Mini Session 6: Unpacking Codependency and Trauma with Anna Aslanian

Mini Session #8: Addressing Mom Burnout & Perfectionism with Dr. Jen Douglas: Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jen Douglas, a clinical assistant professor at Stanford University, licensed psychologist, and mental wellness speaker, tackle mom burnout and perfectionism, highlighting the pressures modern mothers face. They discuss how today’s moms spend twice as much time on parenting compared to 1965, coupled with the demands of being constantly available to employers. This has led to unrealistic expectations of being a hands-on, super-present mom. They emphasize the importance of allowing yourself to just "be," as taking a moment to relax doesn’t diminish your worth as a mother. The session calls for reevaluating perfectionist standards and giving yourself grace in the journey of motherhood. by I'm Not Your Shrink

5 min listen

The Dos and Don’ts of Postpartum Visits with Renee Reina: This week, Dr. Tracy welcomes back her fellow Canadian sister, Renee Reina, host of the top-ranking podcast The Mom Room, for an open and honest discussion about handling visitors after giving birth. Renee shares her personal experience and how her perspective on postpartum visits shifted after having her son, Milo. They distinguish between true support people and visitors, highlighting the importance of setting boundaries and prioritizing the mother's comfort and needs. The conversation covers cultural expectations, the challenges of navigating in-laws, and the guilt often associated with saying no to visitors. Through engaging listener voicemails, they tackle real-life scenarios, offering practical advice on setting expectations and advocating for one's needs. This episode is a must-listen for all the soon-to-be and new mom's out there! by I'm Not Your Shrink

60 min listen

Mini Session #7: Prioritizing Intimacy: Today's mini session is all about scheduling sex and prioritizing intimacy. Don't leave sex until the end of the night when you're exhausted. Dr. Tracy encourages listeners to be intentional about scheduling it and making it a priority. Remember, intimacy isn't just about intercourse; it's also about emotional connection and shared activities. She offers suggestions and encourages new approaches like naptime sex and taking off the pressure by just being close. If sex feels like a chore, talk openly with your partner about what feels good and what doesn't. Build intimacy through vulnerability and connection in all forms! by I'm Not Your Shrink

7 min listen

Managing Sensory Overload with Dr. Brooke Weinstein: Dr. Brooke, known for her engaging and digestible social media content, explains the concept of sensory overload and how our fast-paced digital world contributes to widespread mental health issues. They discuss the differences between tantrums and meltdowns, the necessity of regular self-regulation, and recognizing personal sensory needs. The conversation also covers supporting partners during dysregulation, the need for flexibility in coping strategies, and the importance of accepting each other's unique needs. This episode aims to promote healthier connections and overall well-being by understanding and respecting the diverse sensory requirements within our relationships. by I'm Not Your Shrink

63 min listen

Understanding Avoidant Partners with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy teams up with her favourite co-host, her husband Greg, to dive into the tricky terrain of avoidant attachment styles in relationships. Sharing their personal stories, they unpack how our past experiences shape behaviours today. Dr. Tracy breaks down attachment theory, reminding us that dependency isn't weakness—it's human. They explore why updating relationship "scripts" is crucial and how regular check-ins can prevent resentment. Greg opens up about his journey to overcome avoidant tendencies, emphasizing the power of asking for what you need. With practical advice on handling avoidant partners and fostering deeper connections, this episode is a heartfelt guide to building a stronger, more understanding relationship. by I'm Not Your Shrink

41 min listen

Mini Session 5: Turning Invisible Work into Visible Work with Eve Rodsky: In this mini session, Dr. Tracy chats with Eve Rodsky about turning "invisible work" into "visible work." Invisible work includes the behind-the-scenes tasks mothers and women often handle without recognition. Eve shares how she created the "Shit I Do" spreadsheet, listing all these tasks and gathering input from women in various communities. This effort made the extensive contributions of mothers more visible. Eve discusses the importance of women taking agency in their lives and introduces the core findings of her book "Fair Play: A Game-Changing Solution for When You Have Too Much to Do.”. by I'm Not Your Shrink

8 min listen

Breaking Relationship Patterns with Amy Chan: In this episode, Dr. Tracy welcomes Amy Chan, founder of Breakup Bootcamp and author of "The Breakup Bootcamp: The Science of Rewiring Your Heart," to discuss why we stay in bad relationships and how to break harmful patterns. Amy shares insights from her own experiences and her work in helping people heal from heartbreak by understanding the deep-rooted reasons behind their relationship choices. They explore concepts like the attraction of deprivation and the sunk cost fallacy, highlighting why people stay in unfulfilling relationships and how to recognize these patterns. Amy also introduces the "shit bucket" theory, emphasizing that all relationships have challenges, and it's crucial to have realistic expectations and effective communication. This conversation offers valuable advice on nurturing oneself, maintaining a sense of self, and fostering mutual motivation and creativity in relationships, ultimately guiding us toward healthier, mo by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

Mini Session 4: Debunking the Myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life" with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy and her husband Greg debunk the myth of "Happy Wife, Happy Life." They argue that true happiness in a relationship should not come at the expense of one's own well-being. They emphasize the importance of having difficult conversations and maintaining a genuine friendship within the relationship. They also touch on the necessity of self-awareness and curiosity in resolving conflicts and highlight that we can only control our responses, not our partner's actions. Ultimately, they stress the importance of authenticity and mutual respect in building a healthy, balanced relationship. by I'm Not Your Shrink

7 min listen

Putting Your Relationship First with Dr. Stan Tatkin: In this week's episode, Dr. Tracy chats with Dr. Stan Tatkin, a renowned clinician, researcher, and author of the bestselling book "Wired for Love." They explore the concept of interdependence in relationships, using the three-legged race analogy to highlight the importance of teamwork. Dr. Tatkin emphasizes understanding our own and our partner's brains to foster secure and functioning relationships, addressing the impact of negativity bias and the pitfalls of social media diagnoses. They discuss attachment styles, the couple bubble, and aligning on priorities for lasting connections. Dr. Tatkin shares insights on conflict resolution, mutual relief during disagreements, and maintaining a strong partnership through mutual sensitivity and understanding. This conversation offers practical advice and profound insights to help listeners build resilient and loving relationships, highlighting why it's actually ok to put your relationship by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Mini Session 3: Attachment Styles and Conflict Resolution with Dr. Morgan Anderson: Dr. Tracy is joined by Dr. Morgan Anderson to discuss the challenges of relationship repair through the lens of attachment styles. They explore how individuals with anxious attachment struggle with distance, often engaging in anxious pursuit and abandoning their own needs to regain a sense of safety. These individuals must learn to self-soothe, such as by taking a walk or doing a task, and become comfortable with discomfort. Whereas those with avoidant attachment deactivate their feelings and needs, pushing away closeness and often wanting to sweep conflicts under the rug. For the avoidantly attached individuals, the focus should be on self-soothing while learning to turn toward their partner, asking for reassurance, and setting clear boundaries. Both attachment styles face unique challenges in repairing relationships, but understanding and addressing these patterns can lead to healthier and more resili by I'm Not Your Shrink

7 min listen

How to Overcome Perfectionism: Dr. Tracy tackles a topic that affects many of us but is also something that is very near and dear to her heart, and that is perfectionism. She explains how perfectionism is more than a desire to do well, often becoming a relentless pursuit of flawlessness that can harm our mental health and relationships. Dr. Tracy explores the internal and external roots of perfectionism and introduces the concept of urge surfing, a technique used to manage the impulse to be perfect. She shares five practical tips for managing perfectionism that have helped her: raising awareness, stepping into discomfort, practicing self-compassion, challenging negative self-talk, and embracing acceptance. Through her personal experiences and professional expertise, she aims to provide support to listeners in navigating their struggles with perfectionism to foster a healthier, more balanced life. by I'm Not Your Shrink

43 min listen

Mini Session 2: Differentiating a Narcissist and a Non Narcissist with Dr. Jaime Zuckerman: In this session, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Jaime Zuckerman explore the key differences between a chronically defensive person (non-narcissist) and a full-blown narcissist. The session delves into the behavioral contrasts, highlighting that defensive partners lack malicious intent, whereas narcissists are often intentionally harmful. To wrap up, Dr. Tracy and Dr. Zuckerman offer insights on managing relationships with both non-narcissistic and narcissistic partners. by I'm Not Your Shrink

8 min listen

Should I Stay or Should I Go? Navigating Marriage and Divorce With Kate Anthony: Join Dr. Tracy and guest Kate Anthony, author and host of the Divorce Survival Guide podcast, as she shares her expertise on the pivotal decision many women grapple with: "Should I stay or should I go?" Having personally navigated an emotionally abusive marriage, Kate understands better than anybody the importance of creating a safe, supportive environment for children caught in the crossfire, the power toxicity holds, and why divorce doesn't ultimately screw up our children. She discusses the disproportionate emotional and domestic labor women often shoulder in heterosexual relationships and why women are left exhausted by the time they reach their breaking point. Kate also encourages women to reconnect with themselves in order to make empowered decisions moving forward in their lives. Tune in for a conversation filled with essential perspectives on nurturing healthier relationships and personal well-bein by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

Mini Session 1: Navigating Defensiveness in Relationships with Matthew Frey: In this session, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Frey discuss a crucial issue that affects many relationships: defensiveness. They explore how defensiveness not only creates barriers but also diminishes and invalidates your partner's feelings. Matthew shares a personal revelation from his own life, noting how his failure to validate his wife's experiences contributed significantly to the deterioration of their marriage. He emphasizes that understanding doesn't require agreement but rather a mindful consideration of another's perspective. by I'm Not Your Shrink

7 min listen

Truth, Trauma and Transformation with Dr. Frank Anderson: Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Frank Anderson, a renowned trauma expert and author to discuss the profound impact of trauma on personal development and well-being, as well as insights from his latest book, "To Be Loved: A Memoir of Truth, Trauma and Transformation," exploring the journey towards healing and forgiveness. The two kick things off by highlighting the importance of therapists sharing their vulnerabilities and human-ness to bridge the gap between them and their clients. Frank delves into how trauma is really just absorbed energy from our experiences with others and why that energy doesn't actually "belong" to us. They also touch on the power of forgiveness in healing trauma, emphasizing that it allows us to let go of negative emotions and see the humanity in others, including ourselves. This episode is a deep dive into understanding trauma’s role in shaping our lives and how embracing our true selves through healing can lead by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

From Conflict to Connection with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host/hubby, Greg, are back and here to tackle one of the most common issues couples face in relationships: why bringing up one problem with a partner often leads to a flood of additional grievances. They discuss why this might happen, identify defense mechanisms and avoidance strategies, and emphasize the importance of understanding and communication in relationships. They introduce the metaphor of a "bridge" between partners and the importance of integrating regular relationship "check-ins" as crucial for maintaining connection and preventing relationship explosions. They also address some listener questions, offering insights into managing different parenting styles and in-law tensions and stressing the importance of empathy, patience, and individual growth in a relationship. Tune in solo or listen with your partner for the wisdom you didn't even know you needed! by I'm Not Your Shrink

47 min listen

The Courage to Choose Yourself with Julie Chavez: Julie opens up about her journey from prioritizing everyone else's needs to understanding the crucial importance of self-care, a lesson learned through her own struggles with anxiety and depression. Together, Julie and Dr. Tracy dive into the transformative power of therapy, the discipline and "work" required to maintain our mental health, and how changing her own patterns impacted her marriage and family dynamics. Tune in, and discover why your joy is worth your time. by I'm Not Your Shrink

58 min listen

Body Memories and Intergenerational Healing with Dr. Tanya Cotler: Dr. Tracy kicks off the episode by sharing a recent personal experience of a body memory—a sudden, unexplained emotional outburst she later linked to her childhood. This episode dives deep into the concept of body memories—emotions stored physically that our brains may not recall cognitively—and the importance of addressing intergenerational trauma. They discuss how modern parenting is shifting towards acknowledging and processing these traumas to prevent passing them on to the next generation. The conversation also explores the nervous system's role in safety and emotional responses, mindfulness practices, attachment theory, the influence of social media on our understanding of attachment styles, and so much more. You don’t want to miss this one! by I'm Not Your Shrink

56 min listen

Why Love Isn’t Enough with Matthew Hussey: In this insightful conversation, Dr. Tracy and Matthew Hussey, renowned love and relationship expert, explore the very real challenges of finding the right person in today’s society. Before diving into the advice and strategies, the two share a candid connection about the ironic struggle they face as "experts" in their field, when really, they are just humans navigating the same love-life struggles as everyone else. Matthew then shares the details of his new book and breaks down the four critical levels of a relationship that we should value: admiration, mutual attraction, commitment, and compatibility, discussing how each plays a vital role in the journey towards a lasting connection. They also touch on the unrealistic way love is portrayed in the media, the negative role familiarity can play when it comes to our relationships and why so many of us repeat the same patterns when it comes to love. This episode aims to guide listeners through th by I'm Not Your Shrink

44 min listen

Understanding Grief Beyond the Surface with Megan Riordan Jarvis: In today's episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with grief therapist Meghan Riordan Jarvis to unpack the nuanced experiences of grief and loss beyond what we often associate with obvious tragedies, like the death of a loved one. They discuss how grief can sneak into our everyday lives, often unrecognized, and explore the importance of tuning into our bodies and managing our nervous system's response to grief. Meghan, drawing on both her professional expertise and personal experiences of loss, offers insights into the physical and emotional impacts of grief, strategies for coping with the body's fight or flight response, and the significance of processing grief to avoid long-term trauma. Hopefully, this episode offers a deeper understanding of grief's complex nature and provides listeners with the tools necessary to navigate their own experiences of loss. by I'm Not Your Shrink

58 min listen

A Couple's Guide to Raising a Highly Sensitive Child Together with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy and her favourite co-host and hubby, Greg, dive deep into the heart of what it means to parent as a team, especially when faced with the unique challenges of raising a highly sensitive child (HSC). Through their personal stories and recent parenting experiences, they offer a candid look at the complexities and joys of navigating life with an HSC. They discuss the critical role of teamwork in understanding and supporting their child's intense emotions, while also reflecting on their own unique sensitivities and approaches to parenting. This conversation sheds light on the strategies that have been helpful for them, highlighting the importance of empathy, depersonalization, patience, and maintaining a united front. Dr. Tracy and Greg aim to not only share wisdom for parenting HSCs but also a message of hope and solidarity for other families facing these beautifully complex parenting journeys. by I'm Not Your Shrink

50 min listen

Transforming Fear into Fulfillment with Heather Chauvin: This week, Dr. Tracy sits down with Heather Chauvin, a renowned leadership coach, TEDx speaker, podcast host, and author of "Dying to be a Good Mother." Together, they tackle the universal challenge of embracing discomfort and leaning into fear. Heather brings a wealth of experience from her own life, sharing how her battle with stage 4 cancer and the trials of motherhood propelled her towards a life of authenticity and courage. She emphasizes the significance of energetic time management, acknowledging fear in the body, and making conscious choices towards self-care and personal fulfillment. This conversation is a powerful reminder of the transformative potential of facing discomfort head-on, offering listeners actionable insights for living more aligned and purposeful lives. by I'm Not Your Shrink

53 min listen

ICYMI: Sleeping in Separate Beds with The Mom Room's Renee Reina: In honour of Sleep Awareness Week, we're revisiting the intriguing concept of "sleep divorce," a choice often misunderstood and stigmatized in society. Dr. Renee Reina, a Ph.D. in psychology and host of "The Mom Room," joins Dr. Tracy to debunk myths surrounding this phenomenon. Together, they explore how prioritizing sleep by choosing to sleep apart can actually nurture and strengthen relationships, contrary to the belief that it signifies a lack of love or intimacy. This discussion sheds light on the importance of addressing sleep needs openly and making mindful decisions to enhance both personal well-being and partnership dynamics. by I'm Not Your Shrink

51 min listen

The Roots of Codependency: Trauma, Love, and Self-Compassion with Anna Aslanian: In this week’s episode, Dr. Tracy sits down with Anna Aslanian to dive into the complex world of co-dependency, self-sacrifice, and interdependence in relationships. Anna, a licensed marriage and family therapist with a rich background in psychological care, sheds light on the roots of co-dependent behaviour, often tracing back to early relationships and trauma. Together, they explore the nuances of trauma and debunk the negative connotations of co-dependency, advocating instead for an understanding of dependency as a means of seeking safety and connection. Anna offers practical advice for embracing authenticity and self-compassion, crucial steps towards cultivating healthier, more balanced relationships. This episode is a must-listen for anyone looking to find the delicate balance between caring for others and nurturing oneself. by I'm Not Your Shrink

50 min listen

Rewriting the Narrative of Success, Storytelling, and Self-Discovery with Zibby Owens: In this episode, she joins Dr. Tracy to explore her latest fiction work, "Blank: A Novel," reflecting on her multifaceted journey from writing her first article at 14, through her divorce, and into the literary world, emphasizing the therapeutic power of storytelling. Zibby shares insights into overcoming internal barriers and the importance of embracing the reality of life’s brevity to fearlessly pursue your passions. She also touches on the complexities of work-life balance, doing your best as a mother, the inspiration behind the name of her podcast, and the unique challenges of writing fiction. This episode is packed with wisdom and an inspiring message that it’s never too late to go for it. by I'm Not Your Shrink

36 min listen

Unpacking Envy with Elise Loehnen: Through her own personal story and insights from her book "On Our Best Behavior: The Seven Deadly Sins and the Price Women Pay to Be Good," Elise invites us to question why women are hard on themselves and each other. She explores the nuances of envy and jealousy, urging us to view these feelings as signals to our desires rather than sources of shame, and touches on the inherent fear women have about expressing anger. By encouraging women to embrace their ambitions and emotions authentically, Elise offers a pathway to a more fulfilling and self-aware life, challenging societal norms that restrict women's expressions and desires. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Relationship Check-Ins: Benefits, Challenges and Reality with Greg Stewart: Dr. Tracy, her favourite co-host, and husband Greg dive into the power of "relationship check-ins," sharing their personal experience as partners, parents, and business co-owners. They unpack the value and long-term benefits of these intentional discussions, with Greg shedding light on breaking down the barriers and debunking the stigma from a man’s perspective. Together, they guide us through setting up effective check-ins that don't include personalization and blame and how to focus on constructive feedback and celebrating successes. By weaving in their personal stories, they illustrate how consistent, open conversations can bridge gaps, enhance understanding, and solidify the connection between partners, making the relationship stronger and more fulfilling for both parties. by I'm Not Your Shrink

52 min listen

The Narcissist: Understanding, Unmasking, and Surviving with Dr. Jamie Zuckerman: Dr. Tracy welcomes Dr. Jamie Zuckerman, a renowned expert on narcissistic abuse, to explore the complexities of navigating relationships with narcissists. Dr. Zuckerman discusses the subtle yet damaging ways narcissistic relationships can erode one's sense of self and the challenges of recognizing and escaping these toxic dynamics. She highlights the common warning signs that you might be dealing with a narcissist, the textbook behaviour to be aware of, and the long-term impact of having a narcissistic parent, partner, family member, or even friend. Lastly, Dr. Zuckerman offers her wisdom on recovering from narcissistic abuse, emphasizing the need for setting boundaries, understanding the difference between narcissists and those who suffer from chronic defensiveness, and the process of healing and reclaiming one's life. by I'm Not Your Shrink

55 min listen

Parenting ‘Spicy’ Children with Mary Van Geffen: Mary shares her transformation from an overwhelmed mother to an empowering guide, discussing her journey of self-discovery and healing while raising a "spicy" one herself after coming from a long line of "spicy" children. She touches on the importance of understanding and connection over discipline and the necessity of self-care for parents. She then dispels common misconceptions about "spicy" children, highlighting where they shine as individuals. Lastly, Mary provides practical advice for parents on maintaining a united front as they navigate the complexities of parenting "spicy" ones. Whether you are a parent to a "spicy" child yourself or not, hopefully this episode serves as a reminder to give yourself some grace throughout your parenting journey. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

Re-parenting & Breaking Cycles with Shelly Robinson: Dr. Tracy welcomes Shelly Robinson, a certified family wellness coach and conscious parenting educator. Together, they explore the intricacies of parenting, relationships, and self-connection. Shelly dives into the concept of re-parenting, the importance of attunement, and practical ways to foster meaningful connections with oneself, children, and partner. The conversation dives into Shelly's insights on inherited toxic behaviors, the significance of self-compassion, and the key to building deep connections within a family. Join them for a thoughtful discussion on breaking generational cycles and creating homes filled with compassion, calm, and joy. by I'm Not Your Shrink

48 min listen

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Mini Session 6: Unpacking Codependency and Trauma with Anna Aslanian

Mini Session 6: Unpacking Codependency and Trauma with Anna Aslanian

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