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    Never Assume: Uncut
    Cool as a Cucumber
    Never Assume
    Ebook series4 titles

    The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs Series

    By Keren Joseph and Jonathan Joseph

    ()

    About this series

    When Steve Moran, Mr Griffs’ troublesome neighbour, throws a lavish party, everyone in the neighbourhood is invited. Everyone, that is, except for Mr Griffs.

    Although he has no intention of attending Steve’s pretentious party, Mr Griffs’ curiosity gets the better of him. After coming to the aid of a party-bound and cake-bearing old lady, Mr Griffs gallantly offers to escort her (and her cake) inside. Within no time at all, Mr Griffs finds himself sipping champagne and sampling Steve’s expensive canapés.

    All at once, Steve’s carefully-laid-out plans unravel and, no matter how much he tries, he just can’t keep Mr Griffs away. When all of his friends, and even his wife, begin to flock around his neighbour, Steve is left to wonder – who, in fact, is the unwanted guest?

    ‘I love a cake. And this one’s got the perfect amount of cream!’ Mr Griffs salivated over the dessert. Although he considered sneaking a piece, he realised that the only way to get a bite would be to infiltrate the party.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKeren Joseph
    Release dateApr 26, 2016
    Never Assume: Uncut
    Cool as a Cucumber
    Never Assume

    Titles in the series (4)

    • 1

      Never Assume
      Never Assume

      Never Assume

      Keren Joseph
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      In Never Assume, the first story in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series, Mr Griffs and his difficult neighbour, Steve Moran, go head to head. Mr Griffs loves everything his neighbour hates. While Mr Griffs enjoys wearing baggy clothes, Steve only dresses in designer suits. Mr Griffs relishes his privacy and Steve regularly snoops on people. Mr Griffs appreciates wildlife whereas Steve sees wild animals as pests. Their long-standing rivalry escalates when Steve accuses Mr Griffs of digging holes in his garden. In response, Mr Griffs uses a particularly hot batch of his wife’s spicy nuts to get back at Steve. Mr Griffs and Steve Moran rarely see eye to eye, but they do have one thing in common. They’re both guilty of assuming. Absurd and quirky - this is just a typical day in the life of Mr Griffs.

      In Never Assume, the first story in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series, Mr Griffs and his difficult neighbour, Steve Moran, go head to head. Mr Griffs loves everything his neighbour hates. While Mr Griffs enjoys wearing baggy clothes, Steve only dresses in designer suits. Mr Griffs relishes his privacy and Steve regularly snoops on people. Mr Griffs appreciates wildlife whereas Steve sees wild animals as pests. Their long-standing rivalry escalates when Steve accuses Mr Griffs of digging holes in his garden. In response, Mr Griffs uses a particularly hot batch of his wife’s spicy nuts to get back at Steve. Mr Griffs and Steve Moran rarely see eye to eye, but they do have one thing in common. They’re both guilty of assuming. Absurd and quirky - this is just a typical day in the life of Mr Griffs.

    • 1

      Never Assume: Uncut
      Never Assume: Uncut

      Never Assume: Uncut

      Keren Joseph
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      Never Assume: Uncut delves into some of the back stories and behind-the-scenes moments of Never Assume - the first story in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series. This special addition also contains exclusive bonus material, character interviews and a preview of Cool as a Cucumber, the next story in the series.

      Never Assume: Uncut delves into some of the back stories and behind-the-scenes moments of Never Assume - the first story in The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs series. This special addition also contains exclusive bonus material, character interviews and a preview of Cool as a Cucumber, the next story in the series.

    • 2

      Cool as a Cucumber
      Cool as a Cucumber

      Cool as a Cucumber

      Keren Joseph
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      When there’s a cockroach outbreak in the town of Cornville, only one man is as cool as a cucumber. Mr Griffs isn’t at all fazed by the cockroaches – not when he has a garden full of cucumbers. When news of his alternative remedy gets out, Mr Griffs is faced with an angry mob. Led by Steve Moran, Mr Griffs’ arch nemesis, the cucumber thieves will stop at nothing to get what they want. Mr Griffs is forced to put aside his scientific research on wild bush turkeys and must do whatever is necessary to protect his flowerbeds, his garden, his house and his friends. Even if it means teaching Steve a lesson or two and setting the local council straight. ‘Yes, the rumours are true. I do have home grown cucumbers and their skins deter cockroaches. They’re also quite delicious, if I do say so myself. You can pickle them, put them in salads or even just eat them whole.’

      When there’s a cockroach outbreak in the town of Cornville, only one man is as cool as a cucumber. Mr Griffs isn’t at all fazed by the cockroaches – not when he has a garden full of cucumbers. When news of his alternative remedy gets out, Mr Griffs is faced with an angry mob. Led by Steve Moran, Mr Griffs’ arch nemesis, the cucumber thieves will stop at nothing to get what they want. Mr Griffs is forced to put aside his scientific research on wild bush turkeys and must do whatever is necessary to protect his flowerbeds, his garden, his house and his friends. Even if it means teaching Steve a lesson or two and setting the local council straight. ‘Yes, the rumours are true. I do have home grown cucumbers and their skins deter cockroaches. They’re also quite delicious, if I do say so myself. You can pickle them, put them in salads or even just eat them whole.’

    • 4

      The Unwanted Guest
      The Unwanted Guest

      The Unwanted Guest

      Keren Joseph
      0 ratings
      0 ratings

      When Steve Moran, Mr Griffs’ troublesome neighbour, throws a lavish party, everyone in the neighbourhood is invited. Everyone, that is, except for Mr Griffs. Although he has no intention of attending Steve’s pretentious party, Mr Griffs’ curiosity gets the better of him. After coming to the aid of a party-bound and cake-bearing old lady, Mr Griffs gallantly offers to escort her (and her cake) inside. Within no time at all, Mr Griffs finds himself sipping champagne and sampling Steve’s expensive canapés. All at once, Steve’s carefully-laid-out plans unravel and, no matter how much he tries, he just can’t keep Mr Griffs away. When all of his friends, and even his wife, begin to flock around his neighbour, Steve is left to wonder – who, in fact, is the unwanted guest? ‘I love a cake. And this one’s got the perfect amount of cream!’ Mr Griffs salivated over the dessert. Although he considered sneaking a piece, he realised that the only way to get a bite would be to infiltrate the party.

      When Steve Moran, Mr Griffs’ troublesome neighbour, throws a lavish party, everyone in the neighbourhood is invited. Everyone, that is, except for Mr Griffs. Although he has no intention of attending Steve’s pretentious party, Mr Griffs’ curiosity gets the better of him. After coming to the aid of a party-bound and cake-bearing old lady, Mr Griffs gallantly offers to escort her (and her cake) inside. Within no time at all, Mr Griffs finds himself sipping champagne and sampling Steve’s expensive canapés. All at once, Steve’s carefully-laid-out plans unravel and, no matter how much he tries, he just can’t keep Mr Griffs away. When all of his friends, and even his wife, begin to flock around his neighbour, Steve is left to wonder – who, in fact, is the unwanted guest? ‘I love a cake. And this one’s got the perfect amount of cream!’ Mr Griffs salivated over the dessert. Although he considered sneaking a piece, he realised that the only way to get a bite would be to infiltrate the party.

    Author

    Keren Joseph

    Jonathan and Keren Joseph are a brother and sister team from Sydney, Australia. They are the authors of The Absurd Tales of Mr Griffs - a series of short stories.

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