Amy Gahran is a journalist based in Boulder, Colorado. She’s the author of “Stepping Off the Relationship Escalator: Uncommon Love and Life” — a research-based book about all kinds of unconventional intimate relationships. It covers consensual nonmonogamy, solohood, and much more. For several years, Amy also wrote (under the pen name Aggie Sez) the blog SoloPoly.net: about being polyamorous without living with or marrying any partners, and without needing anyone to be “primary” or “secondary.” In this episode, Amy talks about the Relationship Escalator: what it is, why people ride it, and why many folks may not have noticed it before. She shares some of the more common ways people choose to step off the Escalator, including personal stories from her own life and relationships, most notably with her dear friend and former spouse. We talk about couple privilege, the stigma of being single, how to better negotiate monogamy (if that’s our chosen relationship style), and what we can all do to help make the world a safer, friendlier place for all kinds of love. Amy’s book has been deeply impactful for me personally, and I’m so thrilled to share this conversation with you, as well as a 20% discount code that Amy has generously provided for anyone who is interested in buying her book. Just go to OffEscalator.com and enter the code NICOLE at checkout to save 20%. In the meantime, I hope you get a lot from this episode. I know I did! (more…)