095 | Valerie Chaney on Real Girl, Relationships, Self-Love, & Cultural Influences on Girls

Long Live: Erika Veurink Is Here (Part 2 of 2): This week is the second half of my conversation with secondhand-fashion-obsessed writer Erika Veurink. She’s written everywhere from NY Magazine to Vogue to WSJ, and currently writes the newsletter Long Live. She grew up in Iowa, has lived in NYC for nearly a decade, and recently visited LA so we spoke about how places become part of our identities. In Part 2, she shares how she met her husband and offers advice on romantic relationships. And of course, personal style, including her go-to outfit. We talk more about her Substack publication, where she covers everything from her advice on scoring vintage gems on Ebay to to body image. I even get an exclusive when I ask if she’d write a Substack on her favorite athletic shorts recs and she shares a few. If you missed Part 1 last week, we covered spirituality and rest and spoke about writing at length, including her love for the personal essay and how she structures her daily writing practice by LET IT OUT

57 min listen

Long Live: Erika Veurink Is Here (Part 1 of 2): This week is the first half of my conversation with secondhand-fashion-obsessed writer Erika Veurink. She’s written everywhere from NY Magazine to Vogue to WSJ, and currently writes the newsletter Long Live. She grew up in Iowa, has lived in NYC for nearly a decade, and recently visited LA so we spoke about how places become part of our identities. In Part 1, she shares how her religious upbringing led to her work ethic and ability to maintain multiple projects and jobs, but also impacted her thoughts on spirituality and rest. We cover writing at length including: her love of the personal essay and why publications are no longer running them, and where she sees the future of that style and media in general. She shares the best writing advice she’s been given and breaks down exactly how she structures her daily writing practice. We cover her Substack publication, where she covers everything from her advice on scoring vintage gems on Ebay t by LET IT OUT

76 min listen

The Art of Tending: Kerrilynn Pamer, Founder of CAP Beauty, Returns: This is a conversation with Kerrilynn Pamer, founder of CAP Beauty. It was recorded recently at her kitchen table with the scent of a walnut cake in the oven filling the room. She was first on in 2021 where we talked about starting CAP, cooking, and personal style, and I’ve been dying to have her back ever since. This episode covers updates on topics discussed last time plus we talk about: having a fixed vs. growth mindset, feeling left out, friendship vs. acquaintances, taking a psychological approach to aging, beauty, developing taste, interiors (including how to make your home feel like a supportive friend), and much more. She’s one of my all-time favorite guests. Let us know if you listen! by LET IT OUT

103 min listen

Messy Middles, Access, and Evolving with Kerrilynn Pamer, founder of CAP Beauty [REPOST]: This is a conversation is with Kerrilynn Pamer, co-founder of the wellness company CAP Beauty. We recorded this at her kitchen table overlooking the mountains drinking espresso. She talks about starting CAP, being in the "unsexy" middle of a project, her love of cooking and sharing food, her evolving personal style, how to build and sustain positive relationships, and a whole lot more. This was recorded in 2022 but I'm re-airing it today because she's returning to the show next week. I recorded a brand new interview with her where we reference some of the topics we discussed here and she gives updates of what happened since, so stay tuned for that next week! by LET IT OUT

86 min listen

Have Your Carbs & Eat Them Too: Phoebe Lapine Returns: This week I spoke to my close friend, chef, author, and screenwriter Phoebe Lapine. She is one of the most creative and self-aware people I know, and I deeply admire her and her work. We met years ago when I interviewed her when her book The Wellness Project came out and then again for her last book which was about SIBO. She has a new cookbook out now, called Carbivore, which I have been learning to cook from. We catch up in this episode about the topic of this new project which is, of course, carbs: we get into what led to carbs being demonized by the diet industry, what sugar and carbs actually mean for our blood sugar, food sequencing, digestion, how overthinking all of this can be damaging, and how we’ve both been on the extreme ends and how to navigate that. Let us know if you listen. by LET IT OUT

81 min listen

What To Do When Nothing Is Working: Jessica Lyda Returns: This week, Jessica Lyda returns. A friend recommended her sessions to me in 2020 and afterward I wanted to know how she got into it and have her share her wisdom here. The way that she works with people is hard to articulate, but she explains it well in this. Jessica has facilitated healing sessions with thousands of different people, from celebrities to therapists to shamans to skeptics to me! She helps you figure out some trapped emotions and how to release those. We also talk about: what to do when nothing is working, how to handle feeing stagnant, toxic relationships, setting boundaries, people-pleasing dynamics, overwhelm, catching ideas, and much more … let us know if you listen… by LET IT OUT

69 min listen

Free Oribhabor, Founder of The Record Club on Early Music Memories, Developing Taste & More (Part 2 of 2): This week is part 2 of my conversation with longtime DJ and music producer, Free Oribhabor. He’s the founder of The Record Club, an immersive album listening experience he hosts monthly in LA. As the LA Times put it, "He wanted to create a music listening experience that replicated the grandiose feeling of sitting in a theater and watching a film with other fans." In part 2 we talk about how his musical taste has developed, having confidence in one's taste and allowing taste to change, and he also takes questions from friends. Let us know if you listen. by LET IT OUT

81 min listen

Record Club Founder Free Oribhabor on Wormholes & Being a Jack-of-All-Trades (Part 1 of 2): This week is part 1 of a 2-part conversation I had with longtime DJ and music producer, Free Oribhabor. He’s also the founder of Record Club, an immersive album listening experience he hosts monthly in LA. As the LA Times put it, "He wanted to create a music listening experience that replicated the grandiose feeling of sitting in a theater and watching a film with other fans." As you’ll hear in these conversations (and you’ve felt if you’ve danced while he’s DJ-ing or been in the audience while he unpacks a favorite album) his enthusiasm is palpable. In this we not only talk about the origin of Record Club but also expanding it in the future while maintaining the intimate vision he had for it early on. In part 1 we talk about wormholes and research, being undervalued in education, making money doing many different things (being a jack-of-all-trades) which can mean that things take longer. And in by LET IT OUT

97 min listen

Dressing Generations: Norma Kamali on Reinvention, Priorities, and the More You Do, the More You Can Do Mentality [REAIR]: This week, we're re-airing a conversation from 2022 with designer Norma Kamali, whose 50-year career is as rich as her designs are iconic. She’s full of wisdom and perspective and gently gives me advice on everything from aging, to dating , to how she views busyness. We get into her thoughts on her evolving industry, upcoming generations, and so much more. by LET IT OUT

109 min listen

Creative Discipline in the Land of No Seasons with Jacqueline Suskin, Poet, Author & Educator: This week’s guest, Jacqueline Suskin, is a poet, educator, and the author of eight books, with work featured in publications including the New York Times, the Atlantic, and the Los Angeles Times. Her newest book, A Year in Practice, is a practical guide for using the natural seasons to inform creative rhythms, and how our rhythms are drawn from those of the earth. She now lives in Detroit where she works as a teaching artist with InsideOut Literary Arts, bringing nature poetry into classrooms with her Poem Forest curriculum. She spent many years living in Los Angeles where she began an ongoing project called Poem Store where she composed over forty thousand improvisational poems. In this conversation, we spoke about her transition from living in a place with very slight seasonal difference to a climate where the seasons are clear; how she protects her creative practice by experimenting with w by LET IT OUT

81 min listen

Organizing Chaos: Decluttering Expert Tracy McCubbin on Collecting Experiences, Not Objects: This week I spoke with decluttering expert and author Tracy McCubbin on why filling our homes with stuff makes us feel empty, aging and how she both got married and started her business later in life, and why connection and being helpful to others prevents clutter. Tracy came to my apartment and in this you'll hear her help figure out what's been preventing me from making some necessary changes and how you can make them too. Let us know if you listen. by LET IT OUT

70 min listen

Congrats On Your Breakup! Variety Show ft. Lacy Phillips, Mari Andrew, Yoke Lore, Rachelle Robinett, Robyn Kanner, Jon Marro, Kristin Hanggi & More!: In honor of Valentine’s Day it’s an episode about romantic love… just kidding it’s about breakups! It's part variety show from 2019 where I compiled all of the times (up until then) I spoke with guests on how heartbreak, grief, and sadness can lead to growth. I play some of my favorite clips from my conversations with manifestation advisor and founder of To Be Magnetic, Lacy Phillips, herbalist and founder of Supernatural, Rachelle Robinett, writer and designer Robyn Kanner, author Sara Avant Stover, dancer and writer Cody Cook-Parrott, illustrator and author Mari Andrew, artist Jon Marro, writer Jessica Ciencin Henriquez, musician Yoke Lore, director Kristin Hanggi ... it sounds like a bummer of an episode but it was actually quite optimistic, full of wisdom, and even at times funny. Then I react to hearing their advice 5 years later, ta by LET IT OUT

106 min listen

Paradox & Purge with James McCrae, Author of The Art of You: This week, my friend James McCrae is back on the podcast. James is an author, poet, artist, and founder of Sunflower Club, a global school and community dedicated to conscious creativity. He's the author of several books, his newest being The Art of You, which we talk about extensively here. Something I love about the book is the fascinating facts, anecdotes, and stories about James' life and the accumulated knowledge of different authors, musicians, filmmakers, spiritual teachers, and artists of all disciplines, from the Rolling Stones to Alan Ginsberg. Our conversation covers haikus, mistakes being portals, the id vs. ego, the role of criticism in pushing art forward, boundaries attracting people you love, and much more. Let us know if you listen! by LET IT OUT

113 min listen

Madelynn De La Rosa Returns (Part 2 of 2): Art, Connection, Embodiment, etc.: This week's episode is Part 2 of my conversation with filmmaker and ceramicist Madelynn De La Rosa. It’s been 3 years since she came over to record last and this conversation centered around all she learned in the last year. Recorded just before the holidays, she talks about how some of the biggest changes she’s made in her life have begun as New Year’s resolutions. In this second half, we talk about: how internal work can lead to external life changes, fear of being ordinary, her film recs, q&a from listeners, and more. If you missed Part 1, we discussed shadow work, learning to be gentler on yourself, gene keys, Abraham Hicks, spiritual principles that have helped us, and learning to not be too dogmatic about any of it. Let us know if you listen! by LET IT OUT

65 min listen

Resolutions & Reinvention: Madelynn de la Rosa Returns (Part 1 of 2): This week filmmaker and ceramicist Madelynn De La Rosa returns! It’s been 3 years since she came over to record last and this conversation centered around all she learned in the last year. Recorded just before the holidays, she talks about how some of the biggest changes she’s made in her life have begun as New Year’s resolutions. I’m breaking this into two parts: in this one we talk about shadow work, learning to be gentler on yourself, gene keys, Abraham Hicks, spiritual principles that have helped us, and learning to not be too dogmatic about any of it. Next week: how internal work can lead to external life changes, fear of being ordinary, her film recs and more. Let us know if you listen. by LET IT OUT

64 min listen

Molting and Slow Growth with Andrew Bird [REAIR]: ’Tis the season for a repeat. I chose this interview with musician Andrew Bird from the archive because he always reminds me of the holidays. Before I play my 2019 conversation with Bird, I speak about how an episode he recorded in 2020 with Maron impacted me, including his perspective on ‘molting’. Despite the discomfort I felt revisiting something recorded nearly 4 years ago and judging my past self’s interview style, what Bird shared with me in our conversation feels as relevant today as it did then. Happy Holidays! by LET IT OUT

74 min listen

Getting a Reset: Liz Tran Interviews Me: This episode is part of my interview as a guest on Liz Tran's podcast, Reset. Liz is an author, executive coach, and founder of Reset NYC. In addition to her fifteen years of tech and VC experience, Liz also coaches from her spiritual practice. She is a Buddhist and a trained meditation teacher. Her latest book, The Karma of Success, came out in July. I interviewed her around then where we spoke about the difference between self-esteem and self-worth, how to be assertive without being rude, how she works with founders, and more. In this episode, Liz not only interviews me but gives me a coaching session on air. Among other things, we speak about the role of emotion in decision making, regret, feeling behind, moves and other transitions, whether everything happens for a reason, and the pressure to "keep up with the Jonses". by LET IT OUT

46 min listen

Talking to Yourself: Katie Horwitch on How to Maintain Your Social Battery, Shift Negative Self-Talk & Plan a Freakout: This week, I talk to my good friend of nearly a decade, author Katie Horwitch. We reminisce about our years of friendship, both moving to New York, and the evolving nature of relationships with distance. Our conversation also delves into the celebration of her new book and exploring her writing process. With a background in theater, Katie has long been an advocate for helping women shift negative self-talk patterns, a theme central to her book. She emphasizes the importance of beginning with the "self" rather than the "talk" when trying to shift negative internal dialog. In this episode, we explore why developing a stronger sense of self is the initial step to shifting negative self-talk. Additionally, we touch on Katie's insights into loneliness, belonging, casual negativity, prioritization, coping with overwhelm, distilling a project down to a concise thesis, and en by LET IT OUT

125 min listen

Apologies & Authenticity: Shari Foos' Guide to Genuine Human Interaction: In this episode, I speak with Shari Foos, a marriage and family therapist and the visionary founder of The Narrative Method. We delve into the power of human connection, discussing concepts like the "cult of culture," the transformative impact of uninterrupted sharing, and the art of hosting salons. Shari shares her wisdom on managing overgiving, navigating friendships, and sustaining romantic relationships. We explore the nuances of self-work and its profound influence on our connections with others, what makes a genuine apology, feeling misunderstood, and effective communication techniques. Join us as Shari reflects on her bold move to LA at 20, her experiences in acting and the music industry, returning to school to become a therapist, and relocating to NYC where she began her practice. Plus, we unravel the intricacies of neurodiversity and the challenges of managing intrusive thoughts, creativity, and the a by LET IT OUT

101 min listen

Taylor Swift's Next Era? the Swiftologist Zachary Hourihane on pop culture, criticism, fandom, selective vulnerability, Taylormania vs. Beatlemania and more: This week I spoke with Zachary Hourihane, a journalist living in Singapore. After going to school in New York, he returned to Singapore and began his career working in journalism there. He now works in corporate advertising while simultaneously being a prolific pop culture creator. He delivers heavily researched video essays and his thoughtful perspective on pop culture on his channel Swiftologist. He has videos on everything from Lana Del Rey to Lorde. He’s best known for chronicling the life and times of his favorite pop icon, Taylor Swift. He’s been part of the fandom for over a decade and for the last four years, he’s co-hosted the podcast The Evolution of a Snake where he and his co-host, Madeline Rubicam (writer of the Lizard Review), go through year by year and break down the catalog and career of Taylor Swift. We cover t by LET IT OUT

122 min listen

Stuck In the Middle: A Spiraling Clip Show with Serena Wolf: This week is not an interview, instead it’s two clips from the second show I co-host with Serena Wolf, called Spiraling. It's our fifth season and this season is a little bit in the "messy middle," which I'll explain in the first clip from episode two. In it Serena and I talk about how stress and being “in process” affect anxiety, feeling stagnant, worrying about being behind, and how perspective is the ultimate reframe. It’s a toast to your next existential crisis… Then I play a clip from an unreleased episode where we discuss how we’ve been learning that taking breaks actually improves our productivity, while also touching on the surprising difficulty of committing to rest. Let us know if you listen! by LET IT OUT

106 min listen

Age, Art & Attachment: Cale Tyson Returns: This week Cale Tyson returns. He’s a musician originally from Texas, now living in LA. He walked over the other day and we caught up about what’s happened since he was here last including his upcoming pop country album. We talk about his music trajectory from playing in emo bands in high school to beginning a music career in Nashville to touring as a classic country artist and now, making the shift to pop country. We also delve into our feelings around aging and entering what Richard Rohr calls, "the second half of life," bouncing between projects, attachment styles, dating, and learning to not take anything too seriously—especially yourself. by LET IT OUT

58 min listen

Warm > Cool Melina Peterson on Effort in Effortless, Career Sabbatical, Pivoting and more: In this week's episode, I spoke to my good friend Melina Peterson about the hidden effort behind appearing effortless, human design, astrology, leaving a full-time job after navigating the corporate matrix, burnout, and more. Melina started her own creative marketing agency called Cornerlight Digital and recently made the challenging decision to pause it to take a sabbatical. We recorded this while she was in the midst of her career pause, so she shared what’s been coming up for her, including: exploring synchronicities, reconnecting with her inner child, and reevaluating her values post-pandemic. She still lives in NYC but recently visited LA, so we recorded this in person at my kitchen table while she was in town. Let us know if you listened. by LET IT OUT

101 min listen

Listen Now: Even the Royals: This is a preview of Even the Royals. You can listen to the full episode exclusively on Wondery+. by LET IT OUT

8 min listen

Perspective, Connection & Fame with Moby & Lindsay Hicks: This week I spoke with iconic musician Moby, who has recently ventured into podcasting with "MOBY POD" alongside sustainability expert Lindsay Hicks. I met them both for the first time when I went to Moby’s house to record this a few months ago. We talked for hours about everything from the sunk cost fallacy to attachment and aversion. He’s candid about getting sober and his experience with fame and how that has impacted his perspective. A thread that runs through this conversation is perspective, nostalgia, and storytelling as well as attachment, connection, and self-awareness. Let us know if you listened. by LET IT OUT

136 min listen

Karma Success with Liz Tran, Founder of Reset NYC: This week I talk with Liz Tran, author and founder of Reset NYC. We delve into the distinction between self-esteem and self-worth, and how developing self-worth fuels productivity, assertiveness, and resilience. How to be assertive without being rude, how family constellations helped her make some pivotal changes, how she works with her founders as an executive coach and how she comes up with the diagrams, figures, and visuals she uses to break down concepts. by LET IT OUT

88 min listen

Deep Listening (Part 2/2) with Amelia Hruby, PhD, Host of Off The Grid & Founder of Softer Sounds Studio: Writer and podcast producer Amelia Hruby is back for part 2. This time we focused on communication, deep listening, and podcasting, including how we both have used it to build connections and where she sees the future of the industry, how we've both seen it evolve, and much more. We cover live dynamic conversations vs. monologues, the strengths and limitations of podcasting as a medium, and more. Whether you're an aspiring podcaster, avid listener, or an occasional listener this episode explores the medium's potential and its ongoing evolution. by LET IT OUT

130 min listen

"my mind feels like a busy office building" with Athena Monet: This week I had a conversation with Athena Monet, a former architect--she left both her job and the city to move near the ocean. It’s there where she became an author of the book Leave With Love and started her practice as a shaman helping people through life transitions. She’s also a mother of five, so in this conversation we covered her perspective around productivity which includes both permission and integration. As well as how she got into the work she does now after the death of her mother, why transitions like divorces, breakups, and moves are so fertile for personal growth, beauty and body image, and much more. Let us know if you listen. by LET IT OUT

114 min listen

New Show: Yeah I f*cked that up: YEAH, I F*CKED THAT UP is a weekly interview podcast hosted by Billy Mann. Billy holds many titles - songwriter, entrepreneur, father, philanthropist, and now podcast host. Throughout his career, Billy has worked alongside many marquee names in entertainment. Their biggest achievements are what they are known for, but it’s their biggest failures that made them who they are. In each episode, Billy will discuss those failures with his guests - actors, novelists, musicians, CEOs - and draw from it a potent combination of laughter and inspiration from the stories they share. Key show guests include L.A. Reid, Kelly Rowland, Liz Gillies, Aly & AJ, and more. Listen wherever you get your podcasts! by LET IT OUT

12 min listen

Leaving Instagram with Amelia Hruby, PhD, Host of Off The Grid & Founder of Softer Sounds Studio: This week I spoke to writer and podcaster Amelia Hruby. She’s also the author of the book Fifty Feminist Mantras. In this conversation we primarily focus on one aspect of her work, the topic of her show: Off the Grid: Leaving Social Media Without Losing All Your Clients. We discuss her experience of leaving social media and the feelings that come with navigating Instagram both personally and professionally. She shares how the boundaries she set up for herself failed her and how the pros of leaving Instagram outweighed the cons. We unpack the nuances of the social capital of instagram, parasocial relationships on it, how our use of it evolved since we first got it, and the emotions tied up in using it socially. We spent so much time on this topic, that she will be back for part two where we will focus on podcasting, from what makes a good conversation to where she sees the future of the ind by LET IT OUT

85 min listen

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095 | Valerie Chaney on Real Girl, Relationships, Self-Love, & Cultural Influences on Girls

095 | Valerie Chaney on Real Girl, Relationships, Self-Love, & Cultural Influences on Girls

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