Welcome back to RL Radio! We are starting this fifth season with a two part series on what it looks like when he takes the blame versus what it looks like for him to take ownership. In this first episode, we break down what it looks like to take the blame. Specifically this can look like taking the role of the victim (think: passive and not even checking the box) or taking the role of the martyr (think: attacking and checks the box but with the wrong heart attitude).   What this does to her is exactly what it’s doing to him. With the victim role - he becomes MORE powerless, MORE hopeless and it does the exact same thing to her when he plays this role. Likewise, with the martyr role - he becomes more isolated, feels even more punished - and the same applies to her - she feels shut down and punished for even making a request. There is a better way - and it’s called ownership.  Ownership aides in making the moment healing versus making the moment another painful drop in the bucket.  And if, for a second, you think this comes easy to us - it doesn’t.  Case in point:  the beautiful teal tweed couch and the lovely green suede couch.  You’ll understand in part two next week! We are so glad YOU are here, thanks for joining us!   An example of the T-30 journal can be found in the back of Worthy of Her Trust. An example of a check-in can be found on page 153 in Rescued. Would love to connect with you on Instagram - @shelley_martinkus. We offer 1:1 coaching, couples recovery coaching, support groups, MasterClasses and on-line courses - check out our websites: redemptiveliving.com and rlforwomen.com for the full scoop! Click here to subscribe to Shelley’s {almost} monthly letter + announcements. Click here to subscribe to Jason’s list.Questions for the Podcast? Email us with the subject line: Podcast.