The Athletic's Adam Hurrey, Charlie Eccleshare and Michael Cox use their vivid footballing imaginations to put together a team of industry-standard goalscorers, from goalkeepers venturing up for last-minute corners to inverted wingers cutting inside to do the inevitable.
Among the big decisions to be made in this 4-3-3 lineup are: Why are left-backs more spectacular than right-backs? Just what do managers really mean when they challenge a midfielder to "add goals to his game"? When does a "curler" become a "pearler"? And what constitutes a classic No 9's goal in the year 2022?
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