Tatemae, Honne and the Gaijin Boss   Japanese people are famous for having learnt over many centuries how to get along with others.  High density living in the modern era and village communal agricultural activities in the past, have both seeded probably the best example of how to have a complex, but low friction society.  Arguments, fights, road rage do occur but compared to anywhere else with such a large population pressure cooker, Japan doesn't even rate as a contender for worst practice.  The concepts of tatemae or proffered reality and honne or actual reality, are a big part of creating that harmonious environment.     Of course, as foreigners we initially struggle with this separation of the real world and the imagined world.  It can seem that Japanese people can be two faced - saying one thing but doing another.  Being the bearer of bad news rarely becomes an issue in Japan, because no one ever delivers it.  No shooting the messenger here because people have learnt to be extremely circumspect about how much they tell others and how they tell it.  The language is an excellent tool for this, because it is so excellent for vagary.   Western society does the same thing, but we tend to notice it more here.  At home, if your father-in-law has been on a "see-food-diet" (see food and eat it) but asks if you think he has lost weight, you are likely to plunge right into a tatemae answer that will tell him what he wants to hear. No unvarnished truth that he is obese and there is no difference from the last time you saw him, which would be the honne.  So we do it in our cultures as well, but Japan has institutionalized it.   Being indirect, vague, circuitous are all admirable traits for Japanese communicators. Rude, unrepentant, bombastic Westerners, card carrying members of the "tell it like it is" society, have trouble with what they see as duplicitous behavior.  What do you do when people won't tell you the truth?  How can you lead an organization when you don't know what is going on and when bad news only eeks its way out, when all efforts to hide it have failed?  How can people be held accountable when you can't count on them to adhere to the internal rules around transparency.   It gets worse of course when you are the boss.  Any boss, in almost any culture, will be getting served up some form of tatemae, simply because they are the boss.  People want to tell you what want to hear, as a means of sucking up to you for some possible advantage or to avoid your wrath if it all goes the wrong way.  There are plenty of killed messengers in the Western world and we have all learnt that that role is one to avoid whenever possible.  Japan just takes the mastery level up a couple of notches.     As the boss, how do we get to the bottom of what is going on, if we can't rely on those who work for us to speak up.  We have a few options available to us.  Find a confidant, who is plugged into what is really going on who can tell you the truth.  Be careful of the "gaijin handler". This is the English speaking Japanese staff member who uses their English communication facility to get close to power and to be a double agent.  They may look like they are on your side, but actually they know you won't be around forever and they have to build powerful patrons from within to get that all important leg up to the top.  They are there to feed you what others want you to know, make sure you don’t find out too much and keep an eye on you. It is hard to spot the difference between a confidant and a “handler”, but just be careful and keep your eyes open.    A better method is to be a great boss Be the boss people can trust and will not feel fear, whenever they have to talk truth to power.  You might imagine that is you already.  Wasn't it you who erupted when the target achievement was poor or the deadline was missed or someone did something dumb?  Everyone is watching the boss like a hawk.  How does the boss react to bad news?  What happens when the pr