fear lingered until I completed 10th grade, at which point I bid farewell to maths for good.

In response to this challenging situation, I became stubborn and more defiant against authority. I found a peculiar way to cope— I had become a class hero, confidently striding out of the classroom whenever the teacher shamed me. Over time, I gathered a decent fan following, turning defiance into a sort of badge of honour.

This resistance and defiance became the core of my very existence—resist, defy, and persist was my unwritten motto. Back then, I wasn’t aware of it, but as an adult, I’ve realized that I often default to fight mode whenever I sense a threat. Battling my problems gave me courage, but it also established the habit of confronting challenges head-on, as I wasn’t familiar with any other approach.

Now, let me shed light on the fight, flight, and freeze modes, which are the body’s natural responses to stress, humiliation or danger. These are automatic physiological reactions when faced with perceived threats, and I had unknowingly mastered fight mode by now. Different people might respond to stressors in various ways.

Fight Mode: The body is ready to meet the threat head-on. This can include a rise in heart rate, increased awareness, and the release of adrenaline and other stress hormones. I’ll explain with an example. Imagine facing a wild animal while trekking. In fight mode, your body may react by preparing to meet the threat. As your heart rate rises, your muscles become tense, and you may experience a burst of energy, ready to tackle the threat head-on.

Flight mode: The body prepares to escape or avoid a