[E191] Myths Pt. 1: Connected Parenting Means No Rules, Limits, or Structure

[E69] The Flight Stress Response: "I'm Out and You Can't Stop Me!": The Stress Responses - you know - Fight, Flight and Freeze...well, you may be surprised to learn that there are actually 4 stress responses ("Fawn" is the fourth - don't worry, we'll cover it in great detail in a few weeks). We'll look at how you can support both yourself and those you love IN those responses! Today, we dive into the "Flight" Response. Those who experience a flight stress response have learned to avoid conflict to protect themselves. They may physically run away, attempt to change the subject, deflect with humor, or lie. The flight stress response can also be associated with over-achieving or obsessive compulsive tendencies. This instinctive reaction makes people want to flee to escape danger (real or perceived). The flight response is a helpful automatic reaction for self preservation and fleeing harm. How do we support ourselves or our people when they're in flight mode? You'll have to listen in by Empowered to Connect Podcast

54 min listen

[E64] Throwback Episode: Self-Awareness is the Key to Empowered Families [E27 Replay]: We spend a lot of time on this show talking about examining self - looking at adult attachment styles, considering how to offer ourselves as co-regulators to our children, even talking about self-compassion as the true and better version of self care. Why, then, do we now look at self awareness!? We're glad you asked! Earlier this year, we asked Larissa Gregory to come join us to explain. Larissa is the head of LG Educational Consulting and works with individuals, teachers, administrations and families helping create safe, empowered spaces for children and families. After years in academic leadership, she joined us to talk about why she believes that Authentic Self Awareness is the Key to Empowered Families. Larissa gave several concrete, practical tools for us to walk away with to help restore relationship after conflict, to help restore our own mental spaces as self doubt and stress invade and more by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E65] Throwback Episode: How to Change Social Systems with Daren Jones [E54 Replay]: Happy New Year! We're so excited to bring you one of our favorite episodes of 2021 with one of our favorite humans on earth, Daren Jones! Daren works with the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development (KPICD) at TCU and is passionate about seeing the systems that are INTENDED to keep our children safe - actually do so. For YEARS now, he's worked in, on and around systems that care for/protect society's most vulnerable children and has been a pivotal part of TCU's work helping bring trauma informed, compassionate, brain-science based practices into use in these systems. Hear Daren talk about everything from working in group homes to seeing infamous lockup-first family court judges become trauma-informed allies on today's episode! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

68 min listen

[E68] The Fight Stress Response: “I Won't - And You Can't Make Me!": The Stress Responses - chances are, you've heard of them - Fight, Flight and Freeze...well, you may be surprised to learn that there are actually 4 stress responses ("Fawn" is the fourth - don't worry, we'll cover it in great detail in a few weeks) and we are taking the next several weeks to do deep dives into each of them! We'll look at how you can support both yourself and those you love IN those responses! Today, we dive into the "Fight" Response. Those who identify with a fight stress response have learned to step up to the plate to protect themselves. This instinctive reaction often sends them into an aggressive, sometimes attack mode to fend off the danger they face - real or perceived. What's the best way to support someone with a fight response? You'll have to listen in to find out! JD, Becca and Tona walk through everything from what a stress response is to how to support those you love in the middle of those by Empowered to Connect Podcast

73 min listen

[E80] Changing Systems: The Fight Against Human Trafficking with Coasy Hale: Our guest today works with an incredible organization leading the charge to end human trafficking and care for survivors of it. Coasy Hale is the Director of Survivor Services at Restore Corps - a non-profit organization in Memphis, TN doing everything from working to introduce new legislation to therapeutically receiving survivors into care to begin the road to recovery. We talked with Coasy about how Restore Corps has transformed their care for survivors as they've learned about trauma and the brain and how that knowledge has also affected how their team cares for each other. DO - NOT - MISS this episode, you're going to love hearing from Coasy! We are also THRILLED to announce our first ETC Podcast advertising partnership! The team at Ryan & Rose have been big supporters of our work at Empowered to Connect for years. They make beautiful products for everyone in the family including pacifiers, pacifier clips by Empowered to Connect Podcast

41 min listen

[E67] Special MLK Day Throwback Episode: How We Got Here with Dr. Charles McKinney [E2 Replay]: Today, in honor of Dr. Martin Luther King Jr Day, we felt it would be appropriate to bring back one of our favorite episodes, our episode with Dr. Charles McKinney from Season One. How did we get here? College Professor, Author and Civil Rights Historian Dr. Charles McKinney joins us to discuss the history of the civil rights struggle in America, being a black parent in 2020 and advice for transracial adoptive parents with their children of color. A word to our majority culture (white) listeners: as many have noted over the past few years, there is a deep need for listening and learning about the plight of our black and brown brothers and sisters. This conversation with Dr. McKinney is not the end all be all - rather a starting point for many of us as we journey together to bring healing and peace to our families, our communities and the systems that govern them. To connect further with our by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E70] The Freeze Response: I'm Out and You Can't Thaw Me!: I'm OUT and you can't thaw me - the Freeze Response is one of the toughest to handle as a parent, friend or caregiver. It can disguise itself in lots of ways, but don't worry, we're here to help! Expressive Arts Therapist Jill Stockberger and ETC Staffer Becca McKay join us to discuss how we can support ourselves and those we love when they freeze by Empowered to Connect Podcast

32 min listen

[E84] Brain-Body Parenting with Mona Delahooke!: Long time friend of the program Mona Delahooke is a Pediatric Psychologist and the author of her NEW book Brain-Body Parenting as well as the groundbreaking Beyond Behaviors and several other books. If you've ever read Beyond Behaviors, you know how brilliant she is! Mona joins us today to talk about the Brain - Body - Behavior connection and why it is absolutely essential for parents and caregivers to understand. Struggling with perplexing behavior in your home? This may be the episode you've been waiting for. Wanna learn more from Mona? Buy her book Beyond Behaviors here, sign up for the Beyond Behaviors course Mona teaches here or head on over to her website to learn more about her there! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

43 min listen

[E73] Breaking Cycles and Raising Babies with Lisa Jean-Francois!: We step back from our earlier series today for a conversation with a young mom we've admired from a distance for a while now! Lisa Jean-Francois, better known to 61,000+ Instagram followers as @lisaalamode joins us today to tell the story of her journey from experiencing trauma as a child to now parenting her kids based on knowledge of connection and attachment, something she often refers to as "gentle parenting" or "conscious parenting." Lisa is fascinating and has an incredible story to tell - you're going to love getting to know her! A Heads Up: Lisa's story contains some honest and real moments of abuse battling suicidal thoughts, so this is an episode to use discretion on before turning it on with kids around. To learn more about all that Lisa's got going on check out her website - to follow her on Instagram, you can do that here! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Ins by Empowered to Connect Podcast

49 min listen

[E71] The Fawn Response: I Will and You Can't Stop Me!: The Fawn Response! The least known of all the stress responses! We relied on the work of Pete Walker from his incredible book: PTSD: From Surviving to Thriving as we crafted this episode. Stela Sinanaj, Clinical Therapist from the Memphis Family Connection Center and Becca McKay, Program Director of the ETC Institute join us to explain the ins and outs of the fawn response as well as how to better support the loved ones in your life who identify with this stress response! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

38 min listen

[E66] Throwback Episode: Therapy Redeemed with Cam Lee Small [E55 Replay]: One of the most highly commented on episodes of the year featured a guest we admire greatly. That person is therapist, speaker, teacher, advocate and so much more - Cam Lee Small. We've long admired his work on social media (@TherapyRedeemed on Instagram) and after meeting him for this conversation our respect and admiration of him has skyrocketed. Cam takes us into the world of mental health and adoptees and how his work both counseling and advocating for adoptees has shone light on his own story. You won't want to miss his candor and insight! You can learn more about Cam's work on his website, Instagram or Facebook page! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

36 min listen

[E76] Attachment: A Two Way Street in Relationships: Mo & Tona Ottinger join JD to talk about the huge shock we all felt as new parents learning that attachment is a two way street, not a finite 'start and finish' interaction. Why do our own histories and patterns of attachment matter in parenting children? How does that affect our kids and their attachment patterns and styles and what if it's too late to form a strong attachment with my child?? (Spoiler: it's never too late) Hear Mo and Tona share powerful stories from their early parenting journey, marriage and relationships in this episode of the ETC Podcast! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

40 min listen

[E87] Connecting Practice: Be Curious!: Today we begin walking through all of the connecting practices from our new parenting curriculum called Cultivate Connection! We begin with one of the most foundational practices in this form of parenting: Being Curious. SO often we jump immediately to assigning blame or emotionally reacting to situations or behaviors we encounter as parents...when sometimes what's needed is to put on the detective hat first. What could be behind this behavior? Have we eaten enough today? Has this child been couped up all day without an outlet to move their bodies? Could this be a product of their history - or mine??All questions that are imperative to begin asking if we are going to parent our children through the lens of connection and attachment. Dr. Rachel Peterman and Becca McKay join us to walk through just how to begin changing our courses of action in today's episode! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on by Empowered to Connect Podcast

43 min listen

[E75] Why Attachment is So Important with Dr. Jamie DeLuna: We're beginning a brand new series on building attachment and as we prepared for the series with our team we just couldn't think of a better way to lay the foundation of understanding than to throw it back to one of our favorite episodes with Dr. Jamie DeLuna from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development (KPICD) at TCU. In today's episode, one of the best researchers in her field, Dr. Jamie DeLuna from the Karyn Purvis Institute of Child Development, explains why understanding your own attachment style may be the most important thing you can do for your parenting. We talk about the neuroscience behind attachment, the different adult attachment styles, how they form and how you can 'earn' secure attachment, no matter what your childhood was like. To check out the book Jamie recommended ('How We Love') and more resources like it, you can click here. To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and fo by Empowered to Connect Podcast

48 min listen

[E72] Let's Talk About Lying with Robyn Gobbel: Let's talk about lying. It's time. Every time we mention lying there are exponentially more shares of content, comments, questions, dm's - all of it - so it's time to talk about it! And who better for us to talk about it with than our good friend Robyn Gobbel?? Robyn joins us to talk about ALL OF IT - why do our kids (and you and I, let's be honest) lie, how do we deal with it, what are we missing here and how can we restore connection after a break in trust due to lying? We cover all of it and more in this week's episode of the Empowered to Connect Podcast! To learn more about Empowered to Connect, check out our website and follow us on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

52 min listen

[E83] Seeing the Need Behind the Behavior with Mo and Tona Ottinger: Today, we go back to an episode from Season 1 of the show that can be particularly helpful in the throes of Spring parenting. Lets face it…sometimes our kids' behavior is perplexing. We have no idea why they are doing what they are doing. We have no idea how to make them stop and we can walk away feeling confused, defeated and even like a failure. We have behavioral expectations and if we're not careful we can allow our children's behavior to determine whether we see ourselves as a good parent or not. We can measure our success by their behavior… Why do we do that? How do we get to the root of what's ACTUALLY happening? Glad you asked - tune in today to hear how we look to see the needs being expressed behind the behavior and meet those needs to build trust and attachment. In this episode we reference several fantastic books (you should buy them all immediately): The Whole Brain Child, and Beyond Behaviors To learn by Empowered to Connect Podcast

37 min listen

How Knowing About Attachment Styles Changed Our Lives: Our latest animated video helping explain attachment cycles is live on YouTube and it got us thinking about something. For all of us here at ETC, learning about attachment theory and the attachment styles was a game changer. We all know that when it comes to parenting, there's no miracle button that makes everything easy - there are, however, pieces of information that make a radical difference in how we parent. This is one of those topics. Becca McKay, Tona Ottinger and JD Wilson discuss the personal and parenting implications for their own lives once they began learning about the attachment cycle and attachment styles. To hear our episode on Attachment with Dr. Jamie DeLuna, listen here, To hear our episode on Attachment and Attachment Styles with Dr. Casey Call, listen here and as always, to check us out on YouTube, head to our channel! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

39 min listen

[E102] We're All Human: Understanding Generational Trauma: We all hear stories growing up of who we're like: 'oh, you've got your grandfather's charm', 'you're tall just like your mom', etc. We tend to understand those sorts of generational traits being passed down, but for some reason, the idea of generational trauma has escaped the public consciousness until recently. We wanted to know more about generational trauma and how to mindfully begin to break those cycles, so we brought friend of the program Ms. Jacque Rowe Fields back in! Jacque talks with JD and Becca about what generational trauma is, how to understand it and how to begin healing from it on today's episode of the ETC Podcast! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

45 min listen

[E77] Throwback Episode: Repairing What We've Ruptured with Carissa Woodwyk [E30 Replay]: We've all done it. We've lost our temper, checked out, popped off, said something we shouldn't have or didn't say something we should have in a moment of weakness. If you're like us, you've probably already had a moment (or several) moments like this today - it's ok. Take a deep breath and let Marriage and Family Therapist Carissa Woodwyk and ETC's Tona Ottinger walk you through how to repair when you've ruptured something with yourself, your partner or a kiddo. Special heads up - be sure to listen all the way to the end to hear Carissa's perspective on this as an adoptee when she shares an intimate moment of self discovery related to her own story - you don't want to miss it. To learn more about Carissa and her work, be sure to check out her first appearance on the show here or follow her on Instagram or Facebook! To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Faceboo by Empowered to Connect Podcast

71 min listen

[E78] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Education with Becca McKay: How do educational systems change? How can educators, administrators and parents/caregivers partner together to help meet the unique needs of every child in school? We've asked Becca McKay, long time school social worker and Dean to come help us begin to unpack some big picture and practical ways to start the trauma informed journey in your school. Tune in to hear some practical advice for anyone working in education and stay tuned in as we turn the conversation toward parents and caregivers to share how they can effectively advocate for their children's needs to be met in appropriate and compassionate ways To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

38 min listen

[E81] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Youth Outreach with Philip Walkley and Ally Velderman: One of the toughest things to do in the midst of running a youth outreach program is to change course - especially when it means re-training everyone involved. Despite the intense level of difficulty, however, Philip Walkley and Ally Velderman of Service Over Self in Memphis, TN knew they needed to make a change. They weren't equipped to walk with the kids they were working with through life. Hear how they made the jump to a trauma informed approach, the transformation that happened and the changes on staff on today's episode! Also don't forget to check out our friends Ryan & Rose! The team at Ryan & Rose have been big supporters of our work at Empowered to Connect for years. They make beautiful products for everyone in the family including pacifiers, pacifier clips, bottle holders, bags, journals and so much more and they've got an exclusive discount JUST FOR LISTENERS OF THE SHOW! Use code by Empowered to Connect Podcast

32 min listen

[E74] Brain-Body Parenting with Mona Delahooke!: In case you've missed the exciting news, one of our favorite authors on planet Earth, Mona Delahooke, has a new book that comes out NEXT WEEK (March 15th, 2022)! Mona joined us to tell us all about the new book and walk us through what she calls the 'bottom-up' approach to understanding the nervous system-brain connection. We talk about behaviors as indicators of needs being expressed and how when we (along with our kids) understand these dynamics, we can help them to thrive in life. Mona is one of the most brilliant, engaging and compassionate voices in the parenting world and you will LOVE listening to her talk about this stuff. To preorder 'Brain-Body Parenting' click here - to check out all of the other incredible work she's done, check out her website here! You can learn more about ETC by checking out empoweredtoconnect.org, following @empoweredtoconnect on Instagram or liking our page on Facebook! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

47 min listen

[E89] Connecting Practice: Meet Sensory, Emotional and Physical Needs: Has it ever felt to you like you just couldn't figure out what your kid needs in a moment? If this is you, today is your episode. We gathered some brilliant therapeutic minds to ask them what we need to know about meeting our child's physical, emotional and sensory processing needs! Hear from Speech Pathologist Annie Cornell, Occupational Therapist Luz Wolfe and Clinical Therapist Stela Sinanaj why this is so important and how to meet these needs in our kids (and just as importantly - ourselves). To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

53 min listen

[E82] Trauma Informed Parenting with Mo and Tona Ottinger: We've talked for weeks now on the show about how Trauma Informed Care and a Trauma Informed Approach is changing systems and societies across the globe. Today, we return to where it all started for us - Trauma Informed Parenting. We asked Mo and Tona Ottinger to share their story of moving from traditional parenting to a Trauma Informed Approach and what they shared will blow you away. Spoiler alert: it changed everything. To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

46 min listen

[E100] We're All Human: Compassion Fatigue and Blocked Care: Our guests today have been caring for parents for years through their organization called "The Adoption Connection". Lisa Qualls and Melissa Corkum together represent all sides of the adoption triad and join us today to talk about what happens when our compassion runs low. Lisa, Melissa, Tona and JD talk about compassion fatigue, blocked care and share their own experiences in both. Lisa and Melissa have a ton of amazing resources on their website that you should check out here. You can also follow them on social media @onethankfulmom and @melissacorkum_ and you can follow the adoption connection @postadoptionresources. Listen to their podcast, The Adoption Connection, here. To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

52 min listen

Sheila Wise Rowe on Healing Racial Trauma: Sheila Wise Rowe is a brilliant author, speaker, thinker and guest on today's episode! She is the author of two incredible books: Healing Racial Trauma: The Road to Resilience and Young, Gifted and Black, a Journey of Lament and Celebration (both incredible books that you should add to your library right now). Sheila joins us to define racial trauma and speaks to how we need to understand racial trauma in our own history as parents before we can lead our children to healing. We cover a LOT in this episode and whether it's talking about her own experience being part of bussing integration efforts in Boston or giving advice to transracial adoptive families, you won't want to miss what Sheila brings to the episode today! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

47 min listen

[E79] Changing Systems: Trauma Informed Children's Ministry with Paula Powell: We continue our conversation about trauma informed systems today with a look at children's ministry. Mo Ottinger and Paula Powell served together on staff at a church for years and we asked them to tell the story of transforming the child care system at their church into a trauma informed environment where every child could feel safe. You won't want to miss this episode - listen for practical applications for those working in the children's ministry field and encouragement for those who may feel the challenge is too daunting to begin! To learn more about ETC, check out empoweredtoconnect.org and follow us on Facebook, Instagram and YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

36 min listen

Then and Now - A Decade Long Conversation about Adoption with Carissa Woodwyk: We're joined today by one of our favorite guests of all time - Carissa Woodwyk is a licensed professional therapist, mom, adoptee advocate and adult adoptee herself (among lots of other things). 10 years ago Carissa took the stage at the Created for Care Conference and sparked a complex conversation about the many nuanced sides of the adoption conversation. Carissa speaks often of the "both and" within adoption and unpacks that thought and so many more with us today. To learn more about Empowered to Connect, visit us on our website, find us on Facebook, follow us on Instagram or check out all of our podcast episodes and video resources on YouTube! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

45 min listen

[E94] Connecting Practice: Respond Thoughtfully: Today's connecting practice will make you think - or at least that's our goal. So often we respond or react to situations in our home without filtering the situation to figure out what's REALLY going on. Dr. Rachel Peterman, Clinical Therapist and Program Manager of Safe and Secure Tennessee, joins Becca McKay and JD to discuss the importance of slowing down and thoughtfully responding to situations and the massive positive implications of doing so! To learn more about ETC, follow our Youtube Channel, like us on Facebook or follow us on Instagram! by Empowered to Connect Podcast

54 min listen

[E85] The Link Between Eating Disorders, Body Image and Trauma with Whitney Trotter: Did you know that between 62%-92% of people with eating disorders have experienced trauma in their past? The research is alarming and for those of us with kids who may have experienced some kind of food insecurity or have what we might see as 'out of the ordinary' food habits, it can be paralyzing. That's why we wanted to have our friend Whitney Trotter on the show. Whitney is a registered nurse, mother and advocate and is a part of the BIPOC (Black, Indigenous and People of Color) Eating Disorders conference happening July 20-22 virtually. You can learn more about the conference and register here Whitney teaches us about eating disorders, their origins in trauma, body image issues and what to watch for in our kids when it comes to issues of food. We talk about how marginalized people groups are at higher risk for disordered eating and how transracial adoptive parents can be better prepared and inform by Empowered to Connect Podcast

26 min listen

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[E191] Myths Pt. 1: Connected Parenting Means No Rules, Limits, or Structure

[E191] Myths Pt. 1: Connected Parenting Means No Rules, Limits, or Structure

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