Everyone grieves in their own way and according to their own timeframe, the accepted wisdom tells us. But those in mourning rarely find comfort in knowing this and those looking to support someone in mourning can do little with this advice, leaving them with a sense of helplessness. As a mental health professional and someone who has dealt with her own share of personal grief, Candace R. M. Gorham understands well the quest for relief. The truth of the matter, she says, is there is no one way to grieve, but there are things that are important to pay attention to while mourning. While much of the advice she shares is universal, she pays particular attention to the struggle those who do not believe in a god or afterlife face with the loss of a loved one—and offers practical, life-affirming steps for them to remember and heal.
Candace R. M. Gorham MA, LPCS is a licensed professional mental health counselor. She is a former ordained minister turned atheist-humanist activist, researcher, and writer on issues related to race and religion. She is a member of the Black Humanist Alliance advisory board, The Secular Therapist Project, and The Clergy Project. Candace is also the author of "The Ebony Exodus Project: Why Some Black Women Are Walking Out on Religion—and Others Should Too."
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