Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX Series

If you’ve read any of the short stories in the Tilly and Elmer series, you may have wondered how much more adventuresome Tilly and Elmer must have been as teenagers. Now it can be revealed! In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of empathy at the blundering beauty of their first time. Book 1, Is that your Thigh I’m Squeezing?, recounts the beginning of their relationship, from Elmer’s furtive examination of Tilly’s anatomy to the miscommunication surrounding the conclusion of their first date. It must have worked out though; they are still teasing each other about the legendary events of that first date fifty years later. September 29, 1961 The phone call: “Hello?” “Tilly?” “This is Mrs. Williams. Would you like to speak with Tilly?” “Um, yes. It’s Elmer Talbot. Is Tilly there?” Elmer heard Tilly’s mom call out, away from the phone. “Tilly, it’s Elmer Talbot.” While he waited, Elmer considered how a bug must feel when it’s about to be squashed. The huge foot descending, blocking out the sky, coming closer and closer ... “Hello Elmer!” Silence. “Elmer?” “Hello Tilly, it’s Elmer.” “I know silly! How are you?” “Want to go to the movies Saturday night?” “You know I want to go to the movies Saturday night, Elmer. Thank you for asking!” One second passed in silence as Elmer began to breathe again. Another second of silence passed as a huge weight ascended from Elmer’s shoulders. There was no sound for another second as Elmer realized he actually WAS the greatest stud west of the Mississippi. Elmer smiled quietly as he imagined Tilly at his feet, reaching up pleadingly while clinging to his thigh. “Make love to me!” she begged. He gently removed the last of her clothing and laid her across the soft rug in front of the fire. The warm, flickering light illuminated her naked... “Elmer?” “Yes?” Elmer replied in a voice that sounded slightly deeper than before. “You ARE asking me to go WITH you, aren’t you Elmer?” “Of course. How about if I pick you up at 6:30?” “OK, that will be fun.” “I hope so. Bye.” “See you then.”

If you’ve read any of the short stories in the Tilly and Elmer series, you may have wondered how much more adventuresome Tilly and Elmer must have been as teenagers. Now it can be revealed! In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of empathy at the blundering beauty of their first time. Book 2, Falling for a Kiss, describes Tilly and Elmer’s third date which, by tradition, meant their first kiss. Elmer knew it would be a pivotal moment in his life, but he didn’t have a clue about how to manage it. When he picked Tilly up for the Halloween dance and found her dressed as a vampire, his task suddenly seemed even more difficult than he expected. And what happened after the kiss was even more surprising - to both Elmer, and the author! “Thanks for taking me to the dance Elmer.” said Tilly. “I had a good time.” “Yes.” “Weren’t the costumes wonderful?” Tilly asked. “Yes.” said Elmer. There was a pause in the conversation. Elmer looked down at his feet. His legs were beginning to shiver noticeably. Tilly looked up at him expectantly. Elmer looked over her shoulder and watched a car’s headlights move past her driveway out on the road. “Um... Tilly?” he said. “Yes, Elmer?” “Um... Tilly. Uh.” “What is it Elmer?” she asked. “The decorations were nice too.” he said. “Yes, they were.” said Tilly. “The cornstalks were very appropriate. For a fall dance I mean.” She looked down at her feet and noticed Elmer’s bare legs. “Elmer, you’re shivering. It’s cold out here isn’t it?” “Not too cold.” Elmer lied. “I shouldn’t keep you out here in the cold too long.” Tilly said. “That’s OK.” said Elmer, his teeth beginning to chatter.

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. By the summer of 1962, Tilly and Elmer had been dating for nearly a year, they were completely in love, and this was their first, delicious, summer together. Their relationship was balanced precariously between wanting to inundate each other with outrageous sexual adventures, and caution, complicated by cluelessness, about how much intimacy would be proper and appropriate. Even though Tilly had let Elmer fondle her bare breasts, and they had touched each other through their clothes, neither knew more than the most rudimentary facts about biology or sexual intimacy, and neither had seen an adult member of the opposite sex naked. Sex education in 1962 consisted primarily of “hands on experience” and Tilly and Elmer were about to enjoy a very educational summer. ‘“Come on in.” he said to Tilly. “Ok.” she said, taking off her shoes and socks and taking a step toward the water. “I think that shirt and those shorts had better wait for you on the bank.” he said. “Some naughty boy might splash water on them if you have them on.” “Ok, Elmer, but I’m not taking all my clothes off if that’s what you’re thinking!” “Would I think something like that?” Tilly giggled. “Of course not!” she said. She stripped down to her bra and panties and joined him in the water. They began hugging, kissing, and massaging one another, an activity which led to Elmer removing Tilly’s bra and tossing it onto the bank. “Elmer?” she said. “Come on Tilly, I’ve seen your tits before and they are so beautiful it would be a shame to cover them up.” “All right you silver tongued devil, you can see them as long as you ask each of them for permission with a kiss.” Permission was applied for and granted.’

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. In Book 3, Punch Drunk on Love, Tilly and Elmer fall hopelessly in love. They were now officially a couple, and that meant lots of new experiences, like meeting each other’s relatives, buying presents for each other, talking on the phone for hours, going to parties together as a couple, and getting a little drunk together for the first time. Naturally, some of the new experiences were delightful, others were not. “Tilly had been anticipating in detail, since sixth grade, what being in love would feel like, but she had always expected it to be something she could control, the maiden on the pedestal, summoning and dismissing her admirers and granting her favors to the handsomest and most dashing at her leisure. Now her feelings were not even slightly under her control. Elmer was above average in most respects, but he wasn’t the smartest, most handsome, or best athlete in the neighborhood. Before the kiss, Tilly could have described in practical terms Elmer’s strengths and shortcomings as a potential boyfriend; now, he suddenly seemed like the most perfect and lovable boy west of the Mississippi. She imagined caring for their children, giving him a kiss in the late afternoon when he came home from work, sitting on the porch with him after dinner, throwing card parties for their friends, and, maybe, every couple of weeks, having a romantic romp between the sheets before drifting off to sleep in his arms. If Tilly was surprised at the intensity and unanticipated direction of her feelings, Elmer was blindsided by the whole experience. He had spent no time at all imagining himself in love, wondering what it would feel like, or how he would bring it about. He expected that he’d probably have to profess his love for someone to entice her into bed with him, but the idea that he might, himself, actually fall in love had never occurred to him. In fact the whole concept of falling in love was quite vague in his mind.”

If you’ve read any of the short stories in the Tilly and Elmer series, you may have wondered how much more adventuresome Tilly and Elmer must have been as teenagers. Now it can be revealed! In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of empathy at the blundering beauty of their first time. Book4, The Breast Laid Plans, follows Elmer's carefully worked out plan for removing Tilly's bra and delighting her with a "massage". Not all plans work perfectly though, and this one runs into two problems. Elmer drove by Old Man Smith's farmhouse and turned right at the crossroads. Before long he slowed down, turned off his headlights, and turned into the short driveway leading to the lane behind the hedgerow. "Elmer, where are you taking me?" asked Tilly, with a distinct lack of concern. "I thought you might like to go apple picking. You know, just like Adam and Eve." "There won't be any apples on these trees for six more months, Elmer!" Tilly pointed out. "Well, I guess we'll just have to think of something to do while we're waiting then, won't we?"

If you’ve read any of the short stories in the Tilly and Elmer series, you may have wondered how much more adventuresome Tilly and Elmer must have been as teenagers. Now it can be revealed! In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of empathy at the blundering beauty of their first time. In Book 5, Prom Night and Spanish Olives, Tilly and Elmer attend the prom, the most anticipated event of the year at South Branch High. Each planned activity of the evening produces its share of delightful anticipation and unspoken anxiety. The prom is everything they hope for, but by the end of the night they are too tired for the legendary sexual frenzy. They are fully rested however, for an intimate picnic they have planned for the next afternoon, and both Tilly and Elmer get a taste of something new. Something new and delicious. Something new and delicious and worrisome. “The pre-prom dinner went well, especially since Tilly was obviously having a wonderful time. Elmer had to ask her why they had far more silverware than seemed necessary, what ”Foie gras“ was, and why the waiter brought him a tiny fork with his shrimp cocktail. Tilly explained everything, and then put her hand lovingly on his thigh, causing him to forget the entire lesson. Their relationship had progressed to the point where Tilly would sometimes rub the front of his pants when she was in a playful mood, but this never happened in public. Until now. The diners were seated at a long table with a linen tablecloth, which reached to lap level, so her hand location was not obvious to anyone else, but the bright red color of Elmer’s face was obvious, and when Linda asked what was wrong, he had to explain to her that there had been a piece of very hot pepper in his ”Spicy Tomato Soup“. At the conclusion of the dinner, Elmer ostentatiously placed his crisp $20 bill on the little tray that held the check. Tilly was impressed; not only was Elmer the best looking and sweetest boy at the table, he was rich as well.”

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. After over a year of hands on practice in foreplay, our lovers can’t hold off any longer; it’s time to say a grateful goodbye to their precious virginity and find out what real sex is all about. The only problem is where to find a warm, reasonably comfortable, and very private place to celebrate their first coupling. Finally, an opportunity arises and Elmer and Tilly are ready to seize the day! “December 9, 1962 On a Saturday a couple of weeks before Christmas, Elmer drove out to Tilly’s house a few miles out of town to pick her up, presumably to go to a movie and hang around at the local diner in town. As Tilly’s mom opened the door, she wondered why Elmer was wearing an unusually heavy application of Old Spice aftershave lotion. For her part, Tilly noticed that Elmer was grinning more than usual, and didn’t seem to want to engage in his usual friendly banter with her mother. As soon as they were out of earshot, Tilly said, ”I see you’re grinning like you know something I probably want to know too.“ If all goes according to my carefully crafted plan, your virginity will get lost somewhere before you come back home!” giggled Elmer, barely able to contain his enthusiasm. “Oh no, Elmer, not my precious virginity!” said Tilly with mock seriousness. Then she turned to real seriousness. “You’re making my panties wet, and I haven’t even heard the plan yet!” They got into Elmer’s truck, and on the way to town, he revealed the plot.“

“Wide Awake at the Sleeptite Motel” is the final chapter in the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series. Our couple has grown from clumsy and inexperienced high school juniors, to not quite so clumsy, but much more experienced, lovers. Now, the time they have dreaded but dreamed of has come – they’re off to college. To make matters worse, Tilly is headed to San Francisco! Elmer is worried about Tilly and those California guys, but, before she leaves, he’s determined to give her the ultimate romantic night. The Sleeptite Motel had seen many couples come and go, but none were more fond of each other, or enthusiastic about proving it, than Tilly and Elmer. “Take off your shoes and socks!” she commanded. Elmer did as he was told. After he did so, Tilly unfastened and lowered his pants, removing them and his shirt. She put her arms around him and whispered, “I love you like crazy, Elmer!” “I love you crazier.” he said. Tilly took his hand and led him to the bed, but instead of lying down, she stepped up on the mattress and pulled him up too. Then she began to jump like a kid. In a minute they were both laughing and jumping on the bed in their underwear like a couple of five year olds. Luckily, the slats keeping the mattress and springs off the floor had been reinforced due to the fact that the original bed supports had suffered structural damage from repetitive impact loading may times before.

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. After over a year of foreplay, Tilly and Elmer finally go “all the way”. They have been anticipating this event for a long time, and while it doesn’t completely live up to their expectations, it’s definitely unforgettable and, over time, the experience becomes more and more perfect in their memory until it becomes legendary. The immediate aftermath, however, raises a number of questions in Tilly’s mind, although from Elmer’s point of view, now that he’s a real man, life couldn’t get more beautiful. ‘Elmer went into the bathroom and unzipped his pants. His penis was aimed at the ceiling. He tried to think of something besides Tilly and the fact that she was in bed naked in the next room, waiting for him to deflower her. His attempt to think about something else was unsuccessful. It appeared that urinating could take him all afternoon, but he wouldn’t be able to comfortably have sex with Tilly if he had to pee. He considered getting into the shower so he could try to urinate with his penis pointing upward. That might work, but it could be messy and awkward. He decided to try it that way, but outside the back door. He ducked back into the bedroom and told Tilly he would be right back, that he had to go outside for a second. “Why?” she asked. “My dick is so hard I can’t bend it down toward the toilet so I’m going to pee outside, where it won’t matter.” “Can I watch?” she asked, laughing. “Tilly, if you’re watching, I won’t be able to pee for a week. Just wait for me, I won’t be long.”’

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s inexperience, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. Tilly knows that men ejaculate something when they reach a climax, but she has no idea what that might be like. Her mother has described it as a man’s “seed” but that doesn’t make much sense. She’s anxious to find out what it’s all about, and she knows Elmer will enjoy it. Elmer, on the other hand, knows how explosive it can be and he’s afraid Tilly will find it disgusting. He can’t hold off forever though, and both of them find the result surprising. ‘Tilly started to laugh. “I just remembered something funny. After we had calmed down, and finished kissing, which took quite a while, we both had to pee. We got out of the truck, I think I was in my bra and panties and I know you had nothing on but a shirt with wet spots all over it, and, even though it was pretty dark out, you went behind a bush and I walked 50 feet away and squatted behind a tree. I remember, even at the time, thinking how stupid it was that I was outside in the middle of the night in my underwear, with your semen dripping from my hair, and I was too shy to let you see me urinating even in the dark.”’

In the Tilly and Elmer FlashbackX series, our favorite sexagenarians describe, in sometimes hilarious and sometimes scandalous detail, their slow motion coming of age in the Midwest in the early sixties. From their clumsy first date to the first time they go “all the way” (on the second try), you’ll gasp at Elmer’s stupidity, smile at Tilly’s (real or faked?) innocence, and perhaps shed a tear of recognition at the blundering beauty of their first time. Spring 1963 is nearly at hand, and now that Tilly and Elmer have finally gone “ALL THE WAY”, what they want to do, really, the only thing they want to do, is practice. It’s not so easy in the winter, although they find some surprising ways to express their love for each other, but as spring comes, they find it easier to study their favorite subject together. "Tilly looked down at Elmer’s lean, naked body, and began to laugh. "What's so funny?" Elmer wanted to know. “That part of you looks like a little prairie dog poking its head out of its burrow every time I move!" Elmer responded by reciting a familiar cheer from the South Branch High Prairie Dog cheerleading squad: “South Branch High is going to soar Our Prairie Dogs are bound to win, Now’s a perfect time to score Come on boys, let’s put it in.”