RESENTMENTS, SECULAR ETHICS, and ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE, And Protecting Our Democracy

By Paper Gold Publishing Ltd and Janet C. Lindeman, PhD

This book is for you, if: You have trouble getting over resentments, you'd like to know the difference between "assertion" & "aggression," you are interested in recovery from addictions, you wonder about the difference between "secular ethics" and "religious ethics." You are interested in government & foreign relations; you are motivated toward peace & ecological preservation. You are interested in how Artificial Intelligence can benefit society. You would like to know about the author's life story.

• Language: English
• Publisher: Paper Gold Publishing OLD
• Release date: Jun 26, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224613779

Paper Gold Publishing Ltd

As a person who views news and politics with the fascination of watching a train-wreck, Bixby is driven to extract what IS discussed and twist it into the light of what ISN’T. Writing fiction, but keeping it within parameters of the believable and possible, K.H.’s thrillers grab the reader, causing them to wonder … is the story real?

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INTRODUCTION

Resentments are feelings. They are like seeds in our minds. When we process them self-responsibly, they can help us grow in character, ethics, and healthy spirituality. When we process resentments irresponsibly by blaming and shaming others for them, they become poison, which we take ourselves expecting somebody else to die. Part One of this book will discuss ways of overcoming resentments and tendencies toward verbal, psychological, and physical violence.

Examining resentments historically is very educational if we take the time to do it. This is why most chapters in Part Two have a historical precedent section. Many of us don’t bother taking the time to look at historical precedents, so we don’t see the likely consequences of our actions and fall into the trap of poisoning ourselves with resentments, and then expecting others to suffer from them. We don’t see the greed baked in to our resentments. The greed is based on wanting things to go our way. When others don’t do things the way we think they should be done, we judge others and build resentments toward them. Our energies are so focused outward that we cannot look inward and see our own controlling and/or reactive contributions to conflicts. Chapter One focuses on developing an observer self to do this.

This book will give some examples of the consequences of this self-poisoning behavior, as well as ways for people to consciously and self-responsibly resolve their conflicts without having to hurt themselves or anyone else. These resentment-resolving and greed-resolving behaviors take time, clear intention, and focus on personal transformation.

I am a psychologist, not a professional ethicist, nor a professional religious educator. My parents were open-minded, loving Presbyterian Christian missionaries, primarily in Asia. I grew up studying history, education, religion, and psychology. Then I became a psychotherapist in private practice, as well as a part time university instructor. I am now retired and enjoying the time to deepen my awareness through meditation, fellowship with others, reading and writing. I’ve been married for over fifty years and have adopted and fostered children.

I personally have learned a lot from both unconscious ways of dealing with resentment when I was younger, and more conscious ways when I was older. I hope I can pass on my attempts at wisdom to my readers. Please pursue your wisdom path for yourselves. Please use this book to stimulate questions and discuss them with others. My opinions may not be yours. Please form your conclusions thoughtfully and kindly. This can help you to plant seeds of compassion in yourself, as well as others. Please don’t make your decisions based on anger and resentment aimed at others. Please don’t fall into the traps of excessive desire and addiction. These behaviors will lead to unhappiness.

This book also discusses moderation and balance as ancient virtues, examined by modern psychologists, along with other virtues. The ancient teacher, Ovid, taught that, "alternate rest and labor long endure." Modern life is often sleep-depriving, exhausting and overwhelming. This book will discuss the restorative value of rest and meditative techniques to quiet and discipline the mind.

Part Two of this book presents a simplified way of thinking about Levels of Ethics, in a modern, secular way. It includes a history of how different religions have contributed to and still contribute to moral principles, some in very helpful ways and some in distorted ways.

Ethics is a branch of philosophy that studies moral values and principles. In the last thirty decades, the school of positive psychology (different from the psychology of mental illness) has also researched the values and principles contributing to human happiness. However, there has not yet been much inter-disciplinary study by ethicists and positive psychologists. Hopefully, this will happen more in the future, as the study of ethics has recently branched into many different blossoms.

Ethics as a philosophy attempts to separate values and principles from beliefs in supernational forces, concepts of God, and, therefore, from historical religion. However, in modern times, many scientists as well as indigenous peoples have left behind personifications of God. They rather see God or Great Spirit or Spirit of Life as energy inherent in all life forms, including human life forms. Science is all about studying life forms. Therefore, there is great overlap in concepts, leading some people to define themselves as spiritual, not religious. I tend to put myself in that group when I need to check some labeling box.

I prefer to use the terms secular ethics and religious ethics. I use the term secular ethics to refer to values related to optimal human interpersonal values and principles. I use the term religious ethics to refer to the values and principles asserted in various religious creeds and deist belief systems, i.e., human behavior validated in the name of God."

Use of the term, in the name of God has led to much violence historically. This, in my opinion, has been done by people mistaking their ego desires or their institutional desires for God’s will, to allow for violence against other human beings. In modern times these attitudes and behaviors on the parts of religious leaders have given religion a bad reputation. At the same time, various religions have contributed positively to secular ethics and their contributions need to be acknowledged by modern ethicists.

Chapter 12, the final chapter, includes some rather personal words about my personal background, why I chose to write this book and how I am hoping it will be helpful to readers.

With honesty toward ourselves and others, and with self-responsible ways of processing our resentments and our desires, it is likely our lives will be happy. This book is designed to help you along this path. If it has been helpful to you, please pass it on to others.

Sincerely,

Janet C. Lindeman, PhD

Psychologist & Educator

PART ONE: OVERCOMING OUR RESENTMENTS

Chapter 1: Developing an Observer Self & Filtering Projections

To improve our communication and behavioral ethics, it is important to start developing an Observer Self. This means developing the ability to:

1)Watch your thoughts and feelings.

2) Accept your thoughts and feelings without judgment.

3) Consider one’s own possible projection distortions and those of others.

4) Evaluate those thoughts as to whether they are kind toward self and others.

5) Filter those thoughts as to the likely consequences if they are spoken and acted upon in different ways.

6) Make wise verbal and behavioral choices for oneself.

This takes time and practice, but the rewards are well worth it. As we practice noticing our thoughts before we speak, we develop much more control over what we say and what we do. We also develop much more ability to notice how our words and tone of voice impact others. We become more skillful in seeing the consequences of our actions, so we can decide if our habits are helpful or harmful. We can decide if an apology for our own behavior is needed or not. We can learn to eventually take our own self-inventories as to how we are doing with applying our values and developing our characters.

Character development for many people is just a haphazard process, not a conscious decision. For example, many people are very self-critical. This can lead to excessive defensiveness when they are given feedback. They can become phobic of feedback and angry when it is received, even if the feedback might be given in a kind and helpful way.

Learning to recover from resentments starts with self-awareness about how we form the resentments. We need to be aware of not only how we perceive ourselves as being treated, but how our inner thoughts are processing the outer stimuli. While we are observing our thoughts and feelings, we need to do this with self-awareness. We need to consider whether we are being curious and self-accepting, or judgmental toward ourselves. Self-criticism just blocks awareness.

Many people just react to outer events without awareness of inner responses. If they don’t like the outer event, then they just react angrily or defensively. If they don’t like how the other responds to their behavior, then they form a resentment and let it fester for a long time, maybe even indefinitely avoiding the person whose behavior they didn’t like or engaging in revengeful actions. If this person is a work colleague, a boss, or a family member, this can become a problem. The results will eventually alienate others.

If this pattern repeats itself in many different relationships, the person can become isolated, lonely, and angry, and respond to those feelings by blaming others. The person doesn’t realize that he or she is creating the situation by lack of skill in self-observation. Therefore, the person doesn’t take responsibility for self-actions.

The critical blaming and shaming behavior, which has added to the resentment, needs to be owned by the person forming the resentment. Resentment is a feeling that easily leads to blaming others for it. We don’t usually blame others for our sadness or compliment others for our joys, so why are we projecting responsibility out onto others for our resentful feelings? It doesn’t make sense, yet it is so easy to do, and easier than examining ourselves. It’s easy to avoid looking at how we ourselves might have contributed to the situation to which we are reacting.

You made me mad! is a common way children act on the playground. As we mature, we need to grow out of that dishonesty. We always choose our emotional responses to an outer event, even if we are not aware of our inner choices. To develop this kind of inner awareness, we need to give ourselves time to think about an outer event, observe our thoughts about it, and then choose our response to it. This means slowing down and taking control of inner experiences. This self-control empowers us. Believing that someone else makes me mad disempowers us.

We have choices about how we want to respond to our outer world. We need to give ourselves time to notice our inner thoughts and feelings to make good choices.

Understanding how the brain functions can help. When we don’t take time to examine our thoughts and feelings and just quickly react to an outside event, we are reacting from a part of the brain called the amygdala. It is part of the lower brain. This is the part of the brain that responds quickly to emotion. The part of our brain that is capable of more complete awareness is in the upper cortex of the brain. The upper cortex needs to take time to be aware of the feelings in the amygdala. This takes more time than just the chemical reactions coming from our amygdala. When we take a few deep breaths and remember to observe ourselves, not just others who are behaving in ways we don’t like, we can learn to watch our own thoughts and feelings before we make choices about how to respond to outer situations. This leads to much more satisfying relationships.

Doing the first three steps in this resentment-controlling process involves:

1) Taking responsibility for our feelings,

2) Carefully observing the outer stimulus and one’s inner response to that stimulus, and

3) Considering one’s own possible projection distortions and those of others.

These are challenging steps. They involve some self-observation about our own past and the past of others. Psychological research has shown how emotional patterns established in childhood may have helped us to survive difficult situations but may become dysfunctional patterns in adulthood.

I’ll give you an example from my childhood. I was born in 1941 on Pearl Harbor Day in the Philippine Islands. This was when Japan bombed Hawaii and when the U.S. joined World War Two. The Japanese occupiers arrived at our island in the Philippines when I was just a few months old. Rather than allowing ourselves to be put into a concentration camp and suffer much physical hardships, my parents chose to join with Filipino friends and escape up into the interior mountains where there were only footpaths and no roads. Japanese soldiers sent raiding parties up into these areas to find Americans hiding there, but the Filipino soldiers used conch shells to relay messages about incoming raiders. My family hid out in caves and the jungle whenever such messages came our way. We were never captured.

This hiding likely saved our lives, but my siblings and I learned to suppress our voices to create safety for everyone around us. I learned excessive self-control and not enough skill in asking for help when I needed it. It took me some years in adolescence and young adulthood to change that pattern. There was no one to blame for these habits. They were survival skills. But they were not well-suited to me when I returned to the States to go to college and had to be independent. I was overly independent at first and had to work for years to find a balance between independence and dependence. I had to learn how to be appropriately interdependent with others.

I had to learn what were my emotional projections onto others and to recognize what might be others’ projections onto me. Some of the things I learned to do was to ask my college roommates for help to do simple things like working the washing machine, as well as complicated things such as how to pass a calculus course. Once I learned how to ask for help in an assertive way, rather than a non-assertive way, I had to learn the difference between helping and controlling. Some of these new skills involved just learning to adapt to an American culture, rather than the Filipino culture I had lived in for twelve years. Other of these skills involved my recognizing and not judging myself for some habits I had learned as survival skills during World War II which weren’t appropriate anymore.

We all have some learned thinking patterns and behaviors which we have learned from childhood that are maladaptive to adulthood. But, if we don’t discover what they are, we can’t learn to change them. Then they continue to