087 - Five Mistakes Polyamory N00bs Make | Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships Podcast

003 - Fundamentals: Relationship RADAR: Scrum 2.0: Follow our step-by-step process for creating safe, supportive, and productive communication in a monthly relationship check-in. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

55 min listen

006 - Fundamentals: Polyamory - The Most Common Questions: If you're a polyamory beginner, or if you need some help answering the questions your relatives are throwing at you, check it out! by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

56 min listen

002 - Fundamentals: The Triforce of Communication: Does your partner give you advice when you're looking for support and listening? Give this simple communication hack a try. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

53 min listen

004 - Fundamentals: The Basics of Boundaries: Boundaries are one of the most powerful yet misunderstood tools for having healthy relationships. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

60 min listen

081 - Multi-versary: The Sequel: The Multiamory podcast just turned two years old! Welcome to the terrible twos, baby! On this episode, we give a recap of all the things we've accomplished in the past two years, much of it with the inspiration of our wonderful listeners and fans. We also talk about the personal turning points we've each had in the past year, and how that has changed our lives and our relationships. As an added bonus, we try to make Jase cry. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

43 min listen

076 - Emotional Abuse and Polyamorous Relationships: It isn't easy or fun to talk about abuse. Abusive relationships come in many different iterations, and non-monogamous relationships are not exempt from these kinds of unhealthy dynamics. It's difficult for poly folk to speak publicly about abuse, as social stigma discourages many people from sharing any negative or darker aspects of poly relationships. In this episode, we explore how poly relationships in particular can fall victim to emotionally abusive behaviors, as well as how to recognize abusive patterns early on. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

37 min listen

095 - Consent with Sex Nerd Sandra: This week the Multiamory crew is very excited to intereview sex educator and podcast host for <a href="http://nerdist.com/">The Nerdist,</a> <a href="https://sexnerdsandra.com/">Sex Nerd Sandra</a>! Sandra takes us through the complex world of consent within relationships and sexual encounters. We discuss the education about consent, the ways that men and women both respect and violate consent differently, and also about how delicious FRIES are. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

50 min listen

084 - Zen and the Art of First Dates: If you are new to poly or just opening up your relationship, you may come to a realization that is exciting for some and terrifying for others: time to go on first dates! Going on first dates when you're poly presents a whole host of unique benefits and challenges. In this episode, we lay out all the pros and cons of poly dating, as well as our most Zen advice for making each first date enjoyable and fulfilling, even if you don't feel that the chemistry is there. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

42 min listen

078 - Gender, Bisexuality, and Fairness: Sexual orientation and gender identity are currently hot-button topics. The non-monogamous community attracts many people who are exploring alternative identities, but many of the challenges in dating, acceptance, and personal discovery remain the same. How do you operate with grace and confidence in a culture that isn't necessarily fair to everyone? by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

41 min listen

007 - Fundamentals: SHOP: How to Repair After a Fight: How do you deal with the aftermath of arguments, or subjects that are the cause of recurring disagreement? Go to the SHOP! by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

58 min listen

088 - Do You Feel Special?: Most of us enjoy feeling special, particularly to our romantic partners. In traditional relationships, one's specialness is closely linked to exclusivity. You are the person I choose to be monogamous with, therefore you are #1 special person in my life! But when you have multiple partners, this thinking gets turned on its head. This week we discuss how to maintain a sense of specialness in each of your relationships. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

38 min listen

075 - Primary Partners and Priority in Polyamory: Whew, that's a lotta P's! After many discussions inspired by our solo polyamory episode a few weeks ago, we decided to revisit the topics of hierarchy and priority. Some people insist that a primary/secondary hierarchy is the only that works for long-term polyamory. After all, if you want a house, kids, and any other number of long-term relationship milestones, most people choose to do that with a single, primary partner. However, we argue that it is possible to enjoy these things either with one partner or multiple partners, but without resorting to establishing a rigid hierarchy. We explore the idea of organic priority within your relationships, rather than prescribing hierarchal roles. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

36 min listen

079 - Polyamory and Spirituality: Ommmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm Welcome and namaste! This week we are talking about the spiritual side of alternative relationships. Polyamory has long been associated with the free love movement, which in turn has long been associated with the New Age spirituality of hippies. Though modern-day religions tend to condemn polyamorous relationships, there are a number of people in the poly community who closely tie their relationship structure to their spiritual practice. Is it possible to find enlightenment through polyamory? by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

43 min listen

077 - Life Changes and Polyamory: Ch-ch-ch-ch-changes! Change is an unavoidable part of life but that doesn't keep it from being scary sometimes. We have a lot of personal experience with big life changes like moving to new states or countries, deaths of family or friends, transitioning from monogamy to polyamory, and much more. In this episode we discuss some the things we've learned about dealing with change and how to make it as painless as possible. Often one of the most helpful things is knowing that you're not alone in struggling with change. Hopefully our stories and advice about finding community at the times when you need it most will help you with your current changes and also in preparation for the changes that will happen in the future. As the saying goes, "The only constant in life is change," so it's something that all of us can benefit from learning about. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

39 min listen

094 - Multiamory has Group Sex with Billy Procida: This week we welcome very special guest Billy Procida, host of <a href="http://manwhorepod.com/"><em>The Manwhore Podcast: A Sex Positive Quest for Love.</em></a>We dig into all kinds of topics in this one: sex positivity, sex party etiquette, being a single hetero man in the swinging scene, quick fixes for handling jealousy at a play party, and just a little bit about butt stuff. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

45 min listen

001 - Welcome to Multiamory by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

3 min listen

090 - Poly Processing Groups: Have you ever felt alone on your poly journey? Do your friends or family immediately jump to blaming polyamory for any relationship problems you may have? We've definitely all encountered this and have wished for a better support network. On this episode we talk with two people who created their own Poly Processing Group that has been hugely transformational in the way it helps them and others (including Jase!) get through those tough patches and emotional challenges. In addition to discussing the philosophy behind their group we also talk about ways you can start your own processing group even if you only have a few people to join it. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

42 min listen

009 - Fundamentals: Attachment Theory And Polyamory: Jessica Fern joins us to talk about attachment, trauma, and polyamory, as well as helpful advice for more secure attachments. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

53 min listen

086 - Sustainable Relationships: Sustainability means making decisions that address the needs of the present without compromising the needs of the future. The term is most often applied to environmental policy, but how does the concept of sustainability apply to relationships? Are poly relationships more sustainable than monogamous ones? by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

39 min listen

005 - Fundamentals: Rules vs. Agreements Ft. Boundaries: We're exploring the differences between rules and agreements and how to make healthy decisions regarding them. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

66 min listen

082 - Multiple Attachment Styles for Multiple Partners: This week we are discussing the theory of attachment in adults. That may sound daunting, but it's actually quite simple. Your individual attachment style is how you react when a particular relationship experiences separation, threat, or pressure. Some people react by becoming clingy and impulsive, and others react by pushing the other person away. In this episode we discuss the four main categories of attachment style, and how these may manifest differently in multiple relationships. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

34 min listen

083 - The Triforce of Communication: It's dangerous to go alone...take this! It's the Triforce of Communication! What is that, you ask? The Triforce of Communication, other than being a nerdy title, are the three primary goals of communication in any given conversation or interaction with a partner. Communication breakdowns often occur when you and your partner have mismatched goals. If your partner thinks you are seeking support or acknowledgment when you are actually seeking problem-solving advice, disappointment and frustration can show up faster than you know it. In this episode, we talk about these three different goals, and how you can use the knowledge of these goals to make your communication more effective. Kathy Labriola's original video on communication goals can be found here: <a href="https://youtu.be/CzA5UBDaQcc">https://youtu.be/CzA5UBDaQcc</a> by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

42 min listen

093 - Being Secondary While Putting Yourself First: At Multiamory, we generally discourage people from building their relationships on a basis of strict, primary-secondary hierarchy. However, primary-secondary relationships are still very common in the polyamorous community. All three of us have engaged in these kind of relationships at one point or another, for better or worse. In this episode, we talk about the experience of being a secondary partner, and we give our advice to secondaries for crafting relationships that will keep them safe, happy, and sane. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

36 min listen

080 - Multiple Love Languages, Multiple Lovers: Your love language is the way in which you express love and prefer to receive love from your partners. Each person has a unique combination of love languages, some stronger than others. You may not realize it, but you and your partner may be speaking different love languages, which can lead to confusion and frustration. If you can determine your love language, as well as that of your partner(s), it can open up a whole new world of effortless communication and intimacy. In this episode, we cover the 5 most common love languages, as well as discuss how knowing about love languages can change your approach to multiple partners. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

36 min listen

085 - Meeting Your Metamours: Having a positive relationship with your metamours can dramatically improve the quality of your relationship landscape. In this episode we cover the who, what, where, when, why, and how of meeting your metamours and setting yourself up for the best possible outcomes. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

36 min listen

008 - Fundamentals: Demon Dance Battles: We're talking about fight choreography, or the patterns we fall into when arguing with partners, and how to break out of them. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

60 min listen

091 - The Polyamorous Man: Masculinity and Non-Monogamy: Only 1/3 of the Multiamory crew identifies as male, but social expectations of masculinity have had an influence on all of us. This week we're digging in to the fundamentals of masculinity. What does it mean to "be a man"? What are the classic hallmarks of masculinity, and how are those expectations both hurting and helping us? What's more, we discuss how traditional notions of masculinity sometimes clash with the ideals of polyamory. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

43 min listen

092 - Should You Come Out of the Closet?: Coming out to partners, family, friends, or co-workers about being polyamorous is an important decision that could potentially change your life and your relationships, for better or worse. In this episode, we run you through the most important risks and benefits to consider before deciding to come out to someone important. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

48 min listen

087 - Five Mistakes Poly N00bs Make: For a long time there haven't been many public role models to demonstrate healthy, high-functioning polyamory, in contrast to the many demonstrations of monogamy we see every day on TV, movies, and other corners of the media. It's easy to make mistakes when first venturing down the path of non-monogamy. This week, we take you through five common mistakes made by people first opening up a closed relationship or dabbling in polyamory. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

33 min listen

089 - Make Poly Great Again: This week, the Multiamory crew is pissed off. The current political climate has inspired us to vent about a number of topical things that get under our skin: toxic masculinity, sexual harassment, the alt right, and more. In particular, we examine how the polyamorous community is not immune to these things, as well as addressing what steps everyone can take to turn things around. by Multiamory: Rethinking Modern Relationships

44 min listen

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087 - Five Mistakes Polyamory N00bs Make

087 - Five Mistakes Polyamory N00bs Make

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