Podcast #433
How To Be Your Own  Validation Voice
 










In this episode of The Confidence Podcast we're talking about: Today we'll be coaching on…



Why what "they" think doesn't matter and how to stop depending on outside affirmationResisting fear and rewiring the critical voice default you've programmed into yourself 10 Ways to practice your voice of self-validation


 
REVIEW OF THE WEEK:
 


Inspirational by liqerish For the lonest time I wanted to write a review. I want to talk about what you've done for my daughters life. Because you have inspired her and pushed her to move forward with your voice. This review is not so much about me but it is about the positive impact you've had on my family. I appreciate the spiritual take on this podcast and how you share with us about God, and encouraging us not to give up and follow our dreams. Thank you for encouraging my daughter. Giving her strength to go out in the world and follow her dreams. You've changed my life too. By watching my daughter grow, it's given me strength to let go of hard things. I've always felt I wanted to be a good role model as a mother and after hearing what you've gone through it's empowered me to improve on myself. Thank you. 



 
OUTSIDE AFFIRMATION WEARS OFF
 


Real confidence is having an identity separate from outside affirmation.  Words of affirmation are like little jewels. When I get a compliment, or unexpected word of encouragement from someone, it feels like I'm rich inside. I thrive on outside affirmation, and always have. I'm a natural coachable athlete, teacher's pet, people pleaser, you name it, if it involved making people I admired proud, I was into it.  The problem is that when all on my confidence was built on what others said about me, my confidence became about what I did, and people's opinions -instead of- being about who I am and my own opinion of myself.  Real confidence is built from the inside out, not the outside in.  If you are over attached to people-pleasing or getting your confidence from others instead of from within yourself, then it's time to get coaching. Check out my coaching page at www.trishblackwell.com/coaching to get on my coaching waiting list, or hop right into the College of Confidence at www.collegeofconfidence.com to get started with group coaching today.


 
RESISTING FEAR AND REPROGRAMMING THE CRITICAL VOICE DEFAULT



Decide if your life will be grounded on fear or on faith.Critical thoughts are fear based.



What if I'm not good enough?What if no one really likes me?What if this passion project doesn't make a difference?What if I'll always be alone?What if I keep breaking my promises to myself?



No life that is amazing is built on fear. Resist fear by:



Declaring war against itBeing like Finn - always be looking for that squirrelDo one thing every day that scares you - show yourself that you're the boss of your fearBuild faith around you: make it your goal today to make someone else's day better. Dare to dream about positive what if's



Make room only for belief in your life. Don't entertain or party with fear.Reprogram the critical voice by:



Paying attention to your thought workTaking ownership of your responsibility to manage your thoughts (re: #432)Be annoyingly positive and encouraging in responsePractice patience - you're in this for the long haul. A reset takes time, and tedium. 


 
SPONSORSHIP NOTE: BETTERHELP



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