The self is the experience of living, the hereness in the thereness, the feeling of what happens. It is the present after the past and the present in the face of the future. Self is our experience of being the center of time and space.  Self is the experience of making choices, creating our own lives and the myriad of emotions that emerge as we interact with the world around and in us. Identity is composed of all the words and ideas by which our selves are defined and recognized. In my story many animals have selves but only human beings have identities. The politics of our human relationships shapes much of our identity. In a democractic relationships we define ourselves both as individuals and as members of various groups. We experience ourselves as singularities as well as members of families, religions, communities, nations and as members of various tribes. In authoritarian relationships we are forbidden to be singularities but must first define ourselves as members of our families, religions, nationalities, and the various tribes into which we are born. In anarchies we are singularities without emebededeness in family, religion, nationalities or tribe. My story will explore the difference in the experience of self when we are loved and respected as an individual, when we must be forever obedient to our reference groups and when we are alone and isolated as individuals.