No one must know of or lay eyes upon the evil ichor my body produces whence thou givest me pleasure.  Topics include hitting your partner's nudes with an ol' thumbs up, verbiage for when you have to poop, my celebrity boyfriend's top secret jizz, a not-so-tall tale, accepting that you're someone's flavour, the connotations of catching feelings, simple and easy steps on how to seduce your wife.