– I can’t even imagine picking up a drink to solve something anymore.  It doesn’t even cross my mind.   Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018.   She is 42 and lives in New Jersey.  This is her story of living alcohol-free (AF).   Today’s sponsor is Better Help. Visit betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR and join the over 500,000 people talking charge of their mental health with the help of an experienced professional. Recovery Elevator listeners get 10% off your first month at betterhelp.com/ELEVATOR.    Finding Your Better You – Odette’s weekly message   Odette has been thinking about the process of change.  When she is having a down day, she wonders, am I doing recovery right?  Am I making progress?  Is the work worth it?  It’s muddy and contradictory, particularly with our labeling minds.     We think bad days mean we are doing something wrong, and negative emotions are guides in the wrong direction.   On hard days, Odette uses more tools, which probably means she is making more progress.   Holly Whittaker posted on her Instagram page a sketch that highlights the Hourglass of Change.  It shows there is a range of emotions from start to goal.  Odette thinks we need to learn to appreciate the hourglass of change, label-less, and accept more.  Negative emotions have a place in our chapter of change.  When Odette looks for peace instead of euphoria and moves gently with her feelings, she remembers compassion is critical.  We need to have compassion for ourselves and others.    Let us remember that we are all on the same path, wanting to connect with others and feel like we belong.  If sobriety is kicking you in the butt right now, don’t be so hard on yourself. Take it as a sign of progress.  You are on the right track.  You are right where you are supposed to be.   [7:30] Odette introduces Kate   Kate took her last drink on August 11, 2018.   She is 42, lives in New Jersey, and works for Recovery Elevator.      Kate said she was born and raised in New Jersey.   She, her husband Jay, and their cats keep life interesting.  Kate works in the art world.   She is crafty and knits, sews, and cross stitches.  She loves to exercise and get outside.   [8:54] Give listeners some background on your history with drinking   Kate said she took her first drink at 14.  She was severely inebriated and blacked out.  The only other time she drank in high school, she blacked out.  Kate went to college in Pennsylvania, and drinking was part of the culture.  She was in a sorority, and everyone drank on the weekends.  Her drinking seemed normal and what everyone was doing.   After college, she started to notice some demons.   Kate recalled in early childhood being asked to sit on the choir director’s lap at church and kiss him.  She was taught to respect her elders.  Looking back, she realizes her life then took an awkward turn.  She developed an eating disorder.  When she started drinking, the eating disorder went away.  In college, she became the ultimate party girl.  She worked in galleries and auction houses, and drinking was encouraged.    She moved to the UK in 2007 and was there for four years.  She contrasted the drinking culture in the UK versus New York.  Kate knew she had found her people.  Her drinking ramped up.  After her divorce, she would drink to obliteration with vodka.  She learned geographic changes don’t work.   [12:51] Odette asked what was going on in her brain about her drinking.   Kate said she knew from her first drink that she shouldn’t drink.  Alcoholism runs in her family. Her father has five years of sobriety.  Every day was a struggle to continue keeping up appearances and be a high-functioning professional while drinking copious amounts of alcohol at night.    14:10 Did you talk to anyone about your eating disorder, drinking, or what happened during your childhood?   Kate said she was raised in a family where appearance meant everything. It went to the extreme that she and her siblings were wearing matching outfits for every