Priceless Father

By Rev. Dr. Ebele Okonkwo Onuigbo

“The Priceless Father” delves into the critical role parents play in a child’s upbringing
and examines the profound impact of parental absence on their development. This
book emphasizes the necessity of a stable family environment as the foundation for
success in both career and community life. In today’s society, a significant number
of children are raised by single mothers, highlighting the alarming statistic that at
least one in three children comes from a broken home.
While there are success stories of children raised by single parents, these narratives
often overlook the immense commitment, love, and hard work involved. The
book addresses the misconception that having both parents guarantees a child’s
success, noting that even when both parents are present, they may be emotionally
or financially absent, leaving a void in the child’s life.
“The Priceless Father” argues for the importance of effective communication and
conflict resolution to maintain a nurturing home environment. It also explores
the concept of finding spiritual fulfillment and guidance from God when earthly
parents fall short. Through this perspective, the book offers insights into coping
mechanisms and finding solace in the absence of ideal parental figures.
Ultimately, this book serves as a guide for parents and couples, empowering them
to navigate turbulent times with sensitivity toward their children’s needs. Through
mutual respect, effective communication, and a commitment to resolving conflicts,
families can strive toward harmony and stability, safeguarding the well-being of
the next generation.

• Language: English
• Publisher: WestBow Press
• Release date: Jun 26, 2024
• ISBN: 9798385027774

Rev. Dr. Ebele Okonkwo Onuigbo

Readers will be captivated by Rev. Dr. Ebele Okonkwo Onuigbo’s unique voice in “The Priceless Father” due to her extensive experience as a spiritual leader and her deep commitment to family and faith. Her credentials as a reverend and doctor add profound insights and credibility to her guidance.

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Copyright © 2024 Rev. Dr. Ebele Okonkwo Onuigbo.

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This book is a work of non-fiction. Unless otherwise noted, the author and the publisher make no explicit guarantees as to the accuracy of the information contained in this book and in some cases, names of people and places have been altered to protect their privacy.

All Scripture quotations are taken from the Holy Bible,

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WestBow Press

A Division of Thomas Nelson & Zondervan

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Bloomington, IN 47403

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ISBN: 979-8-3850-2778-1 (sc)

ISBN: 979-8-3850-2777-4 (e)

Library of Congress Control Number: 2024912480

WestBow Press rev. date:  06/26/2024

Contents

Dedication

Acknowledgements

Preface

Chapter 1     The Biological Father

1.1   Responsibilities of a Father

1.2   The Original Father

Chapter 2     When Man Steps Out God Steps In

2.1   Absence in Good Faith

2.2   Adapting to the Environment

Chapter 3     Bleeding Gap

Chapter 4     Recognition and Affirmation

4.1   Talking The Talk But Not Walking The Walk

4.1   Your Kingdom Come

Chapter 5     Impact/Proper Role Model

5.1   A Proper Role Model

Chapter 6     Emotional Turmoil/Incomplete Man

6.1   Emotional Flip Flop

Chapter 7     Exploitation: Gap, Peer pressure, Sex, Drug, Money, Gang, etc.

7.1   Guide/words of wisdom

Chapter 8     Danger of Filling the Gab

Chapter 9     Torn Between Two Worlds

Chapter 10   Focus/Bridge the Gap by the Power of God

Chapter 11   Healing Process

Chapter 12   Need to be Involved

Chapter 13   Jesus Is The Answer

Chapter 14   COVID19 March 2020

Chapter 15   Priceless Father

Chapter 16   Should A Man Dwell in his Mistakes?

Chapter 17   Recommendations

Reference

"Sing to God, sing in praise of his name, extol

him who rides on the clouds; rejoice before him-

his name is the Lord. A father to the fatherless, a

defender of widows, is God in his holy dwelling".

Psalm 68:4-5

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my late parents, Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Onuigbo, who epitomized true parenthood. They nurtured me and my siblings with unwavering love, guiding us through both joyful and challenging times, leaving behind a legacy that continues to inspire us.

I also dedicate this book to Munachimsoaga and Chidubem Darlington, who are being raised in the grace of God the Father, God the Son, and God the Holy Spirit. They exemplify responsible young men, growing under the divine guidance of the Holy Spirit.

Furthermore, I dedicate this book to the millions of single parents, caregivers, and mentors who tirelessly strive to improve the lives of children. This includes orphans, children traumatized by parental separation, young adults, adults, and minors who have endured abuse due to parental neglect. Lastly, I extend this dedication to the successful young men and women who have triumphed against adversity by the grace of God, becoming inspiring success stories despite the odds they faced.

Acknowledgements

I am profoundly grateful to God Almighty for His unwavering presence throughout the journey of completing and publishing this book, The Priceless Father. It is by His grace that I have remained steadfast, and I pray that He will utilize this book to strengthen families and lead children onto the path of a fulfilling life.

I extend my heartfelt acknowledgment to my late parents, Mr. and Mrs. Christopher Okonkwo Onuigbo, who raised me and my siblings with unwavering dedication through both good and challenging times. Regardless of our circumstances, they provided for us, instilled essential values and principles, shaping us into the individuals we are today. Their love and discipline have enabled me to raise my sons as a single mother while remaining committed to this noble cause. Papa and Mama, thank you for your enduring guidance and support.

I am also indebted to Dr. Emmanuel and Dr. Mrs. Chi Onyedike, as well as Engineer Vincent Onuigbo, for their courageous decision to facilitate a better life for me in the United States of America. Additionally, I express my gratitude to Dr. Obi Okonkwo Onuigbo for stepping in and assuming the role of a unifying force, continuing the legacy of love and unity within our family. Your unwavering support has been a beacon of strength, and for that, I am truly thankful. I extend my sincere gratitude to Chief and Lolo Emeka Okpo, as well as all my siblings, for their love and support.

To Chief and Lolo Emeka Okpo and Mr. Chuks Onuigbo, thank you for filing the gap and assuming a great role in Nigeria. To my wonderful siblings, in-laws, friends, and church family: thank you for your unwavering support, prayers, and love throughout this journey. May the Lord bless each of you abundantly.

Furthermore, I want to extend my deepest appreciation to Dr. Peter Clave Ajer, my spiritual director, for his invaluable support. His guidance and insights have been instrumental in ensuring the clarity, accuracy, and impact of the content. Dr. Ajer’s dedication and commitment to this project have significantly contributed to its successful completion.

I also extend my gratitude to all single parents, mentors, and the success stories of children who have overcome their struggles despite the absence of one or both parents. Finally, I acknowledge all the parents and mentors who have taken it upon themselves to sacrifice and stand solidly beside children, giving them a chance for a better life. Thank you for your unwavering support and dedication.

Preface

PRICELESS FATHER

This book delves into the critical role of parents in child upbringing and examines the profound impact of parental absence on a child’s development. It emphasizes the necessity of a stable family environment, which serves as the foundation for success in both career and community life. In today’s society, a significant number of children are raised by single mothers, highlighting the alarming statistic that at least one out of every three children comes from a broken home.

While there are success stories of children raised by single parents, these stories often fail to acknowledge the immense commitment, love, determination, and hard work that single parents invest in their child’s upbringing. The book addresses the misconception that having both parents present guarantees a child’s success. In many cases, even when both parents are physically present, they may be spiritually, emotionally, psychologically, or financially absent, leaving a void in the child’s life. This raises questions about parental duties and responsibilities and the consequences of their neglect.

The book argues that amidst parental shortcomings, there exists the concept of the Priceless Father who can fill the void left by earthly parents. It explores the idea of finding spiritual fulfillment and guidance from God when earthly parents fall short. Through this perspective, the book offers insights into coping mechanisms and finding solace in the absence of ideal parental figures.

Children are a great gift from God. The greatest desire of most couples on earth is to have children, and this is a universal language and passion. God’s purpose for creating the man and woman is to populate the earth. God blessed them and said to them, Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it (Genesis 1:28). It is a natural phenomenon for married couples to desire to have children to culminate their love and have one who will carry on the family name. Couples take pride and joy to announce the arrival of their children. The gift of a child is like no other, most notably because it is a mystery. And it takes the coming together of a man and a woman to fulfill. When couples give birth to children, they are eager to see who the child resembles. Has the child taken after the mother or the father? As time goes by, both parents nurture and watch the child blossom from a helpless infant to a fully grown adult. For some couples, it takes them years of waiting, heartache, medical intervention, money, and waiting upon the Lord for a gift of a child. In all these rigors of having and rearing children, the Bible tells us in The Book of Psalm 127:3, children are a heritage from the LORD, offspring a reward from him."

The Book of Proverbs 22:6 states, Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old, he will not depart from it. This verse is packed with meaning; It is requesting that Parents train their children in the way they desire to see their children grow. It is an injunction given to both father and mother (parents) to train their children. Training requires a lot. The parents are the trainer at this point, meaning both Father and Mother. A trainer has to know the subject and the skills necessary to teach and impact on their children’s lives. A Father has a huge role to play in imparting knowledge to his children. A trainer has to have a curriculum, a lesson plan, material, and, most importantly, to teach /train the student. Otherwise, the trainer will be a failure regardless of his qualification or wealth of knowledge. And if the student happens to get a trainer who is available and willing to commit, provide all the necessary materials and be open to training the student, that student will become successful. Otherwise, if the student goes through the rigor of self-training and overcomes all the challenges that come with self-training, the student will eventually be successful. Training a child in the way that he should grow requires the presence, commitment, involvement, sacrifice, and provision of the biological father and mother to be successful.

In our contemporary society, where broken homes are becoming increasingly prevalent and divorce rates soar, countless children find themselves longing for the affection and nurturing care of both parents. The absence of a father or mother figure, in particular, casts a profound shadow over the lives of these vulnerable children, leaving an immense void that seems insurmountable. They grapple with feelings of abandonment and uncertainty, navigating life’s challenges without the steady guidance and support of a paternal or maternal influence. However, amidst these struggles, there are stories of resilience and strength. children, despite the absence of one parent, find solace and support from a devoted single parent or other nurturing figures in their lives. Through the unwavering love and guidance of this devoted parent, they learn to overcome their loneliness and forge a path forward. Moreover, there is the ever-present comfort of the Priceless Father in heaven. He never abandons children; rather, He embraces them with His boundless love, filling the emptiness in their hearts. With the assurance of His presence, children find the strength to navigate life’s challenges and overcome adversity.

In the midst of their struggles, the influence of a devoted parent and the unwavering love of the Heavenly Father serve as beacons of hope, guiding children through the darkest moments and illuminating the path to a brighter future. Amidst the tumult and uncertainty of our contemporary society, there shines a beacon of hope: the Priceless Father in heaven. He never abandons these forsaken children; instead, He enfolds them in His boundless love, banishing the emptiness that plagues their hearts. God extends His compassionate hand to those who feel neglected and deserted, offering solace and direction to all who seek His refuge. In the midst of adversity and despair, the unwavering love of our Heavenly Father, as conveyed in Romans 8:35, serves as a constant source of strength and reassurance. His enduring presence remains steadfast, a beacon of hope that illuminates even the darkest corners of their lives.

In this narrative of divine love and solace, those who have felt the sharp pang of abandonment find a comforting embrace in the arms of the Priceless Father. Through His love, they discover a sense of belonging and purpose that transcends earthly struggles. Each day becomes a testament to the resilience nurtured by His love, empowering them to rise above their circumstances with newfound strength and resolve. As they journey through life’s twists and turns, the unwavering guidance of the Heavenly Father becomes their guiding light, leading them toward a future filled with hope and promise.

The Crucial Role of Fathers in Child Development

Prioritizing Parental Responsibilities and Overcoming Absence Challenges

Any parent or couple with children who neglect their duty to train their child goes against God’s command. This command is the primary responsibility assigned by God, and children should always be the parents’ top priority, surpassing any personal desires for abandon or self-gratification. It is crucial for parents to prioritize the upbringing of their children and to instill in them the practical principles of life. This responsibility requires parents to work together toward a common vision and goal for their children’s future success. Most fathers aspire to see their children thrive and carry on their legacy. It is believed that when children are raised according to the values they have been taught, they will continue to follow that path as they grow older. The will of God for families is articulated in the book of Deuteronomy, emphasizing the importance of obeying His commands so that future generations may also live in reverence and obedience to Him. children who grow up without the presence of their fathers often suffer from the negative consequences of lacking paternal love, guidance, protection, direction, and support.

In most cases, these kids who are denied the love, care, and support and guidance of their father grow up bitter, angry, and frustrated through this growth process. A child that grows up in bitterness and anger is like a time bomb, and even though some become successful as adults, some still nurture that bitterness. And if they never get a chance to get into counseling to pour out their heart by relieving and dealing with what they went through growing up, they will feel that their lives would have been better if only they had a father figure as a child. In essence, they need therapy to overcome the taught bitterness and anger they harbor in their hearts.

Many children profoundly affected by the absence of a father figure in their lives find themselves struggling well into adulthood, grappling with a myriad of challenges that hinder their ability to find their identity and navigate life’s complexities. may tragically end up in juvenile asylums, their unresolved issues and emotional turmoil leading to destructive behaviors that result in lifelong incarceration.

For others, the impact manifests in broken relationships, failed marriages, or the loss of employment opportunities, as they struggle to cope with the internal turmoil, bitterness, and anger stemming from their father’s absence. These unresolved emotions become burden weights that impede their personal growth and hinder their ability to form healthy connections with others. Without the guidance and support of a paternal influence, these young adults often find themselves adrift in a sea of uncertainty, desperately searching for a sense of belonging and purpose. Their journey to self-discovery is fraught with obstacles, as they grapple with feelings of abandon and inadequacy, unsure of where they fit in the world.

However, despite the challenges they face, there is hope for healing and restoration. With the right support system and a willingness to confront their past traumas, these young adults can embark on a journey of self-discovery and growth, reclaiming their sense of identity and finding peace within themselves. It is through facing their struggles head-on and seeking help when needed that they can break free from the cycle of pain and forge a path towards a brighter future.

Growing up without a biological father or mother is a stark reality for many individuals, and for, it presents an almost insurmountable challenge. This absence creates a profound void in the natural support system that is expected to accompany one’s birth and upbringing. It represents a critical link missing in the process of nurturing a human being from infancy through adulthood. The impact of the absence of either parent can be devastatingly negative. children may face a myriad of hardships, psychological struggles, social isolation, emotional turmoil, and financial instability as they navigate life without the guidance and presence of a mother or father figure. These challenges can significantly hinder their emotional and psychological development, leaving them feeling adrift and vulnerable in a world that often demands stability and security.

In the midst of such adversity, it is all too easy for children to lose hope and succumb to despair. However, there is a beacon of hope amidst the darkness. God’s promise to pave a way for those who seek Him offers reassurance and comfort in the face of overwhelming odds. As Isaiah 43:19 declares, See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland. Even in the darkest of times, there exists the possibility of divine intervention and renewal, leading children towards a brighter and more hopeful future.

children raised in the Christian faith, who have been abandoned by either parent, can find a sense of optimism and resilience if they allow the Priceless Father to guide them. In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus encourages believers to prioritize the pursuit of God’s kingdom and righteousness, promising that all other things will be provided as well (Matthew 6:33). By placing their trust in God and seeking His guidance, individuals navigating the challenges of growing up without a father can find strength, comfort, and purpose in their journey.

Abandon, divorce, and having a child out of wedlock are far from ideal situations for raising children. Often, children are the product of their parents’ love. However, many couples lack the resolve to set aside their own comfort and work through misunderstandings and disagreements to provide a stable environment for their children. Consequently, the children bear the brunt of their parents’ conflicts, experiencing the fallout of their fractured relationship. This breakdown not only leaves a significant void in the lives of the parents but also creates a perilous path for the children to navigate. For children, this upheaval shatters their spirits, leaving them feeling lost and adrift. Others, fortunate enough to have a strong support system, may find the resilience to carry on despite the challenges they face.

The abandon of parents can often feel like the death knell of hope in a child’s life. The absence of a paternal figure creates a profound void that is challenging to fill. Without the guidance, love, and support of a father, children may struggle to find their way and realize their full potential. However, even in the darkest times, there remains hope. With the right support and guidance, children can overcome the obstacles they face and thrive despite their circumstances. It is crucial to acknowledge the importance of providing children with a stable and nurturing environment, regardless of their parents’ challenges. By fostering a strong support system and prioritizing the well-being of the children, we can help them navigate life’s difficulties and emerge as stronger, more resilient individuals.

God has a unique plan for every person’s life. As stated in Jeremiah 1:5, God declares, Before I formed you in the womb, I knew you, before you were born, I set you apart; I appointed you as a prophet to the nations. Much like Jeremiah, who initially resisted and shied away from his destiny when God called him, each individual is fearfully and wonderfully made by God and has a specific purpose, regardless of their personal circumstances.

Every person has a role to play in fulfilling their destiny. While individuals may experience a smooth journey towards fulfilling their purpose, others may face greater challenges and need to work harder to achieve their destiny. However, God’s plan for each person remains unchanged, and His guidance and support are available to all who seek it. A child growing up without a father often finds themselves in a situation beyond their control, as they have no say in the decisions made by their parents. Couples, in their pursuit of personal satisfaction, times make selfish choices, disregarding the impact on their children. Unfortunately, the child is left powerless to prevent their father or mother from walking away. During times of conflict or hardship within a relationship, couples become so consumed with their own issues that they overlook the needs of their children. This disregard for their offspring’s well-being can lead to significant and enduring repercussions. children may experience feelings of abandonment, insignificance, or neglect amidst their parents’ turmoil, exacerbating the challenges they face during their developmental years.

God has graciously bestowed upon humanity the gift of wisdom and knowledge to lead fulfilling lives. Through His divine guidance, He has provided us with guidelines for prosperity, as outlined in Ephesians 5:31: For this reason, a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.

God’s intention is for individuals to enter into the sacred institution of marriage, where they are united with their spouse in a bond that transcends abandon. In this union, couples are called to nurture their offspring together, facing life’s challenges with steadfast love and commitment, until death separates them. Marriage is more than just a legal contract; it is a sacred covenant before God, where two individuals become one in heart, mind, and spirit. Through mutual support, understanding, and selflessness, couples can cultivate a relationship that honors God’s design and brings fulfillment and joy to their lives. However, despite God’s plan, life can present challenges that strain relationships.

However, despite God’s plan, life often presents challenges that can strain relationships. Yet, in many cases, these difficulties are not insurmountable. Overcoming them requires both partners to be proactive and committed to facing obstacles together. Fathers, in particular, bear a significant responsibility to uphold their role diligently, demonstrating strength and determination to keep their family united and to raise their children in a loving and supportive environment. children, being a divine gift, deserve to be nurtured and guided by both parents. The absence of either the mother or the father can lead to a sense of hopelessness for children, as they lack the crucial support and guidance necessary for their development. Despite advancements in science that enable individuals to conceive children, parenthood is not solely about biological reproduction. It entails sacrificial love and commitment to being present for one’s family. For those blessed with children, it is imperative to prioritize family over personal desires or material pursuits.

Sacrifices must be made to ensure that children are not deprived of the love and care they deserve. By remaining steadfast in their commitment to family, parents can create a nurturing environment where children can thrive and grow into responsible adults. While a child may feel powerless in the face of the unpredictable circumstances resulting from the absence of a father, teenagers, young adults, and adults have the ability to play a significant role in overcoming the challenges they face. Acknowledging the situation is the first step for a teenager or young adult living without their biological father. Instead of harboring resentment, bitterness, or anger, they can choose to let go of these negative emotions and focus on being grateful for who God has made them to be. This shift in mindset is crucial for success and for turning their situation around.

There are a billion and one reasons why couples fall apart or feel they cannot live together again or bear each other’s sight. Many of these reasons have absolutely nothing to do with children. One ugly factor is that couples often want to be free of each other and, in cases, of responsibilities. Among the myriad reasons couples drift apart, neglecting their children can certainly play a significant role. This neglect can stem from various issues such as financial stress, lack of communication, infidelity, incompatible goals, or unresolved conflicts. Additionally, emotional distance, substance abuse, and mental health issues can strain the bond between partners, leading to neglect of their parental duties.

Furthermore, the pressure of raising children can exacerbate existing problems in a relationship, causing couples to feel overwhelmed and incapable of maintaining their bond. individuals may perceive their children as obstacles to their personal freedom or career aspirations, leading them to prioritize their own needs over their parental responsibilities. Conversely, others may struggle with the emotional toll of leaving their children behind, amplifying feelings of guilt and inadequacy. In essence, while children can be a source of joy and fulfillment in a relationship, they can also become casualties of its breakdown when couples fail to prioritize their well-being amidst their own struggles and conflicts.

When parents decide to separate, it can profoundly impact the children, causing them great distress. However, this difficult decision should not mark the end of the road for either of the parents or the children. Despite the initial challenges, there is always a way forward, as highlighted in the Gospel of Luke 18:27: Jesus replied, ‘What is impossible with man is possible with God.’ In such circumstances, both parents should recognize the sacrifices they may need to make to ensure the well-being of their children. They can choose to seek counseling to address their differences and work towards co-parenting effectively. Counseling offers a valuable opportunity for open communication, understanding, and reconciliation, fostering hope for healing and restoration within the family unit.

Parents must prioritize the needs of their children over their own desires and differences. This may involve setting aside personal grievances and focusing on creating a stable and nurturing environment for the children. Through patience, understanding, and a commitment to their children’s welfare, parents can navigate the challenges of abandonment and provide the love and support their children need to thrive. Although the pain of abandon may feel overwhelming, families can overcome the challenges and emerge stronger with God’s guidance and support. It’s crucial to remember that nothing is impossible when we trust in God and seek His guidance. Parents or couples who choose to separate should not view each other as enemies. Instead, they should rise above their differences and prioritize the well-being of their children. Co-parenting becomes essential, especially when young children are involved. This involves putting aside personal grievances and finding ways to work together for the emotional well-being of the children. By focusing on the needs of the children and maintaining open communication, separated parents can create a supportive and nurturing environment for their children to thrive in. It may require patience, understanding, and compromise, but the ultimate goal is to provide stability and love for the children during this challenging time.

When couples separate, it’s not uncommon for feelings of resentment and animosity to arise. In cases, one party may seek vengeance against the other, disregarding the impact it may have on their children. However, it’s essential for parents to prioritize their responsibilities to their children and the family. It’s crucial for couples to recognize that seeking revenge only perpetuates negativity and further damages the well-being of everyone involved, including the children. Instead, they should strive to handle the abandonment with maturity and understanding, putting aside personal grievances for the sake of their children.

Amidst the tumult and uncertainty of our contemporary society, there shines a beacon of hope: the Priceless Father in heaven. He never abandons these forsaken children; instead, He enfolds them in His boundless love, banishing the emptiness that plagues their hearts. God extends His compassionate hand to those who feel neglected and deserted, offering solace and direction to all who seek His refuge. In the midst of adversity and despair, the unwavering love of our Heavenly Father, as conveyed in Romans 8:35, serves as a constant source of strength and reassurance. His enduring presence remains steadfast, a beacon of hope that illuminates even the darkest corners of their lives.

In this narrative of divine love and solace, those who have felt the sharp pang of abandonment find a comforting embrace in the arms of the Priceless Father. Through His love, they discover a sense of belonging and purpose that transcends earthly struggles. Each day becomes a testament to the resilience nurtured by His love, empowering them to rise above their circumstances with newfound strength and resolve. As they journey through life’s twists and turns, the unwavering guidance of the Heavenly Father becomes their guiding light, leading them toward a future filled with hope and promise.

There is always hope, even in the depths of despair, for those who feel abandoned or lost. In Romans 8:14, St. Paul illustrates this beautifully, recounting Abraham’s unwavering hope despite seemingly insurmountable odds. Abraham believed in the promise of God, that he would become the father of many nations, even when it seemed impossible. This story serves as a testament to the power of faith in God’s promises. If you find yourself in a place of doubt or uncertainty, know that you can place your hope in the Lord, the Creator of heaven and earth. He has a plan for each and every one of us, and he can turn any