Mangled Romantic

By Karol Lynne

What is love? Baby, I know it will hurt me...

Scarlet Devons suffers from a case of "love incapability." Her heart is in a stage of pure confusion in the chaotic world of a senior in high school. Not only does she have to make sure her friend Vanessa is in a good headspace during a tough time, but she also needs to cope with an awkward love moment with Michael - the self-proclaimed sex therapist.

The chaos of it all made Scarlet rethink her entire identity because her inability to experience true love affected her mentally. Luckily, Scarlet met Iris and Evan along the way, who broadened her horizon and made her learn life-changing lessons. Personal growth is a process that lasts a lifetime, and Scarlet Devons experienced the most of it in such a short amount of time.

Love is like an illusion that needs a specific type of lens. What conclusion will Scarlet reach? Is she really unable to love anybody?

• Language: English
• Publisher: Karol Lynne
• Release date: Jun 30, 2024
• ISBN: 9798224757657

Book preview

I dedicate this book to all the people who are confused about love. Y’all are not alone.

MANGLED ROMANTIC

LOVELESS SOUL

When the heart cannot

Feel the fire from the one

That keeps the energy

Flowing through you,

You must accept that

Not everyone is the same,

And that not all hearts

Are made to love you...

PART I

CHAPTER 1

Why did my heart reject Michael?

Was he that bad?

Like, the situation we got into was tragic, but was he that horrible?

I liked him and all, but something weird happened, something tangled.

I thought he looked really cute in his suit during prom night, especially with his brown hair that was cut very short. It was a dumb decision in his opinion, but I thought it made him look even hotter. During the whole prom, we were talking and drinking juice punch that was mixed with vodka that he snuck in. Everything was perfect that night, until we went to his place, and he started getting undressed.

The facial expression I made when he started unbuckling his belt could have made a baby cry.

What’s wrong, Scarlet? he asked with his eyes full of confusion.

I didn’t answer his question, and I just ran out of his room with tears in my eyes. I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t have sex with him.

Also, I didn’t know that I could run so fast in high heels.

Something was holding me back and it was killing me. I adored Michael and his druggy laid back attitude. He was such a chill person, and we always had an enjoyable time when we saw each other in school.

There was some kind of block inside of me, and I just couldn’t figure out what it was.

It was like an invisible force that appeared between us.

It was normal for young people like us to have sexual relations and be intimate with each other, but I was just not ready for that. Or was there something else? There must have been a deeper issue because who would run away from someone like that?

Well, I would. And I did.

Am I broken? - I thought to myself while laying on my bed with my red hair covering my face. It was like I was under a ginger spider’s cobweb.

It was the morning after prom, I was still in my lavender dress that I wore. When I got home from Michael’s, I just jumped into my bed and put on my headphones. I listened to Taylor Swift songs until I fell asleep and forgot everything that happened.

The morning was nice, the sunlight was coming through my window, illuminating my bookshelves full of books, the plants that took place on every surface imaginable. Books and plants were my favorite things, so I wasn’t shy about filling my room with them.

I could have laid in bed the whole day, but I felt disgusting - my dress was drenched in sweat and my hair needed to get brushed immediately, because my luscious curls became a literal ginger jungle.

I sat up and picked up my phone. There were several missed calls from Micheal and a text message from Vanessa, my closest friend.

Vanessa: Did you finally lose your virginity to the druggy?

My friend was crazy and straight-forward. That’s why I loved her. She always cut right to the chase, no matter what the subject was.

Me: No, I ran away.

Me: Come over at noon, I have a lot of tea to spill.

I threw my phone on my bed and stood up. I walked over to the mirror next to the door and admired my messy appearance. I looked like a witch of sorts. A witch that would leave men with blue balls.

The blue ball witch.

I need help, - I thought to myself.

Suddenly, my room’s door opened, and my mom peeked her head through. Once she saw me, her eyes widened, and her mouth opened.

Scarlet, what happened to you? she asked me while trying not to laugh.

Mom! I whined.

She burst out laughing. I’m sorry, Scar, but you look a mess, she said. Did you get drunk last night?

No, mom, I didn’t. I just got tired and fell asleep once I got back home.

My mom squinted her green eyes and looked me up and down. She saw right through me and my bullshit.

Okay, I believe you, she said. Clean yourself up and come downstairs, I made breakfast.

She shut the door and left.

I really loved my mom, she was not like other moms, she was a cool one. She was my true best friend who didn’t care about any rules or restrictions. She also wasn’t shy about treating me like a baby, since I was the only kid in our family.

I loved being the only kid. All the attention came to me. It was overwhelming at times, but I couldn’t complain. I was spoiled and happy.

I did as she said and changed from my lavender dress into gray sweatpants and an oversized plain pink shirt. I took a makeup wipe from my vanity and wiped away the remnants of my mascara that was running down my face. Then I grabbed my hairbrush and brushed my locks until they looked as they always did - stunning. I took another look at myself in the mirror.

Damn, I look good. - I thought to myself and left my room.

Self-love was something that my mom taught me. Not only her, but RuPaul herself stated, that if you can’t love yourself, how in the hell are you going to love somebody else?

Once I left my room, my nose got tickled by the smell of pancakes and coffee. It was going to be a good breakfast, since I loved pancakes more than I loved myself. Those pancakes weren’t gourmet or anything, they were made from a simple pancake mix that my mom would buy in the grocery store, but they still managed to make my heart sweeter.

Before heading to the kitchen, I stopped by the bathroom to wash my face with ice-cold water. That wave of cold washed away the disgusting hangover feeling that made me feel like a zombie from The Walking Dead.

As I was drying my face with a towel, something caught my eye. In the trash can, at the very top was a small rectangular box.

A box of a pregnancy test.

My heart stopped for a moment.

First of all, the thought of having a sibling was atrocious, since I hated little kids.

Second of all, the thoughts of my parents having sex sent shivers down my spine.

I knew sex was normal and all, but the thought of my parents doing it was terrifying.

My parents are fucking right across the hallway from me, - I thought. Every night.

I mean, I couldn’t blame them. They could have all the sex they had, I just wished to not to know about it. Also, why did they want another kid? Was I not enough?

It also could have been an accident, where my mom just wanted to make sure she wasn’t pregnant, so she took the test. If my parents really wanted another kid, they would have done that a long time ago. I was eighteen years old, so the age difference between me and a new kid would be massive.

My parents were also getting older, so it wouldn’t have made sense to me.

I could have stood in that bathroom and asked myself dumb questions all day, but I brushed all my thoughts off and left. Whatever the case was – it was gross.

I went to the kitchen to find my mom sitting at one end of the table, reading something on her phone. On the other side of the table, I saw my dad reading a newspaper.

Who reads newspapers these days? I asked him and sat at the side of the table, between my parents.

People who hate getting brainwashed, he said and threw a look at mom who was invested in whatever she was reading on her phone. How was prom?

Boring as hell, I replied. Nobody got into a fight, nobody died - just a casual prom.

Would someone dying make it better? he looked at me with his brown eyes.

Well, it would have been way more interesting than just dancing to the most basic pop songs, I replied and took a bite of my pancake.

Talks the girl who is obsessed with Taylor Swift, dad murmured.

Talks the guy still living in the eighties, I clapped back. It’s 2023, nobody cares about news on paper.

Dad let out a dry laugh and continued reading his newspaper.

I loved how he didn’t let anyone change me. He was just dad. He did dad stuff and didn’t care about anyone else’s opinion.

I finished my meal and washed all the dishes. I put everything away and left the kitchen looking pristine, just the way I liked seeing it.

I went back to my room and checked the time on my phone, it was almost noon. I didn’t realize that I had slept in, and that breakfast took so long.

I also saw a new message from Vanessa.

Vanessa: I will come. Unlike you.

She was one dirty-minded girl.

Me: Ew.

I threw my phone back on the bed, ignoring Michael’s missed calls once again. I needed a break from him, so I decided to keep him waiting.

I still couldn’t figure out what happened between us, more specifically – what happened with me.

I walked over to my bookshelf and picked out a book to start reading, since I finished the one, I was reading right before leaving for prom. I had a lot of unread books, my TBR list never seemed to end, but I didn’t complain. I was sure I would have what to read until the day I die.

I eventually picked out a cozy small town romance novel, thinking it will cleanse my palette after reading a murder mystery novel. I also secretly hoped that it would clarify why I rejected Michael the way that I did. Books had all the answers to my questions, I just had to look for them.

I sat down in my comfy armchair next to the bookshelves and started reading. I quickly got lost in the book and lost track of time.

***

What’s up, loser, Vanessa exclaimed after storming into my room and bringing me back to reality.

Hey, Vanessa. Nice of you to knock.

Vanessa was wearing her signature look - distressed blue jeans, a gray tank top with a biker leather jacket on top. She was badass.

Tell. Me. Everything, she said to me.

Hold your horses, let’s go outside for a walk, I need some air and I have some tea to spill that can’t be heard in this house.

Oh, this is gonna be good, Vanessa cheered. She loved gossip.

We left my room and just as we were about to leave through the front door, my mom came out of the living room, holding a bag of chips.

Where are you going, ladies? she asked while putting a potato chip in her mouth.

For a walk, we’ll be back in a couple of hours, I said and opened the front door. Vanessa walked out first but I remained inside.

You know what I think about that girl, mom said to me in a lower voice.

She’s the only person I don’t mind out of my entire school, I said and shrugged.

You better not become like her.

Okay, no need for a lecture right now. Bye," I said and walked outside.

I walked down the couple of steps from our porch and reached the sidewalk, where Vanessa was waiting.

Let’s go, I said, and we started walking down the street, towards the national park that was nearby.

We walked in silence for a bit, Vanessa definitely knew what my mom said, since one time she overheard the exact same thing not too long ago.

I know that my mom’s a bitch, I said to her. Just know that her opinion doesn’t dictate mine.

I know, it’s just difficult to hear things like that, when the only thing I’m doing is just being myself, she sighed.

Being yourself is the best crime to commit, I reassured her. Maybe my mom is just jealous because she cannot be the person she truly wants to be.

Yeah probably, she said and took out a pack of cigarettes out of her pocket. Now, tell me what happened last night, she demanded while blowing out a cloud of smoke.

I took a deep breath - I didn’t want to talk about it, but I knew that if I did talk about it, I would feel way better on the inside.

Well, everything started when I arrived and saw Michael.

Your druggy friend?

Yes, I sighed. The druggy. Now, back to the story. When Michael saw me, he immediately came over to me and we didn’t separate the whole night. I was glad that I had someone to talk to in an event that I didn’t want to be at.

What about me? Vanessa asked.

You walked off to smoke pot with those mean girls, I clapped back.

Oh, yeah, you’re right, she said and inhaled more cigarette smoke. Continue.

We decided to go outside, because the whole prom was boring to both of us, I continued. We walked down the street that was illuminated by the streetlamps - it was quite romantic, not gonna lie. We didn’t talk much.

I saw Vanessa’s devilish smile; she loved all the gossip.

We eventually reached his house, where he tried to fuck me.

Vanessa started coughing.

What? she asked, still coughing.

"He tried to